Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I make Dua to be his first wife?


I am a muslim,  I was in a relationship with a man, my parents and his parents approved. They approved us to get married.We are living in different countries. We had misunderstanding with him and he got another girl and already paid her bride price, without telling my parents that he will not marry me.

I am in a very desesperate condition.  Is it permissible for me to ask Allah to make me his first wife?  I don't want to make Du'a to break his relation with the other girl as I know Allah will not accept it. I love him so much and I want to be his first wife even if he will marry another girl after me.

Can I make Du'a for Allah to make me his first wife?

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3 Responses »

  1. Assalamu alaykum Sister,

    As far as making du'aa is concerned best would be to ask Allah " to give you the good of this dunya and the good of aakhirah and guard you from the punishment of the Fire".

    Love is a thing which lot of Muslims are falling in to. It is a thing displeasing to Allah and we have many evil consequences of obeying our desires which we call "love" and one of them is what happened here in your case.

    Love before marriage is not good, it is evil, Shaytaan stirs up desires in us, it is not right. Love can only be after marriage, which is the starting point of love.

    Pray to Allah for your good and make you the wife of the person who would be good for your dunya and good for your aakhirah and would keep you happy.

    Insha Allah, Allah will send one your way.

    Keep praying to Allah, read Qur'an a lot, pray Tahajjud, make Allah your Goal, forget about the past. Love for us Muslims is after marriage.

    Forget the one who forgot you. If it is Allah's will to marry you to Him, Allah will marry you.

    Do you pray to Allah to give you chicken in food today? meat tommorow? no. You eat whatever Allah brings in your dish. He gives you choice to choose foods from the market, he gives you money to buy the food you like, then you cook it according to your taste.

    Same is about marriage as well. Why make a big issue of it? At it's proper time Insha Allah, Allah will give you options of guys to choose from, you may choose the guy you like from the proposals that come your way and marry that person and then live your life being companions of each other.

    Take these matters lightly. What is important is to use this life for the purpose of Allah, for the relligion of Allah, to make ourselves firm in on the Path of Allah, to bring others on the path of Allah, to gaurd ourselves from falling in to sins, these are important matters. If you take care of them and keep your duty to Allah, Insha Allah Allah sees your actions and will provide for you a support, a spouse who will help you strengthen your deen and give you love and happinness.

    Sister, read the Qur'an, know for yourself what kind of life a Muslim should live. Allah has not told us in the Qur'an to fall in love before marriage, rather He has told us to guard ourselves from desires and lusts and keep chaste until we marry.

    And regarding marriage also, Allah says wealth and children are an ornament of this life, the real life is the Hereafter and we should make all efforts to make that life better.

    No one is taking away importance of living this life, but utilize this life in the best way for the one to come.

    May Allah help you, give comfort to your broken heart and guide you.

    I understand your pain and my eyes are wet thinking about this stupid thing in which our youth is falling in to and hurting themselves.

    May Allah ease your way. My du'aas are with you sister. Do well in life, Insha Allah and be a good Muslima.


    * * *

    Therefor give good tidings (O Muhammad) to my bondmen, who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.- Surah 39, Az Zumar, verse 17-18.

  2. ASA sister:
    I dont know much about making Du'a but... why would you want a man like that? If he is already showing you he does not care about you? Why give a man like that something so special like yourself? What kind of man would ask your family to marry you and after they approve go and pay someone else to marry him AND not talk to you family? he is not being a man...

    I understand how difficult this situation is, but time heals all wounds, and inshallah you will find the good man you need.

    My prayers go to you sister,

  3. Dear sister,
    You are so lucky to find out before marriage how sincere he is.
    Do you really want a man who leaves you after an argument?
    What if he does it again when you are married?

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