Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua for getting married after divorced

Dua, supplication

I m a 29 years old divorced muslim woman. My first marriage was  an intercaste marriage, I am searching for proposals for second marriage for the past 2 years, but I am not able to get a suitable marriage, all proposals are getting denied for any reason, so please suggest me a dua or surah which will help me getting married soon.

femina

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79 Responses »

  1. Dear Femina,

    May Allah make this easy for you and grant you with a spouse who will bring you closer to Him(swt).

    Read this dua which you can also find in the Quran, Surah: 25, Ayah: 74:

    رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إمَامًا

    Translation: "O Lord, grant us from our spouses and offspring a joy for our eyes, and make us leaders of the god-fearing."

    Transliteration: "Rabana hablana min azawjina wa dhuriatina kurata ahyun' wa'ja alna lil mutaqeena imama"

    ***
    Also continue making the effort. Your effort does not go to waste. Allah Sees it.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Ameen to your prayer, my beloved Sister.

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • How many times and how many days, shud this dua for marraige be recited? any limited period? any particular time? Marraige is sunnah ans is important. I too desire to get married and please let guide me.

      • Sister Suha there is no such thing as times; I doubt it is something proven from Hadith, Sunnah or Quran. It's just a cultural practice I believe; so please refrain from such things; recite this whenever you can especially in the mid night after Tahajud prayer when there is not much traffic and lines are open lol. I meant that most people don't wake up that time for tahajud and the ones who wake up are Allah's favourite blessed people so he never refuses their duas; may take some time but he definitely listens:)
        If you need a detailed answer then please log in a write as a separate post.

        Wasalam,
        Muhammad1982:)

        IslamicAnswers.com

      • Dear Sister,

        This is very powerful dua, there is no doubt but may be our daily life blocks our dua to accept so

        the only thing is the way of the practice is,
        it should be like way that Prophets of Allah did

        here is one practice that Hazrat Yunus ale islam did when he was in the stomach of fish and he recites

        لَّا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

        recites one tasbeeh after every prayer then recites this tasbeeh then recites

        رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إمَامًا

        the clock should be minimum 40 days for these 2 tasbeeh after every prayer.
        Prayer is must.

        and make all your elders circle active for finding the proposals
        i guarantee you, Allah will surely gives you best of it.

        Be remember one of this brother in your prayer too.

        With Regards and Salam,
        Ahmed

  2. Assalamualaikum

    I have a similar situation but only worse alhamdulilah..

    I got divorced straight after my first marriage. I am 32 now stil dont see anything happening. I have tried many ways, internet, family, etc but nothing seems to be working. I am a bit choosy no doubt but no one seems to understand what sort of guy I want and I think my demands are not that much...may be i need to be more flexible........alhamdulilah I am happy but I still worry for myself.

    Only thing we can do is keep doing dua....there is may be some delay but eventually with Allahs mercy it will happen and if doenst Allah is still with us inshAllah

    I would like to see some duas and suggestions too..sister famina sabr and salat is the key and we lack in these two things.

  3. Salaam

    I too have been divorced within a year of getting married.
    It was the thing I feared most in my life but it happened anyway.I'm also in my early thirties.

    Now I can either get upset and unhappy and depressed or I can trust Allah believe He will look after me and live my life.
    You have to make yourself happy no man can do that for you. I had a terrible marriage and was psychologically broken during it but time heals and you can move on with your life.

    The most important thing to do is pray and Ask Allah. Do Tahajut prayer as it really helps. Also give Sadqa as that will help too.
    A dua that is answered is one that is made for another person ( and Allah rewards you with the same)
    So let's make dua for each other inshallah.

    Masalaam

    • im also divored and have 2 kids as well... looking for a nyc and relaible life partner.. what happend happend.. i belong from Pakistan and my kids live in Dubai with her... im an artist, textile designer. but right now im job less,, looking for a job.....
      i want to start my life again its not ending.

  4. Have u ever thought that its God's will that caused ur divorce in the first place!

    U cannot change things that r already written in ur destiny and no amount of prayer/wishful thinking is going to change the fact.

    I myself married a muslim brother and although we were happy his family were jealous of our lives and made him choose his family and leave me. At first i was angry at his family then realised that actually it was him who was at fault as he did not have the balls to tell his family he was happy with me and it didnt matter if they did not like me - this still makes me laugh as his mum practically begged my parents for my hand in marriage then turns against u once u are married.

    • Connie, Allah dislikes divorce, so why would He cause a couple to divorce? Not everything that happens in our lives is pre-destined. We are creatures of free will. Allah has given us freedom of choice, to make our own decisions in life. We must take responsibility for the choices we make.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Not everything that happens in our lives is pre-destined.

        Didn't Allah create the Pen and then ask it to write it down everything that will happen till the Day of Judgment?

        No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz), before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah. In order that you may not be sad over matters that you fail to get, nor rejoice because of that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters. [57:22-23]

        • The fact that Allah knows everything that will happen, and has written it down, does not mean it is pre-destined. That reflects Allah's knowledge, not His dictates. You can study up on Qadar Insha'Allah, you will learn that there are two types of Qadar, one which is set and beyond our control, and another which is malleable, and only reflects Allah's knowledge. Check the article on our website about Dua and Qadar, under the Dua link at the top.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • No i dont agree with you wael sir, nobody wants divorce whether its a girl or a boy..but circumstances happen which are sometimes not in our hand. I think divorce, children, marriage all these three things are in the hand of Allah....

