Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel ashamed about my masturbation

Ashamed woman, sad woman, depressed woman

Indeed I am feeling very ashamed of myself

I am a 22 year old muslimah and have done this sinful act several times. I just can't control these urges. I don't know why; every time I do it I feel guilty and promise Allah that I will never do it again BUT I do it again. I just can't help it. This time I am very ashamed to even ask for Allah's forgiveness.

I don't know how I started this act, but trust me I hate myself for doing it. I feel like I am going to become an addict and even if I ask for Allah's forgiveness I am going to do it again. Whenever I am angry or feel like nobody is there for me I think I will die alone and I am not perfect for anybody. I masturbate to stop those urges, but now I am fed up by my behavior; I just can't live like this. I feel like there is no meaning of previous prayers to Allah that I will stop it. I have never been forgiven for my previous acts and that is why I keep doing it.

I have read some where that to stop this you should not keep yourself alone. I have tried that but whenever I am upset I do it anyway. I might have done this act like 20 times and I hate myself and I can't take the burden of this guilt but I don't know how to stop myself. I want to be a better Muslim...I just want Allah to forgive me for one last time but in my head I keep saying to myself, " you are talking nonsense- you will do it again no matter how many times you ask for forgiveness".

- hollow.soul


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20 Responses »

  1. Salam,
    U have to re-program urself, step by step. Its not possible to get cured over night.
    1. Stop looking at opposite sex.( trust me its harder than it sounds).
    2. Stop thinking about sexual fantasy.( the most harderst, as shaytan will ask u to keep thinking since u r not doing anything. However, this step corrupts ur mind and it will force u commit sin, make u feel helpless. Eventually, u'll feel that u don't have any choice but committing sin).
    3. Pray 5 times, i mean pray with ur heart, not just for the sake of praying. Ask Allah SWT to make u stronger, not to become Shaytans slave.
    4. Fast once a week, if not once a month ! I would suggest once a week since it helps tremendously to cool u off.
    5. Stop watching all romantic movies, its increases the urge. Instea, during leasure time read hadith, iskamic history.

    Its sll up to u now. Try to follow above steps. It worked for me, In Sha Allah it will be effective for u. May Allah give u the guidance. Ameen.

    • Salamualaikum, Adding to this, none can abstain from such urges, except with Taqwa. So, work on improving your Taqwa.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalaamu'alaikum Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh...

        Allahu Akbar...respected Sister Hollow.Soul, the key is TAQWAH like our Beloved Brother Abu Abdul Bari mentioned above. And now to increase Taqwah or develop Taqwah in our heart, we should perform A'maal of Deen (good deeds). And one of the best Deed is like mention by Our Respected Brother Khan...Salaah!!!

        You should perform your Salaah with Full concentration, Devotion & Sincerity. This is the key of our Success Sister, on this earth & Hereafter. Now like Mr Khan said it doesn't happen over night.

        So, you should be steadfast in your prayer at prescribed time and have patient. It will come again & again, but remember that Allah Azza Wajal is looking at you. Sometime you are about to commit this sin and you'll say to yourself that its Haraam and that Allah Ta'ala is looking at you, but still you'll do it. If this happen mean there is lack of Concentration, Devotion & Sincerity in your Prayers. So, everytime you pray, clear your heart...your intention should be for the pleasure of Allah Azza Wajal only, ok Sister Hollow.Soul!!!

        Sorry if i had offence you Sister, didn't mean too.
        Allah Ta'ala know best...

        Take Care and may Allah Ta'ala preserve our Imaan.

        Assalaamu'alaikum Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh...

  2. Salam brother Bari,

    Could you please elaborate how to improve Taqwa..please explain in details.

    Zazak Allah

    • Wa Alaikum as Salam,

      In sha Allah, I will take you through a journey of building Taqwa.

      It comes from obeying Allah and His Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, following the Quran and the Sunnah in each and everything.

      When you are striving and doing your best to follow the Aayaat of the Quran and the Saheeh Ahaadeeth from the Sunnah, you can begin improving the Taqwa, and in sha Allah it will work.

      Taqwa involves being aware that Allah Is watching, and it involves abstinance from what Allah Has Forbidden. Just like Umar bin Khattab Radiyallahu Anhu was told by Ubayy bin Ka'b Radiyallahu Anhu when he questioned him:

      "How would you describe Taqwa? In reply Ubay asked, “Have you ever had to traverse a thorny path?” Umar replied in the affirmative and Ubay then continued, “How do you do so?” Umar said that he would carefully walk through after first having collected all loose and flowing clothing in his hands so nothing gets caught in the thorn. Ubay said: “This is the definition of Taqwa.”"

      Ali Radiyallahu Anhu defines it thus:

      "Fear of al Jaleel (meaning - Allah), acting upon the tanzeel (Quran), being content with qaleel (little), and preparing for the day of raheel (journeying from this world)."

