I want her back, divorce was a mistake
Triple Divorce
Sallam my dear brothers and sisters
I seek some advice, whatever I write, please do not judge me as Allah is the judge of everything.
I am a male and follow the Hahafi school of thought.
About 1 year ago I divorced my wife, this was out of pressure, anger and because of pride.
Before my marriage I had a well paid respected job, where I was earning good wage every month. A week or so before my Nikkah I was made redundant and my world came crushing down. I promised my wife before that we would get our own flat and live our married life without family or families pressure.
Once I lost my job thing had to change, which meant we had to live with my family and eventually move out, as nether of us had any good saving nor had a decent amount of income to cover rent etc.
Over the marriage, we started to have arguments and these arguments would relate her going to her parents home for months on end. The reason she would do such things is not because of my family giving her a hard time, but for us to move out and start to have a family.
She thought that moving out and having a family was easy. It would have been easy should either of us had a good job or a good income. My mistake then was that I never left my trust with Allah, the best of planners and best at guiding.
Eventually the arguments got the best of us, and she was away from me over a year and decided the best thing would be to go our separate ways. I went to my imam and he finalized the divorce. The divorce was Talaq un Bayin ( 3 talaq in 1). Me and my wife still loved each other deeply and knew that we could not be without each other, but at that time I thought it was the best decision. She never excepted the divorce, as she said it was wrong. until this day she still says this.
Anyways 1 year into our divorce either of us contacted each other and lived our normal life. she lives with her family and I also do the same.
This is where I need help. Around 3 month ago, I received an email from my wife, asking how I was etc. I responded back and ever since then we have been in contact. She expressed her love to me and was angry by the fact that I divorced her out of anger and it was not fair. I love my wife, she means the world to me, and I can not see my life without anyone apart from her.
So one day we decided to meet up for lunch and things started to happen. we started to meet each other on a regular basis and eventually we started to sleep with each other. We would meet without the knowledge of our family. One day out of conversation she said that she might be pregnant. No one knows this and am worried. I am coming to 33 now and I want this, I want to raise a family now and start living together as a family. I now have a decent income.
The information I seek is: is my divorce valid. I am get mixed information. Some people say its not a valid divorce other say its valid. Can I get back with her. Can you all please share a light into this and advice me on this issue.
Your brother in Islam.
~ help_me
59 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
salaam brother,
I'm sorry that this happened but happy at least you are admitting your mistake and want your wife back. I'm the last person to give anyone advice. but just to fill you in with the divorce thing. i was separated from my husband now for 6 months and he gave me divorce but that counted as 1 divorce. and just to be on the save side i called many imam in different masjid's because i did'nt want someone's advice who i know or he might know. we just picked random person and also called pakistani and saudi consult and they both said that's counted as 1 divorce. good luck to you and your new family. may Allah bless you all with all the happiness in this world. MashAllah it takes a real man to admit his mistakes and fix them 🙂
I tried finding in Quran and there's no dhikr of three talaq at one sitting is counted at once. Please guide me if you have any references as soon as possible. Want it for my family.
Jazakallah
Triple talaq does not exist in the Quran since it is a bid'ah and not the Islamic way. Please read some of the articles about divorce on our old Islamic Marriage Articles page.
Wael
IslamicArticles.com Editor
Yes you worked Well to finding and taking help of our Quran Sarif , You are right i am finding proof on Paper also that where is written the three Talaqu In one Sitting is Valid, But There is What I found you can follow Sureh Nisha : thats our Allah Says " Ones Talaq Coursed then another one can't be applied till hiddah completed ". This is What I found. Also I found on Arabians First Started to avoid the demand of lot of money and properties like case, and then it was flamed on whole earth. This is really shocking for me to i also victim of this in my case girl ran away in favor of other boy who really fooled her. but for me i am very happy now.
Sallam sister Fatima,
My husband triple Talaq me in one sitting two months ago. Now we both wanna get back. We have three kids together.
You mentioned that you got help from some where about the issue. I was wondering if you guide me through. Please help me, I feel like I am dying.
jazakallah khair
Find a local imam and ask for help
As Salamu Alaykum sister Fatima,
Feel Fearless i advice you to 1st find about what is the way of Talaq provided in written Sureh Nisha , then you decide not others, What ever you have to go againts people Don't do Halallah what evere people says avoid them, Our Allah is un compered he and our loved Prophet Mohammad Rasulallah says then nothing after that. ok I am Again saying please Find the way of Talaq in Quran Sarif then you will have knowledge of Real Talaq Provided by Allah. Inshaallah i do pray Allah to help you.
Ur marriage is valid I'm also a victim of this but I'm not as lucky as u both want to live together but my wife is not supporting me .any ways it's all niyath what Allah sees I believe that cos we all r humans not farishtay .we definitely make mistakes and repenting and asking Allah forgiveness is what Allah like . Let us not forget that. Wish u happy life .don't go to imaams
Salaams,
The question is not whether or not you divorce was valid. The question is whether the divorce you gave (3 talaq at once) counted as an irrevocable divorce or not. Most reputable scholars agree that 3 talaqs at once still only count as one talaq. As such, you had the opportunity to take your wife back during the thee month iddah which followed. However, it sounds like you let the iddah complete and the divorce become final. After that finality, the only way to have your wife back is to remarry her, which is permissible to do if only one talaq is given.
I would like to add that the intercourse you've been engaging in is considered zina since you are not currently married. You need to go ahead and have a new nikkah with your ex wife to make this relationship proper, and make tawbah for the zina you've been committing.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
assalamalaikum
1ST ADVICE TO YOU IS TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE HANAFI SCHOLARS AND THEIR VERSION FROM YOUR MIND-THEY ARE THE WORST PEOPLE AND CREATED WORST ATMOSPHERE FOR INNOCENT UMMAH WHEN THEY SEEK TALAQ. [IN THE 1ST PLACE THE IMAM MUST HAVE GUIDED YOU PROPERLY INSTEAD OF PERFORMING THE ILLEGAL DIVORCE ON YOU AND YOUR WIFE-
YOUR STAND IS AT ONE TALAQ IN LAST TIME WHAT YOU DID-
PL FOLLOW THIS AND PERFORM ONE MORE NIKAH WITH YOUR WIFE AND THATS IT-
COMMANDENTS IN QURAN ON TALAQ.......
O PROPHET[SALALAHUALAIHIWASALAM]WHEN YOU DIVORCE YOUR WOMEN,DIVORCE THEM IN THEIR WAITING PERIOD,COMPUTE THE WAITING PERIOD ACCURATELY, DO NOT TURN THEM OUT OF THE HOUSES IN THEIR WAITING PERIOD,NOR SHOULD THEY GO AWAY FROM THE THEIR HOMES,UNLESS THEY HAVE COMMITTED ANY MANIFESTLY EVIL DEED,SUCH ARE THE BOUNDS SET BY ALLAH,ANY ONE TRANSGRESSES THESE BOUNDS SET BY ALLAH SHE COMMITS WRONG AGAINST HIMSELF,YOU DO NOT KNOW MAY BE ALLAH WILL CAUSE SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TO PAVE THE WAY FOR
RE-CONCILIATION,IF YOU HAVE TO DIVORCE YOUR WIVES YOU SHOULD DIVORCE THEM TILL THE WAITING PERIOD.SURAH TALAQ-65 [AL-QURAN]
WHAT IS WAITING PERIOD-
THE SYSTEM OF SHARIAH TALAQ IS NOT TO BE GIVEN [IN MENSTRUAL PERIOD DAYS]BUT AFTER THE MENSTRUAL PERIOD WITHOUT HAVING SEX....
1ST MONTH 1ST TALAQ……
2ND MONTH 2ND TALAQ …...
AND 3RD MONTH 3RD TALAQ TO BE GIVEN IN FRONT OF ARBITRATORS FROM BOTH FAMILIES,BY GIVING AWAY ALL THE JEWELS,CLOTHES ALL THAT WAS GIVEN BY THE GROOM AT THE TIME OF MARRIAGE AND GIFT HER AND RELEASE HER WITH GRACE AND KINDNESS…….
IF THE HUSBAND PROCLAIMS THE 3RD TALAQ [IN THE ABOVE SHARIAH MANNER ]THEN THE WOMAN WILL BECOME HARAM FOR HIM THIS IS CALLED TALAQ-E SHARIATH……
ALLAH REVEALED IN SURAH BAGARA-229]IF A TALAQ IS GIVEN TWO TIMES AS PER THE LAW &KEEPS HIS WIFE OR SENDS HER BACK TO HER PARENTS & IN THAT CASE IT WILL BE COUNTED AS 2[TWO]TALAQS-AND IF THEY DO NOT RESCUE THEIR RELATIONSHIP THEY CAN RE-MARRY AGAIN BEFORE ISSUING THE 3 RD TALAQ [SURAH BAQARA AYAT [NO232AFATER THE 3RD TALAQ- NO RE-MARRIAGE IS ALLOWED……
THE INTENTION OF THIS VERSE IS FURTHER EXPLAINED IN HADEES NASAI REPORTS HOLY PROPHET SALALAHUALAIHIWASALAM WAS INFORMED A PERSON HAD PRONOUNCED 3[THREE]DIVORCES IN ONE SITTING HE STOOD UP IN ANGER AND SAID"ARE THE PEOPLE PLAYING WITH THE BOOK OF ALLAH EVEN WHEN I AM PRESENT AMONG YOU"SEEING THE EXTREME ANGER OF PROPHET SALALHU-ALAIHI-WASALAM A PERSON STOOD UP AND SAID SHOULD I GO AND KILL THAT PERSON.
THE COMMANDMENTS OF SHARIAH ARE FOLLOWED BY THE MUSLIMS MILLIONS OF GIRLS CAN BE SAVED FROM RETURNING BACK WITH CHILDREN. .
