Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should we divorce or should husband re-marry because we haven’t got a child?

no baby, woman looking at doll, woman and doll


We are married for nine years, but we haven't got any child..and we both thinking where our relationship is going..? when we were having a chat that for past nine years we haven't got any child, My Husband told me that, there is reason to get married, to starts own family...but in our situation we don't have any child. He loves me alot and I love Him too,I can't live without him.

My mother-in-law is very nice Alhumdullillah, She normally says us be patient ALLAH will fulfill all our Duaa (prayers).  I think the problem is with me because I don't get my menstrual cycle every month. When I see my mother-in-laws face and my husband's face, I feel very upset and devastated. I am the one who gave suggestion to my husband to give me divorce, may be because I can't give him a child and start new life,getting married with another girl.

I don't know what to do?  The only reason I asked him to get married with another girl because of a child, InshahAllah by doing this there will a happiness of a child in my mother-in-laws and my husbands face, I just want them to have happiness of a child to my husband and my mother-in-law. Even my husband told me that,there is no guarantee if I get married to another girl she will get pregnant..I told him I know that as well.

I'm really upset what shall I do? Once about two months ago we did pray Isthikhara Namaaz but didn't see anything in our dreams. I just want my Mother-in-law to play with her grand children and him to be a father. He doesn't want to leave me and I don't want to leave him but only the situation is crushing down on us. and he did agreed to me giving divorce but its mutual understanding between us.

Please give me Islamic advice on this, what shall I do? or Is there any Duaa for me to read?

Jazzaakallah khair.

- Nazia

Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

2 Responses »

  1. Assalam-o-Alaikum,

    Sister may Allah's blessings be on you and your family and may your prayers be answered soon. Amen! Please do not despair, I can't even imagine your difficulties but inshaAllah Allah will listen to your prayers. I myself know a couple who were blessed with a baby girl after ten to eleven years of their marriage.

    From your message it looks like you are not sure that what is is the cause,is it you or your husband. You are assuming its you but it might be your husband. Its also possible that none of you are the cause and its something else. Also, I don't think asking your husband to divorce you will solve any problems. Please do not make your husband to do something which is most disliked by Allah(swt) among things that are allowed in Islam. You have asked your husband to divorce you, thinking you are the cause, but what if your husband is the cause and imagine he (Allah forbid) divorces you so that you can marry someone else, how will you feel in that case?

    I think you and your husband should first ascertain through medical tests that what is the exact reason and then try to solve it. Its possible that both of you are fine and its only a matter of time that Allah will bless you with beautiful baby.(inshaAllah). Its also possible that one of you is the cause or may be both of you.

    In that case you have to further ascertain that where exactly is the problem. i don't want to go into much details, but I'll also like you to please consider assisted reproductive technology methods. While going in this direction please make sure whatever you do is not against Islam.

    One example that comes to my mind in terms of assisted reproductive technology is IVF(In vitro fertilization). As far as I know and my knowledge is limited, if IVF is done with husband's sperm and wife's egg than its permissible in islam. But if its husband's sperm and some other woman's egg or vice versa than its haram and considered zina. But please ask your local Imam who has knowledge of this area to completely understand it in light of islam.

    Also, if (Allah Forbid) medical tests point towards inability of you and your husband having a child. Then I'll humbly suggest that please consider adopting a child, instead of separating. My Prophet Muhammad (saw) was an orphan when he was born and his mother left him when he was six years old. If you adopt an orphan thinking of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), InshaAllah you and your husband will be really close to him on the day of judgment and in Jannah.

    But please do not separate, these are my few thoughts and may Allah's blessings be on you and your family. And may Allah guide us all.


  2. dear Nazia ,

    i dont know how old you are and where you live and if u ever tried any kind of treatment of subfertility? but it looks like that you havent explored any medical help available these days. the results of such teatment are so encouraging that we dont call it infertility any more we call it subfertility. just assuming that because your cycles are not regular so the problem is with you is a false and too drastic assumption. i would suggest that seek medical help in the first instance withour wasting any time.

    although I dont doubt your graciuosnous of offerering your husband to marry another women or give you divorse to have a child , dont you think you are unnecessarily pushing him into a situation that he himself is not asking for.

    if you both love each other so much and there is this extreme extreme understanding ,why dont you two adopt a baby as a couple rather than breaking your stable relationship.

    lots of good luck and duas for you my sister. dont make it complicated for everbody, think wisely and dont loose hope ,its not compatable with our faith.

    my cousin deliverd a baby recently after 17 yrs of marriage,mashalah. i have personally met and known many couples more than 40 yr old and having baby successfully. the oldest one being 54 yr old !


Leave a Response