Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Does a long separation break the Nikah?

Marital Separation

Does living separately break the Nikkah?

I am married for 10 years and have 4 kids and now due to many problems between us we have decided that we won't live together: I will live outside our home country where I am working now and my wife will live in our home country with my kids.

It is not that we cannot live together but we do not want to live together for at least  one year. My question is that will this decision break our nikah? Because I have heard that if husband and wife are separated from each other for 4 months the nikah breaks.

Please help

- abdullah08

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130 Responses »

  1. Abdullah, As-salamu alaykum,

    The answer is no, your separation does not break your nikah. What you heard about being apart for four months only applies when the husband has sworn an oath that he will not have conjugal relations with his wife. And even then the divorce is not automatic, but the wife has the right to seek divorce.

    See this post on Zawaj.com where the exact same question was answered by Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi:

    Does a long separation amount to divorce?

    Regards,

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor Salam

      I have posted my comment last 31/5/2013 but till today u have not yet published...why????

      I m eagerly waiting everyday to see my post being published but now it seems its of no use...as we husband & wife are already going to seperate...

      • aslk,

        may Allah(swt) have mercy on you and your spouse. do you pray fajr ? if not pray every day and make dua, sooner you will get answers to your problems from Allah(swt).

    • We have separated for 10 years , but I have tried to re conciliate all this time as we have a child and have not given talaq , can my wife marry another man?

    • Hi I am married for 2 years in Feb it will be 3. My husband and I have been living seperatly for more than a year. He turned to drugs and he was so into it that he started stealing and selling the stuff to buy drugs. He hasn't even bothered about me and our child. He only recently went to rehab. I wanted to know is our nikkah still valid. Because during my pregnancy we weren't married and he was flirting will my cousin and all. From the time he has been on drugs he hasnt contacted me from our first eid this year. We haven't been in contact since then. He only contacted me the weekend that he had been locked up and then when he was on he's way to rehab. After that he hasn't contacted me. Can yourl help me and tell me whats going on

  2. As-salamu alaykum

    i got married in July 2009 in Pakistan and my husband came to England in December 2009 but in February 2010 we separated and we moved out of house we lived in together. now we have been living separately for more then 9 months. but in all that time i have been asking for a divorce from my husband but he hasn't given me the divorce. now i have heard from a friend that if i have separated from my husband for more than 3 months then i automatically should have been divorced in Islamic. now i wanted to now that is this was right. and if it is right then am i free to get married again to someone else. if not then what can i do to get Islamic divorce, how long will it take and after the divorce how long is that after i can get married.

    thanks you

    • areej, the information you were given is not correct. 3 months separation does not automatically mean divorce. You need to ask your husband for a proper divorce, and if he refuses (and you are determined to proceed) then go to the court and request khul'ah.

      If you want a more detailed answer, please log in and write your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. having separated life from 1996, now intend to remarry. family doesn't allow to go to court for divorce. can i get fatwa regarding this matter.

    • Nosheen,

      We do not give fatwas on this website as we are not Imams/Muftis. We just give common sense advice. All I can say on this matter is this: If your family are causing hinderances in you moving on in life, especially as you have been separated for 15 years now, its high time you took a little control of your life and made a few decisions for yourself - don't you think?

      Please consult with a qualified Imam/Mufti regarding your case.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Assalamualaikum.
    My name is Usama.I love a girl which is 22 years old.She is in nikkah of someone else since 14 months but Rukhsati has not done yet.She does not like him and she loves me very much and she wants to marry me.So i want to ask that she is not in relation with that guy since 14 months but still in nikkah..is her nikkah is still valid?

    • Usama, if the nikah has been completed then she is legally married and you must stay away from her and have no contact with her. It doesn't matter if 14 months have passed with no relations with her husband, that is none of your business.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • But i heared that from my friends that if she is in not relation with him till 1 year ( including body relations ) so her nikah is not still valid..is it true or false??

        • Assalamoualaikoum, the only two factors that breaks up a nikah is 3 talaaq and death of one person.. Apart from that Does a long separation break the Nikah?
          The answer is no, your separation does not break your nikah. What you heard about being apart for four months only applies when the husband has sworn an oath that he will not have conjugal relations with his wife. And even then the divorce is not automatic, but the wife has the right to seek divorce.
          So, you have to be away from that gurl even she doesn't love her husband, if her husband didnt give her talaaq so her nikah stands.

        • that's wrong, the reason of not being together could be anything, my rukhsati took place approximately 15 months after my nikkah and we both live together now, the reason was my paper work and visa and no matter what the reason can be they're married until they don't divorce..

    • I am afraid I disagree with you regarding nothing breaks a nikkah.
      Does the husband not have a right to provide for his wife should she be living apart. Does he not have duties as a husband towards her.
      I remember many years ago I seeked advice from the sharia court in London who advised me that should you have been divorced in the civil court and have lived apart over two years without any contribution from your husband this is automatic divorce.
      The terms are he has to fulfil his duties as a husband regardless of seperation. The fact he has signed the papers of the civil divorce is proof he has agreed to the divorce.
      This shows you do not need to go through islamic divorce.
      Allah knows best.

  5. Hello everyone !!

    it has been 3 years that i am married but in the recent two years i am very confused about my nekah.

    (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  6. i gt married wen i was 16. my husband kept me by force in bangladesh till i was old enough to apply for him. during our marriage he use to beat violently he didnt let me talk to any member of my family n on many occations he had beat me badly n soon after that raped me. i didnt understand weather this was allowed in islam n weather a husband had rights to force his wife. he was also cheating on me n he would sit infront of me talking to other women on the phone. i was terrified for myself n my small child. i had totally only had hate for him inside my heart n jus wanted to get awy bk to the uk wer my family wer. bt i had no contact. i am now 23 n i came bk to the uk last yr. i told my husbands family in order to apply for him i have to b in the uk bt in my head i just wanted to leave. since iv come bk iv seeked divorce bt he wont gv me divorce bt is thinking to re marry. i sent out the papers for khulla bt he's ignored the notice. no way will he divorce me bt i would like to remarry in the future for the sake of my daughter n hope i find a decent muslim. bt would i be automatically divorced if i have no contact n in my head n heart i dont think of this man as my husband. because someone that totures their wife cannot be a good husband. i no divorce isnt right n i have a daughter bt i had no option i tried so hard to make it work bt im not willing to be tortured n abused all my life. please tell me what i cn do.

    • shuma, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Couldn't you just answer her Question. Look at her situation, and you are asking her to retype the whole thing. Have some compassion for gods sake.

        • Everyone who writes to us is in a difficult situation. We answer their questions in the order received. We currently have a queue of 70 questions waiting to be published. Everyone must submit their question as a separate post and wait their turn, otherwise it's not fair to the others who are patiently waiting.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. Asalamwalikum, I was just wondering if I had my nakah done two years before moving into my husbands house and having no sexual contact would my nakah break?

    • Being apart from your husband does not break the nikah, nor does lack of sexual contact. In fact, as far as I know, nothing "breaks" a nikah. And Allah knows best.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. Hi just wanted to know.. me and my husband had a big argument and he said talaak 3 times to me, he said i give you talaak, talaak, talaak.

    But stright after he said no he didnt mean it, it came out of anger.

    Now what i want to know is does that mean our nikha i finshed? we asked around some plp said it has and some said no as he did not leave the famliy home and said sorry..

    Could you please help me out here?

    Thank You.

    • Sister, three divorces in one sitting are counted as one according to the position of all the scholars of the Ahlus Sunnah. This has been taken from a Sahih Hadith.

      For this reason, your divorce is counted as one and you can get back together if your iddah has not expired. Otherwise, you need to do a new Nikah.

      Your husband now has 2 divorces remaining.

      If you still have any query, please login and submit your question separately.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • thank you sooo much

        salaam

      • How long do they get for the "iddah" after the husband says inty talek?

      • I got married Islamic way to my husband 26 years ago he had a first wife and 7cjoldren I have 3 children but he had no contact with the first wife since he married me we brought a house together but he only put his name it my husband passed away two month ago and now his first wife wants all the assets and the house she said she is entitled to everything because he dident divorce her and my nikah don't excist can any answer my question because I could lose every think I've worked fore

    • If a husband & wife living together but they don't have sexual relation about 1 year
      What should a wife do in this case . Nikah exsists . What Islam says

      • Huma, the wife has a right to ask for khulah if she chooses. But in my opinion, it's better to address the root causes of the problem and try to heal the rift in the relationship.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. I am away from my wife for more than six years... my wife doesn't speak with me even on phone for the last two years... I hv 4 children ... my question is that my Nikah is still valid even my wife did not speak with me for the last two years...

  10. asalam alaikum my husband and i separated 2 years ago but then after a year he came back and we tried to make our marriage work.He has since left again as i wanted to study further and he wouldnt help contribute to the household bills or the upkeep of our 2 young children. during our marriage, i worked full time, looked after our children and fulfilled my duties as a wife along with paying all the bills and looking after the finances whilst he contributed to nothing even though he was working fulltime. my daughters and i are now living with my parents and are happy. my question is based on the above would i be able to apply for/ granted a khula?

  11. jazak allah brother

  12. Assalaam-u-Alaikum !

    My sister [29 years old] has been married since May 2010.

    (Remainder of comment has been removed. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

    • Assalaam-u-Alaikum !

      My sister [29 years old] has been married since May 2010.

      In April 2011 she has chosen sleep in a seperate room as her husband [55 years old] has on several occasions abused her and refused a conjugal relationship with her on the basis of his impotency.

      She has requested a talaak from him and his condition to issue her with a talaak order is that she must sign with his attorney that she will forfeit all claim of her share of the assets with regards to the divorce settlement as they are married in accordance to South African Law [community of property].

      During the month of March 2012 she was abused and thrown out of the common home and with no place to go she came back to the family home.

      We as the family further requested him to issue her with a talaak order so she can continue with her life and his answer remained the same as above.

      At the time of the nikah my sister and the family was unaware of his impotency.

      Since then she has met a gentleman who has taken care of her and has approached the family for her hand in marriage.

      The situation we as the family are now faced with is that she is now pregnant by this gentleman who is prepared to accept all his responsibilities.

      Kind advise on how we as the family together with my sister and this gentleman can rectify the situation at hand.

      Jazakallah-u-Ghair

      • Wa'alaykumsalam,

        From what I understand, your sister is seeking divorce but her husband will issue only upon a condition. And then she had extra marital affair with a 'gentleman' and they had committed zina ? And now she is pregnant and you want solution as to what to do next isn't it ?

        Well basically, Marriage in Islam should be done according to Islamic/sharia law and not man made law. The divorce/marriage rules may contradict Islamic law. Did they have the Islamic nikkah done ?

        I think if her husband is not issuing divorce, then its better to sign as he say than to remain a wife to him staying seperately, Or if its possible, bring this case to a sharia/Islamic council as they might be of some help.

        You said,

        she came back to the family home....Since then she has met a gentleman who has taken care of her and has approached the family for her hand in marriage.

        So basically, If she returned home with her family, Why is that 'gentleman' taking care of her ? Who is that 'gentleman' ?

        The situation we as the family are now faced with is that she is now pregnant by this gentleman who is prepared to accept all his responsibilities.

        Lets clear this, Did this happen due to zina ? If yes, then please don't refer that man as 'gentleman' firstly. The solution is for both of them to get married and for this to happen, she has to first divorce her present husband by hook or by crook. Once divorced, she should observe iddah (waiting period), normally, its 3 months if not pregnant and if pregnant then till she deliver the baby. But since, its not her husband who got her pregnant, the situation gets complicated and so you MUST ask an Imam/Scholar about this issue. After the iddah, she can marry that man she wants to marry. But before marrying she and that man must repent sincerely if its indeed zina we're talking about. Thats the only way to rectify this problem. And finally, its best if you and your family increase your Islamic knowledge by learning.

        Start acting ASAP just so the baby can be born within the boundary of marriage.

  13. asalam alaikum my husband and i separated 2 years ago but then after a year he came back and we tried to make our marriage work.

    (Remainder of comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  14. Wa Alaikum as Salam, Mustapha,

    If you did not like your wife, you were not obliged to marry her. But now that you have and it has been many years, I think you should work to create love between yourselves. If you want further help, I request you to post a question separately IN ENGLISH.

    Jazakallahu Khair

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  15. good afternoon Sheikh,

    me and my wife have separation since December 2011, after two weeks she left my home and took another house and of course my daughter with her, all that happened without letting me know anything and any permission from my side at all,
    i kept very calm in order to try to work things back between us then after 5 months I forced myself and moved to her house but I’m living in a room and she’s in another room with the kid, I have tried all the ways to get her back and to be a normal husband and wife but nothing is working at all.

    my questions are:
    - is she still my wife according to Islam and sonny till date?
    - is the Islam allowing the separation all that time without Nikkah?
    - is she considered Nashiz after leaving my house without permission?
    - what’s the best way to deal with her at the moment?

    • As-salamu alaykum brother Omar. We are not actually shuyookh and cannot give fatwas. We only provide common sense advice. However, it does sound as if she is still your wife, since there was no talaq or khul'ah. As for how to solve the problem, please log in and write your question as a separate post and we will advise you in turn Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. AOA.i got my nikah done two years before but didnt get my rukhsati done and since then my wife is living abroad.i just wanna know that in how much time we need to get together before our nikah get revoked.or there is no time limit of revocation ?kindly do answer me!

    • Zeeshan, there is no time limit. However, if you want to have a successful marriage then find a way for the two of you to live together. How can you enjoy your marriage or your wife if you live apart and have not even consummated the marriage yet?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  17. Salam

    Me and my husband both split up for over a year and in that seperation period we both had sexual relationship with other partners now we are back together is our Nikah over? Please advise do we need to do our Nikah Again?

    • saima, I find your question to be very strange, as you seem more concerned about the status of your marriage than about the fact that you and your husband both committed adultery - a huge and deadly sin in Islam, and something considered abhorrent in all cultures. In any case, as long as there was no declaration of talaq (divorce), then you are still married, even after committing zinaa. But the two of you need to seriously check your faith and work on your obedience to Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  18. assalamo alaikum
    I am 5 yearz marid bt gng out of hel 4m the vry 1st day hav a son 2 bt my husbnd is alwayz tryng to cheat me im on job (rest of the comment has been deleted)

    • Wa Alaikum as Salam,

      Simmi, please login and submit your post separately and we will publish it in sha Allah.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  19. hi my name is Nafisa and im 3 months pregnant nothing works with me or my husband or his family we tried our best and now I left him im going to move to another city is there anything wrong in this? I just want the best for my baby and I ! I cant live with him anymore I don't even need another men in my life im only 18 years old im going to be a young mom and all I need is my baby support so I just want to know is that okay if I leave everything behind and start a new life? or is it wrong what im about to do?

    • Nafisa, if your husband is abusive (if he beats you, curses, shouts all the time, etc) then you are certainly justified in leaving him. But if it's something that you can work out then maybe the two of you could try a marriage counselor. You're very young and it may be just that you both need to mature a little and learn how to communicate and trust. I'd like you to please register on this site and submit your question as a separate post, and give us more details Insha'Allah, so that we can answer you properly. Take care to use a fake name for yourself and others so that you cannot be identified.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • thank you for replying me back but we are getting a divorced and thats the best for both of us he hurted me alot of times and i cant bear him even a second and i kno its haram to abort but i have no choice one day this baby would want to meet his or her dad and idk if they would do black magic on my baby because my mothet in law shes like a witch she did magic on me she ruined my life and shes ruining her sons life and my husband he is so immature he doesnt see that right now but he will realise what a perfect wife he lost and he will trult know that my wife is right and my family were always wrong i hope Allah will show him the right path all i want to know is i dont want to keep this nabh i want to abort will there be ant problem? and he also is telling me to abort this child...

        • salam nafisa,

          why don't you submit your post so we could try to help you?
          Until then plz keep your calm and take care of the baby.

  20. salaam,
    my husband has physically hurts me on several occasions. Curses me. Very short tempered. I am always to blame for any problems that we have. I have a young child. I have always thought of leaving him but never have, instead just getting on with it. He wont change, as I've have tried talking to him but doesn't accept anything i say and believes he is always right. I know it would be a better life for my child and me if I left him. However I know separating with either make things much worse, more so than better in my view....so I have to be sure. Also I know Divorce is hated by Allah and that scares me so I thinks its just best to get on with it in this life....but its difficult. I obviously want my child to have a father in his life but not sure what to do. I have always held my tongue as I know once something is said or done it cannot be taken back ever. I regret marrying him and feel low more than anger.

  21. Endlessly?!
    Wasting time?!

    This is he second time I have visited the website and seemed advice. I find your reply pretty abrupt and ill mannered. Thought this website would support and help me is advice.

    • I'm sorry. I confused you with someone else. We had a reader who posted her problem repeatedly and received literally hundreds of replies, but kept re-posting the same issue over and over. Her email was similar to yours. Again, I apologize. Your situation sounds quite bad. I'd like you to please log in and write your question as a separate post, and we will try to advise you Insha'Allah - if you're not too mad at me 🙂

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  22. I would like to know that if wife herself leaves the husbands house and her children under the conscent of her own parents, but thereafter contends that her husband does not maintain her and asks to handover the children to her (when she is still in her parents house and the marriage is still continuing, not dissolved) through a court case, what would be the likely decision of a Pakistani Court?

    Is there any kind of legal support the husband can enjoy in case the wife is not willing to move to her husbands house? Is wittness necessary in this case that the wife or her parents showed their conscent of not moving to the husbands house?

    Please enlighten me in light of Pakistani and Islamic Law as well.

    • Naveed,

      It would be best for you to speak to an imam and a solicitor regarding Islamic law and Pakistani law.

      InshaaAllah may you resolve matters with your wife.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  23. Assalaam Alikum my sister had married 1year back without any reason her husband left her now came back & asking for forgiveness is she had a right to get back in his life or she should leave him & continued her life..he also did this before please help.. some people's says she is now out of nikkah due to his no contacts nothing from his side please help us
    JAAZAKALLAH KHAIR.

    • mimi, absence or separation does not automatically break the nikah. As for whether she should take him back, we don't know the situation or the details, so we cannot advise. She must use her best judgment.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  24. brother i have nikkah but not yet practically get married... what is my mertial status for applyng any job???

  25. I have been having problems with my wife for almost a year now, for almost four month now I have not gone to bed with her, please advice me is there marriage between me and her? I love my four kids but she given me much problem and I cannot davoice her because of the kids thank you.

  26. As Salaam Alaikum,

    I reverted to Islam 10 years ago (remainder of comment deleted by editor)

    • Salaams,

      Please log in and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer it in turn in shaa Allah. It's a good question, and we want to make sure it gets the attention and answers it deserves.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  27. Aslamalaikum.

    My husband suffers from bipor disorder...

    [Editor's note: Please log in and submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment - that way it can be published in turn and get the full attention and input of our contributors, inshaAllah]

  28. My husband and I have been separated, the reason is that he never gave me nan nafqa nor any financial support. now we are living apart. and he will issue divorce once baby is born. i found a job to help my financial condition. but he says I cant do job. Has he got any right to object over me while we are separated. please reply soon.

    • He is not fulfilling his duties, so how can he demand his rights? Obviously you have to support yourself and your coming baby Insha'Allah. Go ahead and do your job.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • M m, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. And please give us more details about the situation.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  29. Aslm, I ve been married for 12 yrs now. On the 11th yr I learnt my husband has been cheating on me as from our 9th yr of marriage, with his staff- a characterless girl. He admitted in front of his family, my family and the girl's family that he don't get along with me- though I ve been a gd wife to him. The girl and my husband told big lies to me & everyone. My husband knows that she is a bad girl- smoking, drinking alcohol, having sex with other men... But still he says he will never love me like he has 'loved' the other girl. He is not frank with me when I ask him if he has ended relationship with the girl. He only get annoyed that I question him. But the girl's ex fiancé texted me each time he saw them together. Well, I asked the ex fiancé to let me know if he sees them 2gether as this is the only means for me to know z truth as I dont have the courage to see them in front of me. Bt am nt 100% sure about that. The main prob is my husband avoids me. He is nt interested in having sexual relationship with me since Dec 2013 but he did it once in march 2014 but told the girl everything about it as if he had betrayed his mistress with me-his wife!!! Since then nothing. I do my best to please him but in no avail.He said he dont regret having cheated on me. He still dont show he regrets nor he does something to prove me he loves me. He comes home late from wrk n go out every nigth without giving me any explanation. But He cares for me(financial) and he really loves my 7 yr old son. I just want an advice from you. Know that I ve been struggling for arranging things b/w us since I ve learnt he has been cheating on me but in vain. He is nt interested in getting a conversation to bring us to a decision as he is sneaky. Am feeling lost. Thank you for ur reply.

    • Salaams,

      I can't see any benefit in staying with someone who you can't trust, is apparently dishonest, and has admitted to being unfaithful. I think you're worth more than settling for that, sister. Have you asked yourself why you are willing to accept this type of relationship? Don't you think you owe you and your son more than that?

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  30. Aslam o alaikum..
    I had done nikah on fon with a boy.. but It was not in the proper manner.. It was just our believe.
    We had recite nikah self n our witness is just Allah.
    So had this nikah done or not?
    We r living separate, coz we don't know about that nikah. .
    But now I have listen that type of nikah has been done.

    • What you did is NOT a nikah, and you are NOT married. A proper nikah requires the presence of the bride's wali, at least two witnesses, payment of the mahr, and publicization of the marriage (waleemah).

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Because past 7 years we were no mature..n We did that mistake. .
        And past two years he has get married.. but still he don't want to accept his wife as wife,that marriage was done by keeping him undere pressure...
        And also I suffering from lot of problems, their are many troubles in my marriage. Some alim said ur nikah is stuck.

  31. Asalamualaikum,
    I have been married to my husband and we got separated for more than a year due to family problems.
    Now we want to get back together and i wanted to know if we should do another nikkah because we have been separated for long and i have heard that once u leave your husbands house your nikkah breaks. So please advise me

  32. Salaam could anyone advise me I got to know a guy on the Internet and we talked to eachother for 2 years and then decided we want to have a Nikah so we arranged a nikah in a mosque without his family and mine he was not in the country so he sent a letter to authorise a wali and his friends in uk came as witness and my wali we had the nikah all was fine for 6 months then he went to pakistan and got married again he said he was being forced and I stayed here he got married and took his second wife to quwait with him and had no contact with me it has been a year now I have no idea were he is i have no contact what shall I do I need to move on in life I know I did a mistake by trusted him he used me when ever I said we should meet he said when the time is right he paid no haq meher and no expenses towards me,now my parents want me to get married what should I do 1.is this nikah valid and I can't tell my parents i just want to move on with life which means to have a nikah with whom my parents have choosen of i do will that nikah be valid or invalid,we never ever met each other or had any relationship ever Plz advise me

    • Farah, you should go to the court (or your local Imam if you are in a Western country) and request a khulah. And tell your parents. No more secrets.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  33. AOA... i wanted to know that if a couple have been separated for 40 years without a proper divorce and the man has married another woman. does that marriage stays intact even if the man comes back after 40 years to his first wife?

    • First let me say that for anyone to return to a woman in your scenario and wish to resume marital relations with her as if nothing happened is ridiculous. That said, separation of any length does not automatically result in divorce. See this article in this regard:

      Does Long Separation Break a Nikah in Islam?

      If the man and woman have not been in communication, however, then it is possible (and likely) that the woman has obtained a khulah divorce or nullification in the man's absence. So this is something the man must inquire about.

      Sheikh Sayyed Sabiq, may Allah have mercy on him, points out that:

      “Nullifying the marriage due to the absence of the husband is the view adopted by Malik and Ahmad so as to remove the harm inflicted on the wife. Hence, a wife is allowed to seek divorce due to her husband's absence even if he has left for her sufficient provision. However this is governed by the following conditions:

      1 - If the husband has been away for no valid reason;

      2 - If the absence causes the wife great harm;

      3 - If the husband lives in another country;

      4 - If the husband has been absent for a whole year.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  34. ...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. It can then be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  35. I am sheraz...

    • sheraz, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  36. It's been one year since I am saperated from my kids & wife. We use to live in Australia together.Now they are in Australia and I am in Pakistan.
    My question is my wife forcefully took divorce from me. First her father threatened me & my family to kill us boz he was higher ranked in police. My Gods knows I didn't wanna divorce her.
    I called three divorce at once without any witness over phone. Before that she applied "Khula" case in Pakistan and took Khula after six months. But all happened without mine& her absence. We both didn't attended courts. Boz we were in Australia.
    My 2nd question is about my kids I miss my kids too but I don't wanna go back to Australia again. And I can't afford to pay kids expenses from Pakistan in dollars what's my obligations in that sense.
    I told her give me my kids and get married because she doesn't like any more. After 9 years marriage.
    Plz guide me in Quran & sunnah. Thanks

  37. assalam o alaikum !

    my question is:
    if a Muslim man said to another Muslim man that he is not Muslim such as ( he is Quaidyani or jews etc..etc.).
    so what is the status of that Muslim person who said this to other Muslim person:

    1. his Nikah has affected (voided)
    2. if Nikah is intact , he should have to pay some compensation.

    good bye

    • What a strange question. Insulting someone or saying he is not Muslim has absolutely nothing to do with nikah. Of course it does not affect anyone's nikah. The only thing that voids or ends a nikah is divorce. Neither is there any compensation involved, but if what he said is not true then he committed a serious sin. He should apologize to the person, and ask Allah's forgiveness.

      Be very careful with making such statements, as the Messenger of Allah (sws) said:

      "Any person who calls his brother: O Unbeliever! (then the truth of this label) would return to one of them. If it is true, (then it is) as he asserted, (but if it is not true), then it returns to him." [Muslim]

      In other words, if it is not true then the accusation returns to him and makes him a disbeliever. This doesn't mean there is no way back for him. But he must make tawbah and refrain from such accusations in the future.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  38. assalam o alaikum !

  39. I am a christian American woman who fell in love with a Pakistani living (illegally) in UK. I traveled to UK in 2012 and we got married in mosque and later i discovered he lied to me about his Immigration status. He was deported after three months of marriage to Pakistan and I came back to USA. After few months, love vanished and now its been almost three years I have been living on my own christian life and i asked him for divorce because I cant go to Pakistan and he cant come to USA. He wants a green card from me. We had no contact past three years. Last time we had a brief contact was few days ago. I asked him give me the divorce but he refuses. I don't follow Islam at all. My question is are we still married as he said? If we are married how i get out of this trapping situation. Our marriage was not on papers. He never paid me a penny for my expenses, after he was deported to Pakistan. I am supporting myself on my own. please help

    • Go to your local mosque and ask them to help you by giving you a khulah, which is a declaration of divorce initiated by the wife. They will probably be hesitant and will tell you to try to work things out with your husband. Just insist on it, as it is your right.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  40. Salam I have been living different country at moment busy looking after my sick sister more months but I text my husband every day have broken my Nikah with my husband

  41. I've been separated for nearly 4 month but he says he will come back in one month time due to issues although I've been hearing that he's family telling everyone we are divorced shall I take that as we are divorced

  42. Hello, I am an Afghan girl. I recently got engaged (but we did nikkah) and the whole idea of nikkah was to make it halal for us to hang out together and spend time while getting to know each other without worrying that we were sinning.

    The boy was overly protective and wanted to Change me completely into a person he preferred while I was happy with the way I was and my family were also happy with how I was. He stopped me from seeing friends and always argued with me about everything and would swear everyday at my family and myself.

    My family decided that we should break up and so have I. He has said sorry and that he will change but I do not believe it.

    so now it's been a few weeks and we do not speak. With the intention that we have broken up. But we have done the nikkah, although we didn't sign anything. We said Qabool three times and there wasn't an imam there it was my cousin he read the Surah of the Quran.

    No I do not know if I am married or not? Is the nikkah even valid if we didn't sign any papers? Do we have to break it islamically ?

    Thank you.

  43. Ive heard if iu dont have sex with yr husband for 2 years yr nika is broken is this true or notirene

  44. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah, wa barakatu, I disagree with the way Muslim men who doesn't want to be married nor divorce behaves. It appears Muslim men want their cake and eat it too. It's bad enough many Muslim men don't want to marry Muslim Sisters. What a travesty. Why Muslim woman must be placed on hold for what reason? If many Muslim men don't know how to treat their wife? Why bother to marry at "All." If a couple isn't sharing their bed more than 3mos...? Bye, Bye...It's Over.
    Asalaam...Eid Mubarak... Eid Kareem.

  45. Asssalamalilkum.

  46. My spouse and I have been seperated for 2 and a half years now. He lives in Pakistan. He has said talaaq to me 3 times without any witness a few months after we married because I was forced to get married to him. Now I've met someone else, however I am pregnant with he's child and we plan to marry asap. My family had taken time to agree to this proposal but have now taken action for me to apply for khula. I am 5 weeks away from having this baby what do I do??

  47. Asslam o Alaikum. my question is that long lasting nikah is valid or not please tell me duration of my nikah is 8 years.

  48. Asalaamalekum I am a 28years old woman married for the past 2years nw.after 13months of marriage due to small usual fight with in laws I came to my maternal house upset with my husband .initially for 1month me and my husband were not on talking terms with each other.bt during the occasion of eid we patched up nicely on one condition that he would keep me separately from his parents for which he agreed.For 1month after this everything was going fine.bt 1fine day me on pestering him to keep me separately from his parents ended up fighhting.the reason for me pestering upon him was he was just not taking a firm proper decision regarding providing me with separate accommodation. Henceforth my husband got terribly pissed off out of no reason and decided to divorce me ..after getting to know this that he has decided to divorce me I made n number of approaches and requests askn him to forgive me and accepting me back again in his life,to start a fresh life bt of no availonger. He became adamant in his decision.today it's 10months now we have been living separately without any husband wife relation.till date I try meeting him out of 1reaon or the other texts him messages him to reconcile with me and make a new fresh beginning together bt he seems to be in no mood to make this reconciliation.
    What should I do?even my family has tried reconciling with him and his family bt of no use.
    Does this separation end our nikah?does his intention of once divorcing me end our nikah
    What should I do?please help and guide me
    Need urgent help...

    • Nilofer, it's not clear what you mean when you say your husband "decided" to divorce you. Did he give you a declaration of divorce? Did he say, "I divorce you," or words to that effect? If so, and since you have been apart for 10 months with no reconciliation, you are definitely divorced.

      But if he did not actually declare divorce to you, then simply being separated does not end the marriage. A nikah can only be ended through talaq, khulah or death of course.