    • Kind of similar thing happened with me. He begged for marriage with me and often tried to hide the fact that his mother was against it. I asked him several times before marriage if his mother was happy about it & he lied. She wanted him to marry a girl of her choice but instead he became too stubborn to marry me. She was afraid that if she force him too much, she would rather lose him that time But later on after marriage his mother played her cards and separated us so much so that we both hate each other to the core and guess what? In this 1 year duration, i got pregnant and have a child too with uncertain future. We are on a verge of divorce and I can never forgive him and his mother for ruining me and my childs life.
      I did all that I can as a wife but nothing was more effective to him than his mothers words, i would say 70% its his mothers fault & 30% is his own. He wasnt a kid to be so gullible and fall for whatever his mother says to him, if this was the case then he should have accepted her sayings before marriage & would have spared me.... Nothing is more painful and heartbreaking to me as much as divorce. I desire a husband so much & I am just 27 with a small child.

      • I totally agree with u as I have been thru the same situation... Even my marriage endee up for the same reasn

        • Assalamwalekum, I can understand the pain.coz i have gone through the same situation with one small kid.. Only the difference is I had arranged marriage. I have not lived my married life

  5. I m 26 old girl,i had a lover and after our engagement my family know that he had a girlfriend,and he also want to break our engagement and it was break up,now he says that he is going to marry her on the date when our marriage fixed,after engagement i consider him as my husband and also loved like that,i dreamed and waited for our marriage now he hates me but i cant,i m not lucky much,i cant forget him,can i get him back ? Is there any dua to get him back?or is there any dua to end my life?

    • Jish

      You have put a very cheap price on your life. Your mother carried you for nine months, made sacrifices for you, watched you grow from a baby, to a toddler, to a young child and into a young adult. They worked hard to earn for you, to feed you, sent you to school and loved you - all for what? For you to determine the value of your life based on a 'cheating man'? Do you think Allah blessed you with life in order for you to pursue a man and to then end it when things didnt go your way? Seriously sis, wake up.

      What do you think, that if you take your life, your ex will cry and feel bad and live in misery for the rest of his life? No. He may be sad for a few very small moments and will then forget about you and move on. But your family will be left to suffer the consequences of your foolish and selfish actions. And have you forgotten theres a life after death? If you commit suicide, you will keep suffering after death but even worse than now. So whats the point of all this?

      Why do you want him back? Why do you want a husband who is lying, cheating and insensitive?

      If you have been cheated on by a man, this is very unfortunate - and he will be answerable to Allah(swt). But you will also be answerable to Allah for having a relationship outside of marriage. This is not permissible in Islam. If you have hit rock bottom, this is because you have transgressed the limits set by Allah and because you have been betrayed, but its time for you to wake up and see the bigger picture. Your life is not a replay of 'Romeo and Juliet'. It is a real life, where both good and bad times come and you learn from mistakes and make improvements for the future.

      If you make a conscious effort to forget him, you will forget him. It will take time, effort and faith. He is not worth running after. You are your own person with your own purpose in life. You have skills that you can use to help those less fortunate than you. People are dying and suffering around the world, due to poverty, famine, war, diseases etc - and you have everything, just a broken heart. Painful as it is - and of course it is painful, I know, but it will heal inshaAllah.

      If you are not close to Allah, this is your time to turn to Him(swt). Ponder over all the Mercies He(swt) has bestowed on you, even though you disobeyed Him(swt). Ask Him(swt) to forgive you and start learning your deen. Start doing your Salaah, it is the communication line between you and your Creator. Start reciting Quran and reading it in your mother tongue too, there is much shifa and wisdom in it. Thank Allah for taking this cheating man out of your life and ask Him(swt) to give you peace and something better than that which has been taken away from you.

      'Verily in the rememberance of Allah, do hearts find rest'.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Masha Allah such a beautiful advice

      • Your comments are absolutely great here I love what u have to say they have really helped me am in a similar situation this certainly is a wake up call the best advice I have ever received thankyou

      • Masha Allah a beautiful way to answer the question not only for her but also for all who are in such like situations.

      • Assalamualikum sister
        I'm 23 year old and I got divorced right after 7 months of marriage life ..that marriage was neither love nor arranged it was just controversial and forced one
        But later we both started liking and started living like husband wife but some small things ruined our marriage life and got divorced
        Now
        I want to re marry but I want some one whome I like
        And I like someone to share my life
        But about him I don't know what can I Dua to get my loved one for re marriage

      • Well said """ i couldn't agree more God bless you !!!

  6. Thanks for ur reply,i didnt mean to commit to suicide i m praying to allah to take me from this world,because i tried lot to live without him but i failed,when i got him as my lover and our parents allowed to marry then i thought he is the gift of allah to forget all my depression and i loved him madly but now i dont knw how to move on,allah give him to me as a gift and now allah take him away from me,can i get him is there any chance for me,if not is there any dua to request allah to take me from this world

    • I am in the exact same state as you sister. It's tough. Very tough

      • Sister Sara could you please private message me please? Wallahi it's very urgent sis. I would appreciate it

        • Normally people only ask if a person has commented. So am I right in assuming you mean me, as its not clear?

