Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua to convert my non-muslim boyfriend to Islam

As-salam-alai-kum,

Secret relationships are a bad idea

Not that I'm in the habit of taking advice from church billboards, but in this case they have a point. Secret relationships are always a mistake.

I am 26yrs old female. I am the eldest daughter of my family,and have 3 sibblings.I am in need of urgent suggestions,. I am in a relation with a non muslim boy since 6 years. I want to marry him. and he loves me from the bottom of his heart.He is the only son, he doesn't follow any religion,or say I have never witnessed him worshipping any idol and he even doesn't want to convert.

I dont know why, but I really love him a lot, but I love my Islam more than anything. He never ask me to convert,and he expects the same. As per our culture and custom, my parents wants me to get marry asap, now,that I love this guy, I am afraid that I cant accept anyone else from heart. I don't know if its right or wrong to expect someone to convert for you,but I want this for my childrens.

I belong to a middle class family and I have seen many ups and downs being the eldest daughter. I have suffered a lot and do have many responsibilities on me since my childhood, I always wanted a good islamic husband who can guide me in both ways which will be helpful for me for this life and heareafter. But, I fell in love with this guy I have seen all those qualities in him except religion.

I dont want to marry any other guy, somehow, I am unable to accept any match, no matter how good it is as I don't want  to ruin anyone else's life. I am not greedy neither I am selfish but I want this guy as my husband. Allah talah has gaven hidayaa to many non-Muslims who have later accepted islam. It is mentioned,there is cure for evrything in Quran. Please help me with any DUA OR SURAH,with which Allah listens to my prayer and give him hidayath to accept Islam. I dont want to go against Allah and marry him,as I don't want my family to suffer.

Please,my dear brother and sister's,kindly help me.I am in a big dilemma .

Thank you

-nehakhan

Advertisements

Tagged as: , , ,

91 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    Please forgive me for being to the point regarding your situation, because I am sure that it feels much more complicated in your experience of it than it truly is. Unfortunately, our human emotions have a knack for making things much more confusing than they truly are in reality, so I am speaking to you as one without the same emotional involvements that you are feeling for this person.

    Sister, I am coming to you as a lover of truth, a lover of Allah and His guidance, as you have claimed as well. And the unfortunate truth is, you are ALREADY being disobedient to Allah by having involved yourself with this person to the point that you have the feelings of love for him that you are describing. While it is true that Allah can and has shown mercy to non-believers, and guided them to the truth in certain cases, it doesn't negate the fact that it is haraam for a Muslim lady such as yourself to marry a non Muslim. If you were to marry him, you actually would not be married in the eyes of Allah at all...rather you would be in continual fornication and sin as long as you remained in such a relationship.

    Because of this you should cease contact with this person right away, and repent for the choices you have made so far. You can pray for him to become guided, to become Muslim, as often as you like. However, there is no guarantee- no "special" du'a"- that anyone can make which will make him convert. If Allah wills for him to become Muslim, it will happen whether the whole world prays for this person or no one prays for him. If Allah wills that he stay on the path he's been on, then that is where he will remain even if you devoted your life to praying for him. You won't know what the outcome of Allah's plans for him will be, and with such being the case, you should definitely not continue to plan YOUR future around those possibilties as you have already begun to do.

    Make a conscious decision to let go of the feelings you have been fostering with this person, and the dreams you started to build in your mind about your futures together. Make the effort to think about what kind of "good islamic husband who can guide you in ways which will be helpful for you in this life and hereafter" is best for you. You have such a beautiful future ahead, one decreed for you by Allah Himself! Embrace the truth in this, embrace the wisdom that Allah has regarding your future spouse, and realize that what you are hanging onto with the "love" you think you have with this person pales in comparison to the true reality that awaits you.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I am a teenage girl. I am in relation ship with a non Muslim. I love him a lot and he too loves me lot. Even though he is born in a non Muslim family he has accepted Allah as his God and he loves Allah. He had done sunnah also. Before marriage he had said that he will convert into Muslim. But my question is whether he have to change his name or not. He doesn't want to change his name from the bottom of his heart. And we love each other more than that we love islam. I want to marry him for the sake of Allah... Please help me.... Assalamu alaikum.

      • maryam, As-salamu alaykum,

        1. There is no such thing as a relationship before marriage in Islam. It is a sin.
        2. A Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man under any circumstances.
        3. If this man converts to Islam sincerely then you can marry him. Otherwise you should have nothing to do with him.
        4. Changing his name is the least of all these concerns. It is not important. You are committing a major sin and focusing on a small thing that has little relevance.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Thats cute! As long as his name doesnt have a meaning that is haram then dont worry. Good luck!

      • If the name's meaning is not against sharia, the name should not ascribe partners with Allah like many westerners have nane like christopher and many non christian have name vishu bhagat or vishu yash, buddhi, guru poojari. So he have to change the name but if he had like david, john, drake, samir, roshan, aman so he not have to change it.

        Islam came to the Arabs and the non-Arabs, and it is not essential for a new Muslim to take an Arabic name, rather what is required is that he should not have a name that is ugly or carries a meaning that goes against Islam. Many Persians and Roman Byzantines embraced Islam and kept their names, and did not change them. Indeed many of the Prophets had names that were not Arabic because they were not Arabs.

        The Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Does a person who becomes Muslim have to change his name like George or Joseph etc?

        He replied:

        He does not have to change his name unless it is a name that reflects servitude to someone or something other than Allaah, but it is good to change his name to something better. So if he changes his name from a foreign name to an Islamic name, that is good, but as to whether it is obligatory, no it is not.

        But if his name was ‘Abd al-Maseeh [= “slave of the Messiah”, a name common among Arab Christians; a similar name in English cultures would be “Christopher” -- Translator] or something of that nature, then he should change it, but if the name does not imply servitude to anything or anyone other than Allaah, such as George and Paul, etc., then he does not have to change it, because these names are shared by Christians and others. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

  2. 'LA ILAHA ILLALLAH'
    'there is no ILAHA except ALLAH'. If you choose to marry a non-muslim man then you are making your choice as 'ILAH' over Allah. Because Allah doesn't want you to do so.

    And if you marry him that will be haram marriage in Allah's sight and according to this your next 20-50years life will be filled with 'ZINA'. And ALLAH will never forgive you.

    • Mamun, not to detract from the problem at hand, you are incorrect - Allah forgives all sins except shirk.

      • Salams sister Precious Star,
        So, it means as far as we don't commit shirk, we can do whatever we want thinking that Allah (swt) will forgive us? I am sorry but this deosn't hold much ground. In inter-faith marriages there is always a possibility of shirk. I am sure any Muslim whether male or female will want to raise their children as Muslim right! What if a child says that he doesn't want to follow Islam, they want to follow other religion (which ever Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism)? Inter-faith marriages are not for today (for both Muslim men and women). Why?

        1- They are people of book but which book? How many versions of Bible or Turah are their?
        2- This goes specially for Muslim men (though their are Muslim women as well but mostly Muslim men are involved in inter-faith marriages because it says in Quran) ; what are the venues where they meet these non-Muslim (Ahl-kitaab women) and how does these sort of relationships start? I hope you understand sister as I don't want to go into details here.

        Wasalam,
        Muhammad1982.

        Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

        • Salaams,

          I would like to respectfully point out that shirk was only mentioned in this thread as the one thing clearly identified that is never forgiven by Allah. While muslimahs are forbidden from interfaith marriages, that in itself is not unforgivable. I agree with you that it is likely forbidden in Islam to prevent the likelihood of shirk.

