Dua to make my parents agree to my marriage with my friend
I am a Muslim girl. I want to marry my Muslim friend. But i think my mom dad will not agree with this because they want my life partner will very rich and very good looking. My Muslim friend is not so much good looking and rich also. But he is very good in nature he is very helpful and caring and understanding. I don't want to hurt my Mom dad, if they will know that i am in love they will hurt like any thing.
Please help me I want some duwa, in which my mom dad will automatically like him.
please please please,
Sana Sheikh.
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Sana,
So that I might offer you my humble opinion on the matter...may I ask how old you are?
Salam
Sister,
I think you should simply pray for guidance and acceptance of your boyfriend by your family. Beyond asking for your path to be revealed to you, there's not much that you can do. Your future and destiny are in the hands of your creator, not yourself.
On a similar note, I've noticed that many of these 'request for Duaa' posts have a very strange feeling to them. They feel similar to that of someone asking for a request for a spell of some sort. I know that isn't the intentions of the posters, and maybe they just didn't really think about the role that we play, and the role that our creator plays in our lives and how it affects what we're capable of. I ask to not take that wrong and do not take offense, it would be a waste of a response to say 'I never asked for a spell, magic is haram, etc'. I'm not implying that you were, but possibly you forgot exactly what a Duaa is, what it is capable of, where you can find it, and how much control it gives you over your life.
A Duaa is nothing more than a request to our creator, Allah SWT for something. Whether it be to clear a path so we can move forward, to answer a question or to give us help when we are in need, we have no control over how our prayers will be answered.
There is no 'book of Duaa's' that someone would look up and say, 'Ok.. under the relationship chapter, how to get your parents to like your boyfriend "instantly", simply say these words three times a day for a week, you should see results in a few days...' This very request implies you are under the impression of two things:
First, that you are in control of your destiny, not Allah. Please don't take offense, but understand that rather than asking Allah to provide you with a husband you will love, you're asking for a recipe to sway the psyche of your parents to favor the gentleman you have found and want to marry. Of course no one can do such a thing without consulting a witch or magic worker.
Second, that Allah has given us a list of Duaa's to invoke or materialize things in our lives in a time frame provided by us, that is at all "guaranteed" to provide results . This circles back to the idea that we chose items from a list of desired objects or outcomes, and then, invoking the powers of a powerful entity, consciously bring that item or outcome into the physical world at our disposal. Of course Allah SWT has provided us help, as often people in this world need help and guidance but don't know how to ask. In these circumstances, he has given us general guidelines for asking for help. Of course people will change them to suit their particular needs or questions, and that is why Allah's guidelines of what to ask have remained so generalized, so that they may be used as an outline for asking a question by all of us. However, you will not find, in the Qur'an or any other book or source of information written in truth, a phrase or list of words to bring money, love, fortune, health or any other kind of help into your life without the explicit help and decision of Allah to do so, and how long it would take certainly would not be in your control, no matter how much you want or need it.
I really don't want to make you bitter to my advice, or lash out at me since my words basically are saying that it's possible that you may not marry this boy due to your parents preferences, and that Allah may not decide that this is the right path for you. The fact is, I don't know what Allah will chose for you, and there's no way for you to take control of his decisions for you, or for you to expedite (speed up) his decision, whatever that may be. All we can do is ask for guidance in the matter... and there's no harm in asking for exactly what you want. Praying is a lot like shooting... aim small, miss small.
I'm sorry if this caused you pain or frustration, but I think it's more important to remember what our roles are in this world and where we need to recognize the difference between cultural beliefs which often cross the lines of Shirk without knowing it, and the perfect religion which Allah has provided for us.
Also, I wanted to say that although our religion is one of common sense and peace with Allah's guidance, I read very often how these commands, allowances and blessings of our creator are hindered by cultural practices that often completely contradict Allah's intentions for us. Although we are encouraged to seek out each other, no matter what our social status or wealth, ethnic background or how handsome we might be, often times a culture takes it upon themselves to create New rules and boundaries for themselves. In the beginning of this change, it may have been possible to reverse this problem and save mankind from splitting off into these racist, bias, sexist bigoted groups of people, but now the problem has bred itself your generations and it is a part of our history and not so easily overcome. I really hope the best for you and pray that your parents come around. It seems the newer generations are more open eyed to the absurdity of their parents and grandparents distortion of our religion into these cultural practices that have absolutely nothing to do with what Allah every planned for us. Hopefully as you grow into an adult and have children, you'll put yourself in a position to allow your children to practice the proper form of Islam and get our world headed in the right direction.
Best of luck to you
Sister Stacy
Stacy, thank you! You expressed some thoughts that have been nagging at me for some time, but I wasn't able to put it as clearly as you have. If you wanted to turn this into an article - maybe called "Dua or Magic Spell?" - I would give it a permanent spot on this website.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Where should I ask my question?
Please register and submit your question as a separate post. Thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Masha'Allah epic !! It can't get any better Subhana'Allah. Thank you.
Wael,
I could turn this into an article on my WordPress blog... Anything else I would need instruction on how to do. If I publish this on my blog, do I send you the url for the article?
Salams
s. Stacy
Sure, that would be fine, then we'll reprint it here Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Ok, I'm sorry to do it this way but since it's at your request, I'll just post the URL for the new blog I opened here and you can copy the URL which will take you to the article, then remove this comment if you wish. I will also eventually put up the response I wrote about wearing hijab that you asked me to make an article out of, and give you that URL too... do the editors have an email so I don't have to do it this way? I feel it's a bit inappropriate to take up space where advice should be to manage getting something published, just to let you know I recognize that issue.
Here's the URL to the above comment I posted in the form of an article:
http://teaberrytree.wordpress.com/
Salam Alikom I am A Sunni Boy 18 Years Old I love a Girl She also Love Me But My Parents Don't Want to I Marry With her and Also Like this Problem is in Her Parents I Trust on Allah Jaljalahu inshallah 100% My Problem will Solve Soon So I Need for advisory to Which Dua I Recite to Accept My Family
Thanks I Will Be With for your Good Respond
Salaams,
Being that you're a male, you can marry her if you want against your parents wishes. You don't require their approval to marry someone in the same manner a sister would need the consent of her wali.
If you are just trying to be respectful to them, the best thing is to talk to them and try to clear the issues that way.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am a Muslim Boy. I want to marry my Muslim friend. But her mom dad will not agree with my self because they want her life partner will very rich and very good looking. and i'm not so much rich also. But he is very good in nature he is very helpful and caring and understanding. and i want to marry with her.
Please help me I want some duwa, in which her mom dad will automatically like me.
please please please do some thing batter
Ahtahsham
Ahtasham, read the answers already given on this post, especially Stacy's comment.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor