Islamic marriage advice and family advice

ED and Other Marriage Issues

I am in early 30s. Married more than a year. From start of marriage i am suffering from ED, it is not permanent issue. it occurs in one month and disappear in other month. My medical reports are normal .Doctors have said i need to avoid stress and do exercise. I am not emotionally strong i have few guilt related to past sins, unfulfilled responsibilities which keep me hitting inside. Now this issue is making me more stress. Moreover i have suffered from anxiety of getting any chronic disease like cancer.

My wife is supportive but she has also become negative and doubting myself. We often fight on other issues. Frustration and anger is building up. I have asked her and she also believe that we should offer prayers regularly, do azakaar, recite Quran and try to remain calm and strong to resolve this issue. And try maximum remedies and methods.

I cant focus on ED issue until i have peace of mind from other non issues. Life is so messed up.

Dr asked me to take Viagra if i want to. but i dont want to rely on such medicine in this age. I want to recover through diet and will power. I have to bear wife disobedience on certain issues and spend lavishly , due to ED issue (to compensate her). But i don't know how long things will remain same.

My wife says house work is not her responsibility. Her responsibility is to come to bed when asked and give birth and take care of kids. She sometimes take too much tension, and give stress to me. Keep thinking about things which are past or may not even happen in future.

I need your kind comments on this situation. How to cope with it. How to perform other life duties remaining strong in presence of ED random issue.


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2 Responses »

  1. You don't need medication, you'll probably benefit more from seeking help for dealing with your stress and anxiety. Have you talked to a therapist? Do you talk to your wife about your stress and anxiety? If she's supportive of you, I really think it'd help your marriage to be honest with her about how stressed you feel, your guilt, anxiety, etc.

  2. In reality your wife is 100% correct regarding doing housework. Most Muslims do not realize that the wife primary duty is provide sexual companionship for her husband. It seems the matter of housework in your home should have been thoroughly discussed BEFORE you got married. However, most Muslim women who do not work outside of the home have little or no problems in basic maintenance of their household. You might want to consider talking again with your wife so that housekeeping can possibly be shared. You did not mention if you are a neat or sloppy person. If you are not a tidy person, don't expect your wife to clean up after you. That is a serious turn-off to any woman.

    You might want to explore ways to relax and destress. Some people have success with exercise, yoga, change in diet (no fast food, sugars, etc.) and making sure you get required sleep. A low dose prescription for ED might help although you said you did not want to consider it. In terms of diet, some foods do help men with their sexuality. Native Americans always ate pumpkin seeds. Salmon, oats and walnuts also benefit men. There are articles focusing on good blow flow which is related to avoiding ED. However, I believe stress and the problems in your marriage contribute most. Do not hesitate to have a few visits with a good therapist. That can help immensely.

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