Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am so much depressed, can I commit suicide?

Homosexuality is Haraam in Islam


I am so much depressed and want to end my life.

I want to tell my story of life which is not letting me to live.

In my childhood my brothers abused me. At that time I was even unable to judge the right and wrong.

Then eventually I became gay. I am so much ashamed of being gay. The word "Gay" ends my life. Every day this word kills me. I did many bad things as it is not in my control. Even my brother is married and still did the same thing in 2011 while  I was admitted in hospital. I stopped him but he continued to do and then I was eventually unable to stop him.

Now I have finally stopped him to do so.

Every day I ask for Allah's Help to bring me out from this thing. In last Ramzan, I sat in I'tikaf and prayed too much for this shameful thing but unsuccessful after few days.

Now I am fed up of this type of life. This type of life means to me like the life of an animal. I am deceiving myself, my ALLAH,  my Parents,  my friends and all of the other people in this world who thinks that I am a good, caring and religious type person.

Actually I am the worst person on the earth, who is even unable to stop him from doing wrong things although who knows what is right and wrong.

Members, Please tell me what should I do?

I have heard that in certain situations Islam has permitted to commit a suicide.

Please tell me either in this situation I can do suicide because I don't want to deceive any one more.


- Depressed

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17 Responses »

  1. Salamualaikum,

    My brother, you have been trapped by the Shaitaan. And currently, you are in his trap. But, suicide is not the way out. Suicide will lead you nowhere but to the Hell.

    Before talking about the Homosexuality, I'll talk about suicide, insha Allah.

    Allaah Ta'aala says:

    < < And do not kill yourselves, indeed Allaah is Most Merciful to you. And whoever commits that through aggression and injustice, We shall cast him into the Fire, and that is easy for Allaah. If you avoid the major sins which you are forbidden to do, We shall remit from you your (small) sins, and admit you to a Noble Entrance (i.e. Paradise). >>

    Allaah Ta'aala says:
    < < And those who invoke not any other ilâh (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such life as Allaah has forbidden…...>>

    - Narrated by Jundub ibn Abdullaah radiAllaah anhu :

    That the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said, "Amongst the nations before you was a man who had a wound, and growing impatient (with its pain), he took a knife and cut his hand with it and the blood did not stop until he died. Allaah said, 'My Slave hurried to bring death upon himself so I have forbidden him (to enter) Paradise.'

    - Narrated Abu Huraira radiAllaah anhu who said:
    That the Messenger of Allaah -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said: "Whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, will be carrying that weapon in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever. and whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it, he will be carrying his poison in his hand and drinking it in the (Hell) Fire wherein he will abide eternally forever; "

    – In an authentic hadeeth: A person was wounded, he hurried death and killed himself with the tip of his sword, the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said: “He is from the people of the fire.”

    - It is narrated on the authority of Yahya bin Abee Katheer, on the
    authority of Abee Qilaaba, on the authority of Thabit bin al-Dahhak that the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said : “Cursing a believer is like killing him, and whoever accuses a believer of Kufr then he is like his killer, and he who killed himself with something in this world then Allaah will punish him with that (very thing) on the Day of Resurrection.
    (taken from Imam Dhahabi's 'Al-Kabair' (The Major Sins))

    Now decide whether you want to live in distress with patience and thankfulness to Allah and have a peaceful hereafter, or have a distressful life and an even distressful Hereafter?

    Homosexuality is Haraam in Islam.

    A hadith says the following:

    "Kill the one that is doing it and also kill the one that it is being done to." (in reference to the active and passive partners in gay sexual intercourse)

    This is the punishment for such and act.
    There was an entire nation (Ummah) which was destroyed, just because they had this bad habit or this bad characteristic.

    Allah says in Surah al Hijr:

    73. So As-Saihah (torment - awful cry, etc.) overtook them at the time of sunrise;
    74. And We turned (the towns of Sodom in Palestine) upside down and rained down on them stones of baked clay.
    75. Surely! In this are signs, for those who see (or understand or learn the lessons from the Signs of Allah).

    This is a reminder from Allah, a warning from Him. We should pay heed to this at any cost. I know it is difficult to come out of the trap of the Shaitaan, but remember that it is your life and you have to answer to Allah on the Day of Resurrection.

    Your brothers are the ones to blame, but if you do it out of your own will, you will be accountable, too. What you need to do is complain to your parents that your brother intends to do this evil.

    All you have to do is report them to your parents, so that they do not repeat this in the future, and you can have a peaceful life. Yes, you are deceiving yourself, but there is a way out. You can live a peaceful life, and have a peaceful hereafter. You do not have to live distressed, if you get rid of your brothers, concentrate on your Deen, get married to a righteous lady (presuming you have reached the age of marriage) and fulfil your sexual desire from her, instead of turning to the Haraam.

    And my brother, you should seek Allah's Forgiveness for your sins and earn the Pleasure of Allah. If you can use the time you have, to do Tawbah and have your sins forgiven, and also do Allah's Worship and Please Him, then why wish for death?

    Infact, it is wrong to wish for death. You can read the following dua instead:

    Allahumma Ahyini ma kanatil hayatu Khairan li wa Tawaffani idha (iza) kanatil Wafatu Khairan li.

    (O Allah, keep me alive as long as life is better for me and make me die when death is better for me)

    Allah said : “Say (O Mohammad -Allaahu 'alayhi wa sallam to mankind) : “if you (really) love Allah then follow me (i.e. accept islamic monotheism, follow the Qur’an and Sunnah), Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Qur’an 3:31.

    Abu Huraira Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated that the Prophet Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam. Said, ‘if Allah loves a person, He calls Jibrael (Gabriel) saying,’Allah loves so and so; O Jibrael (Gabriel) love him.’ And make an announcement amongst the inhabitants of the heaven:

    “ Allah loves so and so therefore you should love him also, and so all the inhabitans of the heaven would love him, and then he is granted the pleasures of the people on the earth.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.

    Abu Huraira Radhiallahu ‘anhu narrated tha Allah’s Messenger Shalallahu ‘alaihi wa Salam said that Allah said: “I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshipper of mine And the most beloved things with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My worshipper keeps on coming closes to Me through perfoming Nawafil (praying or doing extra deeds besides what is (obligatory) till I love him, then I become his sense of hearing with which he hears, and his sense of sight with which he sees, and his hands with which he grips, and his legs with which he walks; and if he ask Me, I will give him, and if he ask My Protection (Refuge), I will Protect him.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari.

    So, should you not intend to be loved by Allah? Should you not intend to become among the chosen Mu'minen, who will be under His Shade on The Day of Resurrection?
    Then do not intend to commit suicide, nor go near homosexuality.

    The best solution is to get married and whenever you have the urges, fulfill your desires with your wife.

    And Allah Knows Best

    May Allah bring you out of this, and May He accept you as one of His chosen Slaves

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

    • Assalamualikum Waseem brother,(hope you don't mind as I called you brother)

      Hope Your fine.Thank you so much for your reply and guidance.You have guided in a well manner.Once again thank you so much.
      Brother I don't want to spoil someone's life.By doing marriage I will unable to fulfill my wife's desires.You know the reason.
      You have quoted a hadith
      "Kill the one that is doing it and also kill the one that it is being done to." (in reference to the active and passive partners in gay sexual intercourse)
      I am the one who should be killed because due to me people with the same desire are also becoming sinful.
      I want to do suicide because I don't want to do more sins in my life and don't want to live the double meaning life in which I am deceiving every one.
      I love Allah so much but at the same time disobeying Allah.This type of life killing me every day.The sins I am doing are major sins which are not letting me to live.I don't want to spoil others life.
      Once again thanks alot.

