Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I Committed Sins and I Hate My Life


Dear Wael,

This may be very weird, because I have never told this to anyone before, but I feel very depressed. As a Muslim I know killing myself is the biggest sin a person can commit, but I feel like hurting myself. I am 20 years old female and I hate my life...

I need help, advice.. I've sinned a lot, maybe thats why I feel this way. Alhumdulillah I don't drink and never will, no clubbing, no drugs, but I've had boyfriends that I went too far with. I'm a wreck, a shame to society. How can I get to the right path. Wondering if you may help me?

- Sister F. from England

Wael's Answer:

Dear Sister F., As-Salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

First, Consult a Professional

As a sister pointed out in the comments below:

"One of the leading causes of suicide is from untreated and undiagnosed clinical mental illness. If you are depressed, and are truly suicidal, you should consult a psychiatrist or a primary care physician as soon as possible."

So the first thing you should do is see your doctor and talk about the feelings you are having. Your doctor can refer you to someone who can help you deal with these feelings in an appropriate way. If you are clinically depressed, meaning there is something wrong with your brain chemistry that is causing your depression, there may be a medication that can make a huge difference for you. There's nothing wrong or shameful about this, any more than it would be if it were medication for a heart condition.

You are unique and precious

Now I want to talk about suicide from a religious perspective. Why do I get emails from young Muslims who talk about killing themselves? Where does this come from? I find this very frustrating, and I'm angry, not at these young brothers and sisters, but that our young Muslims today are being put in such difficult positions that they begin to harbor such thoughts.

To you young people who are experiencing difficulty in your lives, try to be strong and remind yourselves of all the wonderful things in life. You must know that your life has meaning and purpose. Allah put you here on this earth for a reason. You are a unique person, the only one of your kind in the universe, and as such you are a treasure. Just as Allah created the stars, the oceans, and the majestic trees, He created you. And in fact you dwarf them, because you are a creature of complexity and free will.

Life is short enough

Life is short enough already.. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said that he was in this world like a rider who stopped to rest in the shade of a tree, then went on and left it behind.

We are like the flowers that bloom when the spring rain falls, then die. Our lives are that short, that quickly over. How many thousands of generations have passed before us, and where are they now?

With life so short, it is precious. It's a chance to please Allah and do good deeds, and earn our spot in Jannah, Insha'Allah. No need to end our own lives and speed our way to the punishment of Hell. It's better to do whatever we have to do in order to change our lives. Even if we have to make drastic changes, isn't it better to live, and see another sunrise, and have hope?

Suicide is not our way

Remember, we are Muslims, we do not kill ourselves! That is not our way.

Suicide is the way of some kuffar who have nothing to turn to in this life, and nothing to look forward to in the aakhirah (the hereafter). They are people who have built their lives on foundations of empty consumerism, mounting debt, drugs and alchohol, and other things that have no substance and do not comfort the soul.

We Muslims have the mercy and forgiveness of Allah on the one hand - Allah is always ready to forgive His repenting servants - and we have the awareness of Jannah and Jahannam (Paradise and Hell) on the other hand.

I am getting these types of questions with too much frequency, and it indicates a fundamental lack of understanding among our young people about how to solve life problems, and about the nature of their relationships with Allah.

Tools for Changing Our Lives

In Islam we have many wonderful tools for changing our lives and renewing our commitment to faith. We have Tawbah (repentance) that can be performed anytime; the daily cleansing of Salat; the powerful purification of Ramadan; the good feeling and reward that comes from giving Zakat and Sadaqah (charity) to those who are less fortunate; and the life-changing spiritual renewal of the Hajj.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does not restrict His interaction with humanity to making rules and punishing sinners. Allah is there at any time to hear our prayers, to offer us forgiveness and guidance, and to help us. When we have problems in life, we must turn to Allah and seek solace. Allah will help us and give us the strength and peace we need.

8-Point Plan for Change

So Sister F., I have gone on for several paragraphs without addressing your question specifically, but I hope you have understood that before anything else, you must put this idea of suicide out of your head. That is not our way as Muslims. We have many resources and solutions to our problems.

