Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua to convince parents for love marriage

Dua woman at Sunset

Aoa.

I want to ask for any dua that can melt my parents and family's hearts so that they can be ready to marry me to a guy I love. I did istikahra for this and the dream was positive too. But there is in no way my family would agree to this marriage. Please help me and guide me what I can do?

Anonymus1234


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34 Responses »

  1. Well, you have to give us some background to your case ie,
    Your relationship with him,
    Your backgroud and his background and religion,
    Reason for your parents disapproval.

    Well, it's not a good thing to go against your parents wishes...many many have done this but it's not a good thing. Nothing can change a persons heart only if they want to change.

  2. Assalaamu Alaykum sister.

    To the best of my knowledge there is no dua that can make your parents agree. You can't make anyone do anything. Ultimately if you've made istikhaarah - Allah will cause to happen whatever is best for you.

    It might be worth learning about istikhaarah again - please scroll to the top of the page and click on 'istikhaarah questions & answers' and read through those links. Istikhaarah is not about a dream in a nutshell.

    Also IF you are in a haraam relationship (either physically - involving any form of touching, or emotionally - no touching but talking, flirting and saying I love you etc) then you need to stop and make tawbah. No sin is too big for Allah's mercy.

    There are conditions to tawbah though:

    1) Immediately stop the sin
    2) Feel regret for the sin.
    3) Resolve/Decide not to do it again.
    4) Ask Allah to forgive you.

    Use this time to turn to Allah and get close to Him. Not for this guy, not so that He will melt your parents' heart, but do it for yourself. Because you need Allah. So do it to please Him and He (swt) will turn your bad deeds into good deeds.

    And another thing (if one persists in doing bad deeds and asks Allah)

    Then he (i.e. the Prophet) made mention of a man who is constantly in journeys and has dishevelled hair and dusty appearance (due to constant journeys for performing acts of righteousness such as Hajj, Umra, seeking knowledge etc.) and he raises his hands towards the sky saying “O my Rabb. O my Rabb”. But his food is from haraam. His drink is from haraam. His clothes are from haraam. He is nourished from haraam. How can it (his prayer) be accepted?” (Muslim; Mishkaatul Masaabih pg. 241, Qadeemi)

    So Allah knows best but turning your heart towards Allah may result in that dua being accepted.

    Even if you haven;t had a haram relationship make istighfar anyway (seek forgiveness from Allah). It is something every Muslim should be in the habit of.

    Marriage
    Actions taken in accordance with the halal tend to have barakah in. Conversely actions done in a haraam way tend to have no barakah in. I know of lots of cases of people who've married after haraam relationships and have had TERRIBLE marriages - because its devoid of barakah - or they couldnt marry and went through excessive heartbreak.

    So to have Barakah - DO THINGS THE RIGHT WAY - and Allah will make things easy for you.

    This is my advice - turn to Allah, increase in worship, make lots of istighfaar and dua, start praying 5x if you dont, if you do then pray tahajjud in the night - and ask Allah to open the doors of His Mercy and melt your parents hearts - then InshaAllah this will help.

    It's also good to think about why you want to marry this guy, why do you love him? Honestly ask yourself. Why would he make a good husband or would he? If there's something you're lacking and you feel that this guy is compensating for that - then that's a recipe for disaster!!!! It's worth letting go of it.

    I hope this helps InshaAllah.

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Salaam
    My advice to you is be very careful with your choice of marriage if your parents are not fully behind you. Marriage is not one day of romance - don't judge this man you want to marry based on what he has told you and been towards you. Let your parents have their say too - we never understand this till we get married. My father was very unhappy with my marriage because my husbands family were from a different upbringing and my husband refused to live separately. Eight months down the line we divorced. His parents emotionally and spiritually drained me - it was a unbelievably unhealthy environment to live in. My fathers words kept going round and round my head. He did not have the strength to stand up to his parents - I left. So take your parents disapproval as a sign of your isthakhara also - it does not only come in the form of a dream but through real situations and behaviours of the people involved towards you. I hope InshAllah you do not attach yourself to this man - if its pleasurable do not get attached it won't last. Think ahead think carefully of your parents resistance and reflect on their reasons for disapproving.

  4. hi
    can any one help me regarding my problem I love someone my whole family know that just my father was not many time his sisters can our home my family also went their to meet with his family suddenly why my family agents from this marriage my family thought that he is not perfect for me because he is leave as a join family but he promised me that we will be separate and know my father he is not agree about this please give me any dua to convenience him for my marriage with whom I love as soon as possible because his family gave us one month time period

    Thanks

  5. assalamu alaikum,i m deeply in love with a guy he also loves me a lot we both want to gget married and hv babies and want to spend our life together but his parents hate me nd they want him to marry with the girl they selected. pls pls pls help me nd give me sm strong dua to convience them i dnt know his mother name so pls tell me in place of his mothers name wat name should i take for wazifa.pls help me pls

    • Wazifa in Islam

      Also, your understanding of Istikhara is wrong. It has nothing to do with mother's names or any other names or birth dates. Those are all shirki practices coming from Hindu astrology and numerology.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dear Aashi
      Allah Will give you each and every thing to you which are good for you just pray to allah that he can give you which is best for you if he is in your naseeb definitely you will be get and if your parents agree that mean allah also agree. and second thing is that if he could do any thing against his mother that mean after marry and after few days of life he completely ignore you might be he leave you just because of his mother so plz don't trust those people who couldn't defiance you in front of his family my dear sister marriage is not game of one day its a life time game so please first completely observe him then take any step for marriage pray 5 time namaz and say Ya allah show me the right path and give me the right person for my life partner if Allah made him for you the you will be get if he is not good for you allah will help you for your best future.
      Best wishes for you
      AoA

  6. Hi M Payal 26 years old ..I m Hindu (Daivadnya Brahmin).I love a guy who is 4 years elder to me...He is a Jain.he belong s to a Well reputed family and his parents have also agreed for our relation.We know each other since from 8 - 10 months.He is very understanding,open minded,caring and responsible person.We are planning to move forward.but still now I have not informed my family about this.they are very traditional. They think that doing love marriage means its a black mark to their reputation and prestige.They are not my real parents.(They have just brought up me,he is my mother's bro,i have lost my parents at the early age of life as I was 5 years old).I dont want to hurt them but at the same time m sure that they will not except our relation.What shud I do?His parents are ready and we are planning for a court marriage first and then we are thinking to inform them.But the question is Would it be right to do so?how to proceed to inform them after court marriage.There is no one who can stand by my support on my side .What should I do?Please suggest.
    Today m very happy...........i convienced my masi and told her all about me and my bf relation she is ok with it and even my cousin is supporting me ......but still have got long to do.My masi suggest that its impossible to convience my family members becoz thy r dame sure that they wont agree..she is suggesting me to do court marriage and go with my fiance.....becoz my masi is saying she is with me forever but family ko convience kare jab pata hai kuch hoga nahi its a waste.........wt shud I do?

  7. AOA . my name is areeba i am first year MBBS student . I love a guy and we are in relationship from 1 year but we are very serious for eachother can't live without eachother . At first we made many mistaked but then we did tawbah . I know my parents will not agree because we belong to different castes and my parents are strictly against this . What should i do now ? Please help me . I can't live without him not even a single day

