Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Do I need a divorce from the man who left me?

Salam, my husband left a year ago and he refused to give me a divorce. We had nikah only and he says it doesnt matter it was only Nikah which does not count in this country (UK) as marriage. But im not sure if he is correct.

Divorce decree

Do I require a Talaq from him or could I just forget about him. We had only been married 2 months and I had to ask him to leave as he was drinking and would use foul language and would become abusive towards me and my children from previous marriage.

After he left he wanted to meet me outside secretly which I felt degrading; so he has moved on that is he is with other women. I asked him for talaq if he didnt want to be with me properly as MUSLIM husband and wife. He refused saying he is not married to me and that he would deny it.

Its been 8 months, I have not contacted him about it. I feel I am still married to him and some time I wish he will become righteous man and come back to me.

WHAT DO I DO? I cant move on without the talaq.

- lonely1

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3 Responses »

  1. Assalaamu alaikum sister,

    Of course you cant move on without the talaaq. You are right about that. The civil marriage is not what counts but NIKAH is what binds you together into becoming husband and wife. By God's law, nikah is necessary not any other form of civil marriage.

    I like in the UK too and sister you dont have to put up with this. You obviously need to contact your husband and try to talk to him about the matter. Get him to come to his senses as Allah orders the believing men in the Quran to either keep your wife and live with them honourably or leave them with kindness. It is 'haram' for a man to leave his wife in limbo like that..but unfortunately, many a men these days like to leave their wives like that and go around with other women themselves, misusing the permissibily of polygamy.

    You know your problems and whether you want to make it work with him or leave it...but by the sounds of it, unless he doesnt make some serious changes in his life - like stop drinking etc, then its in your best interest to leave him for good and start life afresh without someone who will be tempting you to turn away from Allah too by his evil actions. YOu also have children to think u want them to grow up seeing that? How will it influence them?
    Unless he truly repents of course..then you can make it work out inshallah.

    As I think will be the case from what you've mentioned, he will refuse the divorce. I find it rediculous that he has gone as far as denying the marriage just coz its not a civil one. Whether he accepts it or not makes no difference really as the fact stays that you two are married. What you can do sister is contact the ISLAMIC SHARIA COUNCIL in the UK. I know they have an office in London. They deal with issues like khula etc...a lot of issues similar to urs where husbands desert their wives and refuse to give talaaq or keep them. If he is refusing it u need to have a sheikh/imaan grant u khula and free you from this marriage so that you CAN then move on inshallah and not keep looking back.
    Check this out..their URL. All the info and help they can provide you should be found here inshallah. Present your case to the sheikhs inshallah.

    May Allah swt be with you , Ameen.

    • I completely agree with Faith. She has given some good advice. I suggest that the first step would be to contact the Imam who conducted your nikah. Explain the situation and ask him to speak to your husband and request a talaq.

      Wael Editor

  2. i have a civil divorce from my ex husband do i need a muslim talaqq from my husband what can i do please help m,e and guide me on what i can do and how much it costs please help.

    yours faithfully

    beauty begum

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