Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Depressed and ashamed by my actions

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About 7 to 8 years ago when I was about 6 years old I had a home teacher who used to have sex with me (many times) and I told him I don't like it but he carried on. I didn't tell my family. I wanted to check it so I did it with my younger brother and sister. My younger sister was hardly 1 year and my brother was approximately 3 years.

My home teacher said that doing this with siblings is not good but due to my bad luck I carried on it. Now I feel ashamed and wish to die. I cry on regularly. I wish that it could not happen. I can't do anything due to guilt and ask Allah's forgiveness but I think that I don't deserve it. What should i do and plz advice me that should i tell it to my family? I want Allah's forgiveness

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2 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    What this teacher did to you was wrong. No person has the right to force another to have sex, and he was meant to look after you, not hurt you. He alone bears the responsibility for what happened then - you were a young child.

    Sometimes when things like this happen, a person can struggle to understand what happened and why, and sometimes that can mean they do similar things to other people, as part of trying to understand what these actions and feelings might have meant. Now that you know that it is wrong to do this, it's important to stop doing this and take action to make sure this doesn't happen again. Once a person knows that something is wrong, they have a responsibility to do the right thing.

    Speak to your mum or dad (unless this would be dangerous for you). This is likely to be a difficult conversation, but it's an important one to have - once they know, they can help you and your siblings get the help you need. Tell them what this teacher did to you, how upset you were, and how this is still distressing you. If it would be dangerous for you to tell your parents, go to a trusted teacher or your family doctor and talk to them. They can then help, inshaAllah.

    If you are still doing these things to your siblings, stop right away. If you don't feel able to stop, then you need to tell a trusted adult about that, so that they can help you keep your siblings safe and get you the help you need to heal.

    There are a lot of services available to help young people who have gone through situations like yours - you and your siblings might find that counselling and family support can help you all come through this.

    Remember that Allah loves us all; turn to Him and repent, and trust in His Mercy.

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. If you were my child I would want to know and I would support you 100%. You did nothing wrong you knew nothing you were a child. Whereas he was an adult no one deserves to go through this alone. STOP what you doing with your brother and sister do not allow this sin to ruin you and your family. You have nothing to be ashamed of but continuing this sin on knowing it is wrong is also wrong. Don't allow history to be repeated on others just because what this man did to you. Learn from it and it may be better for you to go counseling to open up to someone you may trust.

    Please go tell your parents and get the police involved. This man needs locking up there's no excuse for this behavior.

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