    • Wa alaykum as-salam. Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. Asslam o alikum, my name is Huma waqar. I m an engineering student. I am feeling very depressed about the situation i am facing now a days. I really like some one from my heart. We were both class fellows from 5 years. and we like each other from last 4 years. He is from middle class family and i m from rich family. 6 months before his family came and they asked my parents for his son's proposal. We both were very happy as our parents decided to make both of us engaged soon. After this, in 6 months his family was not responding properly, they started to make excuses. They called my parents 5,6 times that they will come very soon for duwaye khair. My father called them also in order to invite them but each time his parents said that they they are busy right now they will come very soon. In this 6 months there came 3 proposals for me from very rich family but i want to marry the one i like. So i rejected all of my proposals in Waiting for his parents.After 6 months, his parents said sorry the istekhara did not came right so we do not want our son to marry , we have only one son and we cant take risk. Now my parents are very angry they said that his parents deceived us so, do not contact this guy again. But i cannot live without him.He said that he also cannot live without me and he will keep on trying at home in order to convince his parents. I tried a lot to gorget him but each time i failed. I m doing Istekhara from last 2 weeks but could not getting the result. What should i do? I m feeling very tensed and i do not have any kind of guidance from any one. I just want him back in my life. Please guide me what should i do

  9. How did things turn out for you? I'd really like to know what happened and have your parents finally agreed?

    • No, now they are not ready for this relationship. I am still doing prayers that everything may settle down soon. I left this matter to Allah. Allah knows well what is good or bad for us.

  10. Salam alaykum my brothers and sisters I am in a sticky situation! I've been in love with a guy for at least four years and now that he's ready to marry me my family doesn't approve of it because of some mistakes he did in the past and because his parents and my parents don't get along. He has given up all hope because he feels as if it's impossible to win this battle. I really want this guy to be my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Please help me. -anonymous45

    • salam, sister i jjust wanted to ask by you saying 'He has given up all hope because he feels as if it's impossible to win this battle' did he back away from you and wants to move on ?

      • No he hasn't moved on, he feels as he will never get to be with me because my parents and his parents don't like each other and when I told my parents that I was to be with him they threaten to kick me out the house. He doesn't want that to happen to me that's why he backed away.

    • What kind of mistake has he made in the past ?

      • he hung with people that smoked and drank but the only thing he use to do is smoke. And also people keep making up rumors about him saying that he's a horrible person and whatnot. My parents don't want me to be with him because of his father

        • you don't know, he may be drinking as well?
          well you may get the whole report because if you get to marry him and you get to know the hidden secrets after marriage ,that will surely disappoint you and your parents.
          parents are parents because they know the world better than us.from what you are going through now they have passed.
          well what parents tells us to do seem to hurt but actually it turns out to be better after a period.
          what we do on our behalf seem correct in start but after a time period it turns out the biggest mistake of our lives.
          It's just an advice,but take it seriously.
          however all depends upon you because no one among us is going to suffer, but only you.this is your life and the decision should be yours.

  11. Salaam,
    I'm 18 years old. I pray my salah's regularly. I've got three proposals from family. I rejected one of them because he doesn't study, he is from a good family and also he was interested in me but for me, education is very important. The second one is a lawyer, he is 7 years older than me but I believe age does not matter in a relationship when you have a good understanding, he is interested in me and he is from a good family, he is a mature, sincere and honest man. I really want him to be my future partner but my father doesn't agree because of some ego problems. The third one has done IT and works in Saudia, his family is a bit conservative than ours. My father doesn't agree with the third one as well. I want to get married to the 2nd one, no one in the family is supporting me to convince my dad. It's already been 1 year now to his proposal. No one waits for soo long for the answer. Many ppl from my family did love marriages but at my time no one supports me just coz the ego prob even tho the ppl who did love marriages have done that in the same family from where the 2nd proposal came. My dad has no prob with that guy. How should I convince my dad? Please, advice me something. I really need a good advice at the moment.

