Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Extreme depression and feeling of suicide


Assalam o Alaikum,

I am 20 years old in my last year of graduation. I am suffering from depression it's been more than 2 years now and it's getting worse now. I don't know much about black magic and I don't know if it is a sign of black magic plz let me know or just a mental disorder. Sometimes, I see reptiles and insects in my dream after me and few days back I saw elephants running after me. My dreams disturb me a lot. My health is degrading continuously. I suppose it's because I can't handle pressures. Even I have lost my interest in studies and feel upset always. My relatives always show pity on me for being short in height and they often make jokes about it. I have lost my confidence in walking in public. I want to feel happy ALLAH has blessed me with other qualities but perhaps my demerits are more visible. Plz advice some dua so that I can stay the rest of my life.


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8 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,

    I have to really disagree with you--you are handling pressures and even ridicule--whereas your relatives who make fun of you, can't handle what Allah swt has bestowed upon them and others. Indeed, very very sad.

    Please do not give any person, regardless of relationship to you, that much power over you that they can make you feel this way. Take that power away from them but turning your love and attention towards Allah swt. Allah swt made you the way that you are by His own decision and that is the way that He perfected you. Anyone that has a problem with that is facing a problem within themselves and within their own character. People who go around making fun of others do that because it makes them feel better and gives them a sense of power. Please read up on the psychology of why anyone would do such a pathetic thing--and stop internalizing flaws in their characters as they have work to do, not you dear Sister.

    As for your school, not everyone achieves the same thing as everyone else. If you are having troubling in your studies, there should be some kind of help on your campus to guide you to some help. Maybe you could take one less class and improve your marks in the others and go at a pace which will make you successful. Stop being so hard on yourself. If you finish your schooling when you are 24 instead of 22 or 40, you really won't care what your age was exactly when you finished. You do what you can do and inn shaa Allah, you will experience success. By wanting it all right away and all at once, you risk feeling overwhelmed and not achieving any goal so break the goal down into smaller bits and make each smaller bit happen. You can do it, don't doubt yourself.

    As for black magic--this doesn't sound like that at all...and your dreams are probably just a reflection of your anxiety resulting from the negativity in your family.

    Avoid people who put you down.
    When making an opinion of yourself, focus your concerns on what Allah swt would want from you.
    For your life goals, be reasonable and fair to yourself.
    Any voice that puts you down in your mind must be battled with a voice of reason and love--love yourself and be fair to yourself.
    You made it this far in your studies because you are capable, don't forget that--you obviously have skills--rather than focusing on what you can't do, focus on the things that you are amazing at and develop those further.
    Seek Allah swt's guidance, pray Isthikhara, and never let anyone put you down.
    Speak to a counsellor about your feelings if they continue--sometimes we need an objective person to listen to our worries so that we can put our concerns on the table and deal with them.

    May Allah swt ease your pain and grant you success in your school and personal life, Ameen.

  2. dear sister you should be grateful that you are a short height girl, short height girls look younger as compared to long height girls, you will see this in the coming years. its a benefit.
    talk to them that it hurts you, tell them Allah has made you this way
    you should be confident, there is no relation between height and confidence, you have to believe in your capabilities.i m a short height girl but i dont mind people saying me sometimes they use words that hurt me but i try to look better. there is a beautiful quote about it "criticism should be taken seriously but not personally". dont take it personally try to improve.check your clothes that you wear. wear longer shirts if you wear shawlar kameez. wear short shirts in western clothing. wear flat jeans, it will make you look normal but not shorter. wear dark colors and mono theme in clothing.
    in the end its all about capabilities not height. height has to nothing with the fate, intelligence ,success or beauty

  3. My observation:

    She is the shortest in her family! She is very short indeed. Everyone else is conversely very tall and confident. But she is the most confident of them all, she is the most respected, most socially intelligent, and her courage...! she has a will-power that is unbelievable. This woman is in her late 40, early 50s and has battled in wars! (For real though)

    She is not the best looking woman in her family or by standard judgement, but has got the best/most perfect husband *especially in terms of super good looks believe it or not (his son does modeling and he still looks better than him even at age 60), also the man is all; muslim, success, stature/looks, reputation, famous, noble lineage ) out of any married woman I know she has scored the best!

