Divorce will not ease me, REVENGE WILL.
dear brothers and sisters,
I am very sad and very angry. my wife had walk sessions with another student while she was in hostel for exam preparations (girl n boys hostel are separate, no girls allowed in boys hostel and the no boys allowed in girls hostel).
she said that they just had friendship a simple friend, they used to walk in the night from 09:00 pm to 10:00 pm, in the begining she didn't tell me about the kissing, but later on i insisted too much, then she told me the fact that they had lip kissed and that guy has also touched her breasts but not under that. she said that they have only kissed and nothing else.
She has taken the Quran and she swear on the heads of our two kids in this regard, she wants to be with me forever, she has assured that she will not do it again, i gave her my pistol to prove her loyalty, i told her to shoot her leg but before that without letting her know, i took out the bullets. At the first try she was afraid, then i was shocked she fired, then she cried.
I know she loves me, I love her too, i am hurt, very much, i am so much hurt that I want to do something, I do trust her that this will not happen again, but, I just can't bear what had happened, i am not able to express my feelings here, she has been stupid, I am not sure on their intercourse, but she is saying that they had no intercourse.
What should i do please tell me whether i need to kill that bastard? who messed with my wife and ruined our lives. Please tell me.
I have been put in a situation where I can't think for my kids, for my future, for anything, i just think of the mess the guy brought to my life and my wife being the stupid pray.
Divorce will not ease me, REVENGE WILL. As Mohammad PBUH has said "that it is better to forgive, but you can also take revenge if you want to", I think of myself nothing, I am not a good preacher, but I have affirm faith in Allah SWT and his messengers and the holy Quran and so is my wife.
I just want to kill that person.
thanks
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Salaam brother.
I am sorry for your pain brother, but revenge or hurting this man or your wife will not ease your pain. It will only cause you more problems. I strongly strongly urge you to leave this man alone. Let him be - Allah swt is the Most Just and He will deal with this man. Do you not trust that Allah is th Most Just?! Do you think anything you do to this man will be like the punishment he could receive?! By hurting or killing him you are only giving yourself SIN. And it wont even ease your pain. You will most likely be arrested and charged and be away from your wife IN JAIL. So ask yourself IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? Even after you get out of jail you will have a criminal record and no one will hire you. So jail, no job, continuous pain. And more to come in the aakhirah! And hurting this man will NOT give you closure or take away your pain.
Brother give yourself some time and then slowly InshaAllah you will be more able to forgive him and to let this go. Otherwise you could risk ruining your marriage and your own life.
Read this InshaAllah - its beautiful and it will make you think
http://islamicsunrays.com/category/forgiveness/
If you really can't deal with it then divorce is probably the best option and find a new wife. Also if you tend to have such violent urges maybe see someone about this just to make sure. Either way I urge you to stay away from this man and work together with your wife on rebuilding your marriage.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salamu alaykum, brother jabbar,
Your Heart has called mine in your desesperation, I see your Heart beyond all this struggles, I see your suffering, I see how your Heart bleeds, and I see you cannot see, please brother let me be your walking stick while you are blind to guide you to Allah(swt), I see all of this will pass on time, I know it will, and if you surrender to the evil whisperings of looking for blood that will ruin for sure not just your life, the life of your little ones, the life of the one that came to this life under your wing, Allah(swt) gave you the responsibility of taking care of them, and this is one of the biggest responsibilities we parents have, I know this situation has make you go crazy, I understand it you trusted her and she acted wrong, your trust is broken, your foundations are shaking, I see all of that.
Brother Jabbar, I don´t know what kind of person is she, but seems to me she has learnt and with time you will be back on track, this won´t be tomorrow or a month or a year but you will get it, you are a pious man and your Heart is with Allah(swt), I see that too.
The man that did this to you, will receive his reward(punishment) from Allah(swt). This is your test, Let Allah(swt) do His Work you don´t even need to wish him anything, we pay for all our faults even for the most minimum ones,.
