Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Family overhearing sex with wife

halal or haram?

One of my male friends is 22 years old and newly married. However, his home is small and his 6 sisters are also living in home with two rooms only. Whenever he has sex with his wife it can be noticed by his sisters. Is it halal for him to be in this situation?

talk2farhan

 


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16 Responses »

  1. I don't think it's appropriate at all for a married and sexually active couple to live in a 2-bedroom house with the husband's 6 sisters and parents. A 2-bedroom home is not intended for 8 people! And yes, it's not right that your friend's sisters can hear him have sex - that's disgusting, who wants to hear their brother enjoy his wife? Yuck.

    Sex is meant to be something private between husband and wife, something they can do whenever and however they want to....and that's just not possible if married couples live with their families...and on top of it, in a very cramped space. I feel really bad for the wife! Here she is, newly wed, and she has to have sex with her husband's sisters on the other side of the door.

    • Adina, all valid points, but not terribly helpful. Maybe they are a poor family and the young couple cannot afford their own home. Do you have any constructive suggestions?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Asalamwalaikum. Your friend should think about getting his own house/flat which would be appropriate for their privacy, if there are only 2 rooms then there is hardly any privacy for anybody who is living at that home. This wouldn't be halal because, it is not acceptable and right to be having a sexual intercourse with his wife which can be noticed by his sister's even if they are in the same room. This is wrong and can be influenced badly. You can try and talk to your friend and explain about the situation, how bad and wrong it looks especially towards his sister's and to consider on getting his own place with his wife. May Allah give your friend guidance and what to do to solve the situation in shaa Allah Ameen.

    • ameen well said mashallah couldn't off thought a better way of saying it.

      I suggest same thing try recommending him to getting a new place becase its not right for someone to know what stuff goes between u and ur own wife stuff like that should be kept private between u guys .

  3. Assalamu'alaikum,

    He must look for making another arrangement if possible. If he can arrange for a separate place where he stays some days in a week/month with his wife it will be alright - a suggestion.

    If the sisters are under his responsibility (meaning that the father is unavailable to take their responsibility) then he must take care of them and look to marry them off to righteous men.

    It is understandable that arranging for a bigger house maybe difficult. He must look for situations when he is alone with his wife. It is not good for others to know what is happening inside closed doors - that is a matter between the couple and should remain between them.

    If a separate place can not be arranged, then let him see how he can block noise from the room - I heard that this was possible (what I mean is that the room is sound-proof, no noise goes out and no noise comes in).

    In sha Allah, it will be possible if alternatives are sought with trust in Allah.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. I'm sorry but this makes me laugh.

  5. If the young couple can afford their own home, then they should move out.

    If they can't afford it, then here are some suggestions:

    1. Rent a cheap motel/hotel room once a week and make love there, in privacy.

    2. If they own the land the home is built on, then build a separate bungalow or small house some distance from the main house. The couple can either live there full time, or use it for their romantic interludes.

    3. Let the rest of the family go out once in a while, leaving the couple in privacy. It doesn't have to be like, "Everyone get out so we can have sex!" No, the young man can speak to his father discreetly and say, "Baba, do you think you could take mom and the girls out to the park or to a restaurant (or to visit family or friends) once in a while so my wife and I have privacy?"

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • LOL wael at number 3 that totally made me laugh the way you said it but yh its so true and put in a good way.

  6. Lol people need soundproofing:-)

    Its expensive as a young couple to have your own place esp in Europe...someone just needs to calm down:-)

  7. Salaams,

    I don't think this is an issue isolated to couples living with relatives. It's also a dilemma faced for couples who have children who are old enough to understand what's going on if they happen to pass by their parent's door on the way to the restroom or to get a snack at night. I think there are ways to do things "quietly", also. This can also help reduce what anyone might overhear.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. Assalaam...wrwb...

    "Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you" A Sentence from our Prophets Muhammed S.W.A.S. Last sermons.

    The purpose of interaction of every relationship is awarded and respected before Allah for a Muslim.

    Everything action is a requirement and has a result of new phase.

    Irrespective of being weak or Strong Muslim.
    A Muslim always Obey Allah & The righteous things will happen automatically.

    No one is interested in other's personal to that extent of posted question of listing those noises.

    Take some good measures and think as how Prophet Ibrahim PBUH found Allah where no one preached him Islam Except Allah.

    The topics of "Romance","Love","Attraction"," Affection","Sex","Intercourse", everything is an important requirement in Martial life and all are interrelated.

    At the same time everywhere "Showoffs" are forbidden.

    Respecting everything is very important in our day to day life hence, Dignity is maintained Automatically, it is very essential to Muslim which we have forgotten in every angle of our life.

    No one can be or behave proud except ALLAH.. The creator of the heavens and the earth.

    Dignity help's Muslims in every-way.

    Allah Hafiz.
    UsmanAssadMirza.

  9. Assalamu'alaikum,

    What the brother means is different.

    He has another post which says the following:

    ***Couple married but very poor home has 2 rooms with 6 sisters and parents very difficult to have love or sex they do sex when one or two sisters in room but sisters not notice them .

    As not much money couple cannot arrange separate hotel or cottage or any other suitable place is sex is halal in islam as comming in and out of room sisters quite often

    farhan***

    Brother Farhan, I deleted your new post as the continuation was possible on this page.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Brother Farhan,

      It is immoral to have someone present when you are intimate with your wife, forget about having sex. These are things that should be happening behind closed doors. You should avoid any kind of intimacy in presence of your sisters. If your door has a lock, you can lock it from inside for some time instead of leaving it open.

      Otherwise you can look for times when no one is home. Like what brother Wael suggested. If you feel shy to use the exact words, you can use words other than these and send them all away for some time so that you have some privacy.

      But for sure, having sexual relations is next to impossible in the conditions you mentioned, except that it becomes known to your sisters. You must refrain from it.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. Assalaamualaikam

    It isn't appropriate to have sex in the presence of other people; not only does it go against principles of modesty, but it can be very embarrassing for other people to see or hear people having sex, and your wife may also feel very embarrassed. Loving intimacy between a husband and wife should remain that way - just the two people.

    It can be difficult in any busy home to have privacy, but it is achievable - for example using the advice already given. You could also discuss with your father if you feel able to - he will remember being young and wanting to be alone with his wife, so may be able to help arrange time for you and your wife to be alone together - not just for physical intimacy, but to build a strong emotional bond and relationship.

    You may also want to start trying to save money for a place of your own - your current living arrangement seems quite crowded, and if you and your wife wish to start a family of your own, it might be better to have somewhere of your own to do that? You could set aside a little each month (if you work in a job where it is possible, you could pick up even one extra shift per month and put that money towards it) and look for somewhere small and near your parents.

    Remember that you can fast to help you maintain your control, as advised by Allah and our Beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), and ask Allah for patience and guidance to resolve your difficulties. When you feel frustrated, try to remember that you have been blessed in many ways - loving parents, sisters, a wife, a home - so remember to give thanks to Allah for the blessings already in your life.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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