          However I would be cautious about making haraam what is halal regarding the permission given to Muslim men to marry ahl al Kitab. If they are able or willing to have such a union, and Allah has allowed it, then we should not look for reasons to demean something that has the potential for barakah. In fact, halal interfaith marriages have increaslingly been a means that Allah wills some women (such as myself, even) to come into the full Truth and find clear guidance!

          -Amy
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • What if the woman the man who marries believes that Jesus is God or God's son, is that considered shirk? If a man marrys her, is the marriage nullified/invalid according to Islam?

            "Halal interfaith marriages have increaslingly been a means that Allah wills some women (such as myself, even) to come into the full Truth and find clear guidance!"

            If that is the case then why can't Muslim women get married to a non muslim man for them to come into the Truth and get guidance? This is a very complicated and sensitive issue. We have to know how a woman is qualified to be the people of the book. May Allah forgive me for any mistakes, I do not wish to make what is unlawful lawful & make what is lawful unlawful. I just want to know if believing that Jesus is divine in any way makes someone forbidden to marry because it is shirk regardless of whether they are male or female & we as Muslims can not marry someone who puts other gods besides God. Are the people of the book Jews and Christians those who believe in the Oneness of God? Can Trinitarian Christians be considered people of the book also?

            @ Amy: I am happy that you were guided. May you be blessed and live a life full of Iman, good health and many good things. Ameen.

          • Wasalam Sister Amy,

            I didn't say it is haram or not allowed any more but what I did want to convey was that the channel we use to get married with Ahl-e-kitab (women). For instance dating/boyfriend, girlfriend stuff (I am sure it's haram in Christianity, Judaism as well as it is haram in Islam) which leads to marriage (which is halal). I am sorry but I don't think it is ok at least with me. Question is not about whether she becomes Muslim or remains Christian but what about the chastity (sorry I am not generalising or judging when I say this). Isn't it a condition for the Ahl-e-Kitab women to be chaste, practising, do not consume alcohol or eat pork. Also, a Muslim may have good intentions to marry that woman but knowing that dating/pre-marital sex is haram and then saying oh; I want to marry her (which is allowed in Islam as it says in Quran).
            By saying all this, I don't mean to hurt anyone, neither am I judging people Muslims/non-Muslims but why we try to choose and pick what we want to follow. If I want to marry an Ahl-e-kitabiya then I should start dating (haram), clubbing, drinking, pre-marital sex etc etc and one day marry her (whether she converts or not) all in the name of getting to know her? How practical is that if I walk up to a girl and propose her the marriage? She is going to say; I hardly know you; let's get to know each other and there you go:). Patterns are different sister; getting to know a Muslim girl is within the boundaries of religion is different; where both meet in the company of mahrams and then decide whether they are suitable or not:). However, it isn't the case with the non-Muslim/ahl-e-kitab (Christian/Jews). This whole let's get to know each other things leads to so much haram that even if she marries you; you will pay the price of all the haram activities on the day of judgement.

            Wasalam,
            Muhammad1982.

            Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

        • it means as far as we don't commit shirk, we can do whatever we want thinking that Allah (swt) will forgive us?

          No Muhammad1982, that is NOT what I said and I resent the simplified implication. People on this website have a tendency to "reading in" to comments what is not there.

          My comment about Allah's forgiveness of all things had nothing to do with the issue at hand, namely interfaith marriage, and I said as much in my response to Mamun. I was simply correcting what I believe was his error that Allah will not forgive zina or any other sin. My comment had nothign to do with whether interfaith marriage is correct or incorrect.

          My comment stands. Allah will forgive all sins, except Shirk. As to whether He will forgive zina, non-muslim marriage, adultery, failure to give to charity, etc, is within Allah's domain of knowledge and only He knows what the ultimate decision will be on the day of Judgement.

          • Thanks sister Precious Star,
            Now it's more clear because your first statement carries two meanings (as I see it). For mamun to; it was a correction of what he said, which is right but if original poster reads it, she may think it's OK to marry a non-Muslim man. (It's neither allowed nor prohibited) Allah knows best.
            May Allah (swt) have his mercy upon us and help us solve our problems in Ummah specially related to matters such as marriage and general religious education of our children especially when we are living in non-Musliim countries where we face numrous problems. (Amin)

          • as salaamu alaykum Precious Star,

            In the following hadiyth the Messenger of Allaah rather confirms your statement:
            "Abu Dharr said: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Jibreel appeared to me at the side of the harrah and said: ‘Give your ummah the glad tidings that whoever dies, not associating anything with Allah will enter Paradise.’ I said: ‘O Jibreel, even if he steals and even if commits zina?’ He said: ‘Yes.’ I said: ‘Even if he steals and even if he commits zina?’ He said: ‘Yes.’ I said: ‘Even if he steals and even if he commits zina?’ He said: ‘Yes, and even if he drinks alcohol."
            This of course should not be taken as a license to commit all these grave sins, as Avoiding them may be the key that opens the gate to Jannah, and Allaah SWT knows best.

          • Precious star from the limited knowledge i have about islam i think you are right
            May Allah reward you abundantly
            I think it is very wrong to say "Allah will not forgive someone"He is the most merciful Lord and grants forgiveness to whom hw wills

      • I think what Mamun is trying to say is that let's say you marry this person who is an athiest and you live happily with him/her for the next 20-50 years, then you die. Will this sin be forgiven because in order for your sin to be forgiven you have to repent. In order to repent you have to think you have done something wrong and feel guilt. If you have lived with someone for that long without thinking you are doing anything wrong then you will not repent. Therefore the sin will not be forgiven.

        It is true that Allah does forgive all sins but shirk (even shirk is forgiven if you sincerely repent, say the shahadah again and continue being a Muslim, stay away from what you have previously done, etc.) once you die the sin of shirk will not be forgiven. Certain trials in this life, during the grave, and on Judgment Day may have some of your sins forgiven (except shirk) but you can not count on that for all the sins you have committed. Remember, there are also minor sins that we do every day that will add up also. If you have committed the sin of Zina, which is one of the top major sins, every single day for 20+ years you are building up MAJOR sins that you will have to be punished for. That is if zina is the ONLY sin you have done, but we know that we as human beings sin all the time. You may not even remember the sins you have done a year ago. So we as muslims have to repent for all of our sins because we do not know which sin will be the one to drag us to Hell. Will some Muslims go to Hell? Yes because we have to get purified from our sins in order to get into Paradise. Does that mean that Hell will be less intense for us Muslims? No.

        “Of the inmates of the Fire, the one with the easiest punishment will be Abu Taalib; he will be wearing a pair of shoes which will cause his brain to boil.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

        If Abu Taalib's punishment is that, imagine how our punishment would be. Astaghfirullah may Allah protect us all from the punishments in Hell.

        My dear brothers and sisters I am telling you to please stay away from this path. We know we will die one day & the love you have for him/her will not be forever. In Judgment Day when all your connections with eachother are broken you will look back and wonder why you did what you did. It is like even with me, when I look back into my past teenage years I wonder why I did those horrible things I did (skip class, hang out with the wrong crew, etc) and I regret it because if I had not done all of those I would have went to a better college and had a better future, only Allah knows. Try to connect yourself to your religion by taking examples of your own life and putting it together, this works for me in getting out of my own haraam relationship & I hope it will help anyone who needs help also.

        • "If you have lived with someone for that long without thinking you are doing anything wrong then you will not repent. Therefore the sin will not be forgiven."

