Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dating advice.


AOA. Im a 23 year old woman, a student of medicine. I had this really good friend at school, a doctor as well. After some time we realised we had feelings for each other. He proposed to me (a week after which he left, to study abroad) I have always been so conservative about dating and romantic relationships and stuff.. and now I feel bad for loving him!! The main issue is he needs time to settle and convince his parents. I dont wanna get into a relationship with someone and drag it unless Im sure. But I really like this guy, he fears Allah, offers his prayers and stuff, he's exactly the way I want my life partner to be with. What am I supposed to do?

Theres another thing. I find his views, in fact his moms views a little materialistic. He says whatever he earns will be his moms and whatever I earn will be used to support the family. (Him, kids and me) also his mom would keep all the money and give us allowances every day (which is practically not possible and Im not sure if he just jokes about it) but all of this really freaks me out. Am I really thinking too much or this is normal or I should talk to him or what? 🙁

drK

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2 Responses »

  1. Islamically it is very very wrong for a wife and husband to share the house expenses it is his responsibility it is said that even if she works you're to give her money for her own spending. It is so wrong to share the house expenses. She can borrow him but he must pay her back. It's okay if she buys things as gift but he shouldn't take it normal for her taking responsibility. That is one of the things that makes a husbands wealth not to prosper rather falls and giving out zakah too. If you earn upto a hundred thousand a month then you're to remove 25 every month for zakah you keep gathering in a different account and in a year you give it out but that's if you're very sure every month you get up-to a hundred thousand alot of people think zakah is giving out some food stuffs or things during eid celebration. So talk to him and let him know it not normal

  2. I think you should forget abt this guy. The signs are very simple and straight forward. Even you know yourself that his views abt supporting a family are rubbish. Who takes care of the family in ur household?
    You have the guide line from Islamic point in the post above. Talking to him will get you no where. This is his mother's and his views which will not change. Make no promises and be straight that you don't see yourself taking allowance's. Leave the decision upon Allah and something good will come your way.

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