Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Depressed and confused about this relationship

Ashamed woman, sad woman, depressed woman

Assalamualaikum,

4 years ago when I was 17 I got married without my parents permission, I did not have any idea about marriage. I got married because of staying away from sin. Before marriage all the time he forced me for physical relation, unconsciously one day it's happened, after that I understood what I have done.. till now I can't accept him from heart.. I tried to stay away from him..sometimes he threatens me that he will spread everything.. sometimes he showed that he will die.. he can't live without me..

But now I suffering from a major depression. I can't continue my study.

Now I can't bear it any more. I want to back in my Islamic life.

Was that true nikah?

What should I do now? Is it right to continue that relation hiding from my father? I can't say anything about this to my father.

I want to get rid of this. I don't know how to make taubah for this.
Please help me.

Mrittika

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1 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    A valid nikah requires the consent of both parties, and of the bride's wali. It sounds like this guy has manipulated you into believing that you had to marry him. Forcing someone to have physical relations isn't love or respect, it's the complete opposite. A man who truly loved and respected you would never have forced you to do such things, and would have sought out your wali's permission for a halal relationship.

    If it's safe to do so, you may wish to tell your parents what has been happening. They may be angry and upset, but they will inshaAllah want to help you get out of this situation. You can then all work together to resolve this confusion - if the nikah is invalid, then they can help you walk away. You don't have to do this alone.

    If you feel that telling your parents could put you at risk of harm, then there are other options - you may be able to access help through your doctor or college tutor, or through women's shelters or aid projects in your area.

    Before making any final decisions, pray istikhara, trust in Allah to guide you through this, and stand up for your own rights as set out in Islam.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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