Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want my family to agree on this marriage

I love one guy who has a status gap with my family, so my family does not agree. But the boy is really good, and I would like to marry him as we have known each other very long time. How Could I manage my family for this marriage? What does Islam Say about this situation?

I also did a few great sins in my life. I do feel very very bad. Now what is the proper way to do the repentance for my all sins?

-nawrin053


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5 Responses »

  1. for sins, God even told himself that he forgives all sins except associationism. if you recognize your sins you must regret having committed and never give back. You ask Allah for forgiveness and change your behavior. Changing companions, attendance ... could help you in the new situation.

    Concerning marriage, we must seek a mediator to plead your behalf with your parents. the mediator should be someone who is exemplary, respected by your families. In principle it should not be a problem.

    see you.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    When looking for a spouse, the things we should look for first and foremost are deen and character. Things such as cultural status, caste, skin colour, wealth... these aren't reasons to refuse a potential spouse who has demonstrable good deen and character. If your parents are refusing the proposal for un-Islamic reasons, it might help to speak with an imam at your mosque - he could then inshaAllah speak with your parents and attempt to resolve the issue.

    It is important to make sure your interactions with this man are within Islamic limits - so, no physical contact, no private communication, no flirting, observing hijab.... If you and he have transgressed these limits, it is important to repent for this and take steps to avoid it happening in the future.

    Regarding previous sins, it might help you to read the section on this site about tawbah - the information there might be helpful for you, inshaAllah. Remember that Allah is Most Merciful, and have faith in His mercy.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. I agree with what the others have said. Get someone Islamically knowledgeable to mediate. Issues like "status" - presumably meaning caste, or income level - have no bearing in Islam. The most important thing is the boy's character.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Assalamoalikum
    My marriage was almost fix...i was lve cum arrange..bt dnt knw suddenly what happen...the boys family said no...n m too mch in a depssion frm last 5 mnths...n dne many a time istekhara to..n always got a positive result...n that boy jst crid n said..i m selfless de to my family...my family had almost blackmail me...its a caste prblem also...so what should i doo...is any wazaif...n alhamdulillah the boy n myself r offering regular prayer our namaz frm very smaal age

  5. its sad to hear that, i'm in a similar situation, im wating until i finish my degree as im going into my third year at the moment but my family doesnt accept him because firstly they want me to marry a cousin that i have lived with a called a brother for the last 20 years, and also because he is a malik and i'm a different caste. i think the caste system is rubbish and that the parents greed and focus on izzat and society is disgusting. i have started praying for them to see and understand that love and happiness is better than what others think of them. but if you want to marry him, speak to him, tell make a plan to tell both your parents and if he is going to stand up for you, tell him to speak to them. im scared in telling them for the last time i want to marry him and to sort it out, but hes very strong minded and would come over in a heartbeat to tell my parents we are getting married. their reasons are not islamic and yes it is good to listen to parents, but when they dont care for your needs or wants but rather their status in society, it is hard to respect them.

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