WHAT IS HALALA
HALALA MEANS THE DIVORCED WOMAN MARRIES ANOTHER MAN NATURALLY-AND CONSUMATES THE MARRIAGE WITH HIM...AND THEN HE EITHER DIES NATURALLY OR DIVORCES HER DUE TO NATURAL REASONS OR DISPUTE,SHE THEN BECOMES FREE TO MARRY HER FIRST HUSBAND[AFTER IDDA PERIOD 4 MONTHS & 10 DAYS]
HUSBAND ARRANGED BEFORE HAND TO GIVE HER TALAQ SO THAT THE WOMAN CAN RE-MARRY HER FIRST HUSBAND A CONDITIONAL MARRIAGE[ARRANGING A HUSBAND TO MARRY AND DIVORCE HER FOR RE-MARRIAGE IS HARAM IN ISLAM.
THE ABOVE DECLARETYPE OF MARRIAGE IS EXTREMELY DISLIKED IN SHARIAH.THIS ARRANGEMENT IS CONSIDERED ACCURSED IN HADEES ......[RADD-AL MUHTAR 2:540/ DARSE TIRMIDHI-VOL-3-PAGE 399.
THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH SALAHUALAHU-ALAIHIWASALAM SAID"ALLAH CURSES THE ONE WHO MARRIES TO MAKE A WOMAN HALAL FOR HER HUSBAND THE ONE WHOM THIS IS DONE FOR [BOTH]AHMAD,NASAI,TIRMIDHI]THIS COURSE OF ACTION IS SEVERELY PROHIBITED....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POSITION OF KHULLAH IN ISLAM.......
WHAT IS KHULA?
IF A WOMAN DOES NOT LIKE HER HUSBAND OR THINK THEY CANNOT LIVE IN HARMONY,SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO GET SEPERATED[KHULLAH]BY PAYING BACK HER MEHER & GIFTS GIVEN TO HER AND GET HERSELF FREE FROM THE BOND OF MARRIAG.IT IT IS BETTER THAT WHATEVER THE HUSBAND HAS GIVEN TO HER HE SHOULD NOT TAKE BACK MORE THAN THAT ALLAH HAS SAID THAT IF YOU CANNOT LIVE IN HARMONY,BETTER YOU SHOULD GET SEPARATED BY TAKING BACK THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN TO YOUR WIFE[AL-BAQARA-229]
WIFE OF SABIT BIN KHAIS CAME TO THE PROPHET[PBUH]AND SAID YA RASOOL ALLAH I FIND NO FAULT IN CHARACTER AND BEHAVIOUR OF MY HUSBAND,BUT I DONT LIKE HIM THEN THE PROPHET[PBUH]ASKED HER THAT WHAT SABITH HAS GIVEN TO YOU?
SHE SAID A GARDEN THEN THE PROPHET ASKED ARE YOU WILLING TO RETURN THE GARDEN SHE SAID "YES
A WIFE SHOULD NOT TAKE DECISION ALONE AND ASK HER HUSBAND FOR TALAQ SUCH AN ACT IS HARAM.EVEN THOUGH HER HUSBAND HAS GIVEN HER ALL THE FECILITIES AND DID NOT HARRAS HER ,THEN THE QUESTION OF SEPERATION SHOULD NOT ARISE[SUNNAH ABU DAWOOD 2226]
IN SUCH CASES THE WIFE DEMANDS TALAQ FROM HER HUSBAND THOUGHT HUSBAND HAS NIT HARASSED HER,ON THAT CASE THE PERFUME OF HEAVEN IS HARAM FOR THE WIFE....
1. Stop writing in caps and use proper indentation and grammar. It's extremely rude, offensive, and hurts the eyes of anyone who reads this site. You've done this more times than one can count.
2. Your not an Islamic scholar or an academic who could dismiss an entire school of thought based on your own opinion.
3. Don't post a romanized Arabic translation on this site. It's useless since its majority is English speakers who don't speak Arabic and will go to a site to translate or look up the verse you reference
4. Read the rules on posting before posting
5. Avoid writing huge chunks, copy and pastes, and a background from other sites. Use your own advice to reply to the poster in a short, and curt manner. No more than three paragraphs, correctly, punctuated, not in CAPS, without copy and pastes and an entire thesis from other websites.
Agree... I never read Ali Yusuf's comments... they are always too long and painful to read...He has to learn how to write short and precise answers .
Same here 🙂
Assalam alaikum br. Ali,
I think that what a few people are feeling is that you are copying and pasting from another site and that though this information is useful, we sometimes do not read it because of a few things:
your posts are long
YOUR POSTS ARE IN CAPS and caps on internet/email postings means yelling
it is sometimes hard to follow what you are saying because maybe it has been translated from another language and it doesnt always make sense
We would appreciate your advice if you wrote it shorter and in a precise manner, thank you br.
Please do not call a group of people the worst esp since they are Muslims - I was also offended even though I do not necessarily follow that school of thought.
JazakAllah
Mr ali you should not outline hanafi scholars in any negative light.it is highly offensive.pls refrain from such comments in the future
Salam,
Wa alaykum as-salam. Please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM
I HAVE TAKEN PERMISSION FROM FORUM TO TYPE IN CAPS FOR VISIBILITY-
AND MR ZOROOO 3 talaq at once ..means finished you are no more a husband and wife in Allahs court. PL PROVE THIS FROM QURAN AND HADESS BUT NOT FROM ANY MADHABS AND THE SELF APPOINTED SCHOLARS PLEASE AS THEIR VERSION IS NOT VALID-
Not only are you not abiding to the rules set forth to post on this site, but your claim of 'visibility' is not true. People see that huge chunk of text, and simply scroll through it because of how painful it is to read.
Don't be surprised if you see a ban in the future
Salaams,
Actually what the brother is saying is correct. He was given permission to write in caps by the editor in chief because the brother himself has trouble seeing what he types, not for the sake of other's visibility.
However, there is a point to be made here, brother Ali Yousuff, if you do continue writing like that -even though it's helpful for your own vision- you do take the risk that others will not take the time to read your posts in entirety.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
With due respect, my I suggest that copy and paste items in Word and after highlight all the caps in put them in lower case by a click of a button or even google:
upper case to lower case
Changing from upper to lower case shouldn't really be an issue.
There are many quick ways of doing this so that readers may find it easier to read. Thank you.
WS sister amy. All you have to do is hold control and scroll up or "zoom' into a page if his vision is the problem, rather than affecting everyone viewing the website
ASSALAMALAIKUM TO WHOM SO EVER IT MAY CONCERN........
NO ROOM FOR INSTANT DIVORCE:
According to the Qur'an, there is absolutely no room for an instant divorce.
The process must take months in order to allow reconsideration on the part of the husband and wife.
MR NORMAL POSTER YOU HAVE QOUTED ALL ABNORMAL POINTS ON THIS [LS NOTE........
1]when a husband says talaq 3 times at once ..
2]then this husband becomes a non mahram man to her wife .
IN THIS CASE 1ST TALAQ ITSELF DIDNT TAKE PLACE THEN WHERE IS THE QUESTION FOR HALALA [MARRYING ANOTHER PERSON AT ALL]
SKY AND EARTH DIFFERENCE IN THE SHARIAH TALAQ AND THE MAN MADE TALAQ OF THE MADHABS..
Surah 65. At-Talaq
(65:1) O Prophet, when you divorce women, divorce them for their waiting-period, *1 and compute the waiting period accurately, *2 and hold Allah, your Lord, in awe. Do not turn them out of their homes (during the waiting period) – nor should they go away (from their homes) *3– unless they have committed a manifestly evil deed. *4 Such are the bounds set by Allah; and he who transgresses the bounds set by Allah commits a wrong against himself. You do not know: maybe Allah will cause something to happen to pave the way (for reconciliation). *5
*1 That is, "O believers, you should not make undue haste in the Matter of pronouncing divorce: your minor family quarrels should not so incite you that you should pronounce the final divorce in a fit of anger and there remains no chance for reconciliation. However When you have to divorce your wives, you should divorce them for their prescribed waiting-period."
`Abdur Razzaq has reported about Hadrat `Ubadah bin as-Samit that hi: father pronounced one thousand divorces on his wife. He went before the Holy Prophet (upon whom be peace) and asked his ruling on it. The Holy Prophet said: `By the throe divorces the woman stood separated from him along with Allah': disobedience, and 997 pronouncement remained a: acts of injustice and sin, for which AIlah might punish him if He so willed and forgive him if He so willed. " In the details of the incident concerning Hadrat `Abdullah bin `Umar, which have been related in Daraqutni and Ibn Abi Shaibah, another thing also is that when the Holy Prophet commanded Hadrat `Abdullah bin `Umar to take his wife back, he asked: Had I pronounced three divorces on her, could I have taken her back even then? The Holy Prophet replied: No, she would have stood separated from you, and this would have been an act of sin." In another tradition the Holy Prophet's words arc to the effect: `Had you done this, you would have committed disobedience of your Lord while your wife would have been separated from you."
The legal rulings reported from the Companions in this regard are also in complete comformity with the Holy Prophet's injunctions. According to a tradition in Mu'watta, a person came to Hadrat 'Abdullah.bin Mas'ud and said: "I have pronounced eight divorces on my wife. Ibn Mas`ud asked: What legal opinion have you been given in this regard? He said: I have been told that the woman stands separated from me. Ibn Mas`ud said: The people have said the right thing: the legal position is the same as they have told you." 'Abdur Razzaq has related from 'Alqamah that a person said to Ibn Mas'ud: "I have pronounced 99 divorces on my wife He said: Three divorces separate her from you; the rest are (acts of sin) excesses. " Waki' bin al-Jarrah in his sunan has reported this very viewpoint of both Hadrat 'Uthman and Hadrat 'AIi. A person came to Hadrat `Uthman and said: "I have pronounced a thousand divorces on my wife-'. He replied: "She stood separated from you by three divorces."