          - That's not for us to say. Forgiveness is Allah's domain, and He gives it to whom He wills. If someone dies without repenting for his sin, whether it is zinaa, theft, murder, or whatever (anything except shirk), Allah may forgive him, or may not. It is up to Allah in His wisdom.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • as salaamu alaykum Mamun,

      One must Never Ever, or under Any circumstances say : "ALLAH will never forgive you". It's an Extremely Grave incursion on the rights of Allaah SWT!
      There were two brothers, one was a devoted believer in Allaah SWT, and the other was a Habitual sinner. The believing man would beg his brother to turn to Allaah SWT and to turn away from sin and to repent to The Most Merciful. His brother would just laugh and brush off his admonitions and carry on with his sinful life. One day the believer lost patience and, in exasperation declared what you just said. As a result the Sinner was admitted into Jannah, whereas his brother was sent to Jahannam (for a finite period inshaa' Allaah)!

  3. Salaams,

    Strawberryfields I think your questions are relevant, as far as having a better understanding of what type of beliefs would qualify someone to be ahl al Kitab bs being an unbeliever completely. That's a scholarly issue, along with explanations as to why men are permitted to something women are not. I don't feel competent enough to speculate on that myself here, I can say with certainty, however, that yes- there are several kinds of beliefs about the divinity (or not) and the trinity in Christianity. There are Christians who neither believe Jesus is God incarnate nor a physically "begotten" offspring. As far as Jews, I am of the understanding that they do not believe in anything but a monotheistic deity, and they surely do bot believe Jesus was divine. They tend to bump up against Islamic beliefs by NOT believing that Jesus or Muhammad were prophets of God. So I guess that would be more an issue of disbelief in one of the seven pillars more than actual shirk. In any case, this is definitely an issue I hope we can all research more and take the benefit of that learning from each other!

    -amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Yes this was very confusing for me, but now I know that this is irrelevant. I guess we are not to judge who is considered people of the book and who is not. It has bothered me for a long while but Allah knows best and it is best to follow what He has given us & not try to over think things, which is what did. I clearly need to take it easy and not over analyze everything lol. Thank you for clarifying these things for me, may Allah bless you with even more knowledge to help us all 🙂

    • The Jews and Christians are Ahl al-Kitab. Period. It doesn't matter what denomination they belong to, or what their specific beliefs are regarding Isa (as). The Christians at the time of the revelation of Qur'an already believed in the divinity of Jesus, and in the Trinity, and already had many versions of the Bible. We know this because all these things are condemned in the Quran. Yes, such beliefs are shirk. And yet Allah made an exception for them as Ahl-al-Kitab, and allowed Muslim men to marry their women.

      Regarding the issue of forgiveness and shirk, it is simple. If one dies in a state of shirk, Allah has said that He will not forgive that. If one dies with other, lesser sins, Allah may forgive or punish, as He chooses. Allah is Al-Ghafoor (The Forgiving), however, we should never take His forgiveness for granted. We should strive to avoid sins, and should repent sincerely to Allah while we are living.

      ***

      Back to sister nehakhan's question, there is no marriage to a non-Muslim man. You must put it to him plainly. If he converts to Islam, then he can approach your family and ask for your hand in marriage. If he refuses, then you must end all contact with him, as it is a dead end. It is going nowhere. It may be painful, but in time the pain will lessen and you will be able to open your heart to marriage with a Muslim.

      Our sisters can avoid these situations by not getting into relationships with non-Muslims in the first place.

      I've been single for three years. I see non-Muslim women daily in the course of my work and daily affairs. Do you think I never find them attractive or interesting? Of course I sometimes do, and it would be easy to approach one of them, but I do not, because I am Muslim, and I know that a relationship with a non-Muslim is not what I want. I trust in Allah to bring me a good Muslim woman who will be the joy of my heart. That's the discipline and tawakkul that you have to have, otherwise you will be lost and will end up in these kinds of heartbreaking situations.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I'm not trying to detract from what you are saying, but, you've only been single for 3 years. When you've been single for 20 years, your entire adult life, its a little different, because at that point you know that a muslim man isn't going to just walk into your life from out of nowhere. I'm not trying to re-open the "debate" (knowing that there isn't a real debate), but I'm just wondering if there are circumstances where Allah SWT will be merciful. I know there are muslims out there who think so.

        • It would be very, very difficult to remain unmarried for most or all of my life. I admit that. It would be terrible. But I will remain single for the rest of my life before I marry someone who is prohibited to me, or who will take me away from my deen. One quarter of the world's population is Muslim, projected to be one third soon. I would have no excuse for saying that I could only find a non-Muslim.

          If there were circumstances when it was allowed to go outside the bounds, then Allah or His Messenger would have made those circumstances permissible. But Allah did not do so. Violating Allah's commands and then hoping for His mercy as one continues to commit sins, is playing a dangerous game.

          Fortunately I don't believe that it's necessary to remain single forever, or to go outside the bounds. Muslims are everywhere. I've had opportunities already in the last three years for marriage, but I am waiting for the right person Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I AM A HINDU STUDYING ISLAM.I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHERE IN QURAN IT SAYS THAT ONLY MUSLIM MEN ARE ALLOWED TO MARRY INTERFAITH BUT IT IS PROHIBITED FOR WOMEN.

  4. Precious star you said Allah will forgive all sins except shirk. Yes I do know that so in first stanza i proved that such marriage is like making 'choice', 'affairs' as ilaha over ALLAH. And indeed it's shirk.

    'muslim' is those who submit their will to Allah. If she does such can't things then obviously she's not submitting her will to God. How can she be called muslim?
    Read
    QURAN 2:221

    • Mamun, read my reply to Muhammad1982. When I said that Allah SWT forgives all sins except shirk, I wasn't commenting on whether marriage to a non-muslim is permissible. I was simply stating a fact regarding forgiveness.

  5. Precious star you said Allah will forgive all sins except shirk. Yes I do know that so in first stanza i proved that such marriage is like making 'choice', 'affairs' as ilaha over ALLAH. And indeed it's shirk.

    'muslim' is those who submit their will to Allah. If she does such can't things then obviously she's not submitting her will to God. How can she be called muslim?
    Read
    QURAN 2:221

  6. Zina is the 2nd biggest sin(1st shirk ofcourse) as our prophet s.a.w said.

    And yes Allah will forgive the sins what He wants(even if not repenting) but not the kabirah gunah like zina.
    And if Allah forgives such women then it will be injustice because there are lots of muslim women who may have had crash on kafir men but they controlled themselves because only of Allah. And Allah will not do injustice wid them. Inshallah.

    • I don't think you can say that Allah's decision to forgive someone is an injustice. Allah is the most just. I am sorry but THAT statement was beyond reprehensible from an Islamic standpoint.

      I think you should all read the following story about the prostitute with a heart of gold.

      http://seekersguidance.org/ans-blog/2011/05/04/forgiving-major-sins-and-the-hadith-of-the-prostitute-who-gives-water-to-the-thirsty-dog/

      • I totally agree with Precious Star....

        Mamun: i don't think any human, including u has the right to even say what Allah must be doing and not doing.... He is YA-ADL, The Just... and He can forgive anyone irrespective of what u think about anyone... He has the right to judge everyone... Not u...
        I also read one of ur comment which either u deleted or this website understood how much inappropriate it was and deleted it...
        In response to ur comment I would like to say that ur comment reflects simply the status of ur heart alone...

    • I totally agree with Precious Star....

      Mamun: i don't think any human, including u has the right to even say what Allah must be doing and not doing.... He is YA-ADL, The Just... and He can forgive anyone irrespective of what u think about anyone... He has the right to judge everyone... Not u...
      I also read one of ur comment which either u deleted or this website understood how much inappropriate it was and deleted it...
      In response to ur comment I would like to say that ur comment reflects simply the status of ur heart alone...