I will lay out a specific plan for you to follow in order to refresh your heart and renew your faith:

1. Tawbah. Yes, you have committed sins, just like every single human being on the face of the earth, except for the Prophets and Messengers. But we Muslims have a great gift, which is that we can cleanse ourselves through Tawbah. You must stop committing the sin right away, ask Allah for forgiveness, and resolve firmly not to do it again.

2. Salat and Dua'. Start doing your salat. If you can't manage five times a day, do as many as you can. If you don't know how to do the salat, get a religious sister to teach you. Don't worry right now about learning every aspect of Islam. Just focus on salat. Imagine that Allah is in front of you, and ask Him for forgiveness. Remember that the salat is a river in which you bathe five times every day, and it washes away your sins.

Share your burdens with Allah. Ask Him to help you and make your life easier. The Quran says, "Whoever is conscious of Allah, Allah makes for him a way out, and provides for him from a direction he does not expect." Allah can help you solve your problems and find your way to a better life.

3. Ramadan. Start getting yourself ready mentally and spiritually for Ramadan. It's never more than 11 months away, and never too early to begin preparing for it. Think of it as an opportunity to cleanse your soul and strengthen your spirit. Make a plan to spend your Ramadan as much as possible around people of strong faith who will support you.

4. Change Your Self-Image. You wrote, "I'm a wreck, a shame to society, I hate my life..." To change your life, you must change the way you think about yourself. When you tell yourself that you are a mess, a shame, etc, you are creating a destructive self-image that stops you from changing.

Try this: anytime you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, I want you to push the negative thoughts away and instead repeat these self-affirmations (write them down if necessary and carry them with you). I made up these affirmations based on Islamic principles. I have used them in the past for myself, and I have found them to be very effective:

  1. I am a Muslim. Islam is my faith and my cherished way of life. I choose Islam because it is beautiful and true. (You can also say the shahadah here).
  2. I am a believer in Allah (a mu'min). Allah is my guide and the One in whom I trust. (At this point you can praise Allah further and ask Him for strength and guidance).
  3. I am a good and worthwhile person. I have many good qualities, ma-sha-Allah. (At this point, name some of your good qualities).
  4. I have the power to change my life for the better, with Allah's help.
  5. I thank Allah for all the blessings in my life. (At this point, name some of the blessings in your life and thank Allah for each one).

Say these affirmations out loud at least once every day, and if you can do them twice a day (once in the morning and once at night) that's even better. Insert your name after you say "I", so for example, if you name is Fatima, you would say, "I, Fatimah, am a Muslim." Same for all the other points. Say them out loud, and mention your name.

Regarding point number three, some people might say, "But I have no good qualities." That's nonsense. Everyone has good qualities. Maybe you're a loyal friend, maybe you're kind to animals, maybe you're a good cook or a good writer. The point is to always find something good to say about yourself.

Regarding point number five, the blessings that you name in your life could be big or small: good health, food to eat, the sunshine on your face, and of course Islam itself is the biggest blessing of all.

Perhaps this sounds like some kind of charm, but it's not. It's a way of changing your self-image by programming your subconscious with the beliefs that you want to have about yourself.

5. Change your Friends. This is important. You have to stop hanging around the men that you knew previously. You must cut off all contact with them and stop having men as friends and companions in any way. Even if you are not intimate with them, the problem is that one thing can lead to another. And if you have female friends who have boyfriends, stop hanging out with them as well.

If you know any sisters who are religious and supportive, get to know them and spend your time with them as much as possible. It will be difficult to change your life if you are still surrounded by people who live a sinful lifestyle.

6. Counseling. You need to see a counselor or therapist and talk out some of the feelings you are having. This will help you. If you are a student try your student health clinic, they always have a counselor on staff. If you are not a student you can try your public health clinic. If you can find a Muslim counselor, that would be great. You're in the U.K. and I think there are a lot of certified Muslim counselors there. But a non-Muslim would be ok also.

