Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Depressed and close to suicide over relationship breakup

Blue sky and sun ays

Dear Brothers and Sisters ,

I terribly need your help. I have lost all hope . I am very close to killing myself. Please help me.  I was in love with this girl but now we've have split apart because things were not looking like they would work out. But it hurts me too much.

What do I do??? I can't live without her.

I agree that during our relationship we did things which were haraam and I am very regretful about that. But now I am lost. I cannot go on. I feel like killing myself is the only option left. It is too much pain to go through everyday like this. I have no option left. I am helpless . The pain is just too much. The guilt, the sorrow, the sadness, the loneliness. It is all too much to handle.

Maybe a kind word or two by a good soul here could help me stay alive. I can feel like it. I won't last much longer. Please help me.

- yukiyukio

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5 Responses »

  1. assalamalikum-
    Pl go through this and you will understand the crime of suicide-
    For us is to worship and the provision is from Him…
    He created us with such care and attention for a noble purpose and assured us that He will sustain and look after each and every need. He informs in the Quran, (its translation) “I did not create the Jinn or the human except that they worship me; I do not want any provision from them (neither for themselves nor for any creatures) nor do I seek that they should feed Me (i.e. provide for whom I provide). Verily, Allah He is the Provider (of all), possessor of Power, the Most Strong.” [Surah Dhariyat 51:56-58]
    Why the trials and hardship…
    Thus Allah took the responsibility of providing for and looking after all affairs of each and every individual and reassured He is the One fully capable of that. Our concern is not to be anxious even in the most trying circumstance for Allah promised to provide a way out; rather our concern is to worship Him by living a life of obedience to Him and excellence in every walk of life. Any hardship faced is no more than a trial to prove that our only concern is the approval of our actions by Allah before anyone else in the community and even before our own pleasure. Allah promised in the Quran, “Alif, Lam, Mim, do people think that they will be left alone on (merely) saying: ‘We believe,’ and not be tested (in their claims)? We have indeed tested those who were before them; and Allah will certainly make it known those who were truthful and He will certainly make known the liars.” [Surah Ankabut 29:1-2]

  2. Assalamu alaykum, my brother.

    You can live without her. You CANNOT live without Allah, who is your sustainer.
    When you cross into the haram, Shaytan wraps his fingers around your heart and uses it to put a wedge between you and Allah. You must turn to Allah with firm resolve to to venture into the haraam again. He will help you. But that does not mean you will not hurt. You must live with the consequences of your actions. But He will give you strength (2:286).

    May Allah sustain you through this pain. Use this lesson to be a better man in the future.

    ~your brother

  3. Salamu'alaik,

    Brother, decide if you want eternal life in the Hell fire, wherein you will keep killing yourself again and again forever, or you want to live beneath the shade of the throne of The Most Merciful?

    If you kill yourself with a sharp weapon, you will keep doing the same thing forever in the hell fire. If you throw yourself from a mountain, you will keep doing the same thing forever in the Hell fire.

    You have spent your life as her slave and not the slave of Allah. I say this, because I understand the intensity of your love. When one loves a lady so much, he becomes enslaved to her such that he can not live without her.

    What you need to do now is shift from being her slave to the servant of Allah Subhaanah. You have committed innumerable sins in your life. But if you do tawbah/repentance, then Allah will insha Allah forgive all your sins and you will become free insha Allah. Then you can begin as a Righteous Muslim, Remembering Allah at all times with various Du'as, listening to the 'ulama about the matters or 'Aqeedah, Manhaj and the other matters and so on (you can consider websites such as and and being in the company of the righteous men, who will help you be and stay on Siraat al Mustaqeem.

    When you are stable, get married to a Righteous Muslimah, and insha Allah you will find tranquility
    May Allah Guide you and keep you steadfast on His Deen
    Muhammad Waseem

  4. He prohibited the destroying of ones life in any manner as understood by the general meaning of the wording of this verse, “And do not throw (yourselves) with your own hands to destruction; but work (deeds of) excellence for verily Allah loves the people of excellence.” [Surah Baqarah 2:195]

    Thus we are ordered to not destroy ourselves rather to direct the mind and energies to doing good deeds that please Allah. In another verse, “And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allaah is Most merciful to you.” [Surah Nisaa 4:29]

    In fact the taking of even one life is regarded as the taking of the life of the whole of mankind, “Whoever kills a soul – unless for another soul or for corruption (vice and mischief spread) in the land – it is as if he had slain the whole of mankind. And whoever saves one – it is as if he had saved the whole of mankind.”
    [Surah Maidah 5:32]
    The noun, soul (nafs) in the verse is without the definite particle. In Arabic, an indefinite noun in a conditional clause gives the meaning of generality and comprehensiveness. Thus, the verse is not only concerning the taking of a soul of another person but even ones own life for both are souls created and entrusted to us by Allah. This is not only prohibited but strongly condemned as though he killed the whole of mankind.

    The Messenger of Allah (May the peace and blessings be on him) also prohibited it as learnt from the following hadith. "Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself, he will be in the Fire of Hell throwing himself down for ever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will have the poison in his hand, drinking it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron (i.e. a weapon) will have that piece of iron in his hand, stabbing himself in the stomach with it in the Fire of Hell forever and ever." (Compiled in Sahih Bukhari).

  5. Please also see our page on Suicide in Islam.

    The pain you are experiencing now is temporary. It may not seem like it, but it will pass in time, even if it takes a year or two. You will be happy again, you will live your life and find joy and love. Do not take a permanent action (suicide) over a temporary situation.

    Wael Editor

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