  7. Quoting such stories saitan will encourage everyone to do major sins. Why don't you give examples of those who were very good worshipper of Allah but they were turned to monkey as they didn't forbid who broke the sabbath rule?

    That's direct in Quran.

    And about the hadith you mentioned, the story was before islam surely because prophet said 'her sin WAS forgiven'. And before Muhammad s.a.w there were different rules. Maybe zinah wasn't a major sin like today in islam. Even in first stages of Muhammad's (s.a.w) ministry in islam drinking alcohol was not forbidden.

  8. Here our sister Neha khan is requesting us to pray so that her bf may turn to islam. And that things we should do.

    • I just want to ask one question....

      Who are YOU to judge other muslims and their deeds? It is between Allah and his creatures... If u don't like something and if it is not causing u any harm, u shud stay away from it... This is what Islam says...

  9. dear neha... i can totally empathise wid ur anxieties n fears... bcz v r sailing in the same boat... i too am a muslim n in love wid a christian boy past three years n feel d same 2wrds him as u feel 2wrds ur bf... i m in the same plight 2 try 2 convince him converting to islam... i think love is destined into humanlife through allah's presence in our hearts ... if u feel pure widin i think its not a sin in allah's eyes... moreover nothing is prescriptive in allah's words n left to d descretion of individual conscience to feel what is wrong or right... as per d particular duas i m also searching for d same... if i find any i vil pass on the same to u dear... after all nothing happens widout the consent of allah... neither love nor someone's conversion... v r his puppets...

    • Dear Sarah,

      "if u feel pure widin i think its not a sin in allah's eyes"
      You are deceiving only yourself by believeing this. 'Purity' is not defined by what we 'feel', it is defined by what Allah has told us. Our 'Deeds' need to be good and our 'Intentions' need to pure. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not a good deed, it is haraam.

      Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said: The best acts are doing what Allah has commanded, staying far away from what Allah has forbidden, and having sincere intentions towards what-ever Allah has required of us."

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficient and Most Merciful

    Sister i am in the same situation that you are in.
    I read somewhere that some prayers are accepted by Allah even when we dont ask them. some prayers are never accepted and some prayers are accepted only when we pray coz Allah wants us to pray to Him.

    Have faith in Allah. All power that there is belongs only to Allah!

    The Creator of the Universe Himself says, “ Call Me ( through supplication) and I shall respond!

    Imam Jafar e Sadiq (a.s.) said to Maisar, “ O Maisar! Offer prayer to Allah and don’t say that what is destined will happen. You should remember that Allah has absolute control over the destinies and supplication can change the fate of persons.”

    • The Prophet of Allah (a.s.) has said that the best time for supplication is near dawn (Sahr).
    • Imam Jafar e Sadiq (a.s.) has said “ Do your supplication before sun-rise. This is the time when the rivers of the Firmament are opened, sustenance is distributed and prayers are answered.”

    • Hazrat Ali (a.s.) has said,” If one wants to supplicate to Allah, three timings are the most suitable: 1.On Fridays before the congregational sermon is delivered. 2. At the time of sunset. 3. Before sunrise.( every day).
    • Imam Zain al Abedeen (a.s.) narrates that Hazrat Fatima Zehra (a.s.) heard the Prophet of Allah (a.s.) say that there is a particular time on Fridays when prayers are generally answered. When asked, what is that timing, the Prophet (a.s.) said that it is the time when the sun is half way to set.
    • Hazrat Ali (a.s.) said on Friday there will be a wind of Allah’s Blessing around sunset. The doors of the Heaven are open at that time. This is the best time for supplicating to Allah.
    • • Imam Jafar e Sadiq (a.s.) has said the creature nearest to Allah is one who, while prostrating in prayer, cries and if he has lost hope of his prayer getting answered he should raise his hands towards the Heaven as if importuning Allah for granting his wish.
    If you wish your prayers to be answered, you should first praise Allah, then say durood ( benediction) for the Prophet and his Holy Progeny (a.s.) that your prayers are answered soon.. It is like when one wants to approac a king, he makes presents to those who are close to him. Therefore it is essential that one offers benediction to the Prophet (a.s.) and his family. This benediction should always be repeated before and after any prayer is made. It is natural that when what is accepted before and after the prayer, the prayer too will be accepted!
    Someone might say, if Allah decides what is in the best interest of an individual, then what is the need of supplicating to Him. They think that we might as well leave everything to the wish of Allah.
    The reply to such doubts is that there are three types of wishes of the people that come to the consideration of Allah:
    1. There are certain wishes that are granted by Allah without ever asking for.
    2. There are certain wishes that are not granted despite repeated supplications.
    3. There are certain other wishes for granting of which one has to make supplications.
    Since man, in most cases, cannot categorise the wishes, he has to pray and supplicate to Allah for fulfillment of all his desires and wishes. Men should know that supplication itself is a very superior prayer..
    The other reason for supplication is that everything is governed by certain norms. For example, offering mandatory prayers is a means of ones salvation. True! But prayer too is subject to certain norms. If someone offers prayer without the mandatory ablution, his prayer would not be accepted although, as mentione earlier, prayer is a means of salvation of the person. Similarly for supplication there are certain norms to be observed. Unless a person supplicates with humility, tears (Giria), knowledge of Allah, regularity in prayers, abstention from bad deeds, fair means of sustenance, truthfulness in words and actions etc his wishes may not be granted. Therefore, for Allah to keep His promise to answer the prayers of his creatures, they have to abide by certain conditions.
    The third reason is that Allah wants that the prayers are answered with some delay. Perhaps, immediate acceptance of the prayers of people is not in their best interests. Or perhaps Allah wants the creature to supplicate again, and again, in a tone of submission and capitulation so that his status in piety enhances. Certain other times the prayer is answered but there is delay in its taking effect. Hazrat Moosa (a.s.)’s prayer for the destruction of Pharoh tokk thirty years to fruition.

    prayers are also accepted when one fasts and supplicates.

    May Allah shower his mercy upon u and also accept your prayers and make your heart an abode of peace and joy. Ameen!

    • This is the first comment that had a real answer. Thank you for this. InshaAllah Allah (swt) guides the people we love who are not Muslims whether it be our friends, family, or others to the right path.

      It's so hard to let go of a situation but Allah (swt) only gives us the best that we need in that moment. Sometimes it's so hard to understand and we question Him.

      As human beings it's hard not to because we lack that certain knowledge but that's where our faith and trust comes in.

      Remember He's the All Merciful and if he wants something it will happen no matter how hard you try to control the situation.

      Just pray for the best and leave the rest up to him

  11. “And your Lord says: Make duaa (supplicate) unto me, and I will respond and accept your duaa”. (Surah Ghaafir: Ayat 60)

    “I respond and accept the duaa of the one who supplicates unto me”. (Surah Al Baqarah: Ayat 186)

    “Make duaa unto Allah with humility and secret”. (Surah Ale Imraan: Ayat 55)

    There are numerous ahadith advising the ummah to engage in duaa.

    Hereunder are a few ahadith related to the virtue and importance of duaa.

    “Ask Allah of His grace, because Allah loves that He be asked (i.e. that duaa be made to him)” (Tirmizhi)

    “There isn’t anything nobler to Allah than duaa” (Adabul-Mufrad)

    “Verily, Allah is modest and noble. He feels ashamed that a servant lifts up his hand in supplication and he is returned empty handed”. (Abu Dawood)

    “Duaa is the weapon of a believer, pillar and support of deen (Islaam) and an illumination of the skies and earth”. (Haakim)

    “Allah becomes angry upon the one who does not make duaa”. (Ahmed)

  12. Salaams,

    It's been a full year I think since Sister Neha posted her story regarding her predicament of trying to convert her non-Muslim boyfriend to Islam. I sincerely hope her duaas have been answered.