    She has this burning desire for life and living! She is so so unbeatable, MashaAllah!

    You will be like this woman. Now listen to me.

    I have shown people pictures of this lady to people they acknowledge politely oh wow, clear face, without much interest.

    Then they have met her! She inspires love, care and love for life, then those people come to me so radiant and compliment me ' oh wow your .... is so cool, lovely, she is so nice etc!'.

    Everyone that meets her feels super nice. But why?!!

    --Why is this woman like that?!!

    There are many subtle ways and each carry plenty reinforcements. Let's take one exampl, complimenting people and nurturing. Ok so-

    By making people feel good about themselves
    she inspires them to be happy and loving life
    thus she demonstrates desire for life
    Because she distributed this feeling and desire demonstrates will power.
    And since, Will-power is the theme of strength.
    >>People like strength, it makes people feel secure
    AND People love security more than anything
    Then you become an object of desire

    Making people feel good about themselves will hide all your imperfections from them

    These social aspects of your personality will make YOU the trend! Girls will want to be short because you're short! Because you're cool!

    Learn how to make people feel good about themselves, is what this woman does.

    It is about a burning desire for life that makes you get what you want and influence people! Not looks!

    Advise doesn't do much unless you mix with people who have this nature, so you can feel their energy and learn from them.

    I have travelled and met alot of different people. But one thing I find consistently... But without bias, and I am not from the holy lands but people I have met that portray this consistently do tend to be from the holy land and surrounding geography.

    And it makes sense because we read in SURAT ISRA (chapter children of isreal or nightly ascension) Allah has put blessing in the holy land of Jerusalem and surrounding geography, eg. the levant. Likewise its People have a blessed nature and they tend to be easy going, of peaceful presence, sociable and calm nature. Not all are like this, the majority I've met are, try mixing with these sorts of personalities wherever they may be from, try a local masjid/college society.
    Observe this valuable nature/mood/behaviour and see where it comes from.

    I have met girls from the levant and Jerusalem that are very very short, around 5 1". But they are so so happy! They have nothing.

    The world is wide, broad, spacious for me and I will have my space.
    Is the motto they live their lives!

  4. "Oh Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men." Amen.

    Sister, what make you so sad that you cannot stand up on your own again. There are tons of powerful duas but noone can cure you if YOU ALLOW all those negative comments and superstitious belief - black magic get into you.
    Get out your door, take a deep breath and watch the amazing creation in this earth. Eat well, sleep well and ignore those meaningless dreams. Don't bother to try to make sense out of it as they have no meaning. Don't crowd your thoughts with all those superstitious rituals and belief, those are shirks. All you need is to keep your salat, try let go your worries and give it to our All Mighty. No one can demeaning you. Get yourself back to study, seek help from your school if you cannot catch up.

    The best dua is from your heart, there is no magic spell. The above one is one of my favorite, it helps me to verbalize my worries, it lifts up my spirit and take away tons of my worry. Inshallah, you will get better.

  5. you werent put on this world for happiness you were put here to worship allah and leave when your time is up , i suffer from a sickness that everyday causes me tons of pain , so what i do is accept that i will suffer for how ever longer im alive for and try to keep busy by praying and working while waiting for death everyday. if you can develop the same mentality as me nothing will bother you especially something like your height.

    • Dear Darknigh,
      There is nothing wrong to seek happiness as long as it is within the limit of Islam. One does not need to wear a solemn face all the time in the name of religion. We are not angles to make to worship Him day and night. The earth is also made for believers to enjoy. Have a coffee with a truthful friend, enjoy a good meal, a nice hike, or even a good movie. It is OK to be happy. I pray Allah will ease off your pain and give you joy in your heart.

  6. sister you need to go an see a psychologist and psychiatrist. I have been also suffering from depression for past two years like you. Talk thearpy and medication should help.

  7. You simply have no idea whatsoever of how most men like short girls, where I'm from we go mad for them. Hopefully that makes you feel better. W Salam

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