Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Family issues confusing marriage

Confused girl


I was forced into a marriage 18 years ago by my parents. At the time I wanted to marry someone else but my parents refused. The guy they got me married to divorced me after 8 years, I'm from the uk so I never called him over from pakistan nor did I see him or have any communication with him. My parents disowned me and have not spoken to me for 15 years

Then I got married in the uk. I have one child, and me and his father have divorced now as it wasn't working out.

The guy that I wanted to marry still wants to marry me and so do I, he was married for 9 years does not have any kids and was not happy in his marriage so he is divorcing his wife. He has proposed to me again and I'm confused as to what to do as he is related to my family and so is his soon to be ex wife. He is accepting my son as well.

I know my parents would never accept this even though they haven't spoken to me in all these years or seen my son, please advice me what should I do?


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5 Responses »

  1. Keep away to many games not serious mature men.All i see it if the person doesnt have complete deen then his life will be a right off.Focus on your own self .Your iman your career so you can be independant because the way i see it your life will be wasted and you will get the short end of the stick......You should know better there are lot young scholors with degrees in a field and involved with the effort of deen

  2. Asalam o alaikum,

    If he is serious then he should approach you in an appropriate way. Contact your parents. Approach your family dear as they will help you making a right decision. Whatever you decide, think wisely and with the support of your family and parents.

    Pray with sincere heart. Make your faith strong. Be a good Muslim. Offer Salah. ALLAH will help you and will make your way easy but for that first approach ALLAH. I mean pray, read Quran, offer Salah, Tahajudd. ALLAH is there for you. Just go and ask Him. He will answer you in a best way trust me. ALLAH loves you so be on the right path. That path will lead you towards whats best for you. Look just tell ALLAH what you are going through as i see a divorced single mother. It's a tough job. ALLAH knows your situation but He will like it when you go and tell HIM with sincere heart and ask Him for help. Just think of your child, how much happiness will you get when your child comes to you, show his trust and tells you everything. That smile on a mother's face while chatting with her child. and ALLAH loves 70 times more than a mother so just tell ALLAH and ask his help. You'll find peace.

    I'll pray for you sister. Remember us in prayers as well.
    INSHAA ALLAH, ALLAH will help you, Stay Blessed.

  3. If you have better options then go for them, if not evaluate this guy and marry him without your parents approval. If they aren't even talking to you then there isn't much you can do for them anyway. If they are going to for e you into marriage with someone you don't like I don't know how they can help.

  4. Have you tried reconciling with your parents? So many years have passed, perhaps they have softened towards you and the situation? Try and explain to them, maybe through allocating a trustworthy family member that nearly 20 years has passed, and this grudge they are holding against has eaten away so many precious years, why allow it to take away anymore? Who knows how long your parents have left to live?
    About this proposal, what was the reason your parents said no in the first place? And why are you communicating with this guy while he's still married? It doesn't sound right that he's planning to divorce his current wife, and has already proposed to you? If he's a family member, you must know people in common, so maybe speak to people who know him and find out about his character. If he does genuinely want to marry you, how he goes about proposing will show how serious he is. As your parents are unavailable, maybe he could speak to your brother/uncle or even imaam of your local masjid. And most importantly do salatul istikharah, ask Allah to give you what is best your deen, dunya and akhirah.

  5. Sister,

    You both love each other we can imagine the depth you both have for each other. If you want to marry him no issues with that but he is divorcing his wife for not having children... This is not correct. That girl left everything for him - her family, her friends and her house. And now he wants to leave her coz he loves u and he has no children. That is too harsh for that woman. This is not what Islam teaches us to do. He is doing wrong stop him and become his second wife if you desire jannah . Sister this life will end one day and what remains with you are your good deeds. Ask him to convince his wife for second marriage. InshAllah you both will live happily.
    Think before doing anything incorrect.

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