Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I repeatedly did zina and did tawbah, but I doubt if the tawbah was valid

Repent before the Day when Allah will Question you

Repent before the Day when Allah will Question you

Assalamalaikum everyone,

I am 19 years old. Female. I live in Asia.

I really need some help. It would be better if I got an reply as quickly as possible (as I have exams coming up in less than a month) but I well understand there's a queue.

Here's my story:

The Background

I've committed zina when I was 17. In July 2011. I was in a relationship (I'm not very proud saying that). We broke up in August 2012. So it has been 1 year+ that I've committed this sin on a regular basis. We both knew it was a disgraceful act so didn't tell anybody and this matter is/was kept a secret.

So after August 2012, I've went through a very hard time. No, NOT because I was missing sex. Because it finally hit me. My conscious that I've locked away for so long, came back to me. If my conscious was a person, then the person was severely injured.

So with a heart break ( I am telling here I had heart break because yes, at that time I WAS in love with my "ex-boyfriend"- but how I felt about him/how he was to me/what our plans were- is a different matter altogether) and bruised conscious I finally turn to Allah.

There was so much pain at first, but little by little Allah took all those pain away. I prayed to him, cried to him and I KNOW that he ALWAYS PROTECTS ME. That time, I realized, Allah was again protecting me through that 'break up'. He has actually given me the key to unlock my conscious that I've kept away. So that my soul can clean itself, so that I can repair it before I return to Allah.

I laugh at my foolishness. What am I calling a 'heart break'? An act takes me away from my Lord? What could be more heart-breaking than that!

I was finally being able to look myself in the mirror. I was finally thinking that I deserve Allah's love.

I made promise (to myself and Allah) that I'd do everything that would make Allah love and protect me like He has always done. I don't want His Wrath. I don't want Him to hate me. I want to be in His side. I am afraid of the day of Judgement and I am afraid of the punishment. I so badly want to be in Heaven. But as much as bad things I've done in my life, I always believed there is goodness in me and I can fix myself. Of course, with the help of Allah- I CAN fix myself.

...That was Aug '12- Dec '12

In Jan 1st 2013 - I met up with my ex-boyfriend, there was no zina but other stuff.

After which I felt so guilty that I promised not to do return to the sin/ anywhere near that sin.  At that time I felt so much guilt. So much heaviness in my heart. So disappointed at myself. Allah- the One who took away my pain little by little so that  I am able to get peace of mind PLUS realize my mistake, I've angered Him again. I felt so so so low.

I've made a promise again- this time it was a stronger promise.

As of now

Now what is making my heart heavy is:

In 17th April it happened again. I didn't commit 'actual zina', but there were other 'stuff' (I consider them equally as bad as zina).

And quite honestly I'm doubting my previous two repentance. I'm doubting myself. Those promises were so strong, but how could I go back to the sin (if they were so strong)?

I was feeling like going back to the sin (that is because my ex called me up and wanted to meet me). When he called me,  I am 99% sure I didn't even for a single moment think about going back to the sin. I directly told him 'No way'. Even in 16th April night (the day before I went back to sin) I googled articles to read and calm myself down.

And before I went to bed I felt that I have 'convinced' myself not to go back to that sin. When I fell asleep, I was so much at peace, so proud of myself- Shaitaan was trying to grip a hold of me and he couldn't.

But the next day (17th) , I failed.

Doubts:

I failed and the problem is NOT that I can't repent. The problem is I feel like I'm not feeling 'guilty enough'. The problem is I doubt myself. The problem is I'm doubting my Iman. The problem is now that I'm typing I feel like crying but I can't.

Even in 17th April, I had the choice not to get involed in that sin at all. But my 'ex boyfriend' and I met up anyways.

I know that Shaitaan makes us feel like we are not good enough to return back to Allah. I know Shaitaan makes us doubt ourselves. But I also feel like there is reason to doubt myself.

Am I taking Allah's forgiveness for granted?

Repentance: I know that for repentance one must do three sure things:

1) Regret the sin.

2) Stop the sin.

3) Do good deeds.

I'm not even sure I'm regretting the sin properly. I regret going back to the sin because:

a) Allah loved me and want to love me more but apparently I didn't act this way. Instead I did something  quite opposite. I did something that would cause Allah to get mad at me.

b) I'm afraid my sins will get exposed (in this life). Allah has always covered my sins.

c) I'm afraid my sins will get exposed (in the after life). I read that Allah will make us read our sins (if He does not wish to forgive us given that we repent!) in front of every body.

d) I'm afraid of the consequence (in this life) now- STDs, I've never thought about it before.

e) Allah has always Protected me and I've ruined that protection.

f) My family loves me but I'm hurting them behind their back.

Are these reasons for regret valid?

When I was committing the sin I was just thinking about repenting but doing it anyways. But isn't that taking forgiveness for granted?

I will stop the sin. I just know I will. It will never happen again, In Sha Allah. I will try my best to do extra good deeds.

So all my questions at a glance:

1) Were my first two repentance valid?

2) Am I taking Allah's forgiveness for granted? I don't want to (if I am), what should I do?

3) Am I feeling regret for the right reasons?

4) What extra good deeds can I do?

5) Can you suggest some dua to give my mind peace?

6) I've always believed I'm a good person and I can fix myself. But now I'm doubting.

The thing is that I realize that part of these questions' answers lie within me. I need to figure them out on my own. Some of it, time will tell. Some of the things, I need to prove myself. But the insecurity and doubts I'm feeling is burning in me like acid. I feel so restless. I can't think straight.

Up till now I have written 1000 words and I'm not even sure that whether I could convey the way I feel. Somewhere I read that Allah knows what is in our hearts and it relieves me. Because right now  I can't even express myself properly. Hell, I'm not even sure how I feel.

Worst part, I can't even pray right now. I'm just glad I'm not dead. I still have the time to repent. And I will. But these doubts they are eating me inside out. Like I've mentioned above I have exams coming up, I can't even study properly.

I've asked a huge question and I'm thankful to you that you've read it this far. I need to pray for the http://zawaj.com/askbilqis team. You guys are of serious help. And hey I need prayers too. Can you guys pray for my peace-of-mind and my exam?

Thank you so much- for your time, patience and answers.

May Allah Guide us, Forgive us and Protect us.

~ A_Roza


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100 Responses »

  1. Salam sis.

    All i can say. That Allah say's if you keep sinning and sinning and sinning till your sins reach to the heavens and the whole earth is full with your sins.

    And you come to me without associating any partners to me, then i will forgive you and i wont mind. there are no conditions to this concession and its on going until the sun rises from the west, i.e Judgement day.
    Obviously this does not mean it an open ticket to keep sinning whole heartily. However it does mean. That the Lord knows we are created week and we will sin and sin and sin.

    The point is to regret this sin as you are doing and try not to return to it, you have at times fallen short and lost your way, 'who hasn't' anyone who says they haven't are lieing.

    This vid is for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsG9Er1vE6k

    Have TRUST in Allah and your repentance, and have trust in your own self

    Salam

    .

    • Really good reply azeem, i was going to give her the advise but didnt know how to tell her.

      I alsi suggest that she should get married, if she cant stop herself from sex. Atleast she is going to commit a sin. InshAllah Allah will guide her and give her another chance. Anna

      • she is not going to commit a sin i meant to say....

      • I have a question as i had the same sin with her but the difference is me and my boyfriend still in a relationship but we're far away in each other now because of my work he don't want to break up with me because he want to marry me after i got to our country he want us to become married so we will make our sin to be in right.. in short he want to us to get married and make tawbah together..
        Do this decision is right or what??

        • this is a good decision. today alot of people fell in love and have relationship bt the thing gets corrected when u both gets married. and if u regret for ur mistakes and do taubah the allah is there to forgive u

          • If anyone, even myself had done sin is always remain sin.Those who turn to Allah will not delay the thawbah. Remind our sin always and from that sin we have to escape from all sin. Shaithan make a matter to do so.Keep hope in Allah, None has been enter the paradise even any good people without the mercy of Allah. Ask always forgiveness and Mercy of Allah.May Allah make us in a straight path. Ameen

        • I dont think that s right im confused now /sherna

      • I really impressed from ur advise I aslo advise her that she could married as soon as possible

    • Thank you for your advice and kindness in giving me advice.

      Dear Anna, marriage is an option right now for me- so I will have to try and by try I mean 'try and succeed' not to give into sins.

      Reading all these comments now, I feel fueled and determined, not to sin, ever again.

      Thanks again.

      • Asalaam Alaikum

        I read your post and wanted to contribute but wallahi, I found myself in the same shoes with you.

        I was one of those people who preach and guide my friends against such act, I hold myself all these years and pray to Allah, seek is help, and against the evil of my own self. Untill 22 November 2014.

        I pay a visit to a friend whom I have lost contact with from a different state, he introduce me to his family, they welcome like never before, they like me even more than I can explain. And a sister from Neighboring house saw me look so attractive to her and approch me seeking my good hand for a brother, I accept, after sometime the relation was going beyond brotherhood. I approch her and ask if she has anybody in mind or engage with somebody? she said no, but I was the one she introduce to her parent as a propose. I was shock to hear that, even before I present myself? I ask, but she was able to convince me. my effort in trying to explain things to her just fail. that night 22 November 2014 was the day I still live to regreat till date.

        That night........I live till date with that secreat, we both engage in Zina, after all, my eye clear, I saw how devulish it's, I cried, shade tears, O! Allah, I feel ashamed of myself, I can't even stand to face kiblah, for I feel I am standing in front of my lord with shame on my face. Wallah, I quit from preaching to others against the sinful act, I pray to Allah seeking for forgiveness time without number, but the fact that I can't tell if Allah has forgiven me keep me in state of guilty. I still live with that bundage in my face.

        After one year I return home, I feel releave for the reason I don't know. now I am around again, I promise never to return. the feeling is still there but I don't want to see her again, I detest everything about her. But even at this moment, she want me around, and the feeling for her is still there wallahi, but going back there, I am afraid, the samething may still repeat itself, wallahi I agree, I have a very weak fate. I still live with the regreet.

        Marriage is the last option but for now, I have no means.

        Pls, help me in your prayer.

    • Asalamu Alaikum ,my question is that if a person commit zina .would his prayer accepted or not?

    • i am 17 years girl. i lost my mom 1 month ago...i have been in a reltion for 5 years and may be im still in a relation...i am a sinner..me and my bf met with eachother..we everytym kissed and stuff like that..few days ago we had everything exposure contact everything excpt intercourse.... i dont knw what to do..i want to cry but cant...i want to shout out loud but cant..all i am doing is sleeping to keep myslf distract but i cant do so..imy exams are near...i am afraid that ill be pregnant? though we had no intercourse..moreover i want to get rid of stuff like this..i want inner peace..my bf says that our love is lessend after this meeting and he will marry me only if i am pak..i dnt knw wt to do..we have said goodbye to eachother until we get free from studies...im in a terrible state..i dnt knw wt 2 do..plzzzzzzz help me...help me..im dying every second..plsss...

  2. Assalamu'alaikum sister A_Roza,

    May Allah Forgive you for the sins you have committed and you are committing.

    Sister, I will begin right with the point. I think you have taken the sin of Zina lightly. It is a major sin which attracts 100 lashes in Islamic Sharee'ah. And this is repeated every time the person does it. But when this is not done, one must do Tawbah. You mentioned 3 conditions for tawbah. Correctly, they are:

    1. Stopping the sin immediately
    2. Feeling regret
    3. Resolving never to do it again

    You stopped the sin the first two times and I am sure you resolved never to return to it, but did again. If I can remember correctly, I have heard of the incident of a person during the time of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam who drank alcohol and was lashed 40 times for it. He drank again was lashed again. This was done many times when another Sahaabi cursed him, on which, Allah's Messenger asked him not to and said: "Do not say so. Do not help the shaitan against him".

    Sin is a sin and one must strive not to repeat it. But when done, one must do tawbah and hope that Allah Forgives (or rather fear that He won't) and hope that He won't Punish.

    It is important that you get away from the man in question and ask him never to call you again - whatever it is. You are a stranger to him and he has no right to call you. Do whatever it takes - change your phone number, delete his contact information, blacklist his number (if you own a smartphone) and make sure you never hear his voice again in your life. If you do not wear hijaab, wear it (I hope you already do). This will keep him at bay, in sha Allah.

    Nobody can answer you whether your tawbah was valid, as the decision belongs to Allah Alone. You Know that Allah Forgives, and that does not mean you take His Forgiveness for granted, because He really does Forgive. What you lack is probably something else (I will speak about it later). Regret must be for having disobeyed Allah and Fearing His Punishment. A major sin - Zina, which is not forgiven, but with tawbah, except if Allah Wills.

    You are good and you can fix things, but not if you remain the same. You must change yourself - your surroundings, your environment and whatever makes you return to the sin. Make friends with girls who are righteous and who would remind you of Allah and avoid the company of evil and unrighteous people. As a hadith says, a person is upon the religion of his friend - meaning that he does what his friend influences him to do.

    The problem is: You realize the you are straying, but fall for it when Shaitaan shows you the beauty of this world. As I heard from a Shaikh (Shaikh Ahmad al Hawwashi): Ad Dunya Museebah - The world is a misfortune. And a hadith says:

    When Allah created the Garden, He asked Angle Jibreel (Gabriel) to go and take a look at it. So he went and looked at the Paradise and at all that Allah had prepared for its inhabitants. Then he said: "O My Lord! By Your Honor, No one who hears about this place would stay away from it." Then Allah surrounded the Paradise by difficulties and hardships and asked Jibreel again to go and take another look. Jibreel went again and after looking at it came back and said: "O My Lord! By Your Honor, I am afraid now that no one will be able to enter it." Then after Allah created the Hell, He asked Jibreel to go and take a look. When Jibreel came back he said: "O My Lord! By Your Honor, no one who hears about it will ever enter it." Then Allah surrounded the Hell by all kinds of lusts and desires and asked Jibreel to take another look. This time after looking at it Jibreel said: "O My Lord! By Your Honor, I am afraid that no one will be able to avoid it."

    It is like this. So do not take sins lightly. What you probably should develop and increase is your taqwa. It is something that keeps you away from sins. Develop haya, which protects you from sins, such that you will never approach such a thing by yourself.

    Just ask yourself: Am I ready to face death? Am I ready to face Allah? His Judgement? If the answer is no, then something needs to be fixed. You know what it is, you just need to realize and make the effort. Whenever you are wanting to meet this man, think about your grave, the only place you will own in this earth after you die. It will either be a place of security and pleasure or a ditch full of wrath. Remember this reality and also the standing before Allah. He will ask you about your youth - how you spent it.
    What answer will you give?

    On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), from among the things he reports from his Lord (mighty and sublime be He), is that he said: "A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: 'O Allah, forgive me my sin.' And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: 'My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.' Then he sinned again and said: 'O Lord, forgive me my sin.' And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: 'My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.' Then he sinned again and said: 'O Lord, forgive me my sin.' And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: 'My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.'" [Muslim (also by al- Bukhari).]

    As long as you do true tawbah, the doors of tawbah are open until you die or the rises from the west.

    I don't see anything wrong with the reasons you regret the sin, just add the fear of losing Allah's Pleasure and hope that He Will Forgive you, and do not repeat the sin.

    The Day belongs to Him, but He Is The Most Just and The Most Merciful. All you need to do is give up the sins and strive never to appraoch them again.

    It is true that Allah Forgives all sins except for Shirk (if tawbah was not done), but only if He Wills. So you must ensure that He Is Pleased with you.

    When you leave a sin, leave it because Allah Is Watching and that it will make Him Angry.

    Another hadith says:

    Abu Dharr (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Allah, the Almighty, says: 'Whosoever does a good deed, will have (reward) ten times like it and I add more; and whosoever does an evil, will have the punishment like it or I will forgive (him); and whosoever approaches Me by one span, I will approach him by one cubit; and whosoever approaches Me by one cubit, I approach him by one fathom, and whosoever comes to Me walking, I go to him running; and whosoever meets Me with an earth-load of sins without associating anything with Me, I meet him with forgiveness like that".[Muslim]

    Before losing hope in Allah after having sinned, read this Aayah from Surah az Zumar:

    “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed greatly against themselves through sins! Do not despair of the Mercy of Allaah. Indeed Allaah forgives all sins to those who repent. Indeed He is the Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful."

    Concerning exposing your sins, if you leave it for Allah's Sake, in sha Allah, He Will Conceal it. According to a hadith:

    Ibn 'Umar said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'On the Day of Rising, a believer will be brought near his Lord until His mercy descends on him and He will ask him to acknowledge his sins and say, 'Do you confess to such-and-such a sin? Do you confess to such-and-such a sin?' He will say, 'Lord, I confess.' He will say, 'I veiled it for you in the world and I forgive you for it today,' and he will be given the page of his good actions." [Agreed upon]

    Also watch this video about the meeting with Allah in Jannah. May Allah Grant us this Great Reward: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyDRS3Ey7mc

    A person sins when the Iman is low. Iman increases with obedience and decreases with disobedience. So obey Allah so that your Iman becomes strong and have a high level of haya, which is a part of Iman. Iman includes what you say, what you believe amd what you do. So, let all these departments work together in strengthening your Imaan. Improve your Ikhlas such that everything you do is for Allah's Sake and does not displease Him.

    Reading the following may help you: http://soasmw.webs.com/apps/blog/show/19240636-conditions-of-the-shahaadah

    Also refer to this website: http://abdurrahman.org

    Listen and obey Allah and His Messenger, and May Allah Show you His Mercy.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Thank you so much for your reply. You gave a lot of references and links (I will check them later)- which is the most helpful.

      Yes, I will have to agree that I took Zina (and whatever action approaches it) light, at first. And it may seem- the way I wrote my problem that I'm ignorant but trust me I'm not- I read the 'Sin of Fornificaiton part 1/2/3' and it brings me tears. The more days go, I feel burdened. I feel its weight. Someitmes, it feels like a huge rock on my chest.

      You know, I look at my younger siblings and I see their eyes glitter with purity and happiness.And one day, I noticed my face and I see something is lacking. And I see it's in my eyes. They lack that shine. It's because I feel so burden all the time. I feel exhausted. My soul feels it has been robbed out of peace. And there's no one to blame except me. And I fear so much, what if my sins get out? Of course I have other more serious reasons of fear- what if I cannot repent and please Allah? What if I fall back to the sin?

      I will come to this page and read all the comments everyone gave me/gives me whenever I feel Shaitaan on my mind. So that way, they way I see that my brothers and sisters are giving me their precious time JUST SO THAT I DON'T SIN, I'm quite sure I won't fall back to the sin.

      As of now (I posted this question about a month back) I'm much better. You know that idiot of an guy approached me again. But of course I didn't make communication back. It challenges me when that-guy approaches me- this is because I think Allah is testing me, again. He is giving me a chance to prove my ability to him. He is giving me the chance to beat Shaitaan. Well this is the way I see it.

      I am trying and making effort to get close to Allah . I've started with learning the 99 names of Allah. I'm going to take it slow and learn 10 names per week, with meaning. So yeah I'm much better.

      I'm gonna beat the crap out of Shaitaan and get the shines in my eyes back. That is, if Allah Helps me and Guides me.

      Thanks Brother Bari = ]
      May Allah always Guide you. Ameen.

      • Aameen to your du'a: May Allah Guide me, always.

        Sister, take this courage forward and beat the Shaitan. We think it is difficult, but that is just a mental block. It is in fact very easy and the peace you get in defeating Shaitaan can not be explained in words. Shaitaan's plots are weak, as Allah Says:

        إن كيد الشيطان كان ضعيفا
        Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak. (4:76)

        Do not ever give into Shaitaan's deception again.

        And I am glad you are learning Allah's Names. That is among the initial steps in getting closer to Allah. It is important that you get the correct understanding and learn the names in what they mean.

        If you know Urdu, the following duroos will help you in this: http://ashabulhadith.com/Asama_Ul_Husna/Asama_Ul_Husna.html

        If you do not know Urdu, then you can listen to the English duroos from here: http://understand-islam.net/site/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=10&Itemid=98

        You have lost the shine of your eyes, but you are not dead yet. You can gain that back. Have the correct niyyah and work towards it. Sins are done by everyone. What differs among them is true tawbah. Now purify yourself by closing the doors leading to sin and following the path leading to Allah. He Loves you, you just need to realize this and make the best of His Love, and May Allah Guide you and show you His Mercy. Aameen.

        Abu Abdul Bari
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • I had do zina with a married women.even her husband knows that...she is another religion women.i am 17 years old...so can i marry a islamic girl is it haram

      • Hey sister came across this page...wanted to knw how u getting on...please email me

      • Assalam o alaikum,

        I understand you and I am very impressed by your courage, May Allah guide us all an dbring peace to our hearts, Ameen!
        But I hate to say this, I am in a similar situation, can i please talk to you on some social media if you have any?

    • salam...
      i have been reading all the comments and views given on the most serious issue that is rising day by day in our society (unfortunately). but there are some questions that rising in my mind. i don't know either its concern to this topic or not. but i need some valid, logical and based on ahadith answers.
      a) as my dearest sister A_Roza said after doing this sin she cried but not as much as she needs to or she should to... its mean she doesn't have that fear of sin which she should have in her heart... my question is that is this happened because Allah blocked our heart from his mercy as he gives the concept of SUMMUN BUKMUN UMYUN FAHUM LA YERJEON ( deaf , dumb and blind they will not return to the path towards Allah) in his book. is it because of thins thing?? if it is... then how we can do Astghfar in such way that Allah unblock our heart...i am a socialized person and i love to do this. i saw many time this thing that people do sin, they know they have done wrong thing, they know Allah is now unhappy from them, they want to do Astghfar as well but they cant feel the peak of the emotions and fear of the sins that they need to or should to... is it because of this thing that Allah blocked the path that goes towards him?

      • Do astegfar as much as you can.sitting, standing, laying, walking, working ,playing. Do it consciously and do it unconsciously. It is a fortress against sins. Whenever a thought of doing sin or past sin comes in mind do astegfar with more concentration understanding meaning of each word. And Prophet(S.A,W) told us this: استغفر اللہ ربی من کل ذنب واتوب الیہ۔۔

    • Assalam o Alaikum
      Can you please help me as you know is Ramadan now and i was really an addict of Handjob i didnt even done sex but i was an addict of handjob o promised to Allah before Ramadan that i will never do it again bcz my result is comming up so ill mever do it again but today on 15th Ramadan i done it again i am really very ashamed now and i am trying to tawbah again and again plzz let me know i am so scared now i promised that i will go on Aitiqaff and plzz let me know ill be forgived or not ?

  3. Wa'alaykumsalam,

    Bro Abu Abdul Bari has given a great advise.

    I also think that you took sin of zina lightly. To tell you about zina, know that it is one of the most serious crime in Islam as stated above requires hadd punishment which is 100 lashes for unmarried person and lashes then stoning to death for married person. Our prophet said “No zani/zaniyah is a believer at the time when they are committing zina..."(Bukhari, Muslim)

    Zina causes corruption in the ummah, in addition to it being a gravely major sin and transgression against the rights of Allah, it is also a transgression against the dearest and noblest thing that a person can possess, which is his honour, Allah said "And We have certainly honored the children of Adam..." (Quran 17:70) as it is morally wrong, it is filth, shameless act and in involves serious negative consequences, evils and shame that result from it, which may last for a long time.

    Zina is a serious crime in the sight of Allah (top 3) as Allah has mentioned zina along side worshipping idol and murder which are absolutely forbidden in Islam. “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; ”(Quran 25:68-69).

    Therefore, follow the advise of the previous comment. and also remember that Allah said

    And of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil deeds until death faces one of them and he says: "Now I repent;" nor of those who die while they are disbelievers. For them We have prepared a painful torment. (Quran 4:18)

    So turn in repentance sincerely and leave all that evil,

    Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful. And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive, (Quran 39:53-55)

    Know that Allah is Severe in punishment and that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Quran 5:98)

    • as it is morally wrong, it is filth, shameless act and in involves serious negative consequences, evils and shame that result from it, which may last for a long time. - This is so true. I feel so much shame and disgrace.

      I assure you brother, I don't take Zina lightly anymore. I think I did take it lightly before.

      Thank you for your advice.

  4. you remind me of the hadeeth wherre the Prophet pbuh says "a wise person is one who is cautious about committing sins and a foolish person is one who does the act and begs for mercy afterwards.

    But Allah is the forgiver of sins, and the One Who covers all sins, the One who hids our wrong actions - we are not accountable for thoughts - unless we act on them.

    Practically speaking - try not to think too badly about yourself - you are young - and young people are foolish - but now pay for your sins by doing good acts. There is a hadeeth - in Nawawi 40 hadeeths - an esteemed scholar and a trusted book - that says one bad act is recorded as one bad act - however one good act is recorded as at least 10 times more and as many as countless good acts - so follow a sin with a charity and it will compensate for it - but you have to rely on Allah and believe he is the one who forgives - Rahman means merciful, so we say bismillah irahman ir raheem for His mercy.

    Do not lose hope of allah's love and mercy - just as your mothe loves you, allah loves you 1000 times more than you can imagine.

    but stop seeing the guy- that isthe same as doing a charity -avoiding a sin is the same as doing a good act and you will be rewarded for it

    Allah loves you

    be happy and learn from what happened.

    peace

    • avoiding a sin is the same as doing a good act and you will be rewarded for it - I didn't know this. Allah made things so easy for us. Alhamdulillah. I can never give in to my nafs ever again (in Sha Allah). I want to feel this dertermined all the time now and whenever I don't I shall remember your advice!

      I think, if Allah helps me, I can change my young foolish ways to a mature respectable woman some day.

      Thank you for your time and help.

      • Sister,

        Let me tell you few things out of my own experience with which i believe Allah changed my life and and i hope and pray this may change your life and also be a reason for my celebration on the day of judgement.

        Sister, first of all

        1. You cant stop the sins instantly, but you can do it eventually.

        2. Dont ever expose your sins in such public posts, Bcos Allah covered your sin with a veil and dont try unveiling it (Yess Sister Allah knew you are a week creation and his grateness he covers your sins - Hadees). Instead, speak personally to some best ulamas/scholars.

        3. Salah. Believe me sister salah will change your life completely. Do Salah by understanding the recitations in it. Assume I am standing infront of Allah who didnt removed my soul when i was sinning. Salah changed my life sister. Hence concentrate on salah to the best. Pray to Allah for giving pleasure in salah. Sister you wont able to lift your fore head from sajada after some time. No evil things come close to your mind between 2 salahs. I drop down concentration in salah and i feel like shaytan is taking me granted.

        4. Durood on free time. Sister recite durood whenever you get free time. Travelling, coocking, walking etc.

        5. Study more about islam. Sulaiman Moola a giant scholar from South africa changed my life sister. Listen to him over youtube.

        6. Value your time. If you are free sit quite sister if cant do some good deeds. Dont go to social medias. Major changed happened to me after deleting facebook and whatsapp accounts an year ago.

        7. I conclude sister, So gradually develop a sense of self respect that I need live like best muslimah. Increase salah and good deeds. Try to get close to Allah. Then think about your sins sister. You will weep and sobb like a drowning women. Unless you get close to him you wont feel satisfied with yout repentance.

        Allah loves your way of wordings as well. A great repenter whom Allah referred as his friend was repented saying, "Allah, if your greatness will reduce by forgiving then dont forgive me Allah, but I know your greatness will never reduce. If your greatness will increase by not forgiving me, then dont forgive me but i know your greatness is stable. Hence Allah forgive me."

        Structure of repentance to make it better:
        1. Perform Wuzzoh believing as water falls out of my each organ, Allah will forgive the sins done on that organ.
        2. Perform 2 raka salah prior repentance
        3. Recite "La ilaha illa antha subuhan ka innee kunthu minaddhalimeen" 100 times
        4. Recite "Asthagfirullah al Adheem" 40 times
        Then seek repentance with all trust on Allah that Allah will forgive.

        Signs of accepted repentance:
        1. You will not feeling going back to the old sin and you feel like getting pleasure such sins
        2. Allah will change your life. You will be more and more worried for even small sins

        Finally sister, ALLAH IS WAITING HERE YOU OUT LIKE A MOM WAITING FOR HER SON GONE AWAY FROM HER FOR LONG LONG TIME. JUST WALK BACK TO HIM. HE WILL RUN TO YOU. ALLAH LOVES REPENTANCE OF YOURS MORE THAN THE DEEDS OF A PIOUS MAN. SISTER WHAT PLEASURE YOU GOT DOING ALL THESE IN DUNYA? NOTHING!! GET CLOSE TO ALLAH, YOU WILL FEEL THOUSAND TIMES MORE PLEASURE IN OBEYING ALLAH BY CONTROLLING YOUR LUST.

        I know I am not the right person to tell all this sister. But I pray Allah for you sister. I will not have a better deed than you are turning to Allah. I hope your piousness will come to my rescue sister. I am studying islamic knowledge in kerala state of India Country. All these sentenses were not pre-palnned or structured but written as it was coming to my mind with the knowledge acquired from my teachers.

        "ALLAH LOVES YOU SISTER. ALLAH LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANY ONE"

        • This is something i needed at the moment... I don't know whether it helped the sister or not but it helped me so JAZAK ALLAH

        • what if the boy and girl both are ashamed on their act and are repenting from Allah... but now they dont want to break the relationship. they want to get married with each other. so is it okay for the girl to forgive the boy and to move on?

  5. i know exactly how u feel. truth is that u are right when u said that shaitan can lead us to think that we dont deserve Allah(S.W.A;s) mercy yet that isnt true. as a hadeeth i read said that th prophet PBUH said: a sin is an act that when you alone between u and Allah(S.W.A) u feel bad about it.

    no the key isnt feeling bad about not being strong enough to prevent the sin. its about being able to genuinely try ur best with everything that is in u NOT to do it again. to just say it and not mean it is useless. Allah(S.W.A) Knows whats in our hearts.

    but to say it, feel it and mean it is another thing entirely. we were made flawed and its part of being human to make mistakes. Allah(S.W.A) States in the Quran that His Mercy Surpasses His Fury. (or something like that may Allah(S.W.A) Forgive me if i missworded it)

    but yeah i used to have that problem too. and actually doubt is a terrible thing in Islam because of what it brings forth. when i used to feel like that..it was like giving up on myself, i also never felt worthy of Allah(S.W.A)'S Forgiveness and instead of setting myself right would fall deeper.

    so i went on Umrah and prayed that i NEVER enter that cycle EVER again inshaAllah cus i do more harm to myself then good. and that if and when im weak and wrong, that i DO stand tall and genuinely try with evey fibre of my being to correct my mistake no matter how weak i may be any repeat it. i need to strive inshaAllah. and ever since ive been alot better al7hamdullillah. life is a test so not everything is easy.

    though i went to Umrah if u cant go doesnt mean u cant sincerely pray to Allah(S.W.A) and ask what u need. and another thing...we should never hesitate to ask Allah(S.W.A) For our needs cus Allah(S.W.A) is The All Knowing, Powerful.

    never doubt your connection with Allah(S.W.A) because in the end it is HE Who always saves us from ourselves, al7hamdulillah.

    tip: pray tahajjud prayer, a time when Allah Sub7hanAllah asks whether or not any of His slaves ask anything of him, and our duas are answered inshaAllah. its the 3rd part of the night so th latest time to pray it would be sm time be4 fajr prayer. if u cld set ur alarm a little earlier on a weekend or something if u wish to.
    i enjoyed your post, i was able to relate.
    tc

  6. Salam!

    It will never stop if you don't nip it in the bud. Marriage wont help.

    Take drastic measures in getting away, make friends with good Muslim girls.
    don't discuss this much as the discussion will make u think of it.

    Think all the time Allah is watching, every second, every minute. Keep mind away from bad thoughts.

    ITS A WAR with Shaitan, don't loosen up. EVER!

    Continue till you die.

    The nafs is like a lion that has tasted blood, once it tastes the pleasure of a sin, it wont leave you alone.

    Good Luck! remember its a war. So be armed with zikr of Allah

  7. Only have Internet Explorer. IE may have the best filter. Click on tools there. Then click on content and enable. When you block filth there you cannot unblock it unless you know your password.

    Keep Allah's Judgment and tawba Istighfar in your heart. Before it's too late to make amends. Oh Allah please Help us stop doing evil before the Day of Judgment. Only to You Allah we belong and must return. Oh Allah only You Can Forgive again and again, those who repent, believe, and do right, who,- in fine, are ready to receive true guidance. Secretly give money to the poor for Allah's Acceptance of our repentance. Astaghfirullah.

    Rabbighfirli wa li wallidayya wa lil Mu'mineena yawma yaqumul hisaab
    Oh Allah, Forgive me and my parents and believers on The Day when the reckoning shall come to pass. La ilaaha illa Allah. Ya Al Ghaffar. Astaghfirullah wa atoobu ilayh.

    • Salam Bro,

      Firefox is a lot of better then Internet Explorer.

      You can use a lot Addons on Firefox, which are not on Internet Explorer. And Firefox is a lot faster...

      Therefore you should give a try to firefox Insallah...

      • Wa laikum asalam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatu. Blocked content is the only concern, though. Not the speed. It's only a self restraint issue. It's easy to unblock indecent things on Firefox. We need internet service that makes it impossible to unblock evil content when it's blocked. We just want to keep our souls safe in Allah's Refuge. Audhoo billah.

        • Blocked content is the only concern. We need the safest (not the fastest but the safest) web browser. A web browser that makes it impossible to unblock blocked content. I only found that on IE. Audhoo billah.

  8. A valid regret is to do what causes Allah's Wrath on the Day of Judgment. Regret the sin only cause it may earn Allah's Wrath if it doesn't stop before death. That's true tawba. Same as Taqwa. Only seek to fear Allah's Wrath or lost of Allah's Mercy. That's also called Ikhlas/sincere intention. Sincere intention is most important in Islam/true faith.

  9. A_roza this may seem odd but I have been going through somewhat the same sort of thing. If possible can we talk? I'm just a stranger with a computer and you might not want to. ..but I was just looking for advice
    fatima

  10. Assalam o aalaikum,

    Please read this page: http://www.muhammadbinyusrat.com/blog/taubah-and-istighfar.html

    Being hopeless is the best way you can get back to a sin.

  11. Am girl of 21 yrs.....i need help i dont know what 2 do eny more i feel like giving up bt they smthing thats telling me dont...coz i keep on doing the same sin...i even promised GOD not 2 do it ......bt evry time i just find out that i did...and the worst part is that i cant stop myself...i had tha wen you born GoD write's wether you will go heel or Paradise.....n if u ment 2 go 2 hell you will change the last minuts....is it possible that is the case for me, i was never like this before it seems am turninig to be bad person and my big problem is that ponography...Subhana Allah....i tried my best but i keep on watching that....please help me how i can stop this i love Alah so much...i need help coz i even feel ashamed of Allah asking for 4givnes coz i keep on repeating the same think

    • Salaams,

      There are several posts about the issue you are needing help with. Please search our archives, and in shaa Allah you will find some good help there.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com EDitor

    • 5 ways to Stop porn addiction
      1.Read 5 prayers regularly .
      2.Always be im wuzu
      3.Decrease being alone.
      4.Read Quran daily and say istagfaar 3 times after every prayer
      5.Make firm believe that Allah is watching whatever you are doing.. you are not alone Allah is always in your Heart.

      Allah bless you and all believers. Come to Allah 🙂

    • Brother Assalam Alaikum..

      Allah loves you brother. Thats why your still alive and he brought you to this platform.

      Let tell you few things brother..

      1. Every time you watch porn Shaytan is looking and laughing at you. The angels of Allah(who guards you always) are still fighting against shaytan untill you commit it. Every time you watch porn you are leaving the angels despondent.

      2. Brother try this one day atleast.. Think of Shaythan and angels are fighting and shaytan is laughing at you and put all your efforts back off. Then delete all contents for the sake of those angels. The angels will pray for you brother.

      3. Think about the Hoors of Jannah watching you every time and they are worried that your are watching porn and feel ashamed of what your watching. Just back off yourself again for the hoors of jannah.

      4. The eye having seen plenty of porn will be able to see Hoors of Jannah? Does these eyes are capable of that? Will these eyes able to see the bounty of jannah? Think brother. Take your time and be away from bad friends before thinking all these.

      5. Brother, as per medical science, It is not possible for a man to satisfy his spouse who addicted porn prior to marriage. Same applicable post marriage as well.

      Finally brother.. Take a decision to stop all this. But never ever ever say let me watch once again before purifying myself. Nooooooo.. Shaytaan is happy unitll you say i will do later or tomorrow. Take a decision right now. Delete all those vids and download plenty of short islamic reminders vis from youtube (minimum 50-100 vids). You will feel watching one..two..then you will addict to that brother. THEN REPENT TO ALLAH. ALLAH WILL CONVERT YOUR BAD DEEDS INTO GOOD DEEDS (QUR-AN).

      Even if you go back to sin dont despair and continue brother, again run back to Allah and repent again. But remember, dont sin hoping all will anyway forgive. Eventually you will hate even thinking of that.

      BROTHER YOUR REPENTANCE AND CRY WILL MAKE YOU CLOSE TO ALLAH. DON'T GIVE UP THE OPPORTUNITY.

      Story of my close friend:

      He was also addicted to such vice since several years. One day fortunately by somehow he saw a video in youtube. That video was "Face of Allah" (uploaded By Soldiers of Allah) which turned his life. He then stopped facebook, whatsapp and also stopped spending more time in internet. Started listening quran translation in his mother tongue. downloaded more and more videos of islamic reminders and started watching all those. He then increased salahs and he used spend long time in sajada. He completely changed. Few months ago, he saw the prophet of allah in his dream. I dont have any thing more say than this brother.

      Please contact our dawa page for further clarification required.

  12. I know you can do this sis. It has been 3 years since i committed zina. I thought i loved him. That was not love. It was lust. Lust is dangerous. This is why you kept going back to him. I kept going back because i gave him my virginity and i was scared so i thought i had to marry him so i stayed with him. He is out of my life now because i kept him out. You have to stay strong and tell him to leave. No good man would ever touch you. He would marry you. I am so much happier but will make taubah for the rest of my life. I disgraced Allah swt and my family. I will live with this for the rest of my life. I was a good person and i let this one thing ruin the rest of my life. I have a good man in my life now but i feel like i will lose him because of my past. Allah swt has protected me. His mercy is so great. Alhamdulillah

  13. asalam o alikum,
    i have a question i m 26 years old i m in relation with a married man i have committed sin with him not completely but did it he is my life he is every thing i consider him as a husband i feel guilty but cant stop it i tried many time to get marry but couldnt fine any good person....tell me what to do ALLAH is angry thats why he is not showing any way i want to live i want complete life i want kids but how how i can???he cant get marry me because of his wife islam allows him but society never allow kindly tell me what to do plzzzzzzz

    • anum, take responsibility for your own actions. He is NOT your husband, no matter how you "consider him". What you are doing is a huge sin. And yes, you CAN stop if you choose. The ONLY thing to do is to cut off your relationship with this man, as it is going nowhere and will only cause everyone pain.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. i cant accept any other person.when i will get marry and wont be sincere with my husband it will not be sin????

  15. Um slm I say this because I've doen it to but don't wory must sister Allah ta'ala wll always be there 4u so if u see that man again just tell ur parents the whole story and u guys must get married coz its the only way to resolve sieng him and having that 'GUILT AGAIN' so we will pray for u and we love u

  16. I have never had sex before but I do other things..which is all part of zina I guess...and I keep goin back to it I have prayed and fast and made promises to Allah I won't allow such to happen again but it happend recently and I feel awful..am sad and depressed I feel Allah is punishing me...The only reason I dnt stop the guy from touching me is because he helps me financially he kept promising and deciving me that he will marry me. I feel hopeless I dnt know what to do..after 5yrs he told me he dsnt hv any plans of marrying me he told me he just wants me for making out those kept asking for sex which I hvnt given in am still a virgin but we have done other things..I have decided to stay away I just hope Allah has mercy on me..and I keep cursing that guy for taking advantage of me..my heart is soo heavy I kept saying I will never forgive him for deciving me

  17. La hawla ola kuwata illa billa.............Dear concerned, I have read few comments here. Mashallah. You regret your past.. Who makes you to regret? Allah is the ans.The worse the sin and after that the true tawba makes the soul pur. Allah guided u to here to make tawba.

    I think this is for all people to get lesson from this story. So as me.

    Amin

  18. please help me
    basically i watched a really sexual scene but when i was looking at it i was in a trans like
    please help have i commited zina
    if so what should i do

    • sarah, you have not committed zina but you have committed a sin and done a haram thing. Make a sincere tawbah to Allah and avoid such things in the future.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  19. zina isnt only the act of engaging in ....
    there is zina of eyes and ears too.

  20. asalam o alikum mulana sahab

    • Nosheen, I deleted the rest of your comment. I'm sorry but I have to ask that comments be submitted in English so that I can moderate them.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • My father has passed away i want to ask about the life after death. ..most if the questions come in my mind like where is his soul,what does he want to me,what can i do for my father now what ever i recite for him allah send to him by my name,what can i do for his to make his grave full of peace,where is he now? He died suddenly he was very pious man....plzzz tell me will i meet with my father after my death??plzzz answer

        • The best thing you can do is make dua' for him. Ask Allah to protect him from the punishment of the grave, make his grave light and easy for him, forgive his sins, have mercy on him on Yawm al-Qiyamah, and make him one of the people of Jannah. You can also ask that you be reunited with him in Jannah.

          If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  21. asslmalkm,
    i don't want to reveal my name.in brief my father used to beat me and curse when i was child.So my opinion became totally opposing him all the time when i grew up.
    I am the one who goes with father to hospital all the time with my father .But before hi death i couldn't visit him as i was doing job,,,,,,But i had decided to go and visit my father before his death on the same day i had prayed to allah to forgive both me and father.But the next day when i woke up he had already died.......so im thinking whether i have tauba or not as i don' talk to my father as it always makes quarrel......im dying and totally disappointed whether my prayer will be acceptable to allah or not after fathers death.......

    • shoukath, Allah knows that you intended to go visit your father. The Messenger of Allah (sws) said, "Actions are according to intentions, and everyone shall have what he intended.

      Allah is Merciful. Just make sure to always pray for your father. After each salat, make dua' and ask Allah to protect your father from the punishment of the grave, to forgive his sins, and make him one of the people of Jannah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  22. Salaam,

    I kept a sin of mine secret for many years until Allah exposed that sin. Not only in front of family and friends but it came out in such a way that TV/ internet / email / press / media (all over the world) found out about it. Could you please explain the reasoning behind sins being exposed in this world? Jazakallah.

  23. In quran there is written which means that who do tawba Allah will convert his sins to good deeds so tawba from greater sin is more profitful.
    One is fear of Allah and other is hope. In young age fear should be more than hope

  24. May Allah protect u.

  25. Assalamualaikum everyone,

  26. Please surat ad duha (surat 93) in the quran and look up its meaning. It will help you trust me.

  27. Even no body is perfect in world Allah will forgive your sins because you have realised your mistakes it's never too late in life ok take care have full faith in god nasima

  28. Assalam o Alykum

    I have committed sin and I did intentionally with a innocent girl, now the girl became lusty and she going with everyone and my thoughts always full of lust even if a girl or wonma walking on the road i scanned her body with my mind i feel very lust ans i m unable to control myself. in this situation can I kill myself? becoz i know suicide is haram but also zina haram if I kill myself may be innocent girls will be safe from me. because i am helpless with my thoughts, i fear Allah but even Salah sujood my mind thinks how to catch girls. I love lust i m addicted. I know Allah will forgivve me if I repent but I dont want to lose my lusty desires, becoz I m slave of lust, people say pray Allah will help u, I pray but when I came out Masjid If i say on the road a woman or girl then my mind urge me how she is sexy and she is body parts i know that is bad but i ma helpless. someone told me think ur sister and mother there but these trick also not helped me.
    so Can I Kill? may be I wont kill or may be i do but my situation is very bad, I knw that is bad but I m not controlling..

    • No, you cannot kill yourself. You must find a way to control your lust. Of course the recommended way is through marriage, and if you cannot marry now, then fasting. Do your best. This is one of the great tests of life.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I forgot to mention that i m maried but i am always go for bad even i know that is bad but i m not controlling even i think bad for my cousins i feel lusty when i see girls i m unable o control, and whose life i destryoed can i tell their parents to take care of ur daughter becoz now she is maintaining 4 5 man and one is old man, i destroyed her life. all what i have still i like lust and go for market only for seeing women. i m totally out of control...

  29. everyone listen ..
    since from three or fore months i am doing bad things seeing bad things and i want to leave all these things and i want to pray from Allah for fogiveness.please tell me what i do.
    Ya Allah please forgive me please please

  30. Assalam o Alykum,

    I dont know how to tell my problems. now you all can hate me becoz what I read here every people did sin and they regretting and they want to do Tawbah but my situation is is completely different what the people did I m i m reading their sins with happily and I m thinking why dont they do with me. and All people want tawbah but I m seeking more and more zina and day dreaming and I dont know I have fear of Allah or not but i use to do Salat not continuously, I am out of control my mind and always dreaming and depression going market only for seeing woman, and I have done lots of bad sins but i m not fulfilled. still I m seeking zina even i m not enough good for sex. but problem is i m not controlling my thoughts while reading or praying my mind already with someone else and doing with diffrent postures. So this is not good to me end my life becoz I knw myself I love Allah but I m not obeying and I m helpless. I want to share lots of thing but all is bad. you cannot imagine how I spoil relationships, I feel bad and guilty but again I want to do and I always thinnk Oh I miss that kind of act or postures, I do Tawbah in Masjid and Came out again I m Shaitan. even I hate myself but I m Unable to control my thoughts and even what I see and arround my society there good people and bad also, if i want to down my gaze if some one front of me then automaticall scan their body. Please give me solution, but Still I love Lust that is what I found abt me. See How bad I am even here people dying for tawbah and reading their story like romantic ways. I m fixing my presence there with them for that act.
    Please give me Solution
    Thanks..

    • Do astegfar as much as you can.sitting, standing, laying, walking, working ,playing. Do it consciously and do it unconsciously. It is a fortress against sins. Whenever a thought of doing sin or past sin comes in mind do astegfar with more concentration understanding meaning of each word. And Prophet(S.A,W) told us this: استغفر اللہ ربی من کل ذنب واتوب الیہ۔۔

    • @lusty Dear Brother

      i guess brother kamran is right. you keep doing istighfar and keep praying and start doing fast every day. one more thing dont eat too much food. just start praying everytime continue this act for about 40 days or so. try to fast as much as possible in these days and do istighfar as much as you can.

  31. if you did tawbah then definatly Allah is the greatest he know everything about you dont worry just pray and tawbah again everything ll be fine sister

  32. what if the boy (with whom the girl did zinna) ask for forgiveness from her?? should she forgive him??

  33. Allah has told shaitaan that if my creation created mountains of sins and each turn towards me sincerely I will forgive them every time. All Is not lost. Try and beat shaitaan but always remember Allah will forgive you. Give charity and do good and believe in Allah and his mercy. I wish you well.

  34. Assalamu alaykum
    We should all understand the story of iblis
    Iblis had rejected Allah's command to bow down to Prophet Adam AS and when Allah asked him why he did not follow his command, Iblis told Allah that he was the 'better' creation since he was made of fire. Allah cursed Iblis and the surprising thing is that after he was cursed he made dua and asked Allah to make him live until the last day and that by his might, he would lead them all astray (children of adam) and Allah had accepted his dua with the exception of those who follow him who wouldn't be lured by shaitaan's deception.

    So the moral of the story is that if Allah can accept the dua of Iblis after he was cursed, what make us humans think that we can not be forgiven for our deeds. Allah loves those who repent and ask for his forgiveness and we should not think think that Allah won't listen or forgive us when we sin.

    We are human and we make mistakes, so my brothers and sisters, we should always make tawba all the time for both the sins we have knowingly have committed and those that we are not aware of. Jazakallah Khair

  35. Is there any way I could email A_Roza?

  36. I have been in brought up in a bad environment coeducational school so I was really interested in relationships n making bfs from the start!
    I was 14 when I had my first relationship, since then I had 3 boyfriends, and I was physical with all three of them, I had my last relation in 2012 and I cried a lot and asked for forgiveness for what I did n how I was physical. But that was over I felt like I'm washed as pure as I was born and I felt so light. Maybe this is why I forgot everything n took a new start!
    Then I started university.. Its 2016 and I am 20 years old, I made a boyfriend again, didn't get physical that much, he had just kissed on my cheek! I sent him pictures with my bra on when we were together, (because i loved him and wanted to marry him) then we started to have quarrels, so to please him and get him back I sent him a video of myself dancing and in another video kissing on my hand to seduce him n also sang songs for him on whatsapp audio notes! But it was over and I couldn't get him back n he said that we are just friends, so I blocked him by saying that no need of staying friends all your love was a lie!
    I told my mother a little bit she scolded me but made me move in by saying that all of this is just a sin so never get into it again.
    I am a syed girl. There's a different respect for syed girls but mene kisi cheez ka lehaz nahin rakha! Abh jab WO chor gaya hai toh mujhay ehsas hua hay k mene kya gunah kiyay hen he was a namehram! Me Allah se maafi maangun bhi toh kis moo se?
    Mene koi ek bar gunah toh kiya nahin! Bar bar kiya! Shareef MA bap hen mere, mene Jo videos usko bhejdiin hen dance-kissing-and songs.. Meri izzat kisi TV ki dancer se bhi kam hai!
    Mujhay na maafi mangnay ka haq hai
    Na meri koi izzat hai
    Na mujhay umeed hai k mujhay acha life partner milayga.
    Allah b ek ghalti k lye ek bar maf krtay hen, bar bar nahin
    Me karoon toh akhir kya karoon? Rejection, guilt aur sharmindigi se dil phatta jaraha hay.
    Meri kya izzat hay? Qabar me lejanay k lye kya hay mere pas? Dunya bhi gawa di mene aur akhirat bhi. Karoon toh kya karoon?

    • Your feelings are poetic....

      Na mujhay umeed hai k mujhay acha life partner milayga.

      We all do things we are or ashamed of. Yes you are a Syed girl, I understand where your coming from about Izzat and honour of family and samaj and what will society think.

      Never lose hope of Allah, Allah is as you think of Him.. there is always hope with Allah - People may disappoint you but Allah never will.

      I'm sure you will find a good life partner, who will love and respect you and take care of you. a husband who will love you like a man should, not some immature boy!

      Boyfriends are bad news. You and your boyfriend (ex) are young and love at that age is just fickle and not strong, you do need to grow up abit more to realise what true love is... and no truer love than loving Allah or His Messenger like crazy... so much so you search for Allah's love and his Habeeb 🙂

      Your young so I don't think you understand what love is... I'm 40 years old single male and know what love is!

      Getting married should be with the right suitable person, not just getting for the sexual part of it.

      Focus yourself on your studies at University (Mashallah - i'm very proud of you) (this time will not come back again... time is always slipping away and we all think we will live forever, no-one has that guarantee, and do something in life you really wanted to do? Where others can be helped? Teach English or Urdu to disabled children or children with learning difficulties.... forget boys/toys... life is too short to get involved so early in life! Time with boyfriends is a waste of time, emotions, and energy, and when it goes wrong you will be left feeling the pain, because you thought the other person loved you as a boyfriend but he didnt.

      You need to be wise even at 20. May Allah grant you a wonderful life partner, Achi Zingadi Ghuraaz saki

      Genuine Love and respect in a marriage by a husband is like this.... you need when the time is right for a husband to love you like this....

      Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte
      Tere bina kya wajood mera

      Tujhse juda gar ho jaayenge
      Toh khud se hi ho jaayenge judaa

      Kyunki tum hi ho
      Ab tum hi ho
      Zindagi ab tum hi ho
      Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
      Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

      Tera mera rishta hai kaisa
      Ik pal door gawara nahi
      Tere liye har roz hai jeete
      Tujh ko diya mera waqt sabhi
      Koi lamha mera na ho tere bina
      Har saans pe naam tera

      Kyunki tum hi ho
      Ab tum hi ho
      Zindagi ab tum hi ho
      Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
      Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

      Tumhi ho… Tumhi ho…
      Tere liye hi jiya main
      Khud ko jo yun de diya hai
      Teri wafa ne mujhko sambhala
      Saare ghamon ko dil se nikala
      Tere saath mera hai naseeb juda
      Tujhe paake adhoora naa raha hmm..

      Kyunki tum hi ho
      Ab tum hi ho
      Zindagi ab tum hi ho..
      Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
      Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

  37. A_Roza, I'd love to hear how you're doing now. I'm in an extremely similar situation, and hearing from you and how you've overcome this issue as time has passed would help me so much. I'm lost. Please, write back.

    • Dear Fatima,

      May Allah help and guide you.

      Your lost... please explain why you feel lost? I will not judge you, so don't worry.

      Do you have any sincere female friends who can talk to you and or help you? Sisters that are open minded non-judgemental sisters whom you can talk to... holding all these feelings/emotions inside is not a good thing.

