Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Depressed and desperate to get married

Stressed college student

Salam aleykum, i am a brother from denmark and is 20, since i was little i alway wanted to get married, subhanallah i have been talking with girls before and i feel like allah removed them all from me and i dont really understand, i feel desperate to marry and i am now doing it in a halal way, it feels impossible, in a islamic way, i tried dating sites and asking friends with no luck, my mom doesn't know any here because we are only 1 family in this country and my mom is sick so she doesn't know any.

I feel like allah is testing me, but wallahi it is too much burden for me it feels soo heavy idk how, everywhere i see in my country there is fitna, half naked women in bus-stop, metro, shops, everywhere and people walking half naked, my friends do party and stuffs but i avoid these places, still hard, alhamdullilah i never did zina or had a girlfriend

I think i miss love, i had a rough childhood and, i wanna make half of my deen done and be a better muslim but i need a wife for that... I always do dua to find a spouse but the problem is how????

I do stocks and read businesses with friends to control myself from haram but it was to much so i lost it in a period where i stopped praying and now Allah gave me balaa 2 by losing my house, my car, fired from work, lost friends because of my ego wish came from business that i want more and more, and i believe it was because this dunya took me

Sorry for my bad english salam.


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Asalaam Walailum Brother.

    The solution is easy and hard at the same time. Try this and you will find such peace im your life and Insha'Allah it will all work out. For starters start praying Salah and pray as much in the Masjid in congregation ... This will strengthen your imaan but also lift your motivation and morale.

    Look at it as a blessing you never had a wife in the aspect of imagine being in a relationship and having to go through such difficulty ... It would have put such a strain on your marriage esp if your are feeling down.

    Turn to Allah as you are in great need and I promise you that you will feel such peace and ease. There is always a reason something happens in our life, these bad points in your life could be the BIGGEST blessings as it may be the reason you become closer to Allah SWT.

    Also speak to your Local Imam that you are looking for a wife also once you get to know brothers at the masjid you can ask around but ideally you need to be in a good state before marriage so strengthen yourself first and then pursue marrage and Insha'Allah it will happen.

    May Allah make it easy on you my Brother.

  2. Bismillah al rahman al raheem,

    As salam alaykum brother,

    You are 20 years old, so you are relatively still young inshallah.
    You now need to build your personality, your career and your deen.
    You need to find good friends that will support you in getting married.

    If you are only 20 and feeling depressed and desperate, and you are not in control of your ego. And you do not have a steady job, then you might not actually be ready to get married.

    Getting married is not only about having sex and fulfilling your desires, it is about having a companion for life, about supporting each-other mentally and physically, it is about starting a family and having children.
    It is about becoming responsible for you and for your new wife and family you will start.

    I do think you should get married as soon as possible, but you should do it in the right way and you should ask and find out how to prepare yourself for marriage.

    Because many people got married and then divorced within a few months or 1 or 2 years, and some even have a child, which will now grow up in a broken home.

  3. SALAM.EVERYTHING THAT I'M GOING TO SAY IS NOT OF MY OWN WORDS OR KNOWLEDGE. My upbringing around scholors and now married to one gave me a good understanding and still does on how Allah works for he is the wise and most knowledgeable.Timing is everything.But on the other hand we have to look at ourselves first. In reading your info I can easily read you.Your Iman is very unstable and it needs to be fixed.Iman is a very precious gift from Allah and when person realizes this value of Iman he will never disobey Allah in anyway.We call this taqwa. SALAT is not an option it is a command and we must learn how to pray Salah correctly with all its rules and conditions.SALAT has to many virtues to list .Nevertheless SALAT is the connection between a slave and his master.The sahabas use to solve all there problems through Salah. My friend salah is a key to paradise and will be the first thing asked on the day of judgement.Not to mention the punishment of the grave.You must learn to perfect this and know the prerequisitestatus. BUT then we have to say to ourselves am I reading quran daily . DO I WATCH WHAT I EAT AND DRINK OR SMOKE? AM I INVOLVED WITH INTEREST .MOST OF ALL DO I TALK OR LOOK AT ANY FEMALE IN PUBLIC OR INTERNET.THESE WILL ALL EFFECT THE HEART. THE HEART IS LIKE A BIG MIRROR.IF IT'S DIRTY IT DOESN'T REFLECT. THE PROBLEM TODAY IS THAT EVERYBODY IS LOOKING FOR SUCCESS PEACE SECURITY AND SO BECAUSE OF THE EFFORT MADE BY SHAITAN PEOPLE'S VIEWS ARE SO FAR FROM WHAT PROPHET MUHAMMAD BROUGHT TO US.FINALLY I CAN SAY NOW AS YOUNG AS YOU ARE AND NOT MATURED YET...ISLAMICALLY WE ARE TALKING. MARRIAGE IS ANOTHER BIG TEST.JUST LOOK STATISTICALLY THE DIVORCE RATE IN THE WORLD. LOOK AT PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE...SO TO GET MARRIED AND SATISFY YOUR FRIEND IS A DESIRE AND THAT REALLY RUNS OUT WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED BECAUSE IT IS NOT THE PURPOSE.My teacher would say not too much for it will remove the noor from your face? Hmm .So sex is really for bringing more pious muslims into this world but unfortunately it is the very opposite. ..My friend I got married at age 31 .Although my wife was 20 and just finished the Alima program. I did at a point said how and when will I get married? But this is a test of Iman and Allah wants the best for his true believers.Regardless Allah knows best for you.I believe this message should assess your life your future your friends and the environment you want to be.The best place to start is go to the mosque daily . ATTEND lectures or participate with the tabligh Jamaat. ALL OF THIS IS GOOD AND IT WILL KEEP YOU WITHIN ALLAH'S PROTECTION...BE CAREFUL OF WEAK PEOPLE FOR SHAITAN RUNS THROUGH THEM REGARDLESS HOW INTELLIGENT RICH OR COOL HE THINKS.THE TRUTH ALLAH CONTROLS EVERYTHING AND CAN TAKE THAT FROM A PERSON IN A BLINK OF AN EYE.PEACE OUT FROM N.AMERICA

Leave a Response