      If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • No he didn't really declare "I divorce you".
        In anger he just said as a deciding statement that he will divorce me...

  49. Please brother wael,publish my post urgently i need help.

    • sofi, I did not see any post submitted by you with this email address. Perhaps you used a different one?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  50. Dear Brother, please advise.

  51. i separated last year with my x and i did not divorce but left him i will not go back to him because he hit me and did drugs and also slept with other women so meaning that if you separate in islamic views that i did wrong and not get a divorce and it means i am still married to that person please help me understand.

  52. Hi im Muslim me and husband live in UK but bcz of some reason i need to get police involved before police we apologised each other but bcz some one called the police already so couldn't stop them had to tell them all ....but me and my husband want to get together again. And want to live happy again but he's not allowed to even see me and im desperate to be withhIm back but bcz of the law in UK even cant see him ..does it effect on nikah ? Or u know not good for being Muslim couple spacialy if thy r agreed to get back to each other but bcz of law ...help me

    • Iram, it does not affect your nikah. Talk to a solicitor and see if you can have the legal restraints removed. However, if the reason the police got involved is because your husband was beating you, then you are better off without him.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  53. hi can you tell me if my husband has left me 4 years ago we have no relation with each other he has said talak to me 3 times at once 2 years ago am I divorced?

    • Yes, you are divorced, not because of the abandonment but because of the declaration of talaq.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • ok thank you last question as there were no witnesses except from.my brother and nephew who were young 14, 15 years old
        is it still confirmed we are divorced he didn't give me it written either and is denying it now

  54. Your so rude in your replys and as a Muslim you have no compansion people like you is the reason muslims go wrong and find it hard to talk openly and freely

  55. Assalamualaikum,I m 9 yrs married women with two kids.my husband is in navy he used to b apart for 5 months but it is really difficult for me to handle everything alone as I have no support of his family.whenever I ask him to quit his job he always ignores it,several times I used to b not well as i m having anxiety problem.plz help me suggest solution for it . I m really fighting with this issue from such a long time.my husband just stays with me for 3 month

  56. My name is farok sultana I married a Hindu man and got him converted to muslin we had a good life for 15 years from past 14 yeara he is leaving with a christian woman and stop taking care of me and children and he is converted to christian
    I want to get separated from him what shall I do is my marriage null and void please help me
    Thanking you
    Please help

  57. Asking on behalf of a sister. Her nikkah happend in september 2016, an arrange marraige where the husband left for US the next day and they never consumated the marraige. Till date the husband has not come back even though has stayed in touch, but obviously never had any physical reationship. Recently the girl found out that the husband was already married to another woman earlier and had divorced her. This information was not shared with her or her family and not mentioned on the nikkah nama as well. Now she wants the relationship to end. Is there a way that the nikkah can be "dissolved" or made "invalid and void" based on the details mentioned above and this not be labelled as divorce?

    • Hiba, the husband should issue a declaration of talaq, and the wife should return the mahr. Since the marriage was never consummated, there is no need for a waiting period. The marriage is instantly dissolved. You can call it an annulment or a divorce or whatever. I'm not sure what difference the label makes. It would still be deceptive not to reveal it to a future partner.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  58. Im a 20years old i was in realtnshp with a boy our love is a true love but the boy death due to accident so we didnt meet in this wrld can we meet in paradise together

  59. If my wife refuse to sleep with me for 2 month n she has intention of living for someone else.

    • Dowlut, you are still married, if that's what you are asking. Divorce requires a declaration of talaq, or a completion of khulah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  60. I m separated from my husband from last 6 years now. I had gone for Khula and the maulana had suggested me that a woman can wait for 30 years for her husband. Was that a joke??? He has threatened me that if I want khula from my husband n if he demands I have to give my son’s custody to him. According to the maulana if I have stepped out of the house (job) to take care of my son, I m not doing any favour. Custody of MY son is his right. For the first time I realised that Islam does not give any right to Muslim woman. That’s so sad.

    • Maimoona, there is nothing from Islamic teaching that says if the wife works, she loses custody of her children. Find someone else who will give you khulah without such conditions.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  61. Its been one and half year that I got married. Me and my husband were doing fine. My mother in law doesn't want us to be together. I have twin baby girls of 5 months. My hubby left home on small fight and has not contacted since last 3 months. I have been seeing dreams like lizard in mouth, wolf following me and my husbands grand mother doing some magic. I fear that my in laws has done some magic over my husband to create separation. Kindly tell; me what should I do? My husband has not shown concern for daughters even. Need your assistance.

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