      Subhanallah! Keep these definitions in your heart.

      When you begin to pray, prepare your heart for it and know that Allah Is Watching. Not only that, but He Is in front of you. You are doing sujood to Him. Consider that He Is between you and the Sutrah, between you and the Ka'bah (note that Allah Is physically not present in this World, He Is present physically over His Throne). You are bowing down to ar Rahmaan, you are falling on you face to Him, Subhaanah.

      When you recite al Faatihah, Allah answers you. You are talking to Allah when you recite the Quran in Salah:

      Prophet (may the blessings and peace of Allah be up on him) say:

      "Allah (mighty and sublime be He), had said: 'I have divided prayer between Myself and My servant into two halves, and My servant shall have what he has asked for. When the servant says: 'Al-hamdu lillahi rabbi l-alamin' (3), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: 'My servant has praised Me.' And when he says: 'Ar-rahmani r-rahim' (4), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: 'My servant has extolled Me,' and when he says: 'Maliki yawmi ddin' (5), Allah says: 'My servant has glorified Me' - and on one occasion He said: 'My servant has submitted to My power.' And when he says: 'Iyyaka na budu wa iyyaka nasta in' (6), He says: 'This is between Me and My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.' And when he says: 'Ihdina s-sirata l- mustaqim, siratal ladhina an amta alayhim ghayril-maghdubi alayhim wa la d-dallin' (7), He says: 'This is for My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.'"

      In the same way, Allah replies when we recite some other Aayaat of the Quran. What does it denote? It means that Allah Is listening to each and everything you say. Should it not be shameful of you to ignore the Lord Who Is right before you and turn your thougts to something else?

      Allah Says about Himself in Surah an Noor:

      24:35
      اللَّهُ نُورُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ ۚ مَثَلُ نُورِهِ كَمِشْكَاةٍ فِيهَا مِصْبَاحٌ ۖ الْمِصْبَاحُ فِي زُجَاجَةٍ ۖ الزُّجَاجَةُ كَأَنَّهَا كَوْكَبٌ دُرِّيٌّ يُوقَدُ مِنْ شَجَرَةٍ مُبَارَكَةٍ زَيْتُونَةٍ لَا شَرْقِيَّةٍ وَلَا غَرْبِيَّةٍ يَكَادُ زَيْتُهَا يُضِيءُ وَلَوْ لَمْ تَمْسَسْهُ نَارٌ ۚ نُورٌ عَلَىٰ نُورٍ ۗ يَهْدِي اللَّهُ لِنُورِهِ مَنْ يَشَاءُ ۚ وَيَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْأَمْثَالَ لِلنَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ
      Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things.

      Imagine the reward for being obedient. A Jannah which has streets of gold and silver, a huge palace therein, reward that no ear has heard and no eye has ever seen. A person in Jannah will SEE THE LORD WITHOUT ANY VEIL. They will see His Blessed Face, and He Will ask if they require anything else. Can you imagine? Read this description of the Jannah by Imam ibn Qayyim regularly: http://www.kalamullah.com/paradise.html

      What if you are not given the Jannah? Then there is Jahannam for those who Allah Is Displeased with. They will never see their Lord. Instead, they will keep calling the guard of Hell - O Maalik! O Maalik! in order to intercede to Allah for reducing their torment. Read the description of Jahannam here: http://www.islamicboard.com/general/134298274-description-jahannam-hell.html

      Keep both these images in mind. It is not a myth, but truth. It is either Jannah or Jahannam. It is either His Pleasure or His Displeasure. Where do you intend to be?

      Whenever your nafs or the shaitaan shows you the beauty of the world and pleasure one gets in sins, remind your nafs and the Shaitaan of the Jannah and the Jahannam.

      Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allâh ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said: ``When Allâh created Paradise and the Fire, He sent Jibril to Paradise, saying: `Look at it and at what I have prepared in it for its inhabitants.''' He ( اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said: ``So he came to it and looked at it, and at what Allâh had prepared in it. He (Jibril) said: `Indeed, by Your Might, none shall hear of it except that he shall enter it.' Then He gave the order for it to be surrounded with hardships. He said: `Return to it and look at it, and at what I have prepared in it for its inhabitants.''' He ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said: ``So he returned to it and found it surrounded with hardships. He returned to Him and said: `Indeed, by Your Might, I fear that none shall enter it.' He said: `Go to the Fire and look at it and at what I have prepared in it for its inhabitants.' So he found it, one part of it riding the other. So he returned to Him and said: `Indeed, by Your Might, none shall hear of it and then enter it.' So He gave the order for it to be surrounded with desires, then He said: `Return to it,' so he (Jibril) returned to it, then he said: `Indeed, by Your Might, I fear