You don´t deserve to carry with the heaviness of wishing the death or wanting to kill anyone, this is bad enough in thought, you don´t deserve that, please ask Allah(swt) to help you to forgive and if you are not able to forgive and handle this situation withouth thinking on the worst, go to therapy, go to someone that can help you and guide you towards healing this wound, you deserve best Jabbar, don´t get stuck on this test, nobody should have the strength to ruin your life or the life of your children, Allah(swt) forbids.
I know my words are just words, and I am here sitting in the other side of the world telling you what I think should be the best, trying to help you in the blindness that your Heart has now for so much suffering, but this is the only way I have to get close to you, my words, I have seen so many peoples life ruined because someone couldn´t see a glimpse of hope for change, for acceptance, for the possibility of a future, and I offer myself to be the stick until you get stronger in Allah(swt) to see you have a life in front of yourself that nobody has the right to steal from you, the only One that has Power over our Life is Allah(swt).
Please recite this dua, will bring Peace to your Heart, I am praying for you right now, I have you and your family in my prayers until you are strong enough to do it by yourself, insha´Allah.
To end with a du`a’ of the Prophet ﷺ, who said that if a person suffers anxiety or grief, they should say:
“اللهم إني عبدك وابن عبدك وابن أمتك ناصيتي بيدك ماض في حكمك
عدل في قضاؤك اسألك بكل اسم هو لك سميت به نفسك او انزلته في كتابك
أو علمته أحدا من خلقك أو إستأثرت به في علم الغيب عندك أن تجعل القران
ربيع قلبي ونور صدري وجلاء حزني وذهاب همي”
“Oh Allah! Indeed I am Your servant
Son of Your male servant and female servant
My forelock is in Your Hand (i.e. You have control over me)
And Your Judgment upon me is assured, and Your Decree upon me is just
I ask you with every name that You have named Yourself with
Or revealed in Your Book (Quran), or taught to any of Your creation
Or kept with Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You
That You make the Quran the life of my heart, and the light of my chest
And the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress.”
And Allah (swt) will take away their sorrow and grief and give them in their stead joy. (Ahmad)
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Anything I can help you, just let me know, I will be for you, insha´Allah.
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salam aliekum,
I totally disagree with sister maria's and sister sara's advice. I don't understand why sister maria has to show much extra humility to this man who speaks of divorce, revenge and murder. And see how he has behaved with his wife. No doubt his wife has confessed of being guilty but wasn't there a better way of dealing with her? Handing over a pistol and asking to shoot, though unloaded, was this the correct behaviour?
And, why should sister sara advice a divorce? Just go to the post “I LOVE HER BUT HER PAST BOTHERING ME” http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/past-bothering-me/comment-page-1/#comment-30319 and see how the topic of forgiveness is elaborately discussed by the commenters. Then, is it not applicable in this case also? Why not simply forgive the wife and become sterner if she is found guilty once again?
Brother jabbar, you have not mentioned whether your wife had done that before marriage or has committed adultery? You said: “but I have affirm faith in Allah SWT and his messengers and the holy Quran and so is my wife.” If this was really true, neither your wife would have sinned nor would you do or speak this kind of aggressive stuff.
And, if this was after marriage, again it’s your fault that you let your wife stay at a hostel for exam preparation. And, was the hostel in the same place where you stay? You should have made alternate arrangements. I will give you the example of my married friends. Our practical exams are conducted not in our city but in the main campus of the university to which our college is affiliated and this is some 300 km away from our city. Usually the exams are wound up in two days. While the unmarried girls go to and fro for the exams under the protection of female lecturers, the married women of our class are accompanied by their husbands, who stay with them for two days in the exam city, leaving their business/job behind. It is not because they don’t trust their wives but they are so much protective about their wives. You have been a very irresponsible husband according to me. If it was not possible for you to stay with her during her exams, you should have arranged for some female relative to stay with her.