PL STICK TO THE ISLAMIC SHARIAH RET HER THAN THE SELF APPOINTED MADHABS.....
salaam
my brother the best advice i can give you is if you truely love her to seperate yourself from her till you go forth with her and her wali with two wittnesses and the merh required and do a new niqah with her
pray to Allah and ask her to do the same and do thuba from the bottom of your hearts to Allah do istaharah for allah's guidance to show you the way forward
everyone makes mistakes but the best is those who see their mistakes and learns from them and does not make them again no one has the right to judge anyone but Allah
my brother you have asked for guidance listen and make up your mind keep in mind allah is watching and not what the people of this world will think of you and you decisions
Allah hafiz
Wa'alaykumsalam,
You've done great mistakes due to being impatient and ignorant. But good that you've realised it and want to improve your ways insha'Allah. You are now divorced ONCE. The imam you went to should have tried to be a mediator and help you and your wife to come to common terms but instead he hastened to issued divorce and that to in an wrong way. So basically, you are divorced ONCE and so its revocable. Firstly, you and your ex-wife must repent sincerely before re-marrying. And then marry her in Islamic way as soon as possible. Its for your best interest and so the child be born inside marriage insha'Allah. Secondly, the hardships you'll be facing in your life can be tests from Allah, be it loss of wealth or property or life etc and so at those situation you must put full faith in Allah and be patient. You must try hard to improve things and not make matter worst. The best solutions to your problem is always in the Quran. Allah will surely guide you if you seek him. Divorce shouldn't be simply. Be carefull next time. From now on, do not make hasty and naive decisions, whenever faced with hadrships, be patient, pray to Allah asking for help and visit graveyard or think of death more often inorder to keep some place of 'hereafter' in your mind. Do not chase this world so much as it is temporary and will perish.
Do all your duties towards Allah. Obey Him and His messenger. Fear Allah and make lots of tawbah for Allah is oft-forgiving and merciful.
@Zoroo,
What you said is true regarding the condition required to re-marry an 'ex' when irrevocable divorce is issued. But in the OP's case, irrevocable/ talaq bain didn't happen. 3 divoces issued in one sitting/at once is only counted as one.
@Ali Yusuf,
Though I'm a follower of Shafi Madhab , it offensive and rude for you to despise the Hanafi Madhab and its scholars calling them 'worst people'. There are differences in all madhabs and so we must agree to disagree and not blame the great scholars. Yes Hanafi madhab might be strict it some aspects and linient in others and they have their own reasons for that. Just because some hanafi scholars acted in a negative way, that doesn't mean that their whole school of thought is wrong. And finally, write using small letters.
asalam walekum brother
just tauba towards allah n marry her n live with her.bcoz she is pregnant from you child is allahs gift,this child came to make u together say alhamduillah n accept her alllllllllah is great he forgive u
Asalamualaikum Brothers & Sisters,
All I would like to know is I divorced my lovely wife in a heat of the moment (In Extreme Anger) the argument went on for 25 mins or so which lead me to say the forbidden 3 words at one time, straight away i realized what I had said and I regretted so much, I went to an Imaam of the mosque I follow and he said my divorce is valid and counts!! but the imaam told me that there is a way round that u and your wife can get back together by planning a halala... Upon hearing this I knew this was wrong to do and the Prophet (s.a.w) does not allow a pre-planned Halala, so I went to another Muffti of another mosque, I told the Muffti my issue and he too told me the same as the first Imaam so it was then i decided to research for my self on the matter of Tripple Talaaq at one time, after doing ALL my research I found out that the Tripple Talaaq in one sitting is of mixed opinions amongst the Imaams, me and my wife want to get back together,we have a 2 year old daughter too, and we going to repent to Allah for forgiveness and leave "our getting back together as husband and wife via a fresh Nikah in the hands of Allah" are me and my wife RIGHT in going by this route? because Allah says u complete HALF your deen by getting married and out of all the sins mankind can do Allah hates DIVORCE the most of all sins so then why would Allah allow MARRIAGE to crumble and break so easily in 3-5 seconds by saying Talaaq 3 times in one go? Please help me on this important issue. Is it true in the Prophet (saw) times 3 talaaqs in one go was counted as only one divorce?
jazakhallah
ASSALAMALAIKUM
TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN I DO COPY PASTE BECAUSE I HAVE THE ORIGINAL PAGES READY TO ANSWER AND THIS COPY PASTE IS NOT A CRIME AS THIS HELPS ME SAVE TIME AND AVOID MISTAKES AS MOST OF THE QURAN AND HADEES REFERENCES ARE INVOLVED.....
