Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Everyone hates me, and I’ve lost faith in Allah

Self pity quote by Helen Keller

"Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world." - Helen Keller

My life has been nothing but disaster. I have always loved Allah, always turned to him in prayer, but now I feel it's just a waste. My mother clearly told me that everyone hates me and that I've messed everyone's life.

I never dated or did anything wrong, yet my older sister did all those things and everyone likes her and approves of everything she does.

My mother even told my cousin that she loves my older sister the most out of everyone in the family, and hates me. She said to me that at least my sister and her future husband love each other, but you and your husband don't have any kind of happiness, which isn't true. I love my husband with all my heart and I understand his frustrations so I've been very supportive to him, but I don't want him to think less of himself.

Now, however, I'm starting to think less of myself. I've suffered all my life. I have severe vaginismus and I probably won't ever have kids. I have no way to support myself and me and my husband cannot get our own place. Everyone hates me and every Muslim I've encountered never liked me, so I guess I'm the one who is messed up.

I will always suffer in this life, so why bother reaching out to Allah? Why bother even trying to be a moral person? I think when you stop all of that, things start to happen. Maybe if I had done all the things my sister did, like dating and leaving my parents' house before marriage and living on my own, everyone would like me and I'd get far in life. Staying and helping my parents has gotten me nowhere. My mom really doesn't care what I've done for her and clearly told me she doesn't care about me at all. So, why bother being good if people hate you?

When you believe in Islam, your life goes downhill. You get no respect from anyone, not even your own parents or anything. Everyone accuses you of jealously all the time. I see so many people successful, and they don't even believe in Allah or care much for religion or anything. They have so many friends because they are doing things against Islam. So, why bother with all of this?

I will never get what I want with all of these mental problems I have. I might as well just give up on Islam or just shoot myself in the head and burn in hell forever because no matter what I do, I will always be hated by everyone and especially from Allah, if He even exists. A life where I had to be put on anti-psychotic medications and hospitalized so much, and gained 100 lbs. and looking ugly and miserable, isn't a life at all. If someone just ended my life now, I wouldn't be afraid.

I will never get what I want... ever. I have ate healthy and exercised to lose all this weight, and nothing. I have severe vaginismus which means no kids in this life. So, why even bother trying to pray and everything when Allah has already written my life to be a disaster? Why doesn't He just end my misery and take me out of here and burn me in hell where I belong if He hates me so much to begin with?

He loves all those people who turn away from Him and don't wear modest clothes and have pre-marital sex and everything, but when you follow what He wants (if that's what He wants), you suffer? It's all a BIG joke.  I will never have a happy life and people will always hate me, so I guess that's just how it is and no amount of praying and believing will change that.

If Allah really did love me, He would answer my prayers, but if not, then He'd just end up life so I wouldn't have to cry anymore and suffer with all of these problems. I am ALREADY in Hell and if Allah puts me in Hell after death, I wouldn't object because my whole existence has already been Hell so I'm prepared for the bigger Hell. So, just put me there forever and stop torturing me like this.

Every time I've reached out for help, I've been turned away or let down. No one likes me and that will always be the case, even my own family, so forget Islam and everything else. Just burn me in Hell where I belong and put an end to my already miserable existence.

- islamicgirl28

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214 Responses »

  1. He used me for citizenship.

  2. He apologized. I think he has anger issues like me. I hope he will change. He needs to stop mistreating me and calling me names. I want to make this marriage work. I hope he is willing to work with me to live a happy life together. He said he loves me, but can’t understand why I am always tired. I think we need to sort out our anger issues and try to be good with each other. He is my life partner and we need to work together to have a wonderful life.

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