Now, as you love her and she also loves you, be a good husband. Forget the past. Forgive your wife because she is repentant. Allah is the most just. No man can escape His justice. The guy who made your wife his prey will certainly face Allah’s wrath someday or in the aaqiraah. Start your life afresh and think not of the past lest you ruin your family life.
Let Allah bestow His boundless mercy on you. Aameen.
As salam aliekum.
I don't understand this. When the question of brother jabbar was answered today by sister maria in a May 2009 post "I feel ill because a man kissed my wife", was there really a need for sister maria to reply again on this post to the same person with greater humility?
Fatima .... you advice is really illogical and doesn't make sense to me at all .
Now back to the question .
YOU WIFE IS THE GUILTY ONE YOU HAVE FUL RIGHT TO BE MAD AND ANGRY . Your wife cannot protest at all . She is the one responsible . It takes two to tango and clearly your wife is equally guilty as that man . Frankly speaking your wife allowed that man to make a move . If your wife did stop him from the beginning ,this incident wouldn't have taken place . Clearly your wife is responsible .
You must thank Almighty Allah that any thing more serious thing didn't happen . Nevertheless my advice to you will be to stictly tell your wife not to indulge in this activity again or else she would be seeing divorce paper. I think you should make sure your wife understand you completely and also make sure that this is the first and last time she did become involved in this sin .
Brother .... you need to man up and tell her clearly ......
Now returning back to Fatima's post ...
And, why should sister sara advice a divorce? Just go to the post “I LOVE HER BUT HER PAST BOTHERING ME” http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/past-bothering-me/comment-page-1/#comment-30319 and see how the topic of forgiveness is elaborately discussed by the commenters. Then, is it not applicable in this case also? Why not simply forgive the wife and become sterner if she is found guilty once again?
This is not past . His wife commited sin while she was married to him so in this case forgiveness is not so easy to give . If this was a past when she didn't marry him then this was another situation but this incident happened during their married life which is absolutely not acceptable
And, if this was after marriage, again it’s your fault that you let your wife stay at a hostel for exam preparation. And, was the hostel in the same place where you stay? You should have made alternate arrangements. I will give you the example of my married friends
No, it is not his fault . This poor husband trusted his wife blindly and his wife took advantage of his blind trust so she is the one who is guilty .
Besides if the same guy who posted this question would have asked you people that whether he must allow his wife to study in a hostel .... you people would have said that the husband is becoming over protective of his wife and he must give his wife some breathing space and allow her to stay in hostel .
I would suggest you not to seek revenge ..... Revenge in the life hereafter is more gruesome . Let Allah deal with this matter .
Asalamoalaikum brother jabbar,
I’m sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation and at the moment I cannot write a detailed reply as I am in a hurry, but inshAllah soon I will. For the mean time, you have been given some good advice so do heed it.
One thing that I do want to respond to is when you claim you want to take revenge from this guy who has ruined your lives. My dear brother, the act was consensual; this man did not force your wife to go physical. I am not saying that you punish both of them but you need to realize that by taking revenge you will only bring in darkness in your heart and all the purity and love you have stored will slowly drift away.
If you think of taking revenge, think of our prophet saw first: read all those stories where people treated him so ill, threw rocks at him, said demeaning things to him, harmed his close friends and family and yet he never took revenge. He was a prophet no doubt, but he was also a human being who felt pain, anger, hurt, etc—he felt all those emotions we feel. We should take him as an example and follow his path inshAllah. Leave revenge, justice, all these issues up to the judge—the one who will rightly punish, serve and protect all of us inshAllah—Allah swt.
You will be rewarded for being patient; do not think that this act of yours will go waste!
-Helping Sister
One thing I’d like to add brother is that it is your choice to either forgive or divorce her. You know the state of your heart best. Although forgiveness would be the best route to go and you will be rewarded immensely inshAllah, you do not have to forgive her.