          Sara
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • IYes please sister. It's really important

          • OK.
            Important note: Anyone wanting to discuss a private matter, please submit a post, and do not provide identifiable information.
            If it is of a very personal matter then you can request for your post to be made private, which means it can only be seen by editors.
            I forgot about that.
            In future please do follow these rules.
            I pray that Allah swt helps all those who need His help.

            Sara
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Ukti_F

          If you are in the UK, I will advise you strongly to contact the Muslim Youth Helpline. They provide a counselling service with telephone, internet and 1-1 counselling.

          Alternately, do as Sara advised below and submit your question as a post. If we feel it is of an urgent nature, we will post it immediately and will keep it private if you so wish and request.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Sister Jish, you are missing the point and going round in circles.

      Allah did not promise us that our life will always be full of ease, comfort, great health, wealth with no problems. All of us are tested in some way . Rasulullah (saw) had to endure so much pain, agony , war, loss of loved ones , persecution and worse, yet whenever faced with a problem, he realised it was a trial from Allah and let this become a means of becoming a better and stronger individual, who would ultimately only come closer to his Lord as a result. Only little children demand what they want when they want as they do not understand what it means not to have something when they want it. There is a great difference from wanting something and needing something. Sometimes , our wants far exceed our needs and we are fooled by the devil to believe that a certain ‘want’ is a need. And sometimes the devil further deceives us to the extreme level – that of us not being able to live if that thing is not given to us.

      Sister Jish, I’d like you to help me with a problem I am having difficulty with. Since you say you have suffered a great loss , perhaps you will be able to identify with this person and give me some hope as to how I can help her – this lady, her husband went out often to go fend for the family and sometimes came back after a few days or so without really explaining what he was doing. One night he returned and quietly lay down next to her. She was just happy to see him again after a few days. Their baby was sleeping in a crib near her. Suddenly 3 men burst into their bedroom and they started interrogating him. He wouldn ‘t speak so eventually they shot him through his head and his blood splattered all over her. In her shock she started screaming uncontrollably. As they were going out , two of the men stayed back , their leader left , telling them to hurry and do what they wanted with her..So you know what they did to her. They raped her of course. After they left , she was in a daze and in a state of shock. At some stage , she doesn’t know after how long , she heard her neighbours urging her to get up quickly and take her baby with as the people were coming back to burn the house down. In her shocked state , she picked up her baby and ran. She ran with her baby and some people for some hours to escape. Eventually they stopped. She decided that it was time to feed her baby. When she opened up the blanket , she let out a terrible scream. You see, in her terrible state , she didn’t realise that instead of picking up her baby , she had picked up a pillow. So in one day , she lost her husband , her home , her baby and her body which was violated by the men. Please advise me as to how I can help her? We all go through some difficult by in life. She is a brave woman. She does not blame anyone. It is just that I am at a loss as to what I could say to her to help her to mend again. Your help will be appreciated. Just have a think inshallah.

      Was salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah.

      • Faith,

        On many occasions I have been impressed with your advice. This time, however, I think you were a bit harsh.

        No matter what is going on in our lives, it can always, always be worse. However, everything is relative. The story of the lady (presumably hypothetical) that you have put to sister Jish is an example of tragic, extreme and horrendous heartache. And yes, Jish's problem pales in comparison. But sister Jish is experiencing heartache, and it is not up to you or I to belittle the cause.

        My mother is experiencing significant pain at the moment. It is musculoskeletal. When I complain to my friend, she never says "well that's too bad but my mother has terminal cancer". Of course, I recognize that I should be grateful that my mother does not have a more pathological illness, but that doesn't mean I'm not saddened by her current conditon, and nor does it mean that I do not need some emotional support from time to time in dealing with it.

        I often lament that I wish I had gotten married and had children. I have a friend who is in the same situation as me, but, she also is unemployed. Alhamdolillah I have a good job, so I feel for her. I make dua for her. But that doesn't make my grief about my own situation any less intense, and if someone said to me "well look at so-and-so who is worse off than you"... I'm not sure if I would appreciate it nor would it help assuage my feelings.

        We have to be sensitive to one anothers' needs and heartache, and provide the right solution to the person who is suffering -- irrespective of the fact that someone else may be suffering on a far more intense level.

        Maryam
        Islamic Answers.com Editor

        • Sister Maryam, I understand where you're coming from, however I don't believe my response was in any way harsh.

          I realise the need for emotional support, of course we need that, we are human after all, however that doesn't make it wrong to show someone how things are not as bad as they could be. I can't understand why or how you don't find that helpful because the general rule is that people DO feel a lot better and see the bigger picture when they encounter someone who's situation is worse. It naturally makes us greatful, thus reducing much pain...the pain that we e xperience when we are so constrained. in our little box of issues that turns us blind to everything else that actually matters a lot more..as is the case of sister jish here. She was already offered the response of understanding focusing only on that and her emotions etc, by sistersZ, despite the fact of how extremely overboard and irrational her pain has made her (to want to die over a man). However, her response clearly indicated that she wasn't paying heed to the advice because currently she's not in the right frame of mind...she feels like such a mazloom and thinks that she cannot continue with this pain.
          I think after this its time the message given to her be changed as clearly that of just pitying is not helping; I think it was time for her to just "wake up" ...

