Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Do I have to marry him?

Taking Oath on The Quran

Taking Oath on The Quran

Someone asked my mom for my hand for her son, however I did not accept the proposal.

Now its been a while my mom has been pushing me to accept it but my decision remains still, so today something else happened... today my mom told me that guy's mom had handed her the Quran or Yaseen (not sure which one) pleading her to accept the proposal and my mom TOOK the Quran/Yaseen from  her and said she will, thinking it is a must for one to give an individual something that they've asked for if they've requested it by giving you the Quran.

And now my mom is scared, shes saying she's scared to back off because something bad might happen to us (me or my family) because she took the Quran from her and said yes she will.

Is what my mom thinks true? Many people backhome would do this when asking for someone's hand and people in result would accept thinking they had no choice so now im wondering...



Tagged as: , , , , , , ,

5 Responses »

  1. Superstition and nothing else. If you marry him, it's your culture and your fear of disappointing your mother that will cause the marriage to take place, and nothing more.

  2. I have never heard of this. It sounds like a superstition someone wrapped in a turban and declared Islamic..

  3. How come your mom did not tell you the very first day she talked to you about the marriage? Is your potential husband a relative of yours?

    Why don't you want to marry him? Are there compatibility issues? If you don't like him at all, there is no use of getting married and possibly divorce him?

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    If you don't want to marry him, then don't marry him.
    Islamically, a woman has the right to accept or decline any proposal, without coercion - stand up for your Islamic rights. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was reported to have said:
    "A non-virgin should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission". The people asked, O Allah’s Messenger! How can we know her permission? He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)". [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
    Forced marriage has no place in Islam, so don't give it a place in your life.

    We should treat the Quran with respect, as it is the unaltered guidance of Allah. So we shouldn't go around using it as a bargaining tool or giving it to people in order to get what we want. If we follow that line of thinking, should we take copies to job interviews or attach it to our university exams? Nobody should use the Quran as a way of manipulating others.

    Politely but firmly tell your mother that you have no desire to marry this guy, that you have already declined the proposal and are not about to change your mind, and that while you appreciate that she wants this match, it is your life and you must do what is right for you. Yes, it might be a bit embarrassing for her to have to explain to the other woman that the marriage won't go ahead, but a bit of embarrassment now is surely preferable to having her daughter feel forced into an unwanted marriage.

    Midnightmoon editor

  5. You already posted your question in the comments and I advised you there. If you had a post pending then you should have waited for your own post to be published.

    This post is now closed.

    Wael Editor