  2. Wa'alykumsalam brother !!

    I pity you brother but this is what Islam has to say about SUICIDE;

    Suicide is a major sin. It is so major that even janaza prayer should not be performed for the person who committed suicide.

    The pain of suicide is for ever…
    A person, who commits suicide, does so believing it an escape from his crisis so he ends his life willing to bear a moment of pain and may throw himself of a cliff. Yet this hadith shows that he actually brings upon himself that pain not just momentarily but for ever and ever in Hell-fire.

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stated that the one who commits suicide will be punished with something like that with which he killed himself.

    Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself will be in the Fire of Hell, throwing himself down therein for ever and ever. Whoever takes poison and kills himself, his poison will be in his hand and he will be sipping it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron, that piece of iron will be in his hand and he will be stabbing himself in the stomach with it in the Fire of Hell, for ever and ever.” [Bukhaari, 5442; Muslim, 109.]

    Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever kills himself with something in this world will be punished with it on the Day of Resurrection.” [Bukhaari, 5700; Muslim, 110.]

    The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among those who came before you there was a man who was wounded and he panicked, so he took a knife and cut his hand with it, and the blood did not stop flowing until he died. Allaah said: ‘My slave hastened to bring about his demise; I have forbidden Paradise to him.” [Bukhaari, 3276; Muslim, 113. ]

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) refrained from offering the funeral prayer for one who had committed suicide, as a punishment to him and so as to deter others from doing what he had done. But he gave the people permission to offer the funeral prayer for him, so it is Sunnah for the people of knowledge and virtue not to offer the funeral prayer for one who has committed suicide, following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

    "...and do not kill (or destroy) yourselves: for verily Allah hath been to you Most Merciful! " [4:29]

    "...and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah loveth those who do good." [2:195]

    Brother you have to know that this life is only a matter of play and illusion. This life is all about tests and trials. You have to be patient in order to pass.

    "Alif, Lam, Mim, do people think that they will be left alone on (merely) saying: ‘We believe,’ and not be tested (in their claims)? We have indeed tested those who were before them; and Allah will certainly make it known those who were truthful and He will certainly make known the liars.” [29:1-2]

    Messenger of Allah said, “Verily, the greatness of the reward is with the greatness (or severity) of the trial. Verily if Allah loves a people He tries them (with trials).” [Tirmidhi]

    “When Allah wants well for a slave of His, He hastens the punishment in this world (rather than the severe and eternal Hereafter). And when Allah wants for His slave bad, He withholds from him (the punishment for) his sin until he takes it from him on the Day of Resurrection.” [Tirmidhi]

    The Prophet informed, “Nothing strikes a Muslim – no fatigue, illness, worry, grief, hurt nor sorrow; not even a prick of a thorn – except that Allah wipes off due to it some of his sins.” [Sahih of Bukhari & Muslim]

    Brother I advice you to have patience and try to continue to pray to Allah and ask for forgiveness and ask Him to guide and have marcy on you. After bad comes good indeed.

    “Verily along with every difficulty is relief (that comes thereafter).” [ 94:6]

    Yes! Certainly, the help of Allah is near!” [ 2:214].

    "Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"

    brother, lower your gaze, gurad your private parts and be modest. Stay away from stuffs which will bring you to commit sins. Stop thinking about your pasts. Worrying about it will not change anything. Try to stay away from your brother for sometime. And If you reach the age of marriage then go ahead and marry, so any abnormal feelings would Insha'ALlah go away.

  3. Hello,

    Surah Al-Imran, Verse 139 and Verse 140

    "So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: for ye mus gain mastery if ye are true in faith."

    "If a wound has touched you, be sure a similar wounds has touched others".

    Your life circumstances have been turbulent, but don't capitulate. I won't give you a long lecture, instead:

    " Allah chose 'Adam and Eve' and not ' Adam and Steve'.