If I place myself in your situation, I probably wouldn’t be able to forgive my husband. Having a past is different as at that time you did not exist in their life, but when someone marries you and then cheats on you, it’s a completely different thing. So if in your heart you feel that things can never be the same no matter how hard you try, then set yourself and her free, but please do not seek revenge.
-Helping Sister
I agree helping sister ....
I would have divorced instantly if (GOD forbid) my wife did that to me ..... Nobody deserves to be cheated and there is no justification of cheating whatsoever .....
The most annoying part is that she was mother of two and still she had the audacity to commit this sin
I actually agree with you on this, if it was me I would divorce instantly too unfortunately. I do not want to get cheated on again, I know too well that once a cheater is always a cheater. Yes some people change but I do not want to take the chances. Since I have never cheated on anyone & do not wish to ever cheat or put myself in that position, I believe there has to be someone out there who feels the same way I do. I will forgive many things, but I feel as if i may never be able to forgive my husband cheating on me. It would be a deal breaker for me. Once he touches another woman I am gone, this is not only for my emotional well being but also my physical well being too.
Salam Jabbar,
You sound like a wonderful man that loves his wife any other man would already threw his wife out finding she kissed another man. Why Don't you let your wife try online classes, shes a mother of 2 she really doesn't need to be just thinking of her. My husband doesn't even let me go to the gym because the devil can mess up alot peoples lives..!! In my opinion alot of people these days put their hand or swear to the Quran to make it like they're not lying. My BEST opinion get her on online classes at home and for her to stay with her kiddies..!!! Good Luck
Agreed 100%
What sort of man hands a gun to his wife and says "prove yourself"???? This is very very disturbing!!!! I would be more concerned of my own mental state than about seeking revenge. Obviously there is something wrong here. Something VERY wrong and you should stop worrying about that other man and start worrying about YOURSELF!!!!!!
May Allah swt protect your wife and forgive her sins. May Allah swt protect your children most of all. And may He also guide you back to the deen and cure you of this disease of anger your hold in your heart. Ameen
Please seek medical attention. This is NOT normal. This is NOT healthy. No normal person would play with guns in such a manner, especially with his wife. And considering you have chlidren? Wow, this is even more concerning and disturbing. Alhamdulilah she did not get hurt in "proving" to you, a mere human, her "innocence" and "devotion"... I think such matters should be left/between here and Allah swt.
Please do not seek out or use certain hadith to justify your own twisted thoughts and actions. This is not what they are there for. They are merely a guide for us to help show us how best to live in accordance to Islam. Our beloved Prophet sallalahu alayhi wa salaam was the MOST GENTLE of persons to ever exist. If you must use hadiths, then why not focus on those that teach forgiveness, mercy, and pull you closer to things that are more honorable and just and those that will benefit you, your wife, and your children.
For the sake of all involved, please seek help. May Allah swt guide you to that which is right Ameen
Come back and ask people to be gentle and show patience when one of your loved ones betrays you in this manner. The man in question is obviously very very angry and we have all seen how crazy people can go when they are angry. I know people who have pulled out knives when they found out of the girls in their family had been speaking to a boy. I can't even begin to imagine how a husband or a wife feels when it happens to them.
Clearly this man is the victim, he is hurt because of his wive's betrayal. The Prophet PBUH encouraged patience and kindness, but nowhere did he or in Islam does it state you should stick by an adulterer (of a lesser nature). I personally would ask this man to leave his wife, he is simply to angry to ever forgive or forget, I'm similar (except for the gun part) and I know I would rather chew razor blades than ever go back to a person who did this.
Brother you are very angry and hurt, we understand yoru pain, killing and hurting won't get you anywhere, it's best you walk away from this woman, she betrayed you and it seems despite you saying she won't do it again, you're struggling to get the image out of yoru mind.