          Maybe it won't work for you but it's certainly something that helps me alot, as well as numerous people I've come across in my life. It reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for,LIVE for and look forward to Alhamdulillah.

          Anyhow, my intention certainly was not of making the sister feel that her pain does not matter. But it was to make her realise that it doesn't matter nowhere near enough for her to not want to live over. The example was to strengthen her inshallah.

          Was salaam

          • I sort of see Maryam's point. Yes it's true that if I see someone who is, say, severely disabled, or living on the street, I often think, "Alhamdulillah for all my blessings." On the other hand it's also good to have a friend who actually listens to me when I have troubles. If I'm feeling lonely and I tell my friend and he says, "Yeah, that's kind of rough, but hang in there it will get better." - That's comforting. On the other hand, if I told him about my troubles and he always replied with "It could be worse, people are starving in Somalia," I would not find that helpful.

            Although I know there are people who are much worse off, that does not negate my own struggles and difficulties. I think that is Maryam's point.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.,com Editor

          • How the person presents their problem and their attitude makes a difference, no? There is a difference between someone expressing their problems for advise and to hear some comforting words and to be reminded of Allah's infinite wisdom. However, it is another to go to the extremes of wanting to die over over something, that too something hardly worth it, then be given comforting words but still to completely ignore that and focus only on one thing: their desire to end their life. At such a point, what can or would you do? I certainly feel the need to 'wake them up.'
            I am not a person who will automatically respond by reminding someone of how greatful and blessed they are, if they have any complaints...because this has been done to me, so I know what it feels. But I wish I had been offered words the way sisterZ has already responded to her ..I think if I was, then I really would have felt better and seen the bigger picture. But if I was so blinded by my pain that I just didn't wanna listen and focused on one thing- death- then I think the extreme and horrendous scenarios could be of great help in my waking up and coming back to reality n reason process.

          • How the person presents their problem and their attitude makes a difference, no? There is a difference between someone expressing their problems for advise and to hear some comforting words and to be reminded of Allah's infinite wisdom. However, it is another to go to the extremes of wanting to die over over something, that too something hardly worth it, then be given comforting words but still to completely ignore that and focus only on one thing: their desire to end their life. At such a point, what can or would you do? I certainly feel the need to 'wake them up.'
            I am not a person who will automatically respond by reminding someone of how greatful and blessed they are, if they have any complaints...because this has been done to me, so I know what it feels. But I wish I had been offered words the way sisterZ has already responded to her ..I think if I was, then I really would have felt better and seen the bigger picture. But if I was so blinded by my pain that I just didn't wanna listen and focused on one thing- death- then I think the extreme and horrendous scenarios could be of great help in my waking up and coming back to reality n reason process. I was once extremely depressed and a friend told me to thank God for my two arms and feet. Didn't help me at all. But another time I was low I came across the case of some of our Palestinian brothers and sisters..and it helped me. Immensely. If you focus on my reply, its like the second example I gave of myself not first- I didn't say "you got air to breath n feet to walk so be happy"...but it was to remind her of how life is alot harder for others experiencing a lot more heartache..that too was supposed to be concluded by herself having read such a story. I think its wrong to compare that to someone telling someone "you're better than so and so so be grateful." I purposely chose not to advise her that way.

            Was salaam

        • Very well said.

  7. Salaam,
    Surfing internet, I came across this great website, but reading these sisters situation makes my heart bleed! Why no man has the courage to answer the plea of these heart broken sisters. Any sisters who like to marry me?
    Salaam

    • Sisters are not here asking for someone they don't know to volunteer as a husband, lol. They are here asking for advice on how to search, and how to pray.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. I feel for all you sisters I'm 29 with two children and going threw divorce inshallah things will look up turn to Allah xx

  9. Assalam alaikum,

    I was searching on the internet for duas when I came across this page to see the loss, misery, pain of my sisters but at the same time immense faith and love for Allah. I just could not skip the page without writing my own experience on marriage.

    I am a 29 year old woman who got divorced after 4 months of marriage. Its been 5 months now that I am living with my own family. I had been, by the grace of Allah very hard working and committed in work and relationships and have done very good in my career and life until one day I got married to a stranger. The next day after marriage it was like I just woke up from a beautiful dream to a scary nightmare. 5 months of abuse, torture, beatings and disrespect and loss of finances of my family and mine, I took this bold step to leave my husband. At first I thought how am I going to survive, maybe I will never be married again, there will be a vaccum in my life of love, respect and togetherness. So many random thoughts kept coming to my mind. What would I do.

    I prayed to Allah day and night for answers... And one day I got the answer that my ex husband and I were never meant to be together. We were never a match for each other- personally, professionally and emotionally. I was a loving person always- love for people, love for Allah and respect for everyone, exactly opposite to my husband.

