Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Daydreaming about a star crush

love dream

As salaamu alaikum,

I have a question about daydreaming -excessive daydreaming about a star crush, which has become an addiction. I am feeling very uneasy about this. I feel I fell in love with that star crush and find it difficult to stop daydreaming about him (daydreaming i.e. dreaming about marriage with the star crush).

Please tell me what should I do. It has become very difficult for me to decide. I am suffering from maladaptive daydreaming which generally means excessive daydreaming. If I stop daydreaming about my star crush, I can't stop crying and feel depressed. Please help. Am I sinning?

May Allah bless you.



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19 Responses »

  1. Yes thats from shaytaan are you praying? If not youre wasting your time on that and not praying, if you are there are still a hundred beneficial things you could be doing eg taking up an arabic/Quran class, charity work etc. It's also counting as zina, zina isnt just the act of fornication. Ask Allah to help you and focus on something better for you, if its still hard - fast.

    • I disagree with it counting as zina. Zina has a prescribed punishment for it, and is defined as intercourse. Daydreaming is not zina. If it were then if four witnesses witnessed her day dreaming then the punishment for zina would be justified against her.

      • I agree with M on this one. Why on earth would her daydreaming count as zina??
        True, what she is doing probably not halal, but it is certainly not considered that sin.

    • This type of Muslims and their infantile suggestions unfortunately make many people give up on Islam as they are not based on realistic situations/emotions people face.

  2. Your problem may very well be that you are depressed about something. And it may be something that you can't deal with or perhaps you can. Instead of fighting it, you're running away from it by escaping into this daydream. As long as you daydream you escape and don't deal with the issue. The second you stop you start crying because of the loss of this fake love with this guy and having to deal with reality. You need to talk to a friend, or counselor about these problems. I do recommend reading the Quran with meaning daily as this will give you the right perspective. You will then daydream about the afterlife which you can do something about.

    • Best answer which does not make people give up on Islam, as it actually comes with intelligent suggestions and not "haram, you are going to hell for this!" And the reasons for her crush are also quite true.

    • Assalamalaikum wa rahmatullahe wa barakatuhu
      PLEASSSSSSE! My brothers and sisters pleaaase give me a solution if u have any cause i also have this problem
      May allah garnt u jannat ul firdaus

      • There is alwayes a trigger for daydreaming to stop daydreaming make sure to find the trigger the best way to stop daydreaming is to make youself bussy and doing different kind of activities untile exhausted for that day when sleeping listening to quran is the best way to stop your brain from daydreaming but know that you really shoud have the true intent to want to stop day dreaming beacuse without this it will be difficult also when you feel the urge to daydream resist it by doing azkars it will be difficult at first and you may feel exhausted emotionally but slowly you will be able to stop it but do not give up the process of cuting it is like stoping being an addicted person but with patience and endurance you can do it

  3. Hi Brothers and Sisters,

    Islam as a religion cannot be defined as per individual opinions. If anyone doesnt know about Islam, its compulsory upon him to learn it from experts. Quran says learn from experts if you don't know.

    I know i am not worthy to intercede and advice, I am nothing but a student of Allah's deen Islam. Forgive me if my reply would possibly offend any of your feelings.

    Zina is Haram. No doubt in that. Lets see what Quran says about Zina, Sura Al Israh Verse No.32 : "And do not go anywhere NEAR ZINA, it is an outrage and an evil path". Allah didn't said, "Don't DO ZINA AND ONLY DOING ZINA IS AN OUTRAGE". As per this verse, according to the scholars, it is haram to go near Zina as well. Scholars then explained different types of near zinas.
    Zina of Private place
    Zina of Eyes
    Zina of Hands
    Zina of legs
    Zina of Ears
    Zina of the heart

    To conclude, thinking about oppossite sex and dreaming marriage about him and such things comes under ZINA OF THE HEART. Hence, it is only fair to say to our sister that it is haram to do such things and repeating such haram will effect her relation with Allah.

    May Allah protect us and help us understanding his religion.

    Thank you with a request to Dua.

  4. M has the only relevant reply.

    Yes it is zina, bla bla bla of heart or whatever, but what is the solution?

