Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Dua to meet the person you want to marry?

internet relationship

I am a Muslim girl. I was a Muslim before but only by name, but alhamdulilah I have been guided to the right path. I am 17 years old.

I fell in love with a guy online, he loves me too and we both would like to spend the rest of our lives together. It has been two years now since we have been together. Before I met him, I didn't really read namaz or wear a hijab, but after meeting him, I changed into a better person. Both of us put in a lot of effort to please Allah everyday as much as we can so Allah can be happy with us.

We talk on Skype only and have not met but would like to do so. He has told his family about me and they seem to be happy. However, I have not yet told my family as I feel I'm too young and will tell them at the right time.

The problem is I am in the UK and he is from a different country, which is making it difficult to meet. Both of us are eager to meet and want to meet the halal way, which will be if he comes to my house asking for my hand. But this can only be done if he manages to come to the UK and once my family has accepted inshallah.

Now what I really want know is if there is a dua which both of us can read with Allah's permission for us to meet. So he can come to the UK, so there is no distance between us and to make it easier for my parents to accept him.

I would highly appreciate it.

Jazakhallah Khair

- Nabeela

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29 Responses »

  1. Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

    Before I begin let me tell you I have the sincerest of intentions while giving you this advice and Im not very good with words so please forgive me if I come off too direct.

    Sister nabeela I do not know of any such dua but I just wanted to briefly share with my story of how I met this girl I wanted to marry, online.

    I have only about 2 female friends on FB and I pretty much did everything to keep myself safe from all fitnah.
    But one day the admin of an Islamic group I was a part of messaged me privately inquiring about magic and jinns.

    I gave her a direct answer and didn't go off the topic.


    We used to whats app eachother. I hadn't seen her nor heard her voice. BUt her religiousness impressed me a lot. So I proposed one fine evening .

    She asked when will u talk to ur parents ? I said tomorrow. And I did.
    Mom was happy to hear about her. Then I decided to meet her brother. He was impressed . And the news reached her mom.

    Both of us were very happy. She actually began selecting dresses for the wedding and we planned on where we would live together and where we would travel. Everything was awesome.


    When I met my mother , in India , she told me "I only reacted that way because I was afraid you'd kill yourself if I told you I was unhappy"

    And She rejected the girl because she was an year older to me and because she was a Pakistani.

    I was devastated . She was devastated when I told her. She couldn't stop crying for hours ....days. I told her I was sorry to make her feel that way.

    I did tell her before all of this began to keep her heart safe...Not get carried away...But shaitaan came and led us both astray.

    So THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS ......... Keep your heart safe...I understand this boy was the reason you're on deen today and its wonderful that both of you want to get married to each other .

    BUT if you want Allah's blessings then keep it strictly halaal by not interacting much. And if the Boy is mature and ready He will approach your parents . Until then you must protect your purity for your fathers sake who sacrificed so much to raise you up.

    IN CASE it doesn't work out ...You WILL BE hurt ....YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH a lot of avoid that from happening you need to control your over whelming love you feel towards this boy. Wait ...have patience .....Allah will join you together if its in your taqdeer and when the right time comes.

    Ukhti keep your heart safe.



    • Dear Brother,

      I feel sorry for you but i feel more for that girl.
      Hope you have learnt lesson from it.

      Your Sister

    • salam brothersiddique,

      take everthing i say now with a pinch of salt. I am saying this to you only as a big sister.

      you should have gone ahead and married this girl as there was no valid reason from your mother to dislike her. very typical backward thinking of many of muslim parents ( let be asians or arabics) .

      .But shaitaan came and led us both astray.

      this isnt shaitan, this our own cowardness to stand for the right. it is not shaitan misguiding us ,its our own prejudice against different races.

      this mind set will never change if people like you ( new generation practicing muslims ) will continue to give in to the old generation racist attitude.

      dont blame everything on taqdeer- its the easiest way out of a situation what one does not want to stand up for what is the right thing to do. its like you dont prepare for exam and you dont sit for exam and when you fail exan you say it was my taqdeer.

      if there is still a chance - then be a muslim and live upto your word and marry this girl ( ofcourse only if she still trust you) . your mom will come round it soon.

      if you think you are such a mothers obedient boy then go and live with her and serve her so that you listen to her everyday not just when it come to breaking someones heart.

      after all of this anger i have expressed on your story i do appreciate that you shared this story with the girl who has posted this question to protect her .