Leaver her and find yourself another woman, one who will not betray you in this manner, there are plenty of good Muslim women out there for you. As for your wife, I don't feel a single iota of sympathy for her, she went to study it seems, somethign you've not denied her to and she does this. My advice tell her to get lost and get on with your wife, in time your anger will fade and you'll hopefully recover and not doubt anyone in the future.
Agreed John 100%
I'm similar (except for the gun part) and I know I would rather chew razor blades than ever go back to a person who did this"
You would rather chew razor blades then forgive your wife for sinning? It's unfortunate how people today would rather do anything else than forgive someone for hurting them—clearly not what our prophet advised us to do.
I'm not advising this brother to forgive his wife or not: that is his choice and he knows the condition of his heart best, but really we need to put a hold on our emotions and anger, especially if it leads to an extent of taking a gun and telling one’s wife to shoot her leg (even though there is no bullet in it) or claiming to chew razor blades rather than forgiving them.
This suggests to me that people need to spiritually heal their hearts and bring softness within them. Remember, this world is only temporary. Being so stiff hearted is really not a good thing. No one is forcing this brother to forgive his wife but making such drastic claims does get me worried—is it really justifiable for men to express their anger through such ways?
Personally, if I were in this brother’s condition Allah forbid, I too would not be able to forgive my husband due to two things: marriage is a bond based on trust and that is something that if broken once through infidelity can cause deep cracks in a relationship (and I know that I will never be able to trust him completely again), and number two, that he has physically enjoyed himself with another woman—in any way and that’s something that is hard for me to swallow.
I would probably divorce him but I wouldn’t take a gun and tell him to shoot himself to prove that he regrets what he has done or chew razor blades then forgive him. I rather leave revenge and justice up to Allah swt, He is the only one that can avenge me the best, inshAllah.
If you really can’t forgive someone who has wronged you, you don’t have to, that’s your prerogative, but to seek revenge or to harm oneself rather than forgiving the person for wronging you is where I see the flaw arise.
-Helping Sister
Important correction:
If you really can’t forgive someone who has wronged you, you don’t have to, that’s your prerogative, but to seek revenge or to harm oneself for wronging you is where I see the flaw arise.
You don't have to forgive if you don't want to, but don't end up hurting yourself or others in order to reduce your emotional pain.
-Helping Sister
I HAVE been betrayed in such a way. AND, I was left with children to raise with not a single penny to my name, any possessions, nor a place to live. I had to start all over alone.... All because my ex had an affair with a woman and decided he no longer wanted me or the children. It is extremely painful to go through. Had I acted in the manner the poster has, or decided to throw knives and harm my ex, not only would I have hurt myself, my children and my ex, but I would most likely be in jail as well.
Adultery can bring out the worst in a person. BUT, when someone decides to take it a step further and do things such as playing with guns and knives, then that is NOT healthy or conducive to the situation. To insinuate that such things are "normal" for some is also dangerous and not healthy.
I do agree with you that he should leave. He also should seek help with his mental state. Nothing , no amount of pain or heartache you suffer justifies an act of violence. I do not care what you say. It doesn't.
I did not reply in haste nor did I reply in sympathy for the wife's actions of Zina nor do I think that a person should stay with someone who does this. However, if you read anything into my reply, then you will see that I do feel for her as human being in regards to her life and protection of it--and that is my primary concern when reading this post. If this poster feels such anger, to the point he would act so foolishly, then surely he needs to take a step back and evaluate things.
I live with the pain of what happened to me every single day, as do my children. I also carry with me a distrust that I pray that I can someday overcome. Adultery is something that destroys lives. But it should not destroy lives to the point that people start to take justice in their own hands resulting in violence. It solves NOTHING! Not a thing! It only hurts the situation more.
I would like to say I failed to make myself more clear in regards to your comment John(with my comment). Please know that I did read your comment and do not mean to sound as if you were saying the Brother is right or justified. You clearly are telling him the same thing everyone is, that he should not result to such violent acts.
