Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Did Allah cross our paths so that I could be a good influence on them?

Asalam Alakum, I am an 18 year old female, who is NOT perfect just like any other Muslim. I am sinful at times, and mostly, I regret every move. But at times, things turn to be good? Like the story I am about to get into now.

About 2 and a half years ago, I met a man online, at the time he was 19 and I was 16.  Now he's 22 and I'm 18. When we both met we were both in love, of course we did NOT do anything physical, but who am I to lie when Allah (swt) already saw me? Yes I called him on the phone, but that is ALL. He was a 'Muslim' YET did NOT pray, He flirted a lot, he was just as bad as any teenager out there. But we spoke for a long time, and as days went by, he started telling me things, things that were too heavy to stay in his chest, like his problems, And all I did was help him out. ALL I EVER DID WAS HELP HIM OUT. And at last after 2 years and a half of talking, I knew that we were NOT mean't for each other, so I asked to stop talking to him. But just before I stopped talking to him, he told me "You're the only person in the world that made me a man, that made me holy, that made me cry to Allah, that made me listen and read Quran, that made me pray. And I thank you from all My heart. Cause without you I'd be lost.

My point is right now, is that I helped this kid learn his religion. Islam, I made something so bad, become so good.

And while I was talking to him, there were ons and offs, and during the first off, I met another boy online who was 17 and I was 16. And he was A REALLY BAD PERSON, who didn't pray, who went out with girls, who did so much sinful things, but as we spoke, he told me his problems, and after that, I told him I had to leave cause I didn't see it working. He was hurt, telling me to "please wait" till we reach good age. But I was becoming the better person and refusing. I just told him if we're meant, then I'll see you again sometime. But before I left by sometime, EVERYONE noticed a change, He stopped talking to girls. He started praying, he became very pious and everyone noticed it, including me. And before I left, he thanked me from all his heart, just like the other one did.

The story here might have sounded confusing, but I feel great that I brought TWO people, from two different states, two different pasts, two different families, that were SO BAD, back into Islam where they belong, They are pious, they are such good people now, and I feel as if I done something big! Problem now? I just need to work on myself. Alhamduallah, so my question, do You think that Allah (swt) gave me this job to turn these two people into better people? Why though? Did I do good? What do you think of this story? Thank you and Salam.

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3 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    I'm curious, sister, if these two brothers had done the opposite of what you had said, and started to have worse character and do more sinful behaviors, would you be just as willing to take credit for that outcome as you are taking for this one?

    In Islam, the ends doesn't justify the means. Allah is always in control. He can take a bad situation and have it turn out to good, or not. HE is the one who decides what happens, who gets a measure of grace to be more obedient, and who does not. So Allah used your foray into forbidden waters to draw two brothers closer to Him. He did it, not you. What you are saying sounds dangerously close to trying to justify what you did wrong, because it wound up better for them. It also is sounding like you might be toying with the idea of doing it again, hoping for the same results.

    Sister, we all must guard our pride. When we start to think that we have any hand in any good in this life, we are off the track. All good is from Allah, and all thanks must be returned to Him for it without believing we did anything on our own. Allah may hand pick some of us to use in special ways and to help others, but that doesn't mean that we are to puff ourselves up about it or think we did something to merit that. If Allah likes, he can have stones testify or the clouds witness, or even have a wine bottle rebuke the drinker. He doesn't need any one of us to accomplish His will, and we should always remember that if we are indeed involved in such a way.

    -Amy Editor

  2. Salaam sister, Further to the above reply i would like to add that shaytan may use this against you, you may venture into something similar with the thoughts of helping yet another, yet this time you become attracted to them, and instead of making them better, they influence you and make your worse, every story has 2 sides, and as much as upon first hearing you sound like a genuine good person, looking deeper you are taking a big gamble, and as said above the brothers only changed because Allah gave them the ability to and put the noor into their hearts, this may not always be the case, and as much as shaytan may tempt you once more, i would cease any online contact with any men from now on. you commited a sin by talking to them, the goodness from your mistake cannot justify your actions, since it was NEVER your intention for it to turn that way and it was ALLAH and not you.

    I dont mean to be harsh, but i dont want you to fall into the pits of modern society, if you want to better yourself and help others genuinely, then i suggest you talk to the sisters out there, they could do with some much needed guidance towards Allah.

  3. a/a.fantastic.,keep going .,may Allah send his sweet blessings on you.

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