      I think your going through a phase where your trying to figure out your bearings and direction.

      When you say your feel lost, please explain how you feel and are feeling?

      Sometimes we all need time alone to reflect and think for ourselves and be strong or a sincere friend to talk to openly.. in your case a sincere female friend.

      Have you performed Umrah? Have you ever thought about visiting Masjid Nabawi or Masjid Haramain... OMG, these places are Game Changers!

    • Dear Fatima,

      I would also suggest praying Salah and reading of the Noble Quran even if it's only a few sentences each day... to bring solace to the heart and mind and a source of guidance from Allah. Pray to him for Hidiyaah.

      Relationships, especially physical relationships affect the heart and mind and so one must guard themselves whom you choose to give it to?

      Change can come only from you and within yourself, remember nobody can do this for you we can only advise.

      Remember You can, You will, You must! Keep repeating this to yourself.

      Boyfriends and physical relationships before marriage will not bring true happiness at all, when it goes wrong will only bring sadness and heartache. This is something we have picked up from the habits and lifestyle of those in the West, boyfriends and girlfriends etc etc etc ( I live in the West but chose to never to have a girlfriend and follow this disease) even though I could so easily.. but life is short and I am answerable for my actions and choice of lifestyle.... Jannah and Allah's pleasure is the number 1 a Goal and aim.

      When you give up something for the sake, love, and pleasure of Allah, He will give you something in return far greater and better!

  38. Dear Sister,

    One thing i learn from my past mistakes is that we need to learn how to focus in our lives..

    focus on how to control your nafs and focus how to control ur wishes amd focus how to do things that are beneficial like study and prayers

    we need to learn how to avoid distraction and focus on a single agenda that is avoiding sins

    may ALLAH forgive and bless us and our families aamin

  39. Dear Brothers & Sister

    I today's era where information (useful or harmful) is completely in our access and reach, day & night 24 x 7, through our cellphones, internet, TV, media, etc, people like me who are putting their feet in two boats simultaneously are facing this on-going challenge to separate themselves from the repeated sins. We go regret and believe that we did wrong, however, as the time progresses further, the feeling of guilt fades away and we again indulge ourselves into the same sin.

    I was just browsing a few blogs to get a practical advise to overcome this problem, and I came across a great suggestions. It is suggested by a brother to evaluate as which means or ways connect us with that sin. For example, is it internet, and/ or visiting a particular site, watching a particular TV program, or use of cellphone, etc. Whatever are the means leading to that sin just abolish them and stick to your determination to avoid them. Inshallah after a while, we will able to stop these ongoing distractions, etc.

  40. Hello the same story is mine i actually dont have xina bit other things i feel like i m the badest person in the world bcz whenever me n my brother are alone we used to get nacked and touch our private parys i repnt from god but do this sin again n again plzzz help me in this

    • Aoa
      Please help me.

      • Please read the answers given on this and similar posts, and on our series of articles about tawbah and forgiveness (links at the top of the page).

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Well first learn what haya ie self respect, dignity and shame is then you wouldn't commit or think of such things. Any sane person would know it's disgusting. The person who is suppose to protect ur honour your commiting such vile acts with him? Change your ways for real. Also everyone stop broadcasting your sin sins are covered up by Allah and u have no right to bring them out in the open... There is no need to go into details when telling people u have faltered and going into details about sins is the way of the west. Even though we were brought up amongst them we should be different. We should have some shame when speaking typing whatever... We all go through hardships and difficulties etc if we are sincere we will cry to Allah. Make dua ask for his help. Learn from his book not read it then start doubting ourselves learn and apply it to our lives. Best way to stay away from zina and other sins is to live like a Muslim not like the disbelievers we are surrounded by.. The original poster ur problem only existed because Satan tricked u one step at a time into getting into a haraam relationship.. The first step is always the look.. Why are we commanded to lower our gazes?? If u don't want to take sins lightly then it's time to take Gods words seriously.. That's all salaam..

  41. I know this is an old post.. you might not even read this comment but I hope you email me or at least reply to me.
    I know how you feel and i am feeling almost hopeless in a way that i can never trust myself. I love Allah and i really am trying to change. Ive sinned one of the most major sins and idk anyone who can relate to how i feel. I hope you reply me soon as to tell me how are you doing now and if youre better so that I may feel motivated and that I'm not alone in this because thats honestly how i feel right now in this. Alone and im losing grip of myself and losing hope and I cant seem to find myself or who i used to be i do hope you reply letting me know if you feel better

    • Maybe this is a process to find yourself in the confusion your going through.

      You actually don't need someone else to motivate you... you have found that very person to motivate yourself and that is you alone. You will need to find your answers and that person can only be you and no one else!

      I suggest going on Umrah.

      “Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” Rumi

      “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

      “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi

  42. I think you should get married to him, if he is not ready to mary you, you ditch him and find some decent religious guy who can help you follow and increase you Imaan.
    Not getting married at correct age is the reason of your situation.
    Pray alot keep yourself most of the busy praying. When you do wazzu shaitan who is encouraging you to do zinna goes away. Dont given yourself time to think of your BF, imagine if you convince Allah he can give you whatever you want , ferrari , gold, diamond, luxurious life, but you are making him angry just for sin.
    Think about it. Start praying as more as possible and get married asap.
    In sha allah. Your problem will get solved.

  43. Asalamu alikum
    Iam a srilankan and iam 22 years old boy
    Iam having some kind of fear about what will happend to me after my death coz i have done soo many sins in my life
    Most worst thing what i have done is zina i have done it somany times.......
    And now iam making my mind and iam praying five times a day doing good deeds as much as possible and now a days i getting sick too much soo iam fearing my death coz of the sickness (iam not a that much sick person my minds think like that ) i fear allah now and how can i ask thooba and will allah forgive me....
    Even now a days i cant sleep even i feel like iam going to die i dont know what just happend to me please suggest me some dhuas.... give some ideas to make my mind
    Salams
    (Hope to get a reply very soon insha allah)

  44. A person came to Prophet Hazrat Muhammad PBUH and asks his privacy to tell him some thing. All the other people by the order of Prophet went out. Then the person told the story very embarrassingly and shamefulness. He told that he use to steal the coffins of dead in the grave yard and sell them. Few days back he dug a grave and found a young beautiful girl's dead body. He put out the coffin and seen the naked dead girl.
    Can some one complete this waqaiyaa with reference is it true???

    • The most effective way to stop any sin no matter how big is to visit graveyards and emergency section of a hospital during weekends. Seeing the dead bodies in a graveyard makes us realize that we are also going to die one day. Our whole life reduced to this. That's why the prophet encouraged us to visit graveyards. It reminds us of the hereafter. In the emergency section you see mostly young people in accident cases. This reminds us death can come at any time. They were perfectly healthy but in a moment everything is lost.

  45. I performed zina (kind of) today, after reading all of them, I now came to know how to help myself in the state that I am in right now. Thanks to all. May ALLAH(SWT) forgive all of my and our sins.

  46. Assalamu alaikum sister,

    a recommendation that most of you're aware of and still wouldn't have tried it.

    Now swear to Allah that when I commit Zina again, I will pray 100 rakat in the name of Allah. Just swear it truly and be hold of it. So whenever you are in the position to do Zina, even shaitaan would not be happy about that, as he now knows that you would have to pray 100 rakat. Shaitaan cries everytime when we go to sujood and he has to cry n number of times if you're gonna pray hundred rakat. He laughs at you when you do Zina. So what do you think shaitaan would care about, his laugh or cry? As you would let him to cry, he wouldn't be happy you committing Zina. Allah knows the best.

    Swear it and be relaxed. Let us defeat shaitaan in a better way and May Allah bless us in this world and Hereafter. All praises goes to Allah swt.

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