Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Do I abort for the sake of my mother?

I am 22 years old, and currently in a relationship of 5 years. We planned to be married much sooner however I am terribly afraid of disappointing my mother, as she has spent her entire life fighting the odds to raise me and my other two siblings.

However, I have recently discovered that I am 6weeks pregnant. Do I abort for the sake of my mother or do I leave home and raise the child with my partner?

Please help.



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9 Responses »

  1. OP: I am 22 years old, and currently in a relationship of 5 years......However, I have recently discovered that I am 6 weeks pregnant. Do I abort for the sake of my mother or do I leave home and raise the child with my partner?

    Get married to your partner. Tell your mom you are pregnant.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    My honest advice to you would be that you should continue with the pregnancy, tell your mother, and take steps to get married to your partner.

    A new life is developing inside you, and is a blessing from Allah. You have been entrusted with it, to keep it safe and protect it. Don't end a life because someone else (even your mother) might be disappointed in you - give this pregnancy, this baby, a chance. Your mother may be unhappy about the circumstances, but inshaAllah she is likely to come around to the idea of becoming a grandmother, and inshaAllah she will be supportive once she comes to terms with things.

    Midnightmoon editor

  3. Sister,

    Sit down with your mother and spill the beans. Is your partner of five years willing to put a ring on your finger? If so, I would strongly advise that you both tie the knot and make your relationship halal. You my dear are going to be a mother. You said yourself that your mother has been fighting her entire life against the odds of raising you and your siblings. Well, now it is time for you to grow up and take some responsibility for the predicament you find yourself in. Never for a moment even consider aborting your unborn child. Your child has a right to live, breath, run, play and experience all that you have and more. Please don't delay in speaking with your mother, it needs to be done consequences be dammed.


  4. I find these situations so sad! You're mum has been working hard to raise you and your siings and you've been committing zina behind her back and to top it all off you're consudering leaving home to go raise the baby with you're 'partner'! Are you not worried about the stress you will cause because of that? Talk to your mum she deserves to be included in whatever decision you make.

  5. Why don't I just get married quickly is he is muslim.
    Do isitikharah ..but don't loose ur kid. I feel...if need be explain to ur mum why u want to get married or why it's portal to get married.look nikkah is simple and easy ...just get permission inshallah

  6. Assalaamu Alaykum,

    I would just like to point out that the disappointment against your mother is not that you got pregnant. The pregnancy is only evidence of the real disappointment, that you have been engaging in a haraam relationship and committing zina for several years. I think deep down admitting that you have been making that choice is hurting you worse than the fact of the baby that is coming.

    As others have said, the baby is the innocent party in all this. The baby shouldn't pay the price of your mistakes by having its life taken from it. You have to assume the role now that your mother has been doing, namely to work hard and make sacrifices to give your child the best chances in life. So here is your first task in that: to accept that this child is now a part of your life and accept that your choices always had the potential to bring such an outcome.

    I don't know the situation with the baby's father. You never mentioned if he is Muslim. If he is not, there is no option of marrying him, and unfortunately it would be islamically adviseable for you to end that relationship with him altogether. If he is Muslim, then he and you need to do what is right in the eye's of Allah and marry.

    Your mom has lived many years, and I'm sure by now she has learned to deal with tests and adversity. I wouldn't be surprised if she wondered or worried that this could happen to you (or your sisters, if you have any). Sure she won't be happy, and would've wished better for you, but you may be surprised about how some mothers sort of expect things to go differently than planned with their kids. In addition, you will really need her support and help when you have the baby and throughout the pregnancy, so the sooner you tell her the more time that gives her to adjust to the change and develop a more realistic view of what her relationship with you and that baby will look like in times to come.

    May Allah strengthen the ties of your family and give this child guidance and protection from all kinds of evil, amin.

    -Amy Editor

  7. I agree with above advices and I too think you should tell your mum the truth dont abort the child and get married. Your situation is quite sad and common in this world. People should not commit these sort of acts they only cause more pain.

  8. if you are unable to provide for your kid because of any reason then you may want to consider giving him or her up for adoption.

  9. I feel like you should sit down and talk with your mother and explain. She will understand. Don't even consider aborting the baby.

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