    5 months down the line, I am happy with my family. Not cribbling or complaining about anything. Infact I am very happy that today there is no one to abuse me, no one to hurt me, torture me. Future with him was never to be. And you know what, Allah destined this. This was meant to be. I was never meant to be with him. I am not looking for a second marriage now. Infact I am planning for higher studies to secure my future. My family has supported me- emotionally, financially. Allah did this all, my sisters!!

    Allah puts us in trouble, then tests us and then saves us. My faith and love for Allah grew after all this happened. I am a much stronger woman. I am not dependent on someone to give me love- because I give love to others- people who deserve it- our family, the poor, our loved ones.

    JUST BELIEVE IN ALLAH ALWAYS- that's my message to all my brothers and sisters. HE IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

    Thank you for reading my post. May Allah guide us all.

    Allah Hafiz.

    Aisha

    • Salaams Aisha.
      I would love if you can contact me and advise me as I reallly need the support. Maybe wael could assist in this.

    • Salama Aleikum sister Aisha,

      Your story sounds much like mine. I was 29 years old and divorced after 9 months of marriage, having been together for only 4 months. I too Allhamdulillah today am thankful to Allah swt for Saving me from a miserable future with a miserable man and the risk of having a broken family with children involved. Allhamdulillah ya Rabb for protecting me from that.

      It's been almost one year since I last saw my ex. In that year I suffered, I was broken and I had to pick myself back up. There was not one single second of concern for me from his side, nor did he spend a minute thinking about how he affected me. I could see from his actions that I was not someone he cared for in the least. Now a man who tells you he loves & cares for you but treats you like dirt- what type of man is that? Does he care for anyone but himself? How can I then want a man like that in my life? How on earth is that acceptable? I grew up loved and cared for Allhamdulillah. Why would I ruin myself with someone who turned out to be toxic?

      With the help of Allah swt, my family and friends I slowly worked through each thought, emotion and doubt I had. I slept through the winter, wrote a diary, I read about other people's experience on forums, I continued to go to work, I exercised and I got involved in charity. I look back and realise that in just one year I achieved Allhamdulillah much and had I still been with him I would have been so limited in life. I was very sad, anxious and felt suffocated with him around. He was a burden but I didn't realise it at the time. And time after time even after the divorce Allah swt Has Shown me that that boy was not right for me. Time after time I have seen his behaviour towards me and my family and noticed the patterns. And I realised that it was not normal behaviour nor should I ever want to know a person like that again.

      I also realised that I chose the wrong person. And I could not understand why. I look back now and note that at the time my eeman was weak. I was drawn to someone who I couldn't identify with. In part I think I made many mistakes in not listening to my family when they had doubts. I also did not listen to my instinct but somehow convinced myself it would work. All of this was from my own self and I've had to look back and understand why I felt like this. Personal reflection is crucial for when things don't turn out the way we hoped. It's never one persons fault 100%. My fault was in choosing that man and allowing myself to be manipulated. I've learnt from my weaknesses and I now know how to not repeat them again.

      Divorce is hard, especially when there are children involved. But I've seen and heard of many sisters who moved on with their lives and found happiness through the deen, re-marriage, careers, family, hobbies, travel, friends. There is so much to be grateful for Allhamdulillah. Changing your scenery and house around helps too. Letting something new into your life and feeling that you can make good choices for yourself will lift your spirits. Look at your skills and be thankful to Allah swt and use them to become closer to Him. Account for your time. Don't let it just pass you by while your idly longing for a broken past relationship or dreaming about one that is yet to exist. Just enjoy today and make good plans inshAllah.

      A few days ago a friend of mines sister passed away. She lives in a country which has one of the best healthcare systems in the world. She walked in to hospital just a few weeks back feeling unwell having been well all her life. She was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer having never smoked. This is an aggressive type of tumour and she was told she has weeks to live but died in hospital within a few days. She was 31 years old. She left behind 4 young children and a husband. Please make dua that Allah swt makes her grave wide and spacious with Noor and that she attains jannatul firdaws.

      The point is we don't know when we will leave this world. But whilst we are here we have to remind ourselves and others to look at the bigger picture and not get stuck but to strive to be better Muslims.

      What I also think is important is for us to love and care for our family and friends. Remain to be an open person. Don't shut the world down and make it about one bad experience. Whilst you're focusing on this one person life is moving on, happiness and opportunities are escaping you and you gain nothing. Instead focus on the positives, realise you'll have some bad days and that they are there to make us grow. When you do look around and grab hold of something positive pray that Allah swt increases that for you and opens up new avenues for you.

      Today the sun is shining outside and it's perfect. Allhamdulillah I will enjoy how it illuminates my room and makes me feel more energetic.

      • Awesome story.... Believe it or not IV had the same story... I'm glad u have recovered
        I only wish I could overcome my shame. I feel ashamed that my marriage failed. I feel ashamed that I miss a person who was such a hypocrite.... But ur story gives me hope... Thank U for sharing

  10. Dear sisters
    I too have been unsuccessful in remarrying for many years now and mashAllah went for hajj just a few months ago. While I was preparing myself last year for this journey of a lifetime, I read many books/websites/talked to many friends for advice and experiences as I wanted to be very prepared for this invitation by Allah. The one advice I read somewhere just clicked with my heart so much, that I have shared with many people at hajj (specially women worried about their kids' marriages) and it gave me so much peace and I will share it with you: "In not giving, Allah is still giving you." Think deep and ponder on this simple sentence! Allah loves us more than our mothers who gave birth to us - why would he put us in pain? I also read that if we were given the pen to write our life, given our circumstances, we would write almost a similar life that Allah has written for us.

