Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Failed at everything, out of ideas

Out of ideas

I never had a peaceful family.
My parents used to fight specially when it's the time for my exams.
Parents got divorced when I was 14.
Kept staying with different relatives at different times. Sometimes here and sometimes there.
Lost my siblings because of the divorce of my parents.

Now am 30.
Got married 8months ago.
My wife lost her Mother 5months ago. (After 3months of our marriage)
My wife continuously kept cursing me that it's me who came and her mother died.
She blames me for giving me company and that's why she couldn't be with her mom. Although I always told her to stay with her mom but she would want to stay with me.
We completed our nikaah so that we dont transgress. She stays at her home with her family.
Her mother died all of a sudden she couldn't guess she would die. After all the blames and marrital fights lost hope of having a healthy marrital life with my wife but always wanted to have the greatest family. Since I have always expected that I would be a better father and a better husband. Never had peace in my parent's home and now no chance of having any peace with my spouse broke my passion.

Lost my job 2months ago.
Gave money to my mother which I was left with. so that she could maintain the household for at least another 2months. 2months passed.
Now I do not have a job and do not have money to feed my family.

I started helping my father with his business started a new supporting business with his carrying business with a very small amount of money my father had. But one party kept the goods but not paying me back. So now I am completely broke.

My friends my wife who trusted me that I have a good business sense and wanted to invest business now got demotivated.
I don't have an investor.

We don't even have money left to buy some food anymore. And this is the month of Ramadan.

In Bangladesh daily needed products are too expensive and an employee earns very less. If someone needs to survive he must be dishonest at his work and find out of something haram to fullfil his needs.
I have contributed my 12years in sales unwillingly. (I am not the person who likes to stay under someone but never the situation was in favour so that I could develop a skill or two to create a track) And at this age I see that I cannot develop a skill now. Cause it's too late. To fullfil my responsibilities I need to earn at least 4times what I used to earn. And haram income is not in my blood. So there is no hope left for me now.

Failed to take care of my father
Failed my to take care of my mother
Failed to take care of my wife
Now Failed myself
No hope no more desires.

I wanted to commit suicide but it's fire.
All the doors have been shut down.
I don't know what to do.
Even asking for death due to poverty is prohibited.

I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to live anymore.
Failure Frustration depression surrounded me.

Nowhere to go even the doors to death is prohibited.

I want to sleep.
I want to rest for eternity.
Don't wanna wake up anymore.

- Zafree

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6 Responses »

  1. Hi Zafree. I'm sorry to hear for all your losses. This may be a test from Allah and there may be better things to come later in life or in the life hearafter so don't lose hope

    Can I ask whereabouts in Bangladesh your from and can you not get hold of any local charitable organisation there.? Also if you would like to communicate via my email below I'm able to provide some support through there if you need any.

  2. i am sorry to hear for all your losses as brother abdul say it us test from Allah,may be it is test from ALLAH and you should pass through this test. you are a responsible person you are good son you are good husband and you want earn through halaal resources it us a good thing and every Muslim should be avoid haraam resources and even you did not think about haraam earn .may ALLAH ease to your life ameen.this is month of Ramadan and first ten days of Ramadan is mercy do begging mercy to ALLAH and read Drood Sharif and istaghfar.

  3. salam alakum brother Zafree, Subhanallah it truly is all a test, I'd advise you to go to the mosque read more Quran and keep tigri and to stand up as a guide and become a leader for your people in this trial. Also perpetually keep saying allhamduliallah & astagfiriallah, Allah loves those who seek him out and since it's Ramadan brother you should see it as a positive time and as a chance to reform and do better with Allah and not as a time of struggle. Lastly remember that the ultimate failure lies in failing Allah so fear him and be grateful for he holds everything. You've inspired me brother Zafree may Allah reward you, I'll keep you in my dua's. Ramadan Mubarak to all!!

  4. Salam..bro....solution easy as 123..Listen and learn and must learn basic islamic fundamentals ..Without this solid base no human being can live or have the inner peace .Quran and hadith support this...My advice is go 4 months min in tabligh jamaat..This work Allah has excepted it..Consider it as moving madressah.....My friend I am old revert...I have studied here and there...married a scholar. ..Take my professional advice...Do not let Satan play with your head because he hates this effort...because you are going to learn how to be a invitor an ambassador. .you will learn to subdue your desires and etiquette's of everything proper salah and intention and most of all the company of learned...Do not hesitate Gooo.Allah is calling you.

  5. Zafree, you sound like a very honest good man. People who want to live a honest way of life, will feel like this life is a prison. You are living in a corrupted country with deceitful people all around you. Be thankful that you have Allah who is the ultimate truth and to who we return. Allah test those who he loves the most. In this special month of Ramadan, beg and plead to Allah to shower you with his mercy. He can make impossible - possible. InshAllah, everything will be fine (shab thik hobey bahi). I'll pray for you. Don't call yourself a failure/loser in Allah's eyes you are the highest. Be strong. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

  6. My Brother, think about this: what would be the point of this world if you were not tested. The only reason for this world is so Allah SWT can test us and we can show Him our sabr and tawwakul so that He can raise our ranks in the akhirah. Our beloved Prophet SAW was tested to an unimaginable point, and he SAW was the best of creation. None of these things that have happened to you are your fault, they are clearly tests from Allah. You are an incredibly lucky man that Allah has chosen you out of all the people in the world to give this difficulty. He wants to raise YOUR ranks and grant YOU His rewards in the akhirah. You've survived all this time and your faith in Allah SWT is still there, brother I believe in you - you can do this a little longer. One day you will die, prepare for that day with Ibadah and good deeds - make it a beautiful day. This world is not even a bit as good as the treasures of the akhirah. And pray to Allah, verily with hardship comes ease - yours may be right around the corner.

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