    Islam does not even permit Euthanasia i.e. mercy killing viz patient whose condition is vegetative... who are forcibly fed through intravenous glucose. Thus, the question of suicide goes out of the window.

    You are not as bad as you think. You have to steer yourself out of it.Be righteous in your deeds. Marriage is an options for you. However, make sure you are prepared for the responsibility and you are not messing up with the life of your partner. You have to cease thinking over your past. Get over it! I know you can.

  4. I'm sorry to hear your story brother please don't kill yourself, it's a one way ticket to hell. Honestly!!! however much you think you are suffering now it's nothing compared to hell. Ask Allah to help you and to show you the way to fix this problem. in islam suicide is not permission nor there are any magical way out of this, Prayer is your only weapon, use it generously. Focus on other aspects of your life, it's not the end of the world.

  5. Salaams,

    Brother, I think the posters above have done a great job in citing the Islamic aspects to your situation. But let's talk about you and your feelings for a minute.

    You are in a lot of distress. You have been a victim of sexual abuse, and this sexual abuse has triggered a sinful desire in your nafs which you find yourself weak to, and you act upon it. You hate yourself for your weakness, and you feel hopeless. You feel that the only solution is to release yourself from this life.

    Brother, I know that the experiences you are having while struggling with these desires is very, very hard. I know that it takes everything right out of you, and you feel like a shell of a person. Yet, what I also see in you is someone who is not fully giving up, giving in. You know what you are feeling and have done is wrong....but look at how many people we have in the world who have seared their consciences and are engaging in these behaviors, embracing these behaviors and loving themselves for it? You are NOT one of those, so there IS hope for you.

    The truth is (and it is a very hard truth to sit with) that there are some really, really ugly nafs in this world. There are nafs that have unnatural desires for children (whether of the same sex or opposite). There are nafs that have such rage they want to harm others. There are nafs that cause people to turn against themselves in depression, and mutilate their own God-given bodies. There are nafs who want to exploit others, cheat others, overpower others, and use others. There are nafs that are homosexually oriented. This is all fact, whether we like it or not.

    We all have a nafs, but none of us ARE our nafs. Our nafs are entities that can be brought under control and into submission. Doing so is usually a lifetime effort, but it doesn't mean we stop trying, or stop fighting. There is a real you, your fitra, that is completely separate from that nafs you have. It is pure, loving, and wants only what Allah wants. That is the TRUE you. The duty of life for all of us, including you, is to find a way to get back to our fitra while controlling our nafs.

    In a sense, you have to come to peace that your nafs is what it is. Like I said, there are a lot of ugly nafs, and many times people don't want to fight it and end up accepting it, identifying with it, and letting it do whatever it wants. You don't have to do that, Allah has given everything you need to fight it. I can see deep down you don't want to give in, you don't want to let it control you, so that's what you need to hang on to. It might be a hard and long fight, but NEVER give up! Remember who you REALLY are.

    I want you to know that you are not alone. There are so many people, so many Muslims, who are struggling against their nafs. Some of them have worse nafs than you. We all fight, and succeed only by Allah's mercy.

    See if you can find a Muslim counselor or therapist that can help you in your war. Someone who knows that you are trying to overcome this stronghold in your life, but can also help you get in touch with the beautiful soul Allah put in you. That beautiful soul deserves a full life, a life of finding Allah in places you would least expect. He is for you, and He wants to see you pass this test and return to Him as a fighter who never gave up...and so do I.

    -Amy Editor

  6. Dear brother,

    asalamalikum. i hope and pray to Allah that you are feeling a bit better and thinking about improving your situation rather than suicide.

    there is a brother on this website in a very similar situation like yours. just go the search option of this website and type homosexuality, his post is the teenager one. please read it and all the replies as well.
    the followig wesites are also very useful, pleaseo through them. see interviews of people like you, who wanted to get rid of these desires and have been successful.

    Inshallah , you will come through it.

