Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He divorced her for no reason

Red button with divorce written on top.

Assalam walaikum dear brothers and sisters.

I am a new member at your precious blog . Please excuse me if I offend any one's personal life. It's completely unintentional.
My sister got married in the month of January. Both my sister and my past brother in law liked each other. After 3 years of waiting, finally our parents and the boy's parents agreed to the marriage. Well, so far so good. The marriage commenced beautifully this January.

After 3 months into her marriage, she left for her mother's place to renew her VISA, as she was not residing in India. It took some time there abroad to get the paper work done, but eventually all was set. She was about to come back to her husband's home when, to her shock, just 2 days before her departure her husband called her up and divorced her on the phone without any valid reason. When asked, he said his parents didn't want her anymore. During her stay away from her husband she tried calling her father in law, but he didn't respond to her calls.

As we stayed abroad, it became ruthlessly expensive for all us members to travel back to India and commence the marriage, but we accomplished it through hard ways and got the marriage done. Now the marriage has been broken from the boy's side without any valid reason, and neither did the boy's parents try talking once with the girl's parents to see what was the issue. No indication of such a step was given before hand. Who do you feel is in the wrong?

Secondly, we spent over 35 lacs/Indian rupees, some of which  the expenses have not been included either. How much should one person demand for a refund? The girl's life has been ruined, thanks to the boy and his parents.
I don't want haram, I am just asking for what is correct. We didn't want any divorce. The boy's side should have spoken to girl's side before making such a big step. Well, now it's all over for the girl.

Please enlighten me with your precious and helpful advice. May Allah guide us on the straight path, and save us from zalimun and being zalim, Ameen. We spent on the entire interior decoration of the boy's house, and many things we did out of our lives, and this is what we get in return. How can a person- especially a Muslim- be so hard hearted? Allah knows best. We will all return to Him, and He will judge. Verily He is the best of judges. Our financial position after the marriage is quite low, and now we also must take back our sister from those ruthless people.

-adildaroga


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9 Responses »

  1. You seem very caring and concerned about what has happened. But your focus seems to be overwhelmingly on the financial aspect of the repudiated marriage, the cost of the wedding etc. Understandably your family feels cheated by this man's conducted, but the main goal for you right now is to lessen the emotional impact on your sister. Contrary to what you write in your post, her life is NOT ruined. It is not "all over" for her. In fact, she's lucky this man showed his true colours early on. What if this had been a long term marriage with several children in the picture? Short term marriage -- less emotional attachment, and she's young enough to get married again and have children still.
    Please focus on supporting your sister during this difficult time. Money is like water through our fingers, it disappears very quickly if we're not careful. Forget about the cost of the wedding -- it won't help your sister.

  2. Hello sister .... feeling sad for what happened with ua sister ....
    There is not doubt that u have got cheated by an indian...
    Well the thing I personally dont understand is that "can we buy love by giving someone lots of money or something?.... no we cant he will not be with u cox of love but cox of money u gave to him ..... one who want to accept u as a wife will accept u without a single penny in reward....then one more thing the solution to this problem is if it all about money then in the nikkah nama signed by ua sis and her husband the haq mehar would be written .... u can ask him and his family for that haq mehar and u can also get it through legal workout ...
    Hope u have that nikkah nama and haq mehar written....
    And ask ua sis to say prayers five times regularly and after every dua recite tasbeeh e zahra.... Allah will help u inshallah ..... regards .... muhammad ali ( pakistan )

  3. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. As far as I know, a woman is only entitled to her mahr after a divorce her husband has given her. And I believe he's obligated to provide for her for a certain period of time (during iddah?). I'm not sure, though. I'm only certain that she's entitled to keep her mahr.

    • Salaams,

      A woman is entitled to her mahr as soon as the nikkah takes place, unless SHE agrees to receive it at a later time. If the couple divorces, you are correct that she is entitled to keep the mahr unless she forfeits it under khula. Once it's given to her, it belongs to her as solidly as her own shoes.

      The husband is also required to maintain her during iddah, just like he would if she was married. In fact, he is not even allowed to kick her out of the marital home.

      In this situation, it seems the bride's family is trying to recover the cost of the wedding and the amount spent toward helping the new couple establish themselves. It seems that those costs were given as gifts to the couple, and those aspects will need to be ironed out between the husband and the wife. Once a gift is given, the giver is no longer entitled to it.

      Unfortunately, it does happen where families spend extravagant amounts on weddings, parties, homes and furnishings etc; and the marriage doesn't work out. Perhaps this should be a lesson to parents of couples not to put such a costly investment into something, because once you part with that money there is no getting it back.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. OP: Was the marriage ever consummated? You sister may know if there were psychological issues with this man, like extreme anger, controlling personality etc? How long your sister stayed away from her husband? Did her husband agree to her going away to get her visa renewed? It is important also to know if the family has done this to other girls to make money?

    • SVS - how are any of these questions important? How will the answers help the OP?

      • Precious Star: .. In my opinion, to help family find closure to this shocking incidence, to lessen the emotional impact on the family and help them move on.

        • Asking the OP to find out if his sister's marriage was consummated does not help the family move on nor does that detail effect closure for the family. It is the girl's concern.

  5. i divorced by my husband after 2 month of my marrige.he spend time with a married girl alone in a hotel before marrige.i came to know after marrige by his fb chatting.i cant tolarate this. quarreled with him a lot during 2 month.sudenly he divorced me.i just want forget the divorce in a islamic way

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