Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Falling for a married man

I worked for a married man months ago, and we got pretty close and we fell Inlove. Before the love it was just a innocent crush we were both attracted but kept our distances. We got closer as we started communicating and sharing our problems. He started telling me about his wife whom he married because she is extremely rich because she enherrited all her dead husbands money. He told me he's stressed because he feels like he's living a lie, he married for the wrong reasons and he wants a divorce. As a friend I tried to give my best advice and say to work on it and find little things he may like about her and he'll fall in love with her. He kept saying he doesn't have any interest to even try, he smoked heavily and got high every 20 minutes. We started becoming even closer realizing we have much in common and he started telling me he loves me, I was shocked because he's married, and I felt the same way but I couldn't say it back I felt guilty. One our friends decided we should all go out for drinks and we did, we got a little drunk and kissed, we got use to the kissing and I would go home and cry every night because I felt guilty, even though we never had sex because I am afraid to do so. I told him many times I don't want anything to do with him because I feel bad, he then tells me that he won't leave me alone because he is getting divorced. I became extremely paranoid from the drinking so I decided to stop because I felt far from Allah and I need allahs guidance in what's going on. He decided to copy me and stop drinking and stop smoking and started praying. Then someone told his wife that he was talking to another woman and she threw a fit and he told her everything and he moved out, it's been 2 months since he moved out. He told me he want a to file for divorce but he got a second job to save up money to afford rent at his new apartment. He's looking for a good lawyer to fight for joint custody of his daughter. I decided that I need to give him space to think clearly because I know I made a mistake, but I do love him and I want him to think carefully because I don't want his wife to get hurt. I haven't seen him since he moved out, and when we speak I tell him that he should give his marriage another chance for the sake of his child. He refuses to try because he told me he never loved her and he can't be happy with her because she doesn't even treat him with respect of a husband or a father, she shuts him out from any family decisions. Because she is 20 years older with more power money and experience. As of now he is telling me he isn't going back and he's going to fight for custody and then he wants to speak to my father and ask for my hand. I do love him a lot, but I am honestly very afraid that Allah will punish me. I'm not sure what to do and I keep praying astakhara but I'm not getting any dreams or signs.


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7 Responses »

  1. Don't be a home wrecker and if he is making you further away from Allah then he's not right for you. Just leave it to Allah and wait

  2. This man sounds like he makes too many impulsive decisions that get him into strife and this is yet another one and he is dragging you into it. Have patience and wait.

  3. if you think about her wife who is 20 years older than him and if he is 30 she is 50 or if he is 40 she is 60. where she would go after divorce.

    you are mentioning the age just because you think its right she is much older than him but thats nt the case out Prophet P.B.U.H were 15 years younger than her wife and it was a successful marriage.

    think about a man who married the woman for wealth to satisfy his own self dont you think he has crossed all the limits of selfishness he has wealth and now he wants love . he is nt a man on his own
    after getting love what else he would want nobody knows! in the future he would leave you and again marry some rich woman because of poor financial times wouldn't it be justice to you for ruining somebody's matrimonial life if he is unhappy its his headache not yours. you should marry a single man.

    he is nt a man of character he has left all things for temporary and after marriage he will start doing all the things you mentioned love can change a person for a short time love cannot change a person's past hobbies. let skip that

    its good that you feel guilty. you're a good girl you should feel guilty coz your heart is telling you thats its wrong its a good sign please think and pray to Allah for his help and ask forgiveness .

  4. Asalam Alekum

    You are both wrong in this position.

    Like the person said above me... Don't be a home wrecker.

    Leave him alone.. and don't be friends with non- mahrams.

    The most purest love is.. when he/she loves someone without them knowing.
    Allah will certainly make marriage easy for that person.. because he/she is not following the steps of Shaytan.

  5. Please don't marry a married man I made this mistake and now repenting and it's eating me day and night.

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