  7. Thanks all Brothers and Sisters for your replies.
    @ Waseem Brother,
    I hope you are fine.
    I am thankful to you that you have guided me in a well manner.
    Brother i can't spoil someone's else life as .By doing marriage I will not be able to fulfill my wife's desire.She will be destroyed and her whole life will spoil.
    You said that being doing homo is haraam is Islam..I am thinking that already I am doing haraam things in my life.Infact increasing my sins day by day and every day.
    You have quoted a Hadith
    "Kill the one that is doing it and also kill the one that it is being done to." (in reference to the active and passive partners in gay sexual intercourse)
    I am the one who should be killed because due to me other people having the same desire also becoming sinful because of me.

    • Assamualikum All,

      Hope every one is fine and happy.
      Thanks all of you for reply.
      @Ali brother (hope you don't mind as i called you brother)
      Thanks alot brother.
      I don't want to spoil other's life by doing marriage.You know what I am so I will unable to fulfill my wife's desires.
      I am deceiving every one.
      I am involved in shameful sins which are haraam.
      I am ashamed of myself.
      I can't leave my home because of my parents so unable to stay away from brothers.
      I am unable to tell about my brother to my parents because he is married and happy in his life.
      I am in a situation from where I am unable to escape.

      Once again Ali brother thank you so so much for your advice.Do pray for me.

      @Farrukh brother (hope you don't mind as i called you brother)
      Thank you so much for your reply and your advice.Please do pray for me.
      I am and will be thankful to you.

      @Nadia sister (hope you don't mind as i called you sister)

      Thanks alot for your advice.Please do pray for me.
      I am and will be thankful to you.

      @Amy brother, (hope you don't mind as i called you brother)

      Sir thank you so very much for your reply.
      Yes I am in a great stress and unable to overcome it for many years.I am feeling so much bad because of what I am and at the same time unable to stop myself.I don't want to be the ugly nafs for others as I wish no one on this earth would be like me and my life.I don't want to be the reason for others sins.
      Kindly do pray for me.
      I am and will be thankful to you.

      @Friend Brother (Hope you don't mind as I called you brother)

      Thanks alot brother for your kind advice.
      I have gone through the posts related to my issue but I actually wanted to know the situations in which Islam has permitted for suicide.
      That's why I asked.
      Please do pray for me.
      I am and will be thankful to you.

      • It is really difficult to give advice regarding your experiance because I dont know how it feels to be a gay but I understand how it feels to lust after woman. So if its one and the same but in your case its men, then fasting is the only solution to lower one's gaze. Try to fast as much as possible even if it 2 motnhs . Whenever evil thoughts crosses your mind, say " aoudhubillahi min ash shaytan nir rajeem " and forget about it. You have to try try try. You have to WILL it. Its under your control.
        Since you said you love Allah so much and you fear him, why dont you try going for tabligh jamaat for 40 days, it might help you stay away from sins nd help you mentally, and spiritually. Try to change your mind set, I think there is a mental block in there. Forget the past and try making legitimate upright spiritual friends. Ponder over the punishments of being gay and I guess you have to contact a therapist. A muslim therapist not a non muslim.
        I'll insha'Allah keep you in my du'as. All the best.

      • There are NO such situation that Islam permit to suicide. SUICIDE is HARAM that's it. FULL STOP!!!

        Brother I don't know how people feel when they face this kind of situation but can see and have emotion how you feel. I don't know how old are you also which country you live in.. Of you live in Islamic country then I will suggest you to visit mosque and pray there ask Allah to guide and forgive you, cry to Allah to give you strength. And if you live in western country try to find mosque bear you and if you can't find one then join Islamic group so that you engage with something . Do not let shaytan win. As about marriage, if you earn and think you can take care of your wife then start looking for spouse. Tell your parents to find and move to different house with your wife, 

        It sounds easy but it's not I know. Telling or giving advice is easy but it's hard for that person, still brother kick that thought about suicide. Which got no value only disaster. Remember Allah loves us thats why he created us as human, Allah wants us to turn to him and ask for guidance and forgiveness and if we are sincere Allah will forgive us and reward us good.