AND IF THE ANSWER IS LITTLE LONG IT CANNOT BE HELPED BECAUSE IT IS THE POINTS THAT HAVE TO BE COVERED TO GUIDE THE QUESTIONER WHICH IS A MATTER OF THEIR LIFE AND DEATH THEY WILL READ IF NOT OTHERS-BECAUSE THEIR PROBLEM IS SERIOUS-
HOPE THIS IS ON ORDER-
REGARDS
asalamualaikum
thank you for your reply and advice brother Ali Yousuff but i am too scared of Allah if I choose the wrong option regarding me and my wife getting back together as husband and wife,I am Sunni Hanfi Sect and our side say the my divorce counts and they are ready to do a Pre-Planned Halala which I totally object to!!!!! because it is an haram act. I have read and understood your reply clearly BUT I am still scared regarding what to do so can anyone please help me make my mind up...I really hate being in this predicament. will Allah forgive me if me and my wife get back together????? I am really worried and stressed about this issue and because of me constant thinking about this I had a minor stroke so its affecting my health, can anyone please DRILL the correct information into my head.
May Allah help me and you ALL... Ameen
Jazakhallah
ASSALAMLAIKUM.....
There will be no help from any one if you want to stick to the sects[madhabs]
PL READ CAREFULLY AND BE ON THE RIGHT PATH.......
1ST DECIDE WHETHER YOU WANT TO FOLLOW THE QURAN-[O PROPHET[SALALAHUALAIHIWASALAM] WHEN YOU DIVORCE YOUR WOMEN,DIVORCE THEM IN THEIR WAITING PERIOD,COMPUTE THE WAITING PERIOD ACCURATELY, DO NOT TURN THEM OUT OF THE HOUSES IN THEIR WAITING PERIOD,NOR SHOULD THEY GO AWAY FROM THE THEIR HOMES,UNLESS THEY HAVE COMMITTED ANY MANIFESTLY EVIL DEED,SUCH ARE THE BOUNDS SET BY ALLAH,ANY ONE TRANSGRESSES THESE BOUNDS SET BY ALLAH SHE COMMITS WRONG AGAINST HIMSELF,YOU DO NOT KNOW MAY BE ALLAH WILL CAUSE SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TO PAVE THE WAY FOR RE-CONCILLIATION,IF YOU HAVE TO DIVORCE YOUR WIVES YOU SHOULD DIVORCE THEM TILL THE WAITING PERIOD.[SURAH TALAQ-65 [AL-QURAN]
NEXT.....
[SALFUSALHEEN [MEANING SAHABAS TABAYIN TABETABEYIN AND KEEP YR IMAAN STRONG ON SHARIAH OR FOLLOW THE WHIMS AND FANCIES OF LATER GENERATIONS OPINIONS ......
THIS ALLAH HAS TOLD IS HARAM AND THAT IS HARAM PI am Sunni Hanfi Sect and our side say the my divorce counts and they are ready to do a Pre-Planned Halala which I totally object to!!!!!
"Verily, Allaah will not change the condition of a people, as long as they do not change it themselves." Surat-ur-Ra'ad [13:11].
It is counted as one talaq therefore you would need to remarry your ex wife and i pray to god you apperciate her and apperciate the fact how lucky you are to have such a person to forgive you after what you put her through it is unforgivable regardless a person is angry or not should think twice saying such words that women suffer the most from society out of unfairness.
asalamualaikum sister Samina
you are soooooo correct in what u said, i really love my dear wife and she means the world to me, i can not live without her for one single day and i'm 38 years old, i promise i will never repeat my stupid actions ever again!!! my wife has asked me to give her time regarding getting back together as husband and wife but she kind of gave me the indication she will come back to me inshallah, she went to hell and back for me all the time but i am man enough to admit i was wrong and i also admit my wife is a special star mashallah, inshallah in about 3 or 4 weeks time from now we shall be re-married and living a happy life thru islam and Allah's help, I have heard people say hazrat umaar changed and over ruled prophet muhammed (SAW) regarding 3 Talaaqs at one time....so this is confusing ALL muslims regarding divorce so how are we sure what is the right thing to do?
Asalamualaikum
Sajad
Salaams Sajad,
I am glad and happy brother you realised you was in the wrong at least you admitted it and didn't let your ego or stubbornness take over otherwise. Brother I can reassure you it was counted as one talaq process, but to make your wife halaal you would need to do nikkiah again and I do wish you the best inshAllah Allah is with you both.
assalamalaikum
Its good to gear your are heading for re0marriage direclty with aanotyher mehr and nikah-
Now coming to your statement-HERE IT IS SERIOUS MATTER FOR YOUR LIFE SO PL SEE CAREFULLY-
THIS-
I have heard people say hazrat umaar changed and over ruled prophet muhammed (SAW) regarding 3 Talaaqs at one time..