    Unfortunately I find myself in the same situation. I'd like to know why does it seem easier for a non-Muslim woman to convert to Islam than for a non-Muslim man? Why do non-Muslim men protest so much? Why is it harder for a man to change his faith than for a non-Muslim women? I have relatives who married non-Muslim women who willingly converted, but it was extremely difficult to get the man to convert when in the case of it being a Muslim woman being inlove with a non-Muslim man.

    Another question that worries me is why is it easier for the family of a Muslim man whose wife has converted to Islam- able to accept the marriage and welcome the wife into the family? Yet, if its the other way around, if it's the daughter of the house that marries a convert, the family protests and in my case, my family said that even if I do get him to convert to Islam, they will still disown me?

    I keep thinking back to the words of Ghandi "Be the change you want to see in others" and I think to myself, that if I show cased the beauty and love I have for my own religion-Islam, than perhaps this might lead to the man I'm inlove with to willingly want to convert to Islam. Nobody wants to be preached at. I would love for him to convert willingly.

    I've only read about Sister Neha's story today, I went online insearch of some duaa, something to if not convert him to Islam, but to at least open his heart to the possibility of accepting Islam and converting thereafter.

    The advice given by brother Ashraf has atleast given me some hope and I will be carrying it out. Isha-Allaha Ameen.

    • Assalam alaikum sis Quraisha

      First of all... i am ur sister and not brother... i am a girl goin through the same situation that Neha and u are going through... From now on, i ll include u too in my prayers Inshallah... Plz pray for Neha and me too... May Allah help us all... Take care... 🙂

  13. @ashraf, by asking 'who are you to judge....' you're judging me too. Think about it.
    There is noting like 'Allah is the only judge to judge people' in islam. Although this 'verse' is very popular among 'muslim' like you.

    • Allah is the Only Judge

      Allah is the only Judge, the Judge of Judges, the One Whose authority is above that of anyone else's. His Word is the law, His injunctions are binding on everyone. To accept anyone else's judgment in preference to Allah's is to commit shirk; we seek refuge with Him against doing so. Consider the following verses: (See 12:40 above)

      Say: Surely I have a manifest proof from my Lord but you call it a lie; I have not with me (to bring about) that which you hasten; judgment is only Allah's; He relates the truth and He is the best of those who decide. (6:57) Then they are sent back to Allah, their Master, the True One; surely His is the judgment, and He is the swiftest in taking account. (6:62) O David! Surely We have made you a ruler in the land; so judge between men with justice and do not follow (your own personal) desire lest it should lead you astray from the path of Allah. (38:26)

      http://www.al-islam.org/concept/4.htm

      I wonder what u wud like to say now n how u are going to rescue your bruised ego...

  14. I wonder how you girls will treat with your kafir boyfriends in month of ramadhan!!
    I also wonder how can your kafir boyfriends live one month without getting all the things that he was getting through 11 months.

    • Were u a witness of what things we exchange with each other in Ramzan or in any other month? Don't speak about stuff that you have no knowledge or idea about... Allah is Aalimul Gaybi washshahada... Not YOU... He knows what is invisible and visible.... Not you...

      But you are very much free to sit where ever you are and imagine whatever you want... Cant blame u because unfortunately you have a heart like this which is so corrupt that it can see things only in a corrupt manner....

      I don feel anger anymore when i read what u have written... i pity u and i will pray to Allah to make u a Salihaa person, Ameen...
      Oh yeah.. i am not judging u now... jus stating what is apparent... and i am not assuming or imagining things like u are... i must say ... u hav a very creative sense of imagination...

  15. Assalam alaikum sis Ashraf

    Plz make me maaf for getting your gender incorrect. I will be sure to include you and all those in our situation in my duaas. 🙂

    I agree with sis Ashraf regarding the comment left by brother Mamun (I hope I'm correct regarding gender here). Your comment is insensitive. You may know of certain Muslim girls who indulge in the activities your comment implies, however, you cann't simply paint ALL Muslim girls with the same brush.

    After all we are still human beings albeit Muslim ones. It is as if the heart has a mind of its own and our job as Muslim beings is to control these natural human feelings-a very difficult task indeed.

    I think brother Mamun speaks from the position of fortunately never being in our situation so its easy to pass insensitive comments. What you should remeber is that you never know whats coming around the corner, you never know if a Muslim female that's close to you and whom you care for such as a sister, daughter or friend who may end up in the same position as so many Muslim sisters have out there. Will you pass the same comments to them?

    • walaykum salaam sis

      thank you 🙂

      Sis, only Allah gives imaan in the heart of anyone he wishes... Alhumdulillah, we are in the religion of truth.... While we pray to Allah to give imaan in the hearts of the ppl we love, we could also do one more thing... I have read and heard that some non-muslims instantly embrace Islam once they read the translation of the whole Quran... For example... Yvonne Ridley who was a press reporter read the Quran just once and then immediately became a muslim, by the will of Allah... u can google this and type her name... there are lot of her videos also in youtube... one link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slNC_jyjBcQ

      So my point is if we could somehow convince these guys to read the translation of the Holy Quran jus once, things might begin to work.... but very importantly this has to be done very tactfully... if they feel that we are trying to push them towards Islam they might read it reluctantly and with skepticism which would do no good... we have to figure out a way so that they read The Quran with an open mind and most importantly an open heart...

      I also have a document which explains the attributes of the Quran which are so amazing that anyone would want to read it.... and many more such documents... if u are interested plz give me ur email id... i ll zip them and send it to u...

      • Assalaam alaykum..it is about 5 years away and I'm going through this entire thread because I'm in the same situation that I never anticipated myself to be in in the past. I'm grateful for your contribution. I would really like to know how things transpired. Your faith is a marvel. I'm currently just doing istikhaara over and over. My "guy" mentioned that he does have a copy of the Quran and he has been reading it. And he says there isn't much difference from Christianity. I did mention to him that we can only marry if he becomes Muslim. He seems open minded. But at the same time he's a good Christian . and I don't want to push the subject too much that he thinks I have ulterior motives. I agree with you in using tact. I also like the fact that he tries to pronounce some Arabic words and toys with the idea of learning Arabic in the future.

        It actually feels so good airing this to a person who has been through my situation. And I come from a very religious family. I hope it all went well for you. Allah is Kareem and qadeer. And He creates a Mahraja out of every situation.

      • I like to follow this thread as I am in a similar situation and I honestly believe Muslim men and their families are pushing Muslim women to reach out to non-Muslim men as they are more compassionate and respect women than Muslim men. Finally, just being born in a Muslim family can’t make a man or woman Muslim.

        • Sarah
          It depends on individual .Even there are instances of non Muslims who appears to be compassionate turning out to be abusive after marriage.
          But main point is Islam doesn't allow marriage of muslim woman with non Muslim husband .
          It all up to you whether you care about life after death or just want to enjoy life here itself.
          No doubt whoever has cared less about hereafter before are already in to hereafter after death.
          My suggestion is to think about hereafter and decide about this life which is temporary .

