Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I am fed up of masturbation; please help

Masturbation: Halal or Haraam?

Fed-up of Masturbation


I am very desperate n i really really need help. i just can't get rid of feelings to touch myself!

i just do not want to do it... it is filthy and unnecessary. but those feelings are unbearable and strong. I have tried everything but nothing really works.. even when i am fasting, i start to get those feelings and it just makes me cry like hell...

i mean i do not want those feelings to interrupt my life anymore... any little thing can trigger those feelings and i just want them to go away... i do not want to touch myself and waste my life like this....

i just really fear that Allah will be angry.. i fear His punishments but these feelings.... nd i can not get married by now... i am only 17 and parents do not want me to get married now...

help me please! this is terrible n i can not bear it anymore! I get wet easily and it gets difficult to take showers ...

i also wanted to know about when to take the showers? after touching your self or even when you get wet without any touch? i want to live a normal and clean life! i have a lot to say that makes me cry ... but in short just please help me...

~ heartbroken

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8 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    There are many posts already on this site that address the issue of stopping masturbation. If you do a search, I am sure you can find many helpful tips in that regard, that I don't feel necessary to repeat here.

    I would like to answer your question about when to take showers (ghusl), but the answers depend on whether you are male or female. If a woman touches her private parts but does not orgasm, she doesn't need to bathe. If she does have an orgasm, she needs a shower. The amount of wetness for ladies is inconsequential, because the wetness in and of itself is not an orgasm. Not only that, ladies are wet in different amounts at different times for different reasons. That's why it can't be judged on that alone.

    If you are a man, the types of emissions are different depending on whether they occur with a full ejaculation or not. If you are "leaking" before you have an orgasm, that does not require a shower. If you have a full ejaculation/orgasm, then you would need to bathe.

    -Amy Editor

  2. for a male if he just leak not fully ejaculate by watching something arousing willingly or he required to take a shower? leaking is very often wid me and it is hard to take showers even if u havent touched urself and dont want to masturbate......plz help me in this regard briefly .. briefly wid hadith if possible

    • Salaams,

      The specific answer to that has already been outlined in my second paragraph above. Please see for more info on the Hadith supporting this issue.

      -Amy Editor

    • murash, you need to take shower if what has been ejaculated is sperm (mani) and the other discharges called wadi and madhi do not obligate ghusl (taking shower).

      Read the following on the difference between Wadi, Madhi and Mani:

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

      • what does islam or hadith says about a man who mastrubates and doesnt take shower.!
        he sleeps in his bed he drives the car and he touches every household, does the thing get dirty.??

        • As long as he washes his hands it's fine. However, the scholars say that he should not visit the masjid while junub.

          Narrated Abu Hurairah RadiaAllah ‘anhu: “The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) came across me in one of the streets of Medina while I was Junub جنب (in a state of impurity). So I slipped away from him and went to take a ghusl. Then I returned to him, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said, “O Abu Huraira! Where have you been?” I replied, “I was Junub, so I disliked sitting in your company while I am not pure.” The Prophet said, “Subhan Allah! A believer never becomes impure.” [Bukhari No.281]


  3. thank u very much u have solved a great problem for me . may allah bless u. I could have never asked this question from thanks again nd again

  4. salam...i m 20 years old pakistani...i want to make a point that u know how we constantly feed our children wid the things that alcohol and robbery and murder r big sins!!! and our children learn and develop haterd and disgust to these sins.....the reason is obvious that they r educated against these evils and they r trained against these evils...bcz we constantly talk to them about these evils.....same can be done in pornography .....u know in pakistan i wonder in villages a parent wont even know that a terrible thing like porn even exist!!!!so how can they educate and warn their children.....nobody ever talks to us about sex and masturabation and a result we r exposed and learn wrong things and concepts from some frend or other source....i was exposed to porn by my frends that moment i was shocked and felt disgusting and left them immediately and i just couldnt stand it that how peple can do such terrible things in front of camera but then i got into this vicios cycle and now i m struggling wid point is that yhe parents and the teachers should talk about sex and mastrbation and warn against porn so that the child visualise porn in the same very category as he visualises murder and robbery.........plz give me any sugestion

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