Do I owe her marriage?
As salaamu alaikum
I was planning to get marries to a girl. We fell into fitna in the process and fell into zina. We were both virgins.
We repented and decided to try to get married.
Sombody else has now proposed to me and im thinking of marrying her instead because i think we would work better.
Am i wrong. Do i owe the first girl marraige. Do i destroy her life. What do i do
Jakir
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subhaanAllaah Jakir
Of course you Owe her marriage!! If you loved her so much that you couldn't help yourself, but had to go and Deflower a Muslim girl, then by Allaah SWT you must love her enough to Marry her. Repent to Allaah for doing Zina (a Major Sin!!), and also Sincerely repent for your Grossly Selfish thought of marrying Another girl instead!
If he loved her so much he would have tried so hard to control himself, a woman is full of pity and in situations like this she must be very strong but majority are weak and make the wrong decision
Yes sister, controlling himself would have been the Right thing to do. Still for a young man, with testosterone running riot in his body that's no mean task, especially if the girl is full of pity. So I pray that Al Wudu, in His Mercy forgives them, if they now do what is right and get Married.
yes you are wrong and selfish too
Just to put things in perspective, would you like it if a man had sex with your sister before marriage, and then left her to marry some other girl?
Take responsibility for your actions. If you were not willing to marry this girl, then you shouldn't have had sex with her.
Both of you should ask for forgiveness from Allah for committing Zina, and marry each other.
If you would marry her just because you think it's the right thing to do and you don't have any feelings for her and you won't keep her happy then do not marry her because that would only complicate her life further.marry her if you can keep her happy
I agree with Aina's advice. You should not marry this girl just because you feel that you owe her marriage. Nobody owes anyone marriage even if you have slept with that person.
You should only marry someone because you genuinely care about that person and wish to make a life with them and believe that they will aid you in your religious commitments.
This brother no longer loves the first girl. He has become attracted to someone else. Is it really the best advice to give to him to say he should marry her regardless of how he feels about her? Is guilt any reason to marry someone?
Jakir I think you have hurt her enough. You have slept with her, and betrayed her by considering someone else for marriage. Please do not ruin her life any more by marrying her if you no longer care about her.
Leave her to heal. Let her go. I would give this advice even if the girl in question was my sister. I would hate for a man to marry my sister out of guilt.
As for the other girl who has approached you for marriage... I think you should not marry anyone right now. You have made a lot of mistakes. You need time to repent and strengthen your connection with Allah swt. You need time to reflect on how your actions have affected yourself and others. You need to learn lessons from your mistakes.
This is not the time to be rushing into a relationship with anyone else.
It depends on where you can do the most good. If you're going to marry the girl you did zina with at least both of you will be aware of your deeds and if you can maintain that relationship then do that. But if you're going to bring up 10 years from now that you should've gone for the other offer and treat this woman poorly then spare her and don't marry her now.
If you marry the other offer, I recommend telling that girl that you've already committed zina as most likely she is under the impression that you haven't. This way you'be being honest with what you're offering her and she isn't being led to believe that she's getting something she's not.