      PS : next time when you think about marriage - tell your mom to select a girl like you would select an animal of a certain breed for qurbani and just say yes to what she has selected as what would appeal you ofcourse does not matter to her and certainly doesnot matter to you. many practicing muslim men have disapointed muslim girls for reasons like yours. you are just another one to that flock.

      • Haha..sister 'Friend' i hope no one has broken your heart 😛

      • Wow Sister, Mashallah ! You are so right. It is up to OUR generation to change this Jahiliyah of tribalism and racism. I am going through the same situation, my parents are forcing me to divorce my husband because he is a convert and not Arab. They have ruined my happiness and my marriage, Astaghfiruallah . All I can tell my Muslim brothers and sisters is to follow the Quran and the Hadith, parents will always be your parents so treat them with respect and love but don't let them control who you marry if they are religious and of good character. It saddens me to hear so many people are going through this dilemma. It isn't right and us as Muslims NEED to stop this nonsense.

        This needs to be spoken about in the Mosques and among families and friends. The Prophet (SAW) last sermon included him speaking about racism and no Arab is superior than a non- Arab, or a white and a black ! How can we as Muslims ignore that important part; it almost brings me to tears thinking how the Ummah can just forget about that. The world is separated enough, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let's bring back our Muslim Ummah to be united as ONE, regardless of color, culture, age or social status .

    • Thank you, that has opened my eyes

  2. Dear Sister

    May you feel that he is the 'one' for you but remember only Allah(Swt) knows what is good or best for us. So do Duas NOT for him but for a righteous practicing Muslim husband.

    further you are pretty young at this juncture so do not get into it too much as may you find him genuine but such online/distant relationship can be far away from reality, if you get too much into it, it can not only make you do haram things (like how you are longing to meet him, satan plays with people in such situation) without realizing but you can put your heart and feelings in danger, if he come out fake or if he step back or if your or his family do not accept this proposal. You know, people & feelings & circumstances change with time.

    So what you need to do at this point of time is to duas to Allah for good practicing Muslim husband. you must focus on your studies and improving yourself as a Muslim. Do not pin your hopes on this man only as who knows what will happen tomorrow.

    Be patient and leave everything on Allah(swt). Insha-allah after some time, when you are done with your education and will be more mature with age, then you can consider marrying him. By the time, he will also be settled.

    Then if you still feel like to marry him, then it will be an appropriate time to approach your parents for it but at this jucture, its certainly not wise and getting youself attached to him too much can put you in danger in many ways.

    Patience is the need of the hour.

    Your Sister

  3. PS-
    You call this man the reason you're improving yourself as Muslim but remember that may he has inspired towards our deen but ultimately its you who is doing it, you must give credit to yourself too and more than him. i am saying this based on my personal experience wherein i was also influenced by some Muslim man and started practicing but later when i found out his double standards or say true face, it affected my efforts of practicing, for some time, i got disconnected with my practice because like you, i too had thought of him reason for my improving as Muslim. i dont want you to have any such pain.

    you can also learn from the story of this brother Siddique.

    Try to be a good practicing Muslim, focus on present goals ( i.e studies, job, serving parents etc) and keep yourself away from chatting and in such internet activities, not just they are haram as per Islam but innocent and genuine people go astray and become victim of broken heart and of Satan, of course. Save yourself.