      • Salaam I pray you are in the best of health. I know this was put up a long time ago but if I can be of any help to you, that would be great. I really hope and pray you don’t even need to read this because your in a much better position in your life.
        I would love to share something that happened to me so you can I understand where i am coming from, I was abused by my brother and uncle when I was young, my family around me were great but didn’t know anything. I always use to feel like why couldn’t they stop what happened, did they know and just not do anything to stop it? I use to have nightmares where Mom was telling them it’s k what your doing to her. I was brought up in a really big extended family, so telling anyone was definitely not something I could do. When I was younger I thought this was normal thing that happened and that everyone went through it but as I got older it got hard to live with and I realised what happened to me was not normal, I use to dislike my brother sooo much, I use to think he should be there to protect you, why has he done what he did. A few years ago I found out that my brother was abused severely by my uncle, I forgive him for what he did to me as he was really young when that happened to him, I blame my uncle for all of this, he couldn’t control himself and thought he could do whatever he wanted to do! Till this day we can’t tell my parents what our uncle did as it will ruin them, break them totally. But I have slowly learned to live with it and be happy. Some days you have bad days but you just try to remember they will be good days.

        You are not to blame for anything that happened to you, your brother is. He is the one who did wrong, he sexually groomed you and that is not right.

        You are also not a bad person to be thinking of Suicide, after everything you have been through that is normal but you just need to remember that it won’t benefit you if you do act on it.
        Think about when you’ve gone, your brother will be living happily with his wife. Don’t let the abuser win, show them that no matter what they do you will be happy and they can’t take your happiness away from you.

        To the person that quoted the Hadith starting with “kill the person that is doing it ect...
        I hope you don’t take this in a bad way but when someone is thinking about Suicide that is such a irresponsible Hadith to quote. Also a person that has been abused from a young age, it is normal for them to think what is happening is normal and for them to act apon what has happened to them, I don’t believe this is they fault but once they realise this is wrong and they try they best to stop it. As this was the sunalr case with my brother and I forgave him.

        If you need to talk to anyone about anything, you can always message here. I will be happy to help. From a caring sister

        Please forgive me if I have upset anyone with anything I have said.

  8. Brother, do you think suicide will stop you from sins, save you from problems and you'll find peace after death?

    You are wrong. The one who commits suicide, his problems begin after he commits suicide. If he had done Tawbah, there is Hope that Allah would have forgiven him. But he chose to go against the will of Allah and kill himself, which he had no right to do.

    Suicide is an even bigger sin, my brother. You should throw this idea far far away.
    Your sin is huge and has a prescribed punishment in Islam, but this does not stop you from Tawbah. An adulterer who is supposed to be stoned to death according to the Shari'ah does Tawbah and hopes to be forgiven by Allah. Then why can't you? You are no different. Even you can do Tawbah and have your sins forgiven.

    Your concern that you won't be able to fulfill your wife's desires is valid. She deserves a husband who will satisfy her. But why do you think you will never be able to satisfy a woman? This is just a mental block you have. But you need not be true. If you sincerely work on dealing with homosexual urges, you could become normal, insha Allah. Then you could even be able to fulfill a woman's desire and even yours.

    You should stay away from your brothers and do sincere Tawbah by asking for Allah's Forgiveness and resolving never to go back to this evil act.

    Allah Loves His servants and waits for them to do Tawbah. We just need to do Tawbah to him and then His Bounties will be showered on us insha Allah. He is The Most Merciful and The Oft Forgiving, He will forgive you and have mercy on you insha Allah. But the condition is that you do sincere Tawbah.

    You are now gay, would you like to remain one? Would you not like to become normal like the other men? This is why you should do Tawbah and try and keep away from the acts concerned.