I apologize if I have upset anyone or if I made it seem as if you were justifying his actions--I see that you were not. You were simply giving an example. I will be more careful in choosing my words. The last thing I want is this post to derail and turn into each of us bickering over what is right or wrong in such situations. I think we're all pretty much in agreement here as to what this Brother should do.
Assalamu Alaykom
I agree with you 100% I have been cheated on before & know how devastating it feels. I also know that if I had done anything violent to him I would have been in jail for life. This is not the way to go, I am not saying that what this woman did was right, i believe what she did was completely wrong & I do not want anyone to have to go through the pain of finding out that their husband/wife committed adultery. But it seemed that the woman was sincere in her apology, giving her a second and last chance will be the best as some people make mistakes and fall to sin. We are not perfect. If she does it again, Divorce.
What gets to me is that he made her swear on the Quran. Brother, you can not swear on the Quran for anything, this is Allah's word, & can not be used for proving that we are telling the truth. This is much more serious than that & it is not the same as being in a courtroom & having to swear on the Bible. Please do not use the Quran or make someone use the Quran to prove him/her right.
Also, brother you need to see a psychiatrist or a therapist as soon as possible because what you made your wife do with that gun is not acceptable or even considered normal behavior. If Allah forbid the gun was accidentally loaded (if you somehow forget it was) and she had hurt herself badly, you will be the one to blame. You are taking this too seriously, I know this is painful but know that many of us have gone through this & have not taken drastic measures.
Please stop using Prophet's example to your own advantage , women at that time were much much better than today's women and they never betrayed the trust of their husband who trusted them blindly . Are females like that , if they are not like that then why do they ask their husbands to treat them as queens . There must be equality in marriage . If the love and respect is not mutual then the marriage is bound to fail . Why is that you people always tell a man to follow prophet's example . Why can't you women follow hazart ayesha , khadija and other muslim women at that time . It is so easy to point figures at others but it is really difficult to correct yourself .
Can't you see the crime his wife committed . All that you are seeing is the husbands action . His wife is the one who provoked him .
I agree with this part you said:
"There must be equality in marriage . If the love and respect is not mutual then the marriage is bound to fail ."
But the rest does not make much sense. Not all women are like this. I do not know what you meant by "women at that time were much much better than today's women" if your own mother is a part of today's women. What do you mean by that? do you mean western women? God fearing muslimas? All women?
Many women are infact trustworthy & loyal to their husbands. I find it odd that some men are quick to say this about some women, but are not so quick seeing how men are. Men are visual creatures, they are more vulnerable to committing zina. So how come you are blaming only the women here?
"they never betrayed the trust of their husband who trusted them blindly"
But what about the women who blindly trusted their husbands but were cheated on? What do you have to say about that?
"Why is that you people always tell a man to follow prophet's example . Why can't you women follow hazart ayesha , khadija and other muslim women at that time ."
Alot of women follow the example of Kadijah(peace be upon her) and other muslim women at that time. So why are you blaming all women just because of some? You do not know how ALL muslimas are so you have no right to even say that.
"Can't you see the crime his wife committed . All that you are seeing is the husbands action . His wife is the one who provoked him ."
Yes we see this, we know that what she did is a grave sin. May Allah forgive her for that. But that doesnt give her husband the right to give her a gun to shoot herself on the leg out of "loyalty". The husband clearly has some issues going on with him that he needs to fix, insecurity or whatever it is, he is ready to kill another man over this. He is ready to take a life of another human being, even after the wife says she will not do it again.
I don't agree with you at ALL
You don't have to. InshAllah one day Allah will show you, either in this life or the next.
-Pepper
Pepper I think you are missing the point.
The Next life there will no trials only reward for what you did.
Agree with Muslim man at some degree.
And Pepper you are comparing the best of best women of Islam with Muslim women of this
generation.
Muslim women of this generation is like any women of this generation except they have label stickers of
Muslim on them. Truth is really bitter to bare that's why there is lot of concealing going on in the
Muslim Community.
