Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Divorce has left me in a such a mess, can Sharia help me?

stranded after divorce

Dear Readers,

I am an Iranian with British citizenship, living in Dubai. My wife is an Iranian with American citizenship. We are both Muslims.

We married after 5 years of waiting in July 2003 in Iran, for residency requirements we got married in England in Jan 2004. Then we moved to Abu Dhabi for my work. We had a great relationship, with no real problems in life. I wanted children but she was working on her career. We both worked and had plans for the future and starting a family.

In mid 2008, after her return from visiting her family she changed and wanted a divorce. It was obvious that some one was controlling her. Here's how it happened:

-6th Oct 2008 my wife left our home, with out any cause or reason.
-Dec 2008, her lawyer asked for half of my assets as she wanted a divorce, under the British marriage.
-Jan 2009, I filed a disobedience case against her at Dubai Shari court, we meet at the court family consultation, after which the sheik said that we have no problems and that she should return home. (But she refused)
-Feb 2009, First Dubai court hearing where my wife asked for her full dowry (2 million AED, which I do not have)
-Oct 2009, My wife left UAE and relocated to the United States for good.
-Dec 2010, I lost my job in Dubai, and my wife imposed a travel ban on me.
-April 2010, My residency Visa finished, but I can not renew my residency visa in Dubai, because I have a travel ban, with no residency visa, I can not get a job, rental car or accommodation. I can not leave Dubai but I am not allowed to be here either.
-May 2010, Both the British and the Iranian Embassy will not help in any way because they can not intervene in the UAE court of law.

In Summary:-

-Dubai Court ruling; She must return home and I must pay her the dowry.
-I can not pay her the dowry, ( I am willing to pay her monthly, if she returns)
-She has been gone for more than 2 years, and she will not come back
-I have no Visa, a travel ban, not Job, no car and no accommodation of my own.
- I am completely trapped, no one seems to understand my situation.

Any suggestions on how I can get my life back? Where does sharia law stand on a case like this?

Please could some one tell me my rights under Shari law after 2 years of separation?

Many thanks.

- sam612

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4 Responses »

  1. Sam, As-salamu alaykum,

    I am not a scholar, and your case is very complicated. You need to speak to a qualified Islamic scholar who can hear all the details of your case and advise you of the Shari'ah rulings regarding abandonment of the spouse, division of assets, payment of the mahr, etc.

    I would suggest that your priority should be to find a way to lift the travel ban, so that you can return to the UK, and find a job there.

    I have the feeling that I am not getting the whole story. No woman would abandon a wonderful marriage relationship after five years, with no warning and no reason given. The story feels very incomplete, so it's difficult for me to offer any advice on how to talk to your wife, how to reach reconciliation with her, or if such a thing is even possible.

    I realize you are in a difficult position. May Allah make it easy for you, and give you a way out of your situation, and ease your wife's heart toward you, and bring truth from the darkness of confusion.

    Wael Editor

  2. Totally agree with everything brother Wael has commented.

    Get advice from the Ulama inshallah. And make sure the story is complete inshallah when u mention it to them..something sounds not right. It feels like too much information is missed out in between the events. Allaho alim.

    Whatever it be I hope that Allah s.w.t helps you inshallah and makes it easy for u, ameen.


  3. Salaam my Brother,

    Oh dear, what a terrible state to be in. You will not survive for very long if you are unable to work and move around.

    I agree with what Wael said - we are not lawyers, and a lawyer is what you need. If you have friends and family to whom you can appeal to for finance, then I would recommend that you do so. There are also human rights organisations such as Amnesty International (and others) who work internationally to help those who are trapped in countries, so again I would spend some time doing research to see if any such organisations exist in UAE and also ask for family members outside of the country to approach these organisations to see if they can help you from the outside.

    I would recommend you forget about your wife for now and just focus on what you need to do to get your visa back and to be able to get out of the country. Mobilise all of the support you can muster (friends, family etc) and focus on that.

    Your wife cannot be controlled if she is in America now - so you must accept that and focus on yourself and your own situation.

    I hope and pray that you find a solution soon inshaAllah,


    Editor, Islamic Answers

  4. Salaam,

    Ok - here is what I would recommend:

    1.) Seek finance from friends or family to help you recruit a lawyer - either in Dubai or an external international lawyer who deals with international disputes (for example /

    2.) Ask the lawyer to negotiate a situation on your behalf to enable to you to work in the country and have residency


    Editor, Islamic Answer

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