    Too often Muslims only have this to say...halal, haram, heaven hell.


    Stick with M.

    He/She is right.

    • What she is referring to isn't Zina. Maladaptive daydreaming can be triggered by many things, including childhood abuse. It isn't something to easily "grow out of." It seems though the only solution our Muslim brothers and sisters have to offer is to shove religion down everyone's throats. Yes, religion can play a role in healing but one must also consider psychiatric counseling. Religion doesn't make everything go away and back to normal. You cannot depend on an invisible for for everything if you don't put your effort into alternative methods as well. In addition, it seems as though this "peaceful religion" is rather scaring people in a strict manner to where even the most simple things are "haram" such as drawing.

      • Shayla, are you Muslim? At first I thought your comment would share some useful information, but then it degenerated into bitter criticism of Islam. Maybe you should decide what you are doing here before commenting. What we need are people willing to offer genuine advice with compassion.

        Wael Editor

  5. Wa Alaikis Salam

    SubhanAllah Sister don't beat yourself to it we all day dream but yours is called “maladaptive daydreaming”, I don't know if it's a sin.
    I know it's been 7 years and hopefully you've gotten over it but if you haven't I will help you with some tips that will in shaa Allah help

    1.write down your fantasies(the daydream)
    Trust me that after writing it down you will feel embarrassed(and I'm not In anyway trying to mock you, I've also suffered from that, the only difference is that I don't feel depressed or cry it's just that I use to feel bad for doing it over and over again but now Alhamdulillah I've gotten over it)

    2.ask yourself why they are occuring

    3.turn it upside down, think of it the other way round, it's like a way to trick your brain you know❤️.. Maybe think of your crush humiliating you in public(you definitely wouldn't like to think of such scene sister)

    4.create a circuit breaker` for the day dream
    )I mean immediately you start to think of it do something to take your mind off it, you can read, talk to a friend, or do some activity to distract you.

    You do maladaptive daydreaming to escape reality and from doing it once shaidan now have the ability to trick you into doing it more and more again

    A sin starts from a thought, to idea, to determination(to commit the sin), to action and then habit
    It is usually hard to get rid of habit, don't beat yourself to it, put effort and trust Allah, and do remember since it's a habit it's okay to get back to it once in a while and when you do get back to it take tip no4, which is break through it.

    May Allah grant you ease and help you in getting rid of your daydream
    I hope this works.

    With love,
    Your sister in Islam.
    Assalamu Alaikum

    • Hello,

      is it really zina if she is daydreaming of marrying a guy? I do that too sometimes because it makes me feel happy when I think I have a choice of whom to marry, especially the guy I like. I know I will never be able to marry him, so daydreaming makes me happy. I imagine the life I want, the house I like, the people I know, etc My dream reality which I will never achieve, so daydreaming about it is what keeps me going. I have no hope for it in real life and my only way of getting a sense of happiness and content is through day dreaming. I tried therapy, but they just want me to accept the reality I hate in which I have no choice, will never get with the guy I like, live where I want, etc, so day dreaming is where I have control and live my fantasies out. That is Zina???

      • Asalamualaykum Himari,

        It is not zina to daydream, but acting on any haram thoughts would be zina. Try to daydream only in moderation and only as much as you need to, as it isn't productive and could lead to very distressing longings, especially if the guy is unreachable, like a movie star, famous person, etc.


        • Hello,

          What do you mean acting on it would be zina? What things would count as acting on it?

          • Asalamuaykum Sister,

            Examples of acting on your daydreams would be:

            1. Contacting the guy and having private conversations through messaging or phone calls

            2. Spending time with the guy in person, privately

            3. Living out your fantasies in real life.

            If you find yourself unable to stop daydreaming about the guy, then ask Allah to allow your marriage to him through the proper channels in a halal way.


          • Thank you for replying!

            Alhamdulil'allah, my deen is way important to me than my feelings and a guy. I avoid getting into contact with him and keep my distance at all times. I would never approach him in a non-halal way. Insha'allah I will find a solution to this soon.

          • Himari,

            No problem Sister. Best to you! 🙂


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