Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Family drama won’t let me get married

worried man

I want to get married to this girl. She's everything I'm looking for in a girl. The problem is, my uncle was married to this girls cousin and now both families have major drama issues because the divorce went really really bad. My parents are not even letting me give this a chance, what should it do? Is it haram to disobey my parents because they are preventing me from moving forward due to stupid problems that I could care less about? I hold the highest regards for my parents, all my life my decisions revolved around them, and now that I want something for myself I can't go after it?

palimuslimready


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3 Responses »

  1. Brother, to get married to a person of your choice is really really not haraam. But you did n't mention what is happening at the girl's family side? Is she getting through the same condition because of her cousin? Are they willing to let the girl marry you easily?

    Before taking any decision, you must have to sincerely think about the causes of that divorce. l am saying so because if that divorce happened absolutely because of both of them rather than any one of them being the dominant reason, any issues from your uncle's in-laws side etc. As you also mentioned that those problems were stupid etc. but still think about them, how would you resolve if the same happens with you in future. If you are able to tackle everything and the problem right now is only your parents' concern, then you should marry her if she possesses the character of a good muslimah. But in this case, it would not be feasible to keep her with your family, at least in the beginning. Otherwise you would definitely face the same situation whether or not you try to maintain a balanced approach between your spouse and your parents, she is already labeled as "NO" by your family. It is advisable to live with her separately after marriage. If you cannot afford living with her leaving your parents alone for any reason, then it will be hard for you to prevent the bad things happened in future.

    Do perform Silaat-ul-Istikhara before taking any decision. May ALLAH make it easy for you.

  2. Make istikhara my brother make istikhara. and don't tell anybody your doing it, because there are some incident were parents will lie that some religious person made istikhara for the marriage. May Allah make it easy for you and your love ones amen. But your parents could be protecting from something. Make istikhara

  3. The problem is, my uncle was married to this girls cousin and now both families have major drama issues because the divorce went really really bad.

    You and your family has no control over your uncle. Tell your uncle "Girl you like has no control over her cousin." and he should help you in this regard.

    One reason people marry relatives is if a man divorces, some one will divorce his sister. This fear keeps many people from divorcing

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