Agreed MAA 100%
No MAA i think you are missing my point, you said in the next life we will be rewarded for what you did but you failed to mention that you will also be punished for what you did as well. I never said anything about any trials.
Second, ofcourse the best of best women of Islam were during our beloved Prophet's (peace be with him) time. There is no argument over that & no comparison.
But why say "Muslim women of this generation is like any women of this generation except they have label stickers of Muslim on them" & generalize all Muslim women women. Even the women of that time were not perfect either. Or else none of them would come to the Prophet(peace be upon him) to help them. Of course if you are a woman, you may not be perfect. & If you are a man, you & your wife may not be perfect either.
Yes some women are like that but there are also other women who are Muslim women & do what they are supposed to do, the best they can do. They do not need men who seen a couple of corrupt women & generalize all Muslim women as being like that.
I can say the same for men also. I guess you are right, the truth is really bitter to bear, on both sides. 🙂
-Pepper
Pepper .....Men do not need women who see a couple of corrupt men & generalize all men as being like that.
I agree , for sure
what is I meant by reward is dual meaning: both reward in a good and bad way according to your actions and intentions.
Some Muslim women are actually most Muslim women, because they are not representing the internet like you are.
I am just simply talking about human desires.
I did not say it is good or bad. But comparing the best women/men of Islam with current Muslims does not
make sense. Give me a example from your community or somebody you know that has character like the
Muslims of 7th century. (Best Generation of Islam who materialized Islamic teachings in a proper Sunnah way)
You see more Muslim girls in hideous relationships compared to Muslim men.
reminds me of a hadith "If you are shameless, then do whatever you please"
I will give you one example.
If Muslim guy talks to a Muslim girl, she will pretend to be shy and will not open however this same
Muslim girl will go all the way with the non-Muslim guy, to do whatever she pleases.
And stop taking quotes from my statement. I think you cannot think properly.
You just like to back fire things at people without appreciating what are they are trying to say.
Pepper is a spice and only like to put things on hot fire
Do not generalize all Muslim women. In doing so, you insult and slander your own sisters. If you've had a bad experience with one Muslim woman, that is no reason to paint all Muslim women in this bad light.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
P.S. I am not approving any more "male versus female" comments. It's ridiculous and a waste of time, and only serves to alienate one half of the Ummah from the other half. I just deleted a half dozen such comments.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
MAA, I have placed you on moderated status because you continue to write insulting comments toward Muslim women. I don't know why your heart is full of such bitterness and scorn toward women, but may Allah ease your heart and heal your spirit.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As a editor you must allow counter arguments ...
I have no problem with counter arguments and I approve comments all the time from people who disagree with me. However, there are exceptions:
1. Comments that are disrespectful will be deleted. Also, harsh or cruel comments directed at a questioner, with no constructive advice, are deleted.
2. Comments that make generalized or bigoted comments about entire races and nationalities will be deleted.
3. In the same vein, I will not allow generalized insults toward Muslim women, or toward Muslim men. It's not productive. If a sister says, "All Muslim men are abusive jerks", that goes in the trash. If a brother says, "Muslim women are pathetic, selfish, and unkind," that goes to the trash. I realize there are a lot of men who feel alienated from Muslim women, and vice versa. What we need is honest and constructive dialogue, not insults and generalizations.
4. Lastly, comments that demean this website and the Editors are deleted.
Those are the rules and they are set in stone. Aside from that, people can discuss freely and disagree.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you brother Wael,
What MAA said is highly offensive, of course I can not compare myself to the Muslim women back then, but that does not make me less of a Muslim, times have changed, we are faced with more challenges than ever before. Western culture itself is a challenge for us. Blaming everything on the muslim women is more of Christianity's s point of view, where Eve was blamed for putting Adam into this world & tempting him to fall into sin. Islam came to destroy that belief & put equality between the souls of both men and a women.
wael
I think you are just trying to win some people's hearts over some. Please, stop this. Give everybody
a chance. This is not women's blog where they can claim how much they are suffering. Men and women both suffer.
MAA, just cool it. Women are women. They could be noble, honourable and pious. They could be just the opposite of good. I understand where you are coming from. Please pray to God for betterment and stop the crap
hey bro,
let me tell u 1 thing. if ur wife slept with that man, then u must with a cool head analyze y she did that.
no married female, whether muslim or non-muslim, will do such a thing unless she is a...
(Remainder of comment deleted by Editor)
Sameer Khan,
I have just noticed that you have submitted comments full of disgusting and offensive language. This website is a place for friendly advice, not for people like you to vent your foul thoughts. Please take account of yourself. May Allah soften your soul and heart towards kindness and good manners, aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I understand that you have a lot of anger towards your wife and this man, your trust was taken for granted and violated, you feel very betrayed and hurt. And yes it does take 2 to tango, there are always two participants in situations like this, however killing either one of them or both of them is not the answer. You will not feel better after taking revenge, you will just place a dark spot on your heart, that will leave it tainted with the murder of another. It will also not fix your anger in the long run, you might feel better in the moment, but that feeling will pass, you will still have issues trusting her or another woman again to not take advantage of your trusting nature. I recommend you pray for the strength to deal with this without harming anyone, to pray for hers and his souls that are lost at this time and need guidance terribly. Allah will punish them for their discrepencies, right now you should find a healthy outlet for your anger. Maybe you can go to the firing range and shoot targets there and imagine it to be one of them, but I encourage you to let Allah deal with them as He sees fit and to not take another persons life. I hope and pray you find a healthy, positive solution. By murdering one of them or both of them you are hurting those who care about them as well, their families and friends, consider the repercussions on others for murder before taking the initiative to become a murderer, not only that but whatkind of life you will have, one in prison. Good luck.
Nicole
Thanks Nicole for your comment. I recently discovered my Mother sleeping with a third-rate Character, and cheating on my Father. This, among other things, led to their divorce but it has severely affected me. I don't believe in Allah's capacity to exact anything... I feel Allah is gutless. I have been a School and University Ace, but when I saw in how pitiable a fashion my home crumbled, while I was away, and how various people conspired to destroy it (and succeeded, while Allah slept), I had made up my mind to carry out at least one execution. I procured a long-range weapon, and secretly trained with the assistance of a friend. My job was to execute the *hole, who had done the greatest damage, using the procured weapon, from a sufficient range, such that a getaway would be possible. I was planning to do it rather soon, but then I came across your post and now I am re-thinking. I thought Muhammad had declared the punishment of stoning to death or public lashing for such undignified people, so that they are publically disgraced. But then again, I think Allah is gutless (I don't deny his existence, only his gut and potency). Reminds me a of a quote I read somewhere, a remark by some old-school thinker, "God is Dead. God remains Dead."
It's not Allah's job to force people to behave perfectly or make them into angels on earth. Do not blame Allah for the actions of human beings.
Indeed, there are severe punishments for adultery, but only if there are witnesses to the act and it is proven in an Islamic court. In Western nations and even in most Muslims nations such provisions are not enforced. And it is certainly not up to you to take the law into your own hands. If you did, you would be nothing more than a murderer.
Allah gives perfect justice in the end, either in this world or the next. Everything is seen and written, including your own actions. You will have to stand before Allah one day and account for your own deeds. I suggest you focus on that, rather than on meaningless retribution against other people.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
wow you gave your wife pistol to fire herself on the leg
either you are trolling or this is beyond belief
killing the boy will not give you any satisfaction, your wife was also part of the crime, she was not forced, but did it willingly
firing the pistol i think doesn't prove anything, your wife wants to save her marriage and her children and her honour desperately and would do anything to regain trust, it is my opinion, realities might be different