7. Find Something that Gives You Joy

You must find something that gives you joy and pleasure in life, and devote yourself to it. Get out of the house and become part of something. If you don't have a job, then do volunteer work. The writer of one of our sister sites,, has been volunteering at a local hospital for years and she finds it very rewarding.

Get involved in a sport, or start a blog, take some college classes, or write poetry. There must be something good and halal in life that gives you pleasure. Find that thing and amplify it.

8. Medication if Necessary. I'm hesitant to add this point, because I think people in the West rely far too often on medication as a way to address problems that are actually spiritual in nature. For Sister F., if your depression is something that you've experienced only recently as a result of your life choices, then the previous six points will be enough for you and you do not need any medication.

However, if your depression has been a long-term thing (months or years), and doesn't seem related to your life circumstances, then it's possible that you are clinically depressed and you may benefit from a depression medication. Your counselor or physician should be qualified to assess this and refer you to someone if necessary.

And Allah knows best.

If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.

"(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray."

Best regards,

- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator Islamic Marriage Advice
ZAWAJ.COM Muslim Matrimonials and More!

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26 Responses »

  1. Salaam'Alaikum

    One of the leading causes of suicide is from untreated and undiagnosed clinical mental illness.

    If you are depressed, and are truly suicidal, you should consult a psychiatrist or a primary care physician as soon as possible.

    The majority of people who are suicidal are clinically depressed and require medication to function normally, and stabilize themselves. They lack the ability to control these types of thoughts becuase their thinking is distorted. The filter through which they view the world is flawed becuase of a chemical imbalance.

    Faith may not always be enough for people are clinically depressed. This can actually become dangerous becuase they are bound to feel they have failed or are unloved by Allah which reinforces their depression.

    Seek professional help.

  2. RealDealMuslimah, you have made an important point. It was thoughtless of me not to consider the possibility of mental illnesss or clinical depression. I will keep in mind this possibility in the future Insha'Allah. I will go back and insert this advice into the original article itself, because some people who need this advice may not read these comments. Jazak Allah khayr for your contribution.

  3. Al Salam Alaykom
    Dear sister i am a 21 years old Mulimah tow.And i sinned alot, i know exactly what you are going through.
    And i ve been thinking about this.Well Allah sobhanahouwa taala, is the creator of everything.He also created time.Present time the future and the past.if you consider this creation of Allah SwT you will see that there is a big moral in the fact that no one can ever re-make the past.while we can allways maake plans for the future,inshallah.
    Now what is done is allready done.You may feel the urge to erase all of your history.You can.when you believe.Allah is capable of fixing all these things.think about your future, and try to be effective.give advises to people of your community, prevent them from being where you once were.Learn Hadiths, learn Coran, so that you become able to give full convincing informations,have a full scheduel and surround yourself with people, who are interested in knowing a new Good person.
    I advise you not to share your past life stories with anyone who might be not trust worthy. because there are persons who will remind you of it every once and a while.
    You are now too ashamed to face the present.
    Make things that will make our Prophet Mohamad inshallah proud of you.
    I will pray for you inshallah.pray for me too 🙂

  4. I hate myself to i cant change wat i did in the past im a disgrace to myself dammit y did i have to do wat i did.but i know i now that was very weak and my mistakes and experiances made me strong it made me totally devoted to Allah i started with crying then dua then salaah then quraan now i live a sad life but i say to myself everythn is from Allah if he wantd 2 make me happy he can but u c he dnt want he want me 2 live this sad life and if he wants it i wil accept it wit my broken heart i wil sacrifice my other happines for him.he is ALLAH he comes first in my life he is my joy my ease he knows wat he does and y he does and he is most merciful not cruel.

  5. Assalaamualaikum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakat

    Dear Sister F,

    I have read your post with lots of empathy. I am happy to see that you regret what you have done and want to return on the right path. You might not believe me but this is the first step towards the path to healing and being blessed by Allah's mercy. I do not know how your life has evolved during the past two years but Insha Allah I am sure that you feel much better now and that you no longer have the suicidal thoughts.