PL TAKE SERIOUS EFFORT ASK PROOF OA AUTHENTIC HADEES FROM THOSE WHO SAY THE ABOVE STATEMENT ON HAZRATH UMAR[R.A]
THAT WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU AS FAR AS I KNOW THAT PEOPLE WERE MISUSING THE DELAYED WAITING PERIOD CONCEPT AND WHEN THE AMTTER CAME TO HAZRATH UMAR THEN HE THREATENED THEM THAT HE WILL DECLARE THE [3] TALAQS IN ONE-
ANF THIS HAS BEEN TAKEN AS A CHANGE FROM QURAN AND HADEES WHICH IS CONTRADICTING BOTH-
SO ITS BETTER TO TAKE THIS PROOF FROM THOSE WHO CLAIM THIS INNOVATION-
Note: When it comes to Bidah it is the ones who are involved in it that have to prove its authenticity from Quran or Sunnah, not the other way around. But if some persists, then my proof for classifying all the above as bidah is that we do not find any reference to these actions in the Quran or authentic sunnah.
[EVERY ONE WILL ANSWER FOR HIS OWN DEEDS NO RELATIVE NO SAINT NO PROPHET WILL COME FOR YOUR RESCUE FOR THIS PARTICULAR SIN]
ALL THE BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE-
REGARDS
asalamualaikum brothers and sister
I have changed my mind by getting back with my ex-wife because I really dont know the truth regarding 3 talaaqs given in one go and I'm so scared to do the wrong thing, i fear Allah too much now, I am starting to look for a new girl to marry Inshallah and start a new fresh life, so if any of you dear brothers know a widow,divorced girl with or without children then please let me know (girl must have a little bit of Deen)
My heart is beating really fast regarding this whole issue, I'm just a simple loving guy but the fear of Allah just scares me too much. maybe i need someone to sit in front of me and explain it to me because this messaging site is just not convincing it for me.
Sajad
asalamualaikum brothers and sisters,
Ive just come back home from a very good friend of mine and we were discussing my divorce issue and he advised me to do an istikhara 3 times to get a clear sign from Allah if i should go back to my dear wife inshallah, do you ALL think this is a very good idea, you all have been very helpful to me on this site so may Allah help u all and guide u all ameen
Sajad
Brother sajad you sound very confused and you dont know what you want. DO YOU WANT YOUR 'EX' WIFE OR NOT?? one minute ur saying you made a mistake and you really love your wife you want her back and then you say you dont that you are looking to get married to someone new and now again you are asking us can you get your ex wife back!.
Brother if your ex wife is pregnant with your child then my advice is to marry her. i dont know if your thalak counts as three or whether the time you spent with her after is considered zina if you truly love her then marry her/get back together. pray to Allah swt and seek his guidance.
Mr Ali, reading caps is extremely irritating for eyes. Taking permission from forum to give us hard times? May be we just ignore ur valuable comments coz its written in caps.
asalamualaikum sister muslimgirl
OF COURSE I WANT MY EX-WIFE BACK!!! "BUT" i'm confused regarding this tripple divorce issue sister and you are right in saying i am confused but i do know what i want and that is i want my wife back, the brothers and sisters have advised me on this site and I thanks them ALL for there kind help and may Allah make them all happy in there lifes, see my confusion is on these two lines as follows:- (1) if my tripple divorce counts then I am sinful and i did wrong in moment of anger. (2) if I say it does not count and get back with my wife via new nikah then what if our living is haram because the tripple divorce counts. this is where i am sooooooooo confused because either way you look at it I have/done/doing wrong, but I have done Istikhara 3 times to ask Allah for help to guide me in this confusion, I asked Allah "if my divorce is not counted then please let me and my wife do new nikah and live together and if my divorce is counted then please keep us apart from each other" so I have left the divorce issue to Allah now and Allah will always guide us correctly. Allah will either Allah will pave the way for new nikah or create major obstacles in our way for new nikah, and I am just going to proceed with getting back with my wife via new nikah and if Allah knows its wrong then i will see obstacles in my way or if Allah knows its right for me to get back together with my wife then Allah will pave the way for me and make it easy for new nikah.
I will let you All know the out come of this my brothers and sisters
jazakhallah
sister muslimgirl.
I forgot to mention in my last reply to your message that my wife is not pregnant but we have a 2 year old daughter.
Jazakhallah
Salam brother,
I think you should go to a trusted imam and explain exactly how you divorced her and proceed with the advice of the imam. This is a very important matter to clarify as if you remarry her wrongly then you would be commiting zina for the rest of your life and if you leave ur wife without correctly knowing you may lose her forever. You really need to sort it out soon. I am also confused as you say you cant live without your wife then suddenly you turn around and say you are looking for a new girl to marry? If you love your wife so much why are you so quick to look elsewhere when the going gets tough. You should fight for her through to the end. Get to the truth whatever it takes.
Inshallah all will be well for you and your wife.
asalamualaikum,
Please can someone tell me can we do Istikhara to find out if the we are divorced or not due the world wide confusion on the tripple divorce issue, I need to know asap please, I have done istikhara 3 times now so I try to get back with my wife via a new nikah and if my tripple divorce doesnt count then Allah will make my path easy for new nikah, is this correct as to what i have said? please correct me...
jazakhallah
Yes you can.
asalamualaikum
so do you think I should carry on with my intention to get back together with my wife and leave it to Allah to let it happen if its correct or not let it happen if its wrong?
