Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Drugs, Zina, Apostasy and Shame!

"Forgive and Forget" isn't always that straightforward...

"Forgive and Forget" isn't always that straightforward...


My sister was married to a drug addict for 3 years. She married him with the hope of him stopping his addiction and to be a father to their daughter however when the baby was born they started using drugs together. We tried helping them but failed, they lost everything their home, jobs, and moved in with us.

They separated a year ago and ever since my sister's addiction became worse.We tried everything to help her but she always ended up running in the streets, we begged her to come home to live right and to stop but she wouldn't budge and then she  turned to Christianity, going to church etc!

We took her daughter away from her because she was in no state to be taking care of her and she doesn't deserve what she was putting her through. We cut all ties with her because in Islam we shun those who turn away from Allah.

She went to rehab on her own when she saw that we do not want anything to do with her. She now recently came back home saying that she has changed and she wants to live right and finally be a mother to her child.

Now am I wrong for thinking otherwise she tore our family apart, she lost all respect?


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4 Responses »

  1. Help your sister before she goes back to drugs. Tell her this the last time you are going to help.

  2. addiction is ugly, help your sister no matter how many times and efforts it takes to shake it off.

    Do not abandon her when she needs you the most. if you dont help her, then who will?

  3. As Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu,

    May Allah guide us all to the straight path.
    She is your sister and I do understand that it has been tough for you with all the things that you mentioned, but they are all in the past now. Also, in Islam we do not shun those who turn away from Allah, we try to help them get close to Allah until our and their last breath. Like in the example of Prophet Muhammad (May Peace be upon him) as he tried to help his uncle Abu Taalib, however, their guidance is in the hands of Allah. The only exception and people who are shunned are those that have directly revolted against Allah, and Allah has declared their death in a state of disbelief, like Iblees, Abu Jahl, Abu Lahab and so on. Since, Prophet Muhammad (May peace be upon him) is the seal of the prophets, you do not know what state a person is going to die in, except for those mentioned in seerah-hadith or quran, so try to get everyone close to Allah.

    She is your sister, you should love every girl, lady, woman you see on the street and wish Jannah for them, for them to be close to Allah, what you wish for yourself. She happens to be your blood, your sister. Do not shun her for some false pride in a false society. Prophet Muhammad (may peace be upon him) did not shun Umar Ibn Khattab in the days of Makkah, Khaled Ibn Waleed even after the battle of Uhud, even Wahshi was forgiven after killing Hamza Ibn Abdul Muttalib, and Hind was forgiven after chewing the liver of Hamza Ibn Abdul Muttalib, may Allah be pleased with them all. Islam and all our Prophets teach us to forgive. Remember how Yusuf (May Allah grant him peace) forgave his brothers[Surah Yusuf]. So shun our bad habits in the culture and assist your sister.

    It is very easy for me to advise you, may allah protect me and my family and everyone elses as well, and i know its had to put things in practice. Remember she is your sister, Allah forbid, its possible that she may get back into drugs again, but never leave her either until you die, or she dies, and may Allah take you both away when he is pleased with you both and unite you both with Rasool Allah in Jannah.
    As Salaam Alaikum

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    Whatever happened in the past, she is still your sister. Don't cut her out of your life without giving her a chance to prove whether she has changed. Addictions are horrible illnesses that can completely warp a person's personality and their sense of right and wrong; it's important for your sister to continue having professional support to help her rebuild her life and for her family to support her.

    If your sister is coming back to Islam and to her family, say Alhamdulillah - inshaAllah she can repent and do good deeds. Encourage her to strengthen her deen and place her trust in Allah that He will help her stay strong.

    If she is wanting to be a mother to her child, it's important that this is balanced against the needs of the child for safety and security. If social services are involved, there may be a legal process for her to go through, to prove to the authorities that she is well enough and prepared enough to shoulder the responsibilities of being a parent. If you have concerns about the safety of the child, it's important to raise these early so that they can be addressed.

    Midnightmoon editor

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