    There is one thing that can make you trust in Allah. The people on this website know that you have done homosexual acts but still we do not have you, and we love you as our brother and are advising you as one of our own brothers. Then what about Allah, Whose Love is unimaginable? He Loves you, brother. You just need to pay heed and turn to Him.

    “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]

    By thinking about the words, “Allaah will change their sins into good deeds”, you will see how great is the bounty of Allaah the Almighty. The scholars said that there are two meanings of the word “change”:
    (i) Bad attributes will be turned into good attributes, such as their shirk being turned into faith, their adultery into chastity, their lying into honesty, their treachery into trustworthiness, and so on.
    (ii) The bad deeds that they have done will be turned into good deeds on the Day of Resurrection. So what you must do is repent to Allaah and know that your coming back to Him is better for you and your family and your brothers and the entire society. Remember that life is short, and that the Hereafter is better and more lasting. Do not forget that Allaah destroyed the people of Loot in a way that He did not destroy any other nation.

    Ways of dealing with this problem
    (i) Keeping away from the things that make it easy for you to fall into this sin and remind you of it, such as: - Letting your gaze wander and looking at women or movies - Being alone with any man or woman
    (ii) Always keeping yourself busy with things that will benefit you in your religious or worldly affairs, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “So when you have finished (your occupation), devote yourself for Allaah’s worship” [al-Sharh 94:7] So when you have finished with some worldly task, then strive to do something that will benefit you in the Hereafter, such as remembering Allaah (dhikr), reading Qur’aan, seeking knowledge, listening to useful tapes, etc. When you finish one act of worship then start another, and if you finish one worldly task then start another… and so on, because if you do not keep your nafs (self) busy with good things, it will keep you busy with bad things. So do not give your nafs any opportunity or spare time to think about this evil action.
    (iii) Compare the pleasure you feel when committing this sin with the regret, anxiety and confusion that follow it and stay with you for a long time, and then the torment that awaits the one who does that in the Hereafter. Do you think that any wise man would give precedence to this pleasure which vanishes after an hour over the regret and torment that follow? You can become more convinced of this if you read the book by Ibn al-Qayyim, al- Jawaab al-Kaafi li man sa’ala ‘an al- Dawa’ al-Shaafi. He wrote it for people in a situation like yours. May Allaah make things easy for us and for you.
    (iv) The wise man does not give up a thing that he loves except for something that he loves more, or for fear of something he dislikes. This evil action will cause you to lose the blessings of this world and the Hereafter, to lose Allaah’s love for you, and will incur the anger, wrath and punishment of Allaah. Compare the good you will lose and the evil that will come to you because of this evil action. The wise man will see which should take precedence.
    (v) More important than all of the above is making du’aa’ and seeking the help of Allaah to ward off this evil from you. Make the most of the times and situations in which prayers are answered, such as sujood (prostration), before the tasleem at the end of prayer, the last third of the night, when it is raining, when travelling, when fasting, and when breaking the fast.
    (quote from islamqa)

    Do not worry my brother. There is a way out. You just need to work a little.

    May Allah enable you to overcome the urges
    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  9. As-salamu-alaikum,

    Brother I don't know what advice to give you, but as far as my knowledge in no way Islam has permitted committing suicide.

    Committing suicide is one of the greatest sins that Islam banned. Committing suicide is a greater murder and sin than killing another person. Therefore ulama (scientists, knowers) even disputed whether the janazah prayer of a person who committed suicide could be performed or not. There is no dispute over the murderer who killed another. The janazah prayer of a murderer is performed.

    A person who has the tiniest portion of belief in his heart does not consent to such a big sin and bad ending, and does not attempt to commit suicide. Our prophet (PBUH) informed that committing suicide was a great sin in many hadiths that you have read in the above comments.

    The hadith tells us that a Muslim must not attempt to commit such a sin under the influence of a worldly event by being unable to bear it. The greatest and the worst worldly event cannot be regarded as great in comparison to a hereafter problem. After all, this world is temporary, it will pass by.