Jazakhallah
Salaams,
Brother, you keep trying to get an absolute answer so you can go forward. As you can see, there is not going to be 100% agreement about your divorce (triple talaq) counting as one or three. Even the scholars are not in consensus- there is only the majority (which say it only counts as one talaq) and the minority (which state it is irrevocable). Nothing you say and no one you talk to is going to change the fact that there will be someone, somewhere stating a contrary opinion on the issue.
Don't let the "final correctness" of this trip you up or keep you from making a choice. Allah is not going to come down with brimstone and fire if you take the path of the majority and count it as one divorce, and remarry her (in my opinion). Allah knows we all do only the best we can, with the understanding we can. Many Muslims in your position would take that course and let it be. I really think you are obsessing about this just a little too much.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalamualaikum Amy,
thank you for your advice and reply and your prob correct in what you say, Ever since I have done Istikhara I have realized that everything regarding getting back with my wife is going really nice mashalaah, I spoke to my wife and she wants to come back to me and I also spoke to my wife brother yesterday and he too said that we should ALL sit down and talk and get back together so mashallah all is going well and all thanks to Allah Ji, my brother in law was present when i said the 3 forbidden words and my brother inlaw said to me that as far as he can remember I said the forbidden word only Twice and not three, he says that because I have a stammer speach problem.
Jazakhallah
Salam my brothers and sister
I am from Myanmar and I follow Hanafi Mazhab.My husband said one Talaq two months ago. But we were Ok and We live together.And last night, we were fought on a phone and I was so angry and ask him to say Talaq to me.Then, he said Talaq for three times.But he really don't want to he said.We both know that we made a big mistake after 3hours after fight. and We realised that we can never be together.We cried that we made a big mistake.We ask a Mufti about triple talaq.He sai it is valid and we can't be together.But I see many website that states that triple Talaq on one I sitting counts one divorce.But all the mufti said that is valid.How should I follow? I saw that u guys said that triple talaq is one divorce.Please tell me the truth.I think Triple Talaq on one sittingi one divorce.Do you think I am right if we have new nakar?
Please ask for me if you have someone who knows Shariat very well.,
Assalum Alaykum I seek advice on my marriage.I was a divorced women after 1 and half years of my first marriage dirvorce I refused to be involved with anyone I was hurting and finally I met someone and married I told myself I would sleep only with my husband and someone deserving of me I'm a good wife and very patient person I don't know why Allah has sent such a man to me my second marriage after three months of being married he came home drunk and swearing at me talaaq me a thousand times I was married to a drunk I dnt drink at all I was so stunned at everything and very much inlove with this man I have left him over and over and everytime returns its 8 years later and in the eight years I've gone numb to hearing talaaqs he wasn't born muslim he came into the deen he was married before with three kids I have taken care of him and his kids who stayed with me I wish Allah could remove that which is not good for me I use to tell everyone I confide in I have the perfect husband but he drinks so sad how my life turned out I cry for eight years and still cry as my guilt consumes me I'm not strong enough to stay away
May Allah swt make it easy for u ... but from a womans point of view u should get out of such a life .. and talaq was given then its haram.to.live in such a life .. at the moment im.going tru my iddah period .. my husband is begging for me back but i dont want cyz he is to abusive ... may Allah swt make it easy on us all...
JazakaLlah for the response .
aslamo alaikum brother
I have some issue my husband send a divorce paper with no valid reasons and in the divorce paper with 2 wetness sign i m not know who is this wetness and i just receive and read the paper i m not sign on divorce paper is this valid for divorce in Muslim laws
pls advice me.i have read ur articles on divorce laws but i still dont understand them in my situation.
Salam.
My question is if someone planned a nikkah for halala and the girl stays with the guy for one night only but they don't perform sex because of girl having periods. They don't meet after that and the boy gives talaq after three days. Is that halala is jaiz????? Somebody plz answer plz
"Halala" itself is a haram practice. It was condemned by Rasulullah (sws).
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
A wife was in nikkah of one person but she performed 2nd nikkah with another person and took talaq after few days. The 1st husband did not know this and he countiued living with her and knows about that nikkah and talaq after 8 years. I need to ask that is the first nikkah still valid? After that second nikkah and talaq of her wife he had 2 more children's. What is the status of his nikkah and children now??
Indeed to know specifically that is halala jaiz without intercourse due to girl having periods???
We are sailing in d same boat and finding someone for halala. If some such couple can help
So-called "halala" is actually haram and is a cursed practice. It was literally cursed by the Prophet (sws) as a mockery of the deen.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Is anyone still here?
Muslimah, please register and submit your question as a separate post. By the way, there are many published articles that answer your question already. For example:
Ruling on Triple Divorce
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor