Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua against bad dua; love and family


I have a question about a good friend of mine. She is muslim and she wanted to marry a guy, he has become muslim. Unfortunately they cannot arrange the marriage because the family of the girl is against their marriage. They say that he cannot be a muslim like them and he has become muslim only for her. The boy's family also disagreed.

They (the boy and the girl) accepted it and they both had a very difficult time, but they were still friends afther that. They accepted their parents' dicision. No one accepted their relationship, nore as friends, nore as a couple. They were only friends after the problems with the family.

The girl's parents said that they will give a bad dua if they won't stop seeying each other. After a while the bad dua started to work. The guy who has become muslim had started an affair with some other non muslim/ kaafir girl and he has got some very bad influence of her, that's why it seems that the boy leaved Islam behind. He said to my friend (the girl) that he doesn't want her as her friend or partner, becouse of her parents opinion. He said that he has buried her in her heart and that he has given Islam the same place.

My friend (the girl) is almost depressive. She thinks that the bad dua has worked out on their relationship and friendship. The guy has become a non- muslim/ kaafir again and he has a non- muslim girlfriend.

My friend (the girl) knows that in Islam is a relationship as girlfriend/ boyfriend forbidden/ Haram and she won't do such a thing. She thinks that the bad dua of her parents has worked out and she thinks that she is now suffering because she was doing wrong things (things against Islam). I agree with that.

But I think that Allah has brought the two of them together. Nobody knows wether they are meant for each other or not. But I can see so much love in their eyes for each other, over and over again. Everyone was so jealous about their friendship. I think their is also an evil eye on them/ nazar.

I am questioning because I really care about my friend, she is so depressed and do a lot of dua's but I can see that it's not good for her health, she worries a lot. It is almost a year later, but she still thinks a lot about it. I am very worried and I want to see them together again InshAllah.

I have a few questions:
- does real love exist in Islam?
- is it forbidden to love someone in Islam?
- do you know a dua against Bad dua/ cursing prayer?
- how can the guy be muslim again?
- what is the best thing to do/ what can my friend do now?

Thank you very very much for the answers.

I don't know if they are ever coming together but I still hope you can answer my questions. Still we all believe that the thing is going to happen that Allah wants to be..

PLEASE help us out, any kind of answers will be appreciated.


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19 Responses »

  1. Real love exists in Islam, Islam allows the man and woman to chose his/her partner. Islam teaches us about the integrity of a family structure, there are books explaining the qualities of the perfect Islamic society. Without love, its going to be hard to imagine the concept of a perfect society. Now love does not mean that one transgresses and cross the limits. Men and women are also advised to refrain from intermingling. It is haram for a man to talk to stranger women without any legal reason. Same is true vice versa. Islam teaches us to lower our gaze when we are in public since Satan is always with us and may misguide us.

    do not worry about a bad dua... when someone makes a bad dua for someone, it flies up to the sky, and doors of heavens close, the bad dua returns to earth and the doors of earth close, it moves left and right but couldnt find any way out, it returns to the person whom the bad dua is made for, if its a valid bad dua...then it curses that person..if not then it returns to the originator of the bad dua and curses him/her.
    So worry not... just pray a lot from Almighty Allah and He is forgiving and merciful.

    Islam is not about hide and seek and jokes, it is about accepting the fact that There is no God but Allah and prophet Muhammed Peace be upon him is the messenger of Allah... You can accept Islam and stick to it.. Not throw it away like a lolly pop when you are fed up. Accepting it again ideally mean you have to accept it by heart otherwise the person is only going to make a fool of himself.

    you friend should start praying and asking Allah for help. Allah knows everything and He listens to us all. He will help us all in hard times and we should thank Him in good times. Always seek forgiveness and refuge from the wickedness of Satan. Allah is all knowing and forgiving, let us pray and give Him a chance to forgive us all and answer our prayers. He does not keep debts:)

  2. I am interested to know the source of Your posted answer. Is it from the Qur'an? Please give Surah and Ayat

    "do not worry about a bad dua... when someone makes a bad dua for someone, it flies up to the sky, and doors of heavens close, the bad dua returns to earth and the doors of earth close, it moves left and right but couldnt find any way out, it returns to the person whom the bad dua is made for, if its a valid bad dua...then it curses that person..if not then it returns to the originator of the bad dua and curses him/her".

    • I assume that Shabbir was referring to this hadith of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh):

      "When a person curses somebody or something, the curse goes up to heaven and the gates of heaven get closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates get closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed; if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise it returns to the person who uttered it.''

      [Hadith reported by Abu Dawud].

      There are also numerous hadith to the effect that if someone calls a Muslim a kafir, and he is not, then it returns on the one who said it. For example, Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bestow peace and blessings upon him) said, “If a man addresses his brother as, ‘O’ Disbeliever,’ it returns to one of them; either it is as he said or it returns to him.” (Agreed upon – in both Bukhari 10/427 and Muslim 60)

      Wael Editor

  3. Subhanallah. Alhamdullilah
    Its sounds fair too if the person doesnt deserve the bad dua then it shouldnt go to him or her

  4. JazakAllah hu Kharain, beautiful answer!

  5. asalaam a relation ship is haraam outside of marriage. Love is not haraam as long as its within islamic way and limits. Allah swt is The most Gracious the Most Merciful. In my opinion your mothers bad dua did not get granted a mother has a lot of love n may not mean it from her heart. Im sure before her bad dua there were many good duas such as. Hoping to bring u to the right path. You having a very good loyal muslim husband that would be good for u n ur family in this life and hereafter. And vise versa. Maybe that is the dua that has been granted and you may not know but what you feel is good for you may in reality be a lot of harm. So put your trust in Allah swt. This is all a blessing in disguise it is veryyyy hard to get through but even know the pain n loneliness is from Allah. He is giving you the chance to repent. He has mercy on you. He wants you to bring you closer to him. So instead of wasting this chance. Make the most out of it. Turn turn to Allah swt an pray.
    Its all a blessing in.disguise.
    Asalaam alaikum.

  6. I was married to my cousin then I got divorced and there were a lot of arguments between families I feel we also acted in a way we shouldn't have done then my marriage was arranged to My other cousin which is also a cousin of my ex husband which I feel now shouldn't have happened my ex husbands family gave a lot of bad dua to my father saying that all his daughters would Never be Happy and would get divorced. My second marriage also ended in divorce then I got married again for the third time which also ended in divorce my sister got married she ended up divorced now my other sister who got married is also having a lot of problems and looks like its very close to divorce. Please please please help my parents are suffering we are all so worried about what is happening my father is very stubborn and won't agree this is a bad dua


    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  8. Assalam alaikum.. Is there any dua or Namaz to getting rid of baddua.. Coz all of my life time my duas has not been accepted even though I prayed Tahajjud for it.. I'm sincere towards my work and daily routine work and for which Allah knows better.. Even after that my own parents and relatives regularly give baddua.. I try to lead simple life even then no 1 likes it.. I regularly pray to Allah but my prayers are unanswered.. Can anyone help me out... Jazaak Allah..

    • sabha, there is no such thing as "bad dua". If you pray and make dua', Allah will give you only what is good, even if it's not exactly what you asked for. If someone else prays for bad to happen to you, Allah will not answer that prayer, because Allah only grants good.

      Your prayers are always answered, but sometimes in ways that you do not see. The only time Allah might not answer your dua' is when you are committing major sins.

      The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Verily Allah, the Exalted, is pure and accepts only that which is pure. Allah has commanded the believers to do that which He has commanded the Messengers. The Exalted has said, ‘O Messengers! Eat of the good things and do right.’ And the Exalted also said, ‘O believers! Eat of the good things that we have provided for you.’” Then he [the Prophet peace be upon him] mentioned a man who after a long journey is disheveled and dust coloured. “[The man] stretches his hands out toward the sky and says, ‘O Lord, O Lord,’ while his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, his clothing unlawful and his nourishment is unlawful. How is he to be answered [in such a state]?” (Recorded in Sahih Muslim)

      Wael Editor

  9. U should have asked for core n valuable questions which may be helpful for here not again making the same thing wht had allah dislike.
    Don't forget baddua is not great as DUA. !
    tell her to go and ask sorry from her parents about her deeds n wil not be done again. Inshallah allah is most forgive full n mercy full 🙂
    Will be everything all right n she wil be on right n halal path.
    And should never contact him.
    It's none of her business to praise him for islam. When he has reverted to islam he would hav know the TRUE message of its n wil never re converted again irrespective of marrying her or not and even he looks for other Muslim girl not an non Muslim. This also a point of concerned tht he may cheat her after marriage whn he can do this why not after marriage?
    It may be allah mercy tht he has saved u by parting u both.
    Just have faith in ALLAH.
    As u should be thankfull to him in any time n in any circumstances. This is what ur IMAN.!
    and about doing haram deeds say her
    Our ALLAH is the Al mighty the lord of all heaven n hell n the supreme n greatest forgiver...
    Do SACCHI TAUBA. if u or any one hav sins greater than mountains n big as sky don't forget allah mercy is greatest thn this.
    Hope allah give u his blessings n hidayat.
    And u and me be dutiful to him.

  10. I have question that agar kio galti sae kisay ko baddua dae or us ke kio buri intention na ho or wo gusay mae ho tou kia baddua lag jaye gaeee

    • I personally feel that one should try n control oneself from all kinds of bud duas as u know there is a specific time called as qaboliyat ka waqt....and duas asked during that specific time do get speak and ask for all goodness for your ownself and all others always.

  11. ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAH WA BARAKAATUHU meney thodi galti ki thi jiski Walsh sey meri maa mey gussey mey baddua di hai aur Aur aisi baddua key mera aaqhirath barbaad hojaye aisi baddua Dee thi mainey sachi touba ki hai ammi sey muaafi bhi mangi unhoney baddua waapas lee aur DUA kiya mujhey darr lagraha hai plz meri help keejiye bataaiyega key kuch bhi nahi hoga na bura merey saath plz mai ro ro kar thakgaihon

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