    One of the reasons why committing suicide is a great sin is that man is not authorized to kill himself. Human body is a construction made by Allah. He who has built that structure will pull it down. Man cannot own his body and his soul...

    Bukhari Sharif Volume 4, Book 52, Number 297:

    Narrated Abu Huraira:
    We were in the company of Allah's Apostle in a Ghazwa, and he remarked about a man who claimed to be a Muslim, saying, "This (man) is from the people of the (Hell) Fire." When the battle started, the man fought violently till he got wounded. Somebody said, "O Allah's Apostle! The man whom you described as being from the people of the (Hell) Fire fought violently today and died." The Prophet said, "He will go to the (Hell) Fire." Some people were on the point of doubting (the truth of what the Prophet had said) while they were in this state, suddenly someone said that he was still alive but severely wounded. When night fell, he lost patience and committed suicide. The Prophet was informed of that, and he said, "Allah is Greater! I testify that I am Allah's Slave and His Apostle." Then he ordered Bilal to announce amongst the people: 'None will enter Paradise but a Muslim, and Allah may support this religion (i.e. Islam) even with a disobedient man.'

    The above hadith tells us that the prophet Muhammad(PBUH) did not allow his men to kill that man in mercy.

    Death is not the solution of your problem because the real journey will start after death, and do you want you to be presented in front of Allah swt as a person who killed himself. At that you will think "I wish I could have gone back in the world and would have not done this act or would have made the life much better in the light of Islam." Brother it is not easy to overcome this problem but you have to fight till the end. A Muslim should never give up.

    Go to some Islamic school, try to spent much of your time in Ibadat and salaat. Try to keep yourself in Masjid (mosque) most of the time even after the salaat is finished, clean the Masjid as that will keep you busy and try to be in Wudhu all the time Insha-Allah shaytan will not harm you when you are in Wudhu or in Masjid.
    Fast during the day and do Ibadat at night and that always remind you of Allah swt and will keep you protected from al sins. Cut off all the contacts with the guys who are engaged in this act with you. Keep your eyes always down and if you feel that someone is trying to attract you or if you feel any urges then run towards the Masjid. Warn your brother that if he does this act again then you will complaint it to your family which will surely harm his married life.

    Insha-Allah I will pray for you and everyone here will pray for you. As this is the month of Ramadan Allah swt showers his mercy in multiplication of 70x. Allah swt knows that you want to change your life, Allah swt will definitely help you.

    I apologize if I have said anything wrong in my post.

    May Allah swt shower his mercy on you.

  10. Dear brother assalamualikum!
    First Of all Do not Commit suicide ,By this you will close the door for repentance and clearing your self from sins.How will you face Allah and Our beloved prophet peace be up on him .Now only you and a few people know this and you have a chance to change If you kill yourself there will be no second chance you are doomed for ever and ever .
    Allah is Rehman there is nothing bigger than his compassion not even your sins.Have you not herd of the story of a man In ummah of Hzarath Musa alihissalaam?, who was forgiven after 40 years .
    Once i herd a prominent scholar saying allhas justice is not like a blind mans staff ; he swings it and hits all and every one would be hurt a like.

    By reading your story, I see three problems Homosexuality, Addiction and depression.
    I am a pharmacist and I know this can be changed. by Dua (prayer) and dava (medicine) In your story I see two important and encouraging things
    1)You want to change .Even if you die (not by committing suicide) while trying to change you will hope fully not die a sinner
    2) You have taken first step towards change by stopping your brother.
    And do no stop praying and asking for allahs help for becoming hopeless that allah will not help is kufr
    from which country are you?

    You need to change Psychologically(hypnosis) and using medications which can calm you

    Take care. Be alive and positive.

    • haroon, I removed your email address. We do not allow people to post private contact information on this forum, for everyone's protection.

      Wael Editor

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