    I too have been in an experience quite similar to yours. I had no support from my family and Allah was my only solace and the one to whom I turned to, which was a blessing in itself. I too had suicidal thoughts but then was too afraid of dying while not being forgiven for my sins. I cried and prayed a lot and somehow Allah has given me the courage to go through this period of my life and to feel better. Ramadhan is really a blessed month and reading the Quran has been very soothing to my soul. Years passed and for a very long time I lived with the guilt of having transgressed the laws of Allah. It is true that people sin but we must never forget that Allah is here for us and will accept our duas and sincere repentance and show us His mercy.

    For a very long time, I couldn't believe that Allah can forgive me and this made me even sadder but then when I reflect on it, by having such thoughts I am contradicting the Quran where Allah has said in numerous places that we should ask for forgiveness and he forgives whom He will. A person should always make sincere repentance when he realises that he has committed a sin and promise never to return to this sin.

    One day I realised that Allah has blessed me in an extraordinary way, one which is really unimaginable. I was so happy and also will never be able to thank Him enough for it. What I want to show you is that all is possible with Allah's will and He does what He wants. The only success formula is to believe in the power of Allah and to be convinced that Allah never abandons a sincere repenter. Duas are a powerful tool and it is so easy to use. You can ask duas anytime not only when you perform salaat. And above all we have to be grateful and give thanks for all the blessings that Allah has given us. You can read Surah Ar-Rahman to make you become thankful for the blessings of the Lord.

    Sister I have also found that when you read about people who are in a worse condition than you, it makes you less focused on your problems and actually makes you realise that whatever you are enduring is nothing compared to what other people are. This will make you want to ask dua for these persons and to thank Allah that He has given you a less painful ordeal.

    I hope that my story and these advices will be helpful to you. May Allah make you among the dwellers of Jannat Insha Allah. I will remember you in my duas.

    Please pray for me.

    May Allah help you and be with you always.

  6. Salaams, I am going through the same feelings as Myrah. Although Alhamdulillah, I don't have any suicidal thoughts as death is one of my biggest fears. I can't seem to look past the sins I have committed and I can't seem to forgive myself for them for I am so heavily ashamed of all the sins I have committed. I don't know how Allah (s.w.t.) will ever forgive me. I find I have started to pray alot and ask for forgiveness too but someitmes I still feel that the connection is weak for most of the time I pray due to intense fear.

    I can't seem to get over thoughts of death and the azaabs. It is causing me too much distress and agony.

    It is weaking my selfesteem and confidence.

    I can't seem to face myself.

    Please help me.

  7. The biggest thing lacking in my life is friendship and support. I do have wonderful support from my parents alhamdulillah but they are aging and I can't burden them with anymore grief. It hurts them to see me so sad and crying and fearful. I try so hard to be strong but I can't seem to find the courage.

    Everyday at Maghrib time I feel very depressed and sad. I cry and my mum tells me its not good to cry at maghrib. Its a bad omen. Now I am even more scared.

    I have thoughts of death all the time. Even while sleeping. I can't seem to see Allah(s.w.t.) mercy due to this fear. I keep telling myself to look beyond that and not to doubt or lose hope but I don't know how to help myself anymore.

    I don't know where to find positive people in my community that I can be around. I don't know where to find new friends, good friends or faithful friends and that is make me worse.

    • Take every thing one day at a time. When you wake up think about all the opportunities you will have throughout the day to put a smile on someone elses face. Hold the door open for someone, say good morning to your neighbors. Doing random acts of kindness will make you feel better about yourself, and you will be happier. At the end of the day reflect on the good parts of the day. Look up places to volunteer in your community, maybe in a hospital or community center. You will meet other people who give of their time to help others, and maybe will become their friends. I definitely recommended it, because you are helping others, and making friends all at the same time.

      When you start to have fear, ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen, and have faith in yourself that no matter how awful the obstacle, you have the gifts to overcome it no matter what it is, and when you do you will be stronger in the end. No matter what YOU can do it.