  16. @ Ashraf
    I like your last 2 paragraphs - can you request the administrators to upload the links to the attributes of the Quran so that we can all benefit. I am involved in interfaith meetings and it is very difficult to suggest to a non muslim to read the Quran - specially in delicate situations where you don't want to seem pushy as well - any advice would be appreciated as I have 2 dear friends who are practising muslimahs who have non muslim men interested but cannot got forward as they don't know how to introduce Islam to these men - it is very easy for us to say that they should convert but if we put ourselves in their shoes and someone asks us to change religions, imagine how we would feel - iy has to be done gently and tactfully and I know some men have reverted like this and are wonderful husbands. Allah gives hidaaya but sources of hidaaaya are also provided by Him.

    • @serendipity

      its a pleasure to know that u are involved in interfaith meetings...

      i also feel the same... being pushy wil cause more trouble and ofcourse it is an ordeal that we can only imagine about...

      the material that i have are PDF files that i downloaded from a few websites after hours of crazy browsing and i did it long back so i don't quite remember which were those sites, otherwise i would simply be able to copy paste the links itself here.... and to publish the same on this website might involve copyright issues too i guess but i will see what i can do... please give me sometime...

      as u say that u have seen men who have reverted and now make wonderful husbands, could u plz plz plz tell what kind of tactics were used that led to this success because my situation is really pathetic as i cannot even tell him that i want him to convert to a muslim and i have no idea how to persuade him to read the Quran without offending him in anyway... and i am also willing to personally get in touch with just anyone who could possible help me with this....

      u r trying to help ur 2 dear friends with this, plz take me also as ur friend and Inshallah help me too...

      very well said, "Allah gives hidaaya but sources of hidaaaya are also provided by Him"

      so i guess we have found this blog and are trying to help each other is purely and purely the will of Allah. Alhumdulillah. All power that there is belongs to Allah.

  17. Assalam alaikum sis Ashraf

    Thank you that would be helpful 🙂

    @serendipity, I agree with your point on not being pushy, I don't want to frighten him off.

    • walaykum salaam sis Quraisha,

      I have sent u the documents by mail... 🙂

    • @Quraisha

      well i tried to send u the mail to the id u specified but i got a notification which says : DNS Error: Domain name not found

      could u plz resend the id or send some other id?

  18. Assalam alaikum sis Ashraf

    Lol I do have another email address but I'm afraid to give my full details as it is under my full name. Anyway around that do you think?

    When I first typed my student email address i had made an error, so here is the correct email.
    (email address deleted by Editor)

    Let's hope this works:-)

    • Quraisha,

      This is the second time you have posted your email address. Maybe you are unaware, but exchanging email addresses is against our website policy. Please refrain from doing so.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  19. I am going through the same situation, my ex is a sikh we broke up last year because i was feeling to guilty that i was with a non muslim, he said he would never convert because he has too much faith in his own religion. When we broke up i turned to allah, even taught myself how to pray, and prayed fajr everyday.

    After we broke up we stopped contacting each other, but 1 year later (a few weeks ago) he contacted me again, it has brought back so many feelings and my heart is aching again, i would always make dua last year for him to contact me again, now that he has i feel the pain all over again, he said to me again he has no intention on converting to islam, we aren't together we are just friends but the pain is unbearable again :/ i always make dua to allah that he will be guided to islam insha'allah because the thought of him burning in hell upsets me so much that i try and not think about it.

    This ramadan i have been praying 5 times a day and always making dua to allah he will guide him to the straight path insha'allah, but i have lost faith in him, but not in allah and not in my dua's anything is possible i just hope he does be guided to the straight path before it's to late. :/

    • lol i just read this after 6 months later and i gotta say wow!! It is like looking in to the past. Sisters who were in my position i just want to say time heals. I promise you this, thank allah i am single and happy, it took me a lot of time to get over my non muslim ex, but i have learned a massive lesson from this, firstly relationships are pointless, secondly save the heart ache it's not going to work out if you're with a non muslim please do not make my mistakes sisters, and lastly heartache does not last forever, as time goes by the pain hurts less, heartache is like a scar it will heal by itself but you do not know when, but the scar will be visible, that scar will be there to teach you that lesson so when you look at that scar you will know not to repeat the same mistake again. Whoever is going through what i went through last year i promise you give it time and you will be smiling again eventually 🙂 i will make dua for you sisters who are going through what i did once upon of time, i pray allah will send the right partner to you, i can't wait to fall in love with a muslim brother and get married insha'allah. You'll be alright just be patient. Peace. X

      • The fact remains that no one can force other person to leave their religion. so it is pointless to even try to start relationship then ask for conversion. better to get married to someone similar as you.

  20. I am in the same situation for the past 4 years, and i don't think people how hard this is, i pray everyday for my boyfriend, at one point he wanted to be taught and he did and after speaking to his mum something happened it and it all changed, Neha i really truly hope inshallah our prayers will be answered. Inshallah if it is meant to be it will be as we wish! Inshallah you will let me know how you go on!

    • that's exactly what happened to me. i don't think anyone really realises what you go through, unless you have experienced it. For me he talked to his mum and before then he was okay and wanting to learn, but she is being funny as she has had bad experience of muslims from where she lives. I just don't know what to do!! inshallah i pray that we all get what we would like in life but also if god wills it! inshallah i pray for you all and i hope you will remember me in your prayers!!

  21. assalamu alaikum

    Sis Ashraf, can u please send me too those PDF files?

    Regards to all who participate in the healthy discussions here

    may Allah bring us all together in the jannah

    • ayesha, we do not allow the exchange of private contact info. If Ashraf has a file she wants to share, she can upload it to the web and share the link.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  22. I came across this forum in search for duas and advice of a similar situtation. I'm in love with a non-Muslim for the last 9 years. We've had several discussions on Islam, conversion etc. He originally agreed to convert but then had a change of heart for fear of hurting his parents (he is the only son). He believes in one God but always prayed to a "representation of God". After lots of discussion and applying logic, I convinced him to not pray to the "representation of God" which he agreed to and stopped. I am grateful to have come this far, but need to get past the hurdle of convincing him to say the kalma. He has no problem with the first line because he truly believes in one God; however, he feels like he doesn't have enough facts to confirm Muhammad's prophethood. We have read portions of the Quran together and it's not helped. I am hoping that folks on this forum can share their experience of how they managed to convince their loved one tactfully, without being forceful. Any information, links and relevant experiences are welcome! Thank you.

    • Samina, you cannot make or convince anyone to be the person you want them to be. After nine years you must have begun to realize this fact. The truth is that your relationship with this man is inappropriate and wrong, and there is no future in it. Even if he were Muslim it would be inappropriate, as we do not engage in pre-marital relationships in Islam. The fact that he is not Muslim just makes it doubly doomed. I'm sure this is not what you want to hear, but it's reality.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • For 9 years you've been disobeying Allah and His messenger, you've been sinning greatly and now you shouldn't ask "how to convince their loved one to accept Islam" ?,Sister, don't you want to know how to repent/Ask Allah for forgiveness ? Don't you want to know how to earn Allah's pleasure ?, Basically, You do FEAR Allah, don't you ? Indeed what you are doing is immoral, wrong and forbidden in Islam. This will surely lead to your destruction (him being a non muslim is more of a concern).

      Furthermore, how do you know that he stopped praying to "representation of God" ? we do not posses powers to see through ones heart or mind to know exactly who they are invoking. If he is a Christian, they too believe in one God (1 plus 1 plus 1 equals 1, trinity concept basically), if he's a Hindu, then almost the same concept of shirk. Basically, these religion merely say "one God", but the concept is of shirk. Therefore, even if you "think", you can convince him to Islam, you thought wrong.