  4. AsSalaamu Alaikum Sister Nabeela,

    I agree with this statement:

    Keep your heart safe

    In addition to what has been said above by Brother Siddique, I think you should consider informing your parents about this matter at this very moment, as they are there only to protect you and your rights. You say you want to inform them at the right time, which also means you shouldn’t be talking to any man until the right time comes, right?! But since you have started talking to a man, it also makes sense to inform your parent about it. Your parents are matured than you are, and can understand what is really happening in the world better than you will do. If you tell them now, they will have enough time to look into the matter for you carefully, in a way that will best suite you in the light of Islam. You don’t have to wait to inform them later. What if they rejected the idea in the end while your heart has already gone too far with the brother???That will break your heart and hurt you a lot. You are a young Muslimah with a soft heart, so keep your precious heart safe, and don’t allow it to get too emotional in things that you haven’t yet witnessed their reality.

    Also, at the same time as you inform your parents about the matter, you should start praying Salaatul Istikharah. The Salaatul Istikhara, is a prayer/Du’a for seeking guidance of Allah in anything you want to do in life. You may do it once or more frequently until Allah makes it clear to you in your heart that the idea is good or bad for you. May Allah decree for you what is best!


    First pray Two Cycles (raka') of ritual Prayer (nafil) such that, in the first raka' after Surah Fatiha (Allhamd…) recite Surah al-Kafirun (Quran chapter 109) and in the second raka' after Fatiha (Allhamd…) recite Surah al-Ikhlas (Quran chapter 112).

    After finishing prayer recite the following (supplication/dua'):

    "O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action – the marriage between me and this brother…..-- (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

  5. My dear which country is he from?make sure ur not being used,also how do u live eachother when u havent even seen eachother on fb skype photo? Just be aware not to be used coz u live in uk,but if u love eachother hearts personalitys characters etc then that seems

  6. Dear Nabeela

    be VERY careful, you are only 17 and not even met this need someone more mature than you to look into this and better do it NOW.

    there should be someone from your family investigating this online person authenticity.

    even poepel who have met and families have met still they get fooled and heart broken.


    iam a lot older than still i cant tell if a man is genuine or not , i would still run in pass through someone who is not emotional attached to this situation.

    • you are 17-too young- alram bells
      the boy in another country- alarm bells.
      he doesnt know how and when he will will come here- alarm bells.
      his family knows- thats what he says- alarm bells.
      your family doesnot know- alarm bells.

      WAKE up . too many alram bells .


      little sis, dont allow yourself to be fooled.

      • I know, there are so many negative things here. I know that his family knows because i have spoken to his family. Thank you. I appreciate

  7. Sister Nabeela,

    Love at 17 haan :P. MashaAllah you have grown in deen and can think of Marriage. But sister i would say take a little extra time to commit yourself to be a life partner. Right now focus more on deen, education and etc. You have your whole life to spend with your spouse, but thinking of someone at this age is not good. Enjoy your time with you family and friends. Its the right time to build your connection with your Rab, all other things will come along. You might have found the geniune guy over the net but i would personally suggest you not to make any decision or inclination before you and your family see him in person.

    If you really think you should get married then talk to your parents first and then move on.

    • Brother,

      I know i am young, i also think that i should concentrate more on education and pleasing Allah but then what do i do..? Do i ignore him..? How do i keep away from him..? and to be really honest, i am scared of what my parents reaction will be. Thank you. I appreciate

      • Sister Nabeela,

        Yes, you must avoid him. I know initially for a week or two it will be tough for you to stabilize but spend these two weeks doing something for your family or friends or some new activity at school or sports. Try to see if your local masjid is providing some course or lecture so you can keep yourself busy. Its not that tough, sacrificng yourself for good will always ends up with ease and you are doing this only to keep your Lord happy and your parents.

        If you are scared of discussing this topic with your parents then share it with your elder sibling if they are mature and can understand you. Or take a step and talk to your mother directly coz mothers cab keep everything confidential and respond to you with discussing it with your father. Until and unless you get a response from your parents don't think of talking to this person either on skype or any app from your smart phone. Disable all of your apps which with which he might communicate you. Remember you are not ignoring him but you are taking the right step and if it works Alhamdulillah otherwise fi amanillah :P. Don't get emotional and be like a mu'mina and take this brave step. Remember you have to be like Fatima and Ayesha.