      I sometimes feel like i have no one on this planet. My parents are also older, and in addition to that i have no other family besides my mom and dad. And yes its the scariest, and saddest thought to be alone, but you have to remember that you are never alone. No matter what Allah is always there even at the worst times, he is always always there, and will never leave you.

      I once felt like i had no one to turn to, but in truth i did. I called my friends when i needed someone the most, and most were there for me, but some were not. Call your friends for help, you will be surprised to see who helps you, or even call someone just to talk. those that are your true friends will be there and those that don't you are better off without.

    • Assalam aleikum. May Allah help you. You must be suffering from panic attacks and depression. When you start suffering make circle movements, left-right waving movements with your eyes. It is better to Ask someone to help you by waving left right or making circle like movements with his fingers before your eyes within a distance of 25 - 100 cms (depending on comfort to your eyes). Let your eyes move 30 seconds and have little break then continue. Do it till you feel better. Ask him to read from Quran during those movements. You will get ease in sha Allah. Doing that regularly you will get rid of your inner sufferings totally. It is important to concentrate first on bad thoughts then on feelings in the body during the session. The method is called EMDR. Very effective and helpful when added with listening to the Quran.

  8. sister s the bro n sis are willin to be ur friend so have no fear. what ever is botherin you im willin to listen to ur probs, so feel free 🙂

  9. SisterS, Be happy that Allah has choosen for you to be a muslim, and know that no matter what you are going through, and I mean no matter what!!! that Allah is always there for you, just believe in him and hope in him.

    May Allah(SWT) bless you for your patience and courage sister!

  10. I too have these problems. I've commited great sins (like lying to my parents and having sex. Yes, I'm that evil). When I ask forgiveness to Allah I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I remember Allah, because He's all I got now. I feel like I've lost my soul, I trade it for a wish. My wish was I would find love, but I only found sorrow, regret, sins and pain. I know now the purpose of life is not finding love. The purpose of life is this:
    "Verily, my prayers, my sacrifice, my life, and my death are for Allah, the Lord of All the Worlds." (Qur'an 6:162)

    I find comfort in these beautiful aya's:

    “And never give up hope of Allah's Mercy. Certainly, no one despairs of Allah's Mercy, except the people who disbelieve.” Quran (12:87)

    "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." Quran (39:53)

    If we are truly believers, we mustn't lose hope. (a reminder to myself first & foremost)

    And always remember Allah loves to forgive us:

    The prophet (may peace be upon him) said: "If you were not to commit sins, Allah would have swept you out of existence and would have replaced you by another people who have committed sin, and then asked forgiveness from Allah, and He would have granted them pardon. " Sahih Muslim, Book 37, number 6621 and 6622.

    Allah has even decreed for Himself He would rather forgive than punish us:

    The prophet (may peace be upon him) said: "When Allah created the creation, He ordained for Himself and this document is with Him: Verily, My Mercy predominates My Wrath." Sahih Muslim, Book 37, number 6628.

    The problems I'm facing now is that I can't forgive myself for all the bad things did. I know Allah will forgive me if I'm sincere in my repentance, but I can't get over the fact that I've been this stupid. I will get over this, with the help of Allah incha'Allah.
    Alhamdulilah, we are muslim and we know our "Lord is the Forgiving and the Loving." Quran (85:14)

    • I also want to say: always believe in te power of du'a.

      Salmaan al-Faarsee narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said:
      "Nothing repels Divine Decree except du'â, and nothing increases one's life-span except good deeds." [Authentic, reported by at-Tirmidhee and al-Haakim from Salmaan, and is in Sahîh al-Jâmi' #7687]

      So, the only way that we can repel some Divine Decree is through the means of du'a. Always do your supplications.

  11. If only we were living under shari'a law, none of these would've happened what I just read. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon .... Pray to Allah for the future to be under shari'a law insha'Allah.

  12. Salam
    I have a very bad attitude that I found weared I am always concious of my actions after I have committed them and they make me sad and remember allah more...I think am not a good muslim.
    I need help

  13. sister nadheerah i don't think Allah wants you to be sad, because Allah says inQuran He desires ease for us not harship but that could be referring to the next life i'm not sure
    ask A scholar like:
    Sheikh Abd al Razzaaq ibn Abdul Muhsin Al Abbaad
    Sheikh Saalih Al Maghaamsi
    Sheikh Muhammad Al Luhaidan
    Sheikh Habib Ali Jifri
    Sheikh Habib Omar

    find out from them they are good sheikhs ma sha Allah and knowledgable, and Allah knows best

  14. sister Anonymous sister who said she had sx, ask Allah for forgiveness, and change your ways, and inshallah Allah will forgive you, and maybe he took away his favour from you so that you would change and return to the path of goodness, because if you did not feel bad you may still do the sins
    forgive me and all muslims who repent, and heal their hearts, amin, you are the best to Heal, ya Allah
    Allahumma Salli wa sallim a3la Muhammad wa a3la aalih
    also try to contact below sheikhs

  15. I am a 17 year old female from the u.k. I am a very bad person I commit sin everyday, I drink but that isn't my biggest worry I have done somethings in life that are really stupid. I have caused my old parents so much worry. I always am disrespectful to my mum swearing at her. I have been kicked out from loads of schools just for disruptive, aggressive and defiant behavior. I thought I had outgrown all of that kind of behavior but I guess not. I met some cool mates at college, friends you could just chill with, they drink and smoke too but there attitude was okay. So as a stupid idiot that I am at college I thought it would be really fun to spray graffiti all over the girls toilets which me and my mates did. Today me and my other mate got suspended from college. I thought of killing myself that is how bad it was. I have been kicked out of schools before but this was much much worse, I could feel it. I wanted to own up so bad but I am gutless and a bully so I chickened out like usual. I am so sorry and regretful that I did it. I hate myself, really really do. They said a would get a letter through the post soon and they would have a full investigation into the incident. It was me I did it I am a f****** b**** I am!! I am crying whilst writing this, I haven't slept or ate. What am I going to say to my mum and dad, they have always done what they can to help me and they actually believed in me at this college but I have messed everything up I have!! The college said I would have a meeting with the principal and she would decide what is going to happen. We lied and said we didn't do it but we did I regret it so much. Please I need a dua or something to help me I am turning to god please help me !!!!