    My sisters, this marriage/remarriage issue is SO tiny compared to the beautiful life we have given - reading stories of bad marriages, be thankful that you are not in such a marriage. Thank Allah for saving you from a potentially bad husband and disobedient kids. Have sabr and Allah will give you more in the ever lasting life - as my mom told me when I was going for hajj "just throw yourself in Allah's hands and give up all your cares to Him and Him only and He will take care of you as you never imagined - let go"

    Alhumdolillah - I am at peace now, that this is exactly how my Lord wants me to be at this particular moment! And He knows when and how to fulfill my needs at the time best suited for me.

    • Assalam alaikum.

      Ms. Serendipity, I totally agree with you. We should have faith in Allah in whatever He has given. He has given us much beyond what we can sense. He is All Knowing and in every moment of life, there is a lot of treasure hidden for us.
      This life is soo beautiful and we can give all our time devoting ourselves for the betterment of us, our people, our community, our society. We have to start with ourselves. There is so much to do in life.... Why waste it complaining about what we dont have.

      Aisha

  11. Salaam People,

    I don't normally share my views via online forums but I felt compelled to write in on this thread. I too, like the other sisters on this thread, am 29 and now divorced (Islamically - the legal divorce is still a traumatically long process.....) after a short marriage. Sister Aisha's words struck a chord with me.

    For me divorce was the one thing I seriously feared, in fact I don't think I feared anything else. However, now i realise my fear and focus were entirely misplaced. I spent 17 months being horribly abused in my marriage and experienced such horrific things that I can't even talk about them as I am too traumatised by it all.

    However as I sit here and reflect, I realise my marriage was not good for my iman. I was discouraged from praying salat or engaging in religious activities and was married to someone who thought it was completely acceptable to come home drunk after sleeping with other women(!) I realise now the thing I should have feared was not the breakdown of my marriage or the inevitable loneliness but rather the weakening of my iman and the risk of ending up with a poor outcome in the afterlife!

    But I will be honest with you all. Following a divorce and the accompanied soul destroying character defamation by the community, there are days when I feel hurt and anger. There are days when I question why me? There are days when I wonder what the value of staying on the straight and narrow is when others seem to be able to do whatever and have the life that I crave for me (that of a wife and mother). Recently I read a book that made me question my current thought process...I will quote a line from it that hopefully you will take time to reflect on

    "Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not - and was never meant to be (jannah) - will this life finally stop breaking our hearts."

    I have taken time to reflect on that line and realised that my constant desire to be a wife and mother are a case of me seeking attachments with this dunya, rather when my focus should be on a desire to be the best Muslimah and therefore receive the rewards in the afterlife. After all who can hurt you if Allah is with you?

    I will admit this is a difficult journey and one where I have ups and downs but I am sincerely fighting a battle to keep my iman strong. Therefore, I am aiming to focus on being a better Muslim and not focusing on re-marriage because it maybe that Allah swt rewards my patience and worship with something better when I least expect it.

    Sorry for going on for so long but it's a topic close to my heart and I wanted to point out to the original poster that they should perhaps consider refocusing on asking Allah swt to strengthen their iman and maybe then the reward of a pious husband will be granted.....but it might be granted in the next life and not this one - for Allah swt knows best!

  12. I have been looking for a husband for 3 years , I am divorced and have 2 kids, I didn't want divorce in the first place but my ex said he thinks I am a good woman but he never loved me .
    please advise me how to get married soon.
    Thanks
    Nour

    • Nour, I remember that we published a post with some tips on how to find a spouse. Do a search and see if you can find it.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Hii n aslamwalaikum 2avry1 here. Am. A muslim gurl age 28 divocd n av no kids its bin 5years nw am lookin for som1 hu can desevr 2b wid me am so tyd of ma life am always. Dream bout il gt som1 hu wil kum n mk ma life plz hlp me frnds my parents dnt want i 2luk for som1 hu is from pakistan. Hlp me all i wana setl down in ma life

    • stranger, wa alaykum as-salam. This is not a matchmaking service. If you need advice for how to find a husband, we have answered some previous questions on that subject, so please do a search. Also, I don't mean to be critical or unkind, but I suggest that you work on your spelling and writing skills. Someone who can communicate clearly is always more attractive.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. Salaam alaikum sisters,

    I am very saddened by the sorry state we live in, unfortunately marriage is often not valued by one party so I can't help but question why these individuals get married and cause another human being so much pain. I am in my early 30's with 2 kids and have just been through my second divorce it's really hard and I can honestly say second time much worse. Initially I questioned why again??? I feel I am quite grounded islamically but in no way perfect. I've been a subject of abuse both times, at times we are so absorbed by the "ideal family" life we forget that we chase this at any expense rightly or wrongly. I am physically and emotionally exhausted had I invested this much time and energy to remember allah swt (by the way I do pray regularly but that it between me and allah swt) I would never be disappointed. I wish there were website which single mums could use to lift each others spirits that way we would know that we are not alone. May allah make it easy for us all.