      You want to hear of experiences ? Read through this forums of what happened when muslimah marry non muslims and when muslim marries reverts who reverted back to their religion after marriage thus making their marriage invalid and so on.

      how they managed to convince their loved one tactfully, without being forceful. Any information, links and relevant experiences are welcome!

      Verily! You cannot guide whom you love, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He knows best those who are the guided. ( Quran 28:56)

      So FEAR and OBEY ALLAH, "And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped.And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive,Lest a soul should say, "Oh [how great is] my regret over what I neglected in regard to Allah and that I was among the mockers."" (Quran 39:54-56)

  23. Salam'alaykum,

    I've learnt that, one of the reason why muslim women aren't allowed to marry non muslim men is because sometimes these muslim women will destroy their Islam. It is a fact that, when muslim woman marry or interact with non muslims they are somehow influenced by non muslim ideology or etc which is evident in your case.

    You said

    I find it very unfair that a Muslim Guy can marry a non muslim woman and the woman no.

    Know that in Islam, Allah forbids muslim women to marry non muslim for many excellent reasons ad wisdoms which our mind might not be able to grasp and here you say, "It is very unfair " ? Subhana'Allah, we 'humans' can never be more 'fair', 'just' and 'wise' than Allah Jalla Jalaluh. Do you think, Allah is unfair when He gave the law ? Surely, your statement indirectly implies that Quran law is unfair but what you did not realize is that, YOU, me and all humans can never be more wise than Allah and so you should never make such statements just because you seem to "love" a non muslim. This is exactly how your Islam has been destroyed. The law is fair and not your intellect.

    This is exactly how Shaytan promised Allah when "He said: My Lord! because Thou hast made life evil to me, I will certainly make (evil) fair-seeming to them on earth, and I will certainly cause them all to deviate (Quran 15:39)

    Therefore, you "thought" what you did was "fair" but in truth, you are deviated with such ideology.

    Surely Allah enjoins the doing of justice and the doing of good (to others) and the giving to the kindred, and He forbids indecency and evil and rebellion; He admonishes you that you may be mindful. (Quran 16:90)

    A brief enjoyment in this world! – and then unto Us will be their return, then We shall make them taste the severest torment because they used to disbelieve [in Allah, belie His Messengers, deny and challenge His proofs, signs, verses, etc.] [Quran 10:70]

    Some other deviated "opinions" you got are,

    we are making our lives harder by thinking that we are better than other religions because we are Muslim

    The truth is that, we are INDEED THE BEST than other religion because Islam is the religion of Allah. We must be proud to be a muslim. Allah also said that it is better to marry a muslim slave than to marry a kafir because a disbeliever will only bring you to hell. Our prophet also said that a sinning muslim is better than the best of disbelievers.

    Allah said: And say: Truth hath come and falsehood hath vanished away. Lo! falsehood is ever bound to vanish. (Quran 17:81)

    Allah also said: "This day have I perfected your religion for you and completed My favor upon you and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [Quran 5:3]

    All sane mu'meen believe that Islam is the best religion than other religions but only you seem to have an opposing view, a view which shows that you are not a proud muslim but an individual who posses a distorted view of Islam.

    I am sorry to say that but we the Muslim are selfish and narrow minded.

    Never say "we" when referring to yourself, because it seems that your mind is small and narrow that simple logic and Islamic wisdom has no place in it.

    I've been betrayed by muslims cheated on and they just wanted to have sex with me because I happen to be beautiful.

    You've explained yourself very very well and I can certainly picture the type of person you are. Firstly, Islam forbids pre-marital relationships (bf-gf) and yet you have had few boyfriends. Secondly, Islam forbids it because it is immoral, wrong, disgusting and disobedience towards Allah and so obviously you will have to suffer by disobeying Allah. Thirdly, Allah orders proper hijab, purity and modesty and yet you've been into pre-marital relationships. Fourthly, if someone wants to have sex with you, it doesn't happen out of the blue, the truth is, you played along. Afterall, these types of forbidden relationship and the people involved, makes the bad apples in this muslim ummah and then you actually talk about "the good morals that Mohammed taught us" ? Certainly what you've been doing is no where near to "morally right". You are far away from the teaching of Islam and so you have much to study about.

    Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, describing the effects of sin:

    … Sin corrupts reason, for reason is light, and sin inevitably extinguishes the light of reason. If its light is extinguished it becomes weak and imperfect. One of the salaf said: No one disobeys Allaah but his reason is lost. This is obvious, because if his reason was present, it would have prevented him from committing sin when he is under the full control of Allaah, may He be exalted, or how could he commit sin openly when He is watching him, and he is enjoying His blessings and His angels are bearing witness over him and watching him, and the teachings of the Qur’aan forbid that and the implication of faith and the remembrance of death and the Fire should restrain him. The good of this world and the Hereafter that he misses out on because of sin is many times greater than the pleasure he may get from it. Can anyone who takes lightly all that we have mentioned above still have sound reason?

    … If sins accumulate, then a seal is placed on the sinner’s heart and he becomes one of the heedless, as one of the salaf said concerning the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “Nay! But on their hearts is the Raan (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn” [al-Mutaffifeen 83:14] – he said: This is sin after sin. Al-Hasan said: It is sin upon sin, until the heart becomes blind. And someone else said: When their sins and acts of disobedience become many, they encircle their hearts.

    Last thing not only Muslims will go to heaven but all good people.

    Any proof from Quran or sunnah for this statement or its just one of your distorted opinion ?

    I'm marrying him after getting my bachelors and i know that God had put him in my way for a reason.

    If there comes a time that your "bf" never converts to Islam or if he leaves Islam after marrying you, then don't tell me "Allah gave him to you", because Allah said in the Quran that He will punish you for marrying non muslim but for now Allah's wrath is on you because of your illicit relationship with a non mahram.

    By the way, do you know that, you need your father's permission to get married ? or else your marriage would not be valid.

    " And indeed they avert them from the way of guidance while they think that they are rightly guided. The worst that the companion or the devilish companion would do is to avert someone from the truth. And not allow them to wake up to find out the truth, rather deceives him and makes him think that he is on the right path until painful fate and destiny takes him by surprise "(Az-Zukhruf: 37).

    I noticed that you use the words like "God", "Muhammad", "muslims are narrow minded, selfish", "not only muslim will go paradise but also "good people"" etc ? I wonder if you have some hidden evil agenda.

    Lastly, I feel you should know who SATAN is.

    Allah said: "And do not follow the footsteps of Satan, indeed he is to you a clear enemy. He only orders you to evil and immorality, and to say about Allah what you do not know"(Al-Baqarah: 168-169).

    "He (Satan) promises them and arouses desire in them, but Satan doesn't promise them except delusions"(An-Nisa’: 120).

    "… But I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me, so don't blame me, but blame yourselves…”(Ibrahim: 22).

    But as for anyone who chooses to remain blind to the remembrance of the Most Gracious, to him We assign an [enduring] evil impulse, to become his other self (Quran 43:36)

    Therefore, know your enemy and FEAR AND OBEY ALLAH.

    "And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped.And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive,Lest a soul should say, "Oh [how great is] my regret over what I neglected in regard to Allah and that I was among the mockers."" (Quran 39:54-56)


    "O Mankind indeed the promise of Allah is the truth so let not worldly life delude you and be not deceived about Allah by the deceiver (Satan). Indeed Satan is an enemy to you so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the blaze
    (Fatir: 5-6).