  12. I love someone but our parents are not ready plz help out to get dua to convence both parents

  13. Assalam o alikum. my problem is that a guy i like him but his parents don't agree to come early at my home for my perposal and my mom actually wanted that i'll tied into a knot soon but actually i want to do wait for him kindly tell me any dua that make his parents heart melt. cause i don't want to do disobey my parents i want him in a right way kindly do me a fvour and tell me any dua that make his parents melt or mine also. Thank yew

  14. I want to mary with my choice but my parents want marry with my uncles daughter but i dont like her plz suggest me some adivce what i can do

  15. Assalamu alaikum
    I am 24 yrs girl from Bangalore, I saw Ur website and felt to contact u for my problem

    I and my far related cousin is in love with each other since 2 and half years, we want to get married to each other, my family is OK with it but his family is opposing our relationship and wants him to marry some other girl, he doesn't want to do that.

    How can I make them agree to our marriage?

    Hoping to get Ur reply as early as possible

    Shukriya

  16. Asalam Alaikum,

    My parents are approach me to marry a girl and i like it. Then suddenly my parents start saying that this marriage will not happen because that has has some sharp(name match / Sarpa Dhosa)) which is against Islam (Shirk/Haram). I am trying to educate my parents it is haram in our Islam and I told them that I did the Isthikara and the girl also did the same and we both got the positive reaction.

    But my parents are not willing to listen and still they are believing in Hundu types of seeing name match and all. I do not know what to do further. Because I want to get marry with both of us parents blessing.

  17. salam,
    im in love with my 2nd cousin since 3 years..he really love me but his family is not in a favour of our marriage just because of one reason, which is my first cousin who got divorce from his husband and now his family is thinking that im not a good girl for him just because of my cousin's divorce issue , his parents just forcing him to get married to another girl but he do not want to so please suggest us what should we have to do to convence his parents

  18. I want to ask for any dua that can melt my parents and family’s hearts so that they can be ready to marry me to a guy I love. I did istikahra for this and the dream was positive too. But there is in no way my family would agree to this marriage. Please help me and guide me what I can do?

  19. Hello..I am in graduation..I m fallen in love with a guy...and we love each other but my parents are not ready.
    Because he lives in Mumbai where my elder sister are already exist....she thinks that if I married with my love his husband gives divorced her because of society or reputation... that's why my parents are not ready for this...there is no problem of caste.. money.. family background etc....only my sister is the reason why my mommy is not ready....what I do??
    Help me

  20. As salam alecum
    First my parents agreed for my love marriage now there got against it and there are refusing it please give me dua or surah so that there accept within 2days pleaseee

  21. Assalam Walaikum,I am 27 year old women 3 months back i met a guy who is muslim and there is no difference in our cast,in last 3 months we had a lot coversations via call and meet,this guy was very honest and loyal in all the terms,and mashaallah was religious too,he also asked me to perfom istakhara...we came in contact in thre month of Feb 2018 and i performed istakhara in march after that he told his family and parents about me,we falled for each other and we never did anythoing wrong in this 3 months as we both want a bond to be halal the boy even asked to me to share his details with family anfd I did also.Unfortunately right after 3 months when the boy made me meet his mother her mother didnt like me she did not gave any spefific reason but she is not happy with our relationship.They boy is also very upset as he wanted to marry me but cant fight with his mom and he is not lying i know that.

    I try to pray the maximum in my will,I trust the timing of Allah,but i dont feel like loosing this guy as he is high in imaan and i feel we will make a good pair by following all the halal things.Please suggest me with dua so that the boy mother get convinced as my intention is very pure.I want to pray to allah and try a lilttle more harder for the same.

    Please reply soon and guide me for the good.Inshaallah.

    • Make dua' in your own words and ask Allah to bless you with a righteous and kind husband. Ramadan has just begun alhamdulillah, so this is the best time for dua'.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  22. Assalamu alaikum,im 23 year old islam girl im very depressed now i dont know what to do...thats why im leaving a message here and i hope that Allah will give me relief soon..im in love with a non muslim guy he is very good at heart .we want to marry each other but i want his entire family to get converted to islam.i have not spoken about this to him and his family i need a dua to make a family of father mother son and daughter to get converted to islam..and i want my parents to accept my love .please help me

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