    • Mooooon,

      Salam young sister. I am very sad to read your post. More than anything it is sad to see that you feel hatred towards yourself. First of all, let me just say that I am a convert to Islam in the US. I am 39. I only found Islam fairly recently in life. When I was your age I was in trouble too. I did many bad things, committed many crimes, disrespected my parents to no end, and felt no remorse. I was so selfish, and never considered how my actions were affecting others, and for some things I still feel remorse very strongly, even all of these long years later. So I can relate to the way you are feeling.
      Although I do feel bad for some things that I did in those days, I realize now that I did not really have complete control of myself. I was a troubled young person, and it really sounds like you are too. It was not really the fault of my parents, although my father was abusive when I was young. The point is that my actions were the result of my unhappiness and seep seated emotional problems. At the time I was too tough and cool to admit that "emotional problems" were an issue. Years later, I can see how ridiculous, and how wrong that attitude was! Had there been someone in my life to help me come to that realization things could have been so much different for me!
      You, on the other hand are still young! I know it seems bad right now, maybe even hopeless. The fact that you feel so much shame (and I really believe that you do.) means that these thoughtless actions did not come from your heart, and must not be the result of who you really are. This may not make you feel any better, but it does mean that there is certainly hope that you can change your ways and lead a better life. I too have been in situations when it just seemed that I had gone too far, that I had crossed a final line and that there was no way back. If I had been a Muslim then, I would have understood that we are never condemned from the love of Allah if we repent our sins with a sincere intention from our heart. So as a Muslim you have hope, insha Allah, and part of imaan is believing that. With regard to your family, especially your folks, well, that is a very difficult thing.
      Our obligations to our parents are very serious, there is no denying that. One advantage that you have in restoring this relationship is that only Allah could love you more than your parents. They want to feel only good towards you, and their greatest sadness is probably that they cannot feel that way right now. Take the time to remember them in duah, and keep in mind that a parent can access an ocean of forgiveness when it comes to their child. You have only to turn yourself around in a decisive and consistent way. Engaging your faith more fully is one thing that will almost surely show them that you are more serious about your life. As I said, I know it seems like an impossible situation, but can you imagine how many parents have had children make serious mistakes in theor youth, and then go on to have fulfilling and loving relationships with their families after all? Believe me, it happens enough. 🙂 Regrets are like physical wounds, they can hurt a lot, but they will always hurt less with time, so pray for your patience too, as well as that of your folks. Their anger with you is much like your regrets, it will ease with passing time.
      Finally, I would strongly urge the following: I have mentioned getting involved with your faith, going to masjid, making salat, etc. All of that will help you to start thinking about what is really important. It is not always easy or appropriate, however, to discuss these kinds of serious issues in that context. This is why you really, really, really, should try to get access to a personal counselor, a psychologist, someone who is trained to help you with emotional problems. There has to be something that is hurting you to cause you to disregard your family and yourself. Those kinds of things are REALLY difficult to just work through on your own. You need to talk with someone who will listen, take you seriously and not judge. This will also be another step towards showing your parents that you really want to do better and make amends towards them by taking better care of yourself. Drinking, vandalism, etc., those kinds of things are generally not the acts of a happy person. BE good to yourself, you do deserve your own forgiveness for just that reason. When you feel bad about yourself, or about your life, it is really difficult to make good decisions. Try to give yourself a break, but in the meantime, get some help. Asking for help is hard, but just asking alone will get you feeling like you are turning things around.
      I will be remembering you in my duah this morning, I know that this post is only words, but I hope that you will take some of it to heart, and not feel such despair.

      ~Brother Paul

  16. aslam aluikem
    Alahmedallah for everything in life for being who we are.I just want to say may allah help everyone who wants help in this life and to forgive the people who commited sins. I will pray to god to help every single one of u.

  17. asalaamualiekum Sir, i am indeed thankful and grateful to you for all the good information you have given to various people in the matter of grave sin done. i am being i of the great sinner of this world by sinning right form the age of 20 years till today that is 40 years (for 20 years i have sinned). i have continously done zinna and for atleast 1000 times in my 20 years of sinful life. i have asked for forgiveness several times and again committed zinna again. this has happen on several occassion. i also never prayed nammaz or not even kept roza in my life. what should i do after commiiting very very grave sins for so many years and not even praying till today. i really feel to committing sucide on several ocassion due to burden on my soul as well as not following allah;s command. are i am late in asking forgivenness considering thta above facts.please please help me by emailing me your comments. jazaakallah khair.

  18. As salaamu ^alaykum

    The worst sin is ta^Tiyl, Atheism which is disbelieving in Allah. Other types of blasphemy like liking Allah to His creation or knowingly and intentionally throwing the book of the Qur'an in the garbage or prostrating to the sun or the moon or the devil, or belying Allah or Prophet MuHammad or having the doubt in Allah or having the doubt in the reality of the Prophet or in the reality of the Qur'an or belittling or mocking a Prophet, etc. All of these things are worse than killing oneself. Be careful not to contradict the religion because of your sadness. Learn and then speak correctly and may Allah guide you always.

    Barakalaahu feekum

    wa ^alaykumus salaam,

  19. Assalamu alaykum,
    I would advise you to read the book "La Tahzan (Don't be Sad)" by Shaykh A'id al-Qarni. You can download it online or buy it in a bookshop. I would also advise you sister to look at those below you in worldly terms. Think about the one who killed 100 people yet Allah forgave him; the prostitute whom Allah forgave because she had shown kindness to a dog. Never despair of the mercy of Allah for He forgives all the sins of His servants who turn to Him sincerely.


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