  24. Hello sister,
    Maybe things have changed for you now, but better late than never. My advice is to perform Isthikara. Once that is done and you feel acceptance of this person from Almighty Allah, then you may proceed to make him understand who Allah (SWT) is. Then the Quran and most importantly hadith. If he feels that this is unacceptable then it is best you marry someone else for Allah's sake. Allah will guide you through it. THis is a form of Jihaad for you. Try not to fail it.

    Regards

  25. Neha khan can u please tell me how is your life now? today i'm in the same condition .A muslim girl in love with a hindu boy.. can u tell me what u did after seeing all these replies..is that man still in your life? Plz its very important for me to know.

  26. Salam.
    I will suggest you to try to make him to accept Islam. Provide him true reality about Islam. If he loves you then he must listen you nicely. Talk to him nicely and ask him to read Quran by himself. Hope so if Allah want him to become muslim he will and he do not then you have to leave him. Because Islam is first then your love to men.

  27. Assalamualaikum nehakhan? How's your boyfriend? Are you married wit him? My problem same like you..

  28. Make simply love marriage istihara/ 2 rakats after first rakat to read surah Kafirun, after second rakat surah ihlas. better so..in the end of namaz read dua
    .“Allaahumma Innaka Taqdeero Wala Aqdeero Wata Lamoo Wala ‘Aa Lamoo Wa Anta Allaamul ‘Ghuyoob Fa Inna Ra a’eeta Inna Fi ‘name of the girl/boy’ Bin te /Bin ‘girl’s/boy’s mother’s name if you know’ Khairallee Fi Deeni Wa Duniyaae Wa A’khiratee Faqdur Haali Wa in Kaana Fi ‘Ghairehaa ‘Khairammin Haali Fi Deeni Wa A’khiratee Faqdur Haali, Wa Sallallaahu Ta ‘Aala ‘Ala MuhammadinwwaAlehi Wa Ashaabihi Wa Barik Wasallim”
    it is not connected with dream!
    After the namaz Allah, inshaallah will send you the replay yes or no.
    Trust Allah even muslim it doesnt mean that you will be happy together. Allah knows!

  29. Assalamualaikum.
    Just as we were at their place, it is undeniable that it would be hard to turn to another religion while we already grow up with it. All of this time, we spent our time to learn about about our belief. Human all have the same nature, what shape them the most, was their belief. One thing for sure, when they believe that we all have only one God, doesn't matter what they might call it, it would be much better, because due to that, they would know good and bad. Automatically, they will do their best to avoid sin. Don't worry, falling for someone with different religion is not a big deal because Allah SWT want us to unite. There must have been reason why you met him. He could always convert for marriage, but that doesn't last for long. Someday, when Allah SWT tested you both with a small thing, he could easily lose faith in Allah SWT. This world is not the same like before, many things changed, people recognized Islam as terrorist. Perhaps, they will keep on discriminating you even though you have tried to tell them that it was not true. You need to do it with all your heart if you really love him, if Islam is the best for him, help him. InshaAllah, with all your effort, you saved one life.

  30. To begin with, i would like to reply to neha khan, the poster of the question. Neha, i too have been in a similar situation. But i have never been in a relationship. I have a friend with whom i am pretty close and find in him all qualities i would like to have in my future husband. i love him sincerely, but what lacks in him is the faith in Allah, which is supposed to be the prime quality to be sought in our in future spouses. As i said it was only a one-sided infatuation and took a long time for me to get out of it. To let go wasnt really easy. In the process i have even fallen into depression multiple times. But what helped me get through is my faith in Allah. It was Allah who helped me out of the situation, guided me and made me realise my fault, Alhamdulillah.
    Sister, my point is we need to set our priorities right. And the top priority MUST always be Allah. Then only even your parents should come. Realise the fact that if we sacrifice something for the sake of Allah, He would definitely replace it with something much better. Have full faith in him. Tawakkul in him will surely help you out. If you find it tough, just remind yourself of the story of Ibrahim (A.S.), when he was ready to sacrifice his beloved son.And look at how Allah blessed them, Subhanallah! Stay away from haram relationship. Free yourself frm such thoughts by engaging yourself in remembrance of Allah,as such distractions are of course from shaitan. This is not just for Neha, but everybody else who is in asimilar situation. From my experience, from the time you decide to let go of such desires simply for the sake of Allah, you would experience immense peace. Chances are we might again have an inclination to get back to old ways, butremind yourself how much you had to strugle to come out of it. so going back would not only imply demeaning your efforts, but also putting yourselg in a looser's shoes after having given guidance by Allah. May Allah guide us all and not let us go back aafter giving guidance! ameen!
    We shall rather spend time praying for a righteous spouse who would help us make our worldly and life in the hereafter successful. We may also pray for our non-muslim beloved ones to be guided by Allah, but of course see to to it that you never cross the line and jump to a haram relationship.
    I hope the experiences i have shared may be useful to any of you! 🙂

  31. Hello,
    I am just now reading this. Would you please tell me if you ever found a solution? Did he convert? If not, what happened?

  32. It must be hard for you to be with a person in different religion, due to restrictions and many more. To be fair, if you were in his place, you wouldn't want to convert as well. You both grow up in different environment, different belief. If it is just a du'a you requesting for, bring along the faith. It is impossible for us to change people, but it is possible and always be when it comes to Allah. He is the only one that control our hearts, your heart and his heart. If being with him is the best for both of you, if being with him draws you closer to Allah, just believe that at any moment from now, anything could happen. Make yourself ready to face anything.

  33. I have been in a relationship with a Christian. Wallahi wallah has always been in my heart and I felt as if he was to become Muslim he would be the perfect Muslim because of how he treated people, his parents and others. He was giving and very honest. During the relationship I was very guilty and suddenly we decided that it wasn't going to work as I was learning more about Islam. Everyday I have prayed for him to become Muslim and I also gave him the Quran. We have never really stopped talking we always check up on each other but a few months later he told me he gave the Quran to his friend. I really love him and believe in allah. Will allay help me in answering my prayers. I don't want to commit any sins I want allah to help him open his heart inshallah. He is an Arab Christian.

  34. You just need to ask him to embrace Islam and accept Allah as his creator and God and Muhammad (p.b.u.h) are the last prophet of Allah et.c e.t.c if he accept than go marry him but if he don't than just change your mind

  35. Dear sister aslamvalekum i am going through same problem and thats why i am searching the dua also and i finally found a dua and that is do dua by sincere heart and dear sister one more thing allah is merciful he knows everything so take it as a test because this situation is also given by allah and pray as much as you can and try to read kalma or any dua 24 hours try to say allah name or ask allah about help all the time and beleive him he will listen you because he promise he never keep any one hardworks and also try to fast everyday and while opening fast ask your need again i don't know how much time it will take maybe few min or maybe few ear but yes right know you and i are in this situation because allah want to test us our iman he gives us this situation so don't worry just pray as much as you can and cry as much as you can infront of allah why cry because he loves tears he is merciful and when we cry infront of our parents they feel so bad they try to fix our problems so think when we cry infront of allah than what happen he loves greattest of all and be patience don't lose hope even year pased and don't take tension and at last sorry sister actually my english is not good so it's a little difficult to write in english and i am writing this maybe allah wants me to write what i write today thankku bye take care of yourself and try to be happy and don't lose hope even if you feel very sad keep smiling keep believing

  36. And also listen Amy

  37. Christians now are people of the book. We believe in one God but Jesus is the intercessor of sins. The great high priest. Son of God is the title given to the Messiah for restoring the bond that adam broke.

  38. HI,
    i am venkatesh a non muslim from India would like to convert to islam and marry a woman by birth a muslim. because she can taught me about islam thoroughly so any muslim woman widowed also welcome no age bar.

Leave a Response