  15. I was searching for direction when I came across this thread. Im generally a private person but have felt the need to share. I am now 30 and was islamically divorced at the age of 29. I had a 9 year marriage and no children. During my marriage I often prayed for the blessing of children but it did not happen. My husband used to promise he would never leave me and always gave me so much love and attention. However he didn't get on with my family. I was patient with him despite all the challenges we faced. Our disagreements were generally about him wanting to settle all of his family in the uk, as they were in Pakistan. However I always thought love is strong and will help us get through everything but unfortunately it didn't. He issued me with three divorces in one hour via a letter with only his signature and no witness signatures.
    This upset me so much that I didn't know where to turn. My family is supportive but my heart aches. Every thing I did for the past nine years was for my husband. I often feel lonely despite having my family around. I don't like doing anything as everything reminds me of him. We used to do everything together, cooking, shopping, study, work, praying etc. Now I feel his presence all the time. I don't know how to mend my broken heart. I feel life has betrayed me. I know there must be some good in this but I find it hard to stay strong. He remarried straight after our three months were up. I just found out and my heart aches.....

    • Sorry Shaz,

      I cried after reading your story. You must be hurt and angry. 9 years is a long time and I am sure you are a good human being and will be blessed with lots of happiness in this Life and the HereAfter. Allah give you the strength, my sister, to fight this. Trust Him and He will give you what you truly deserve. I pray for you.

      If my story gives you strength, I would like to share it with you. I have written in this thread earlier, if you scroll upwards on this page. Its going to be one year now after all things happened to me and things have changed a lot. I am a happy, calm and composed person and I strongly believe good things will happen. And I am thankful to Allah that I have a life to live, hands and feet all well positioned and in good condition, air to breathe, a heart that beats- thats prays, that loves and that believes that everything happens for a reason and Allah is there always.. We have much to be thankful for than to cry for the pains inflicted on us by others and by ourselves. Be strong Shaz.

      Take care. Fimanillah.

      Aisha

  16. Asalamalaekum.....
    Iam basheera, I am divorced b4 2 years bcoz he was sadiest.i taken divorced within a month.till now I didnt get any correct marriage proposals.my parents also worried abt it.please tell me some dua it will b helpful 4 my darkness life..please.im 25 yrs old.

  17. Asalam -o- Alaikum Editors,

    I am not able to open my account. My Password is absolutely correct but it is not taking...

    Please help and provide some solution... I want to write a thread....

    • cheerful, make sure you answer the challenge question (the match question) when you log in.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I am also a divorced lady who had a terrible experience of marraige... I am bitten by black magic so dont know whether to blame him or the unknown person who did it.. Please pray for me ..

  18. i am also a divorced women.i am seeking a pious,adorable spouse for me.my age is now 30.i am so fear about that time is going on when i will get really responsible life partner in my life.i am seeking beautiful one foe me since last 2 year but he is unseen to me.which dua is suitable for me.i need spouse within 2 month.

  19. Hi i am loving a married women, in fact she too loves me a lot...

    I am not married yet... But she have kids as well.. but she is not at all happy even a single minute with her present life... i decided to marry her after her proper divorce ... But the one who married now is treating her like a slave without proper medication even ... and he is not giving divorce to her for this she is worried a lot for the same is there any prayer to me to pray for her to get the divorce soon and to make her to marry me soon without any problems and issues...
    please help us...
    for Dua or surah

    • Muthu, you should not have any contact with this woman. She is a married woman. If she's having problems in her marriage that is her issue, not yours. You are not her father or brother. The only thing your presence does is make the situation worse. And it's a great sin to interfere in a marriage.

      If the woman gets divorced and wants to marry you, then marry her. Until then stay away from her.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  20. right

  21. aoa,muthu u r good human being i guess .say to her pray soorat maryam n second i hv not in my mind tell u some time...

  22. Salaams,
    I came across this website in search of advise on how I can move on after a divorce. I am currently married for 7 years with no kids. He has been physically an emotionally abusing me from day 1. We were engaged and eloped and got married as my parent's were hesitant on him been a perfect match, nevertheless I been head over heels in love- eloped.... 7 years later I am in a bad space...had issues falling pregnant the doctor says I would need artificial insemination - he just was never interested in having a child always made some excuse, yet for me that was my one an only desire. I always worried about if I leave this marriage will I ever have children or find a suitable partner as I am now 31- but I am at a stage were I cannot take this abuse and him been a fully fledged MAMAS boy.

    alhamdullilah I work full time and earn a decent salary, moving out and staying on my own can happen. What I am afraid of is change, I am so scared after this marriage I said to myself that I would never want to be married again. Allah swt knows best.

    I have read all stories Aisha- you have really given me so much hope its unbelievable, jazakallah so much. Mehrunissa your quote has made me think alot about what I thought I wanted and now what I want.

    life is so short to be living in something that you so unhappy with. Divorce is such a big step. Inshallah Allah swt make it easy on me, I have hope now.

    If I only have Allah swt in my life that is all I need. Be strong ladies Allah swt has a plan for us.
    wasalaams

  23. Salaam,
    My parents did my Nikah to first cousin last year, I was not happy in first few months but later on i convinced myself, it was written in my fate, so i tried my level best and transformed myself totally according to that man. I was happy that i am such flexible in my personality that i have changed my thoughts according the circumstances. only few months had passed, he started behaving very strangely, when i asked him why you are acting like this, Do you want to continue or not. he did not reply and after a month he messaged me that he needs divorce. I asked him the reasons but he just said we are totally opposite and we should stop here. I asked him thousand times, justify how we are different but he did not reply and is insisting on divorce. I sent him the links that divorcing someone without any reason is very bad. He was seeking a religious wife and the last year i havent performed any such big act that was against islam. now whenever i think about this thing i get very upset, I dont want this breakup, what should i do??

  24. i need an effective dua to get married again

  25. Assalamualikum, i am 25yrs old n divorced couple of months ago, i stay with my brother. Parents are deceased. Please sugest me a dua which can help me in getting married soon.

  26. To all who are wanting to help others get married or want to get married themselves.
    there are 3 matrimonial pages on FB i know of:

    1) Dholki Matrimonials;
    2) Elite Matrimonials;
    3) Asian Matrimonials;

    these are FREE, no charge AT ALL, this is no scam, i am not an ADMIN of this site so i am not advertising these pages here, i am solely wanting to help out with sincerity.

    visit the page and get your mother/sister/female cousin involved, create a profile, contact the admin and get your profile uploaded, insha Allah you will start getting lots of responses.

    Allah knows best, may HE guide us all.

  27. I got married a yr back and now my husband left me I tried my level best to make this relation work .. He nver respected my parents he didn't meet them he never tried to resolve things he left me because sometimes I didn't cook well and I couldn't get pregnant. As now m 35 and according to him I will not concive via I.v. f I have gone through this painful process I prayed hard but nothing happened

    Later I came to know that he also has some issue his family never appreciated me my father in law screamed at me my in laws screamed at my parents and so did my husband I always thought nikkah is the biggest relationship I worked lyk a maid still they never understood they always pressurise me my in laws are greedy so now my husband will keep me for humanity only

    I never asked Allah for such a husband I never thought people can play around in the name of nikkah m really upset I never wanted to b a divorcee but now after what my husband did I ll have to accept this reality sometimes I feel he never loved me .. I have read all the posts I m thankful I don't have kids a man who can't respect my parents and me can't protect his wife is useless they pressurise me so much that I knew a single mistake in work and my husband will leave me

    Suggest me a dua for peace of mind I can't sleep

  28. Assalamu alaikum sir

  29. Salaams,
    Dear Sisters,
    I have read almost all the stories in this forum and I know that words cannot heal the pain that you are feeling, but I also came across a small story on this website .. https://www.muslimmarriageguide.com/finding-allah-divorce/

    https://www.muslimmarriageguide.com/dua-solved-all-my-problems-and-changed-my-life/

    Which helped me strengthen myself and gave me hope for a happier future. Maybe it might help you all too.

    Also a dua that I tend to personally love and recite is the dua recited by Musa (a.s)
    “Rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayhi min khairun faqeer” Surah Al- Qasas Verse 24
    “Oh my lord! Truly Iam in need of whatever good, you bestow upon me”

    I hope this helps atleast one soul out there in Shaa Allah.
    May Allah make our journey in this dunya as peaceful and easy as possible.

    X

    • Assalamwaliakum,
      I feel very sad for all the women who are divorced. I have gone through this pain myself, though time has healed much of the wound I still feel the trauma. May Allah bless us all. I just want to share you my story which might give you some strength and hope. I am 33 years old lady I too khula from my husband 5 years ago.. I had suffered a lot of physical and mental abuse, also my ex husband was psychopath.. He used to fight with me for no reason and then after all the fight and drama he used to change in a minute. I have gone through thing which are very pain and I don't want to talk. Anyways, I pray that Allah bless him so that he does not harm his future wife. By the grace of Allah i started working right after my khula.

      Few tips I want to give you people suffering from break up

      Pray, I know most of us do it :). Become more regular in your salah, read Quran and try to learn with meaning.

      I want to tell all you ladies to be financially strong. Allah test people in different ways.. Try to find a job and start working.

      Focus on yourself, now as you are single, do the things you enjoy, like travelling, exercise, learning new language, reading, Do whatever you like.

      I do this gratitude exercise, I thank Allah for 3 things in my life every day , i try to keep it different each day, Allah has mentioned in Quran. If we r thankful to Allah he will increase our blessings.

      Try to listen to positive speech's, podcast, Islamic videos every day or the time you feel little low.

      These are the few things which helped me overcome the pain. May Allah bless us with good spouse and let's us all try to be a better human everyday.

      Jazak Allah Khair

  30. Jazakkalahu hairen sister. I'm also a divorcee. I always wanted to be with a lovable husband. Unfortunately I found that he doesn't love me. So I decided to let him go. So I got divorced 5 years before. After the divorce I never thought to getting married again. Somehow life consequences teaches me that, I need a soulmate to live. Now I'm praying for getting married to good, lovable, husband.

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