        Remember us in your prayers.


  8. Assalaamualaikam

    If you are wanting to consider marriage to this boy, then the first thing that needs to happen is you need to discuss the matter with your parents; they are your guardians and the people who are most likely to want what is best for you. There are a few issues that immediately strike me as ones which they would want to discuss with you, so it might be an idea to think about them in advance:-
    - At 17 years old, have you considered what to do with your education or employment prospects? Would this boy support you in your goals?
    - If you have met on the internet, have your interactions with him been in accordance with Islamic guidance? That is, no private correspondence, ensuring your awrahs are covered, discussions about acceptable and relevant topics only? If the two of you have been interacting in an intimate way, then this would raise concerns about his character, so it would be important to be sure that your interactions have been appropriate.
    - How did you both come into contact?
    - How can you be sure he is the person he claims to be? People can pretend to be things that they aren't, and it's harder to realise this if you only know someone online - remember that the picture you have of this boy may not be who he really is in real life.
    - What would the two of you do after marriage? If this boy has the emotional and practical resources to be married, what is preventing him from coming to your country to meet you and your family in order to decide if marriage is what you both want? Where would you both live?

    Marriage is a big commitment, so it's important to think about all the issues surrounding it, so that you're as prepared as possible. Your parents may have a lot of questions, and may be quite worried that you have had a 2 year long online contact with a non-mahram male, but ultimately they will want what is best for you and have your wellbeing as a priority inshaAllah.

    One thing to be aware of is that sometimes people can pretend that they want a halal relationship, while using haraam means to obtain their goals - some people target young women or women who they perceive as being vulnerable, and use them to obtain citizenship, finances, physical pleasure, criminal activities... I'm not saying that this boy is doing that, and we should always try to give others the benefit of the doubt, but when getting to know someone for the purposes of considering marriage, it's important to be aware of this (one of the reasons why a wali is so important is that they can help avoid these situations).

    My personal approach to this boy would be to say that, especially after 2 years of online contact, he should either step up and make it halal, or break off contact - and refrain from contact yourself, in accordance with Allah's guidance.

    May Allah guide you to what is best for you in this life and the next, and protect you from that which would be harmful to you.

    Midnightmoon editor

  9. dear sister nabeela
    first ask yourself that you realy love him full of your heart and u feel that he will definitely come to your long life, and you think that he is the person send by allah to you . . ask this question to yourself . . if it say yes then you make your self confident and do namaz daily 5 times and ask your valuable duas. . . allah never leave you alone he is the one make this world your parents your loving one and you also . .so trust him ask your duas with tears . . .


  10. assalamualikum sis well subhan allah my name is Nabila as well am 19 year old and the guy that i wanted to marry is 28 so we are older enough to take our decision but Allah the only one who can decide cuz that guy is so far away from me he live in a country and am in an other we are sooooo far but with iman and our raith we were keep in touch and close cuz we say taht the distance is nothing our love is stronger we fall in love at each other deeply more than what can u think..... but at the end we gt to knw that we cant be togethr cuz of the situation Money. family and all hmmmmmm its really upset us and make us feel down so we left everyhting by God hand the only thing wana tell u make sure of his love and who he is in the reallity an make sure that financilally and familly can be togethr take off all pbm and take them by consideration first ok may god end ur love by marriage and may god help me as well please make Dua for me as well thanks...

  11. Assalam walekum guys I also want to ask smthng frm uu all I love a guy he loved me too I know bt now his parents are not allowing us to get married jst bcoz I m a modern girl who wears dresses and jeans top I do wear that bt when m at work I wrk in an event and modelling agency so I cannot wear hijab wen m at work his mother saw my those dresses pics and rejected me we both are very upset and dont know what to do plz help me and give me sm guidence

  12. Salam I'm an engaged girl. I like to meet my future hubby. And he too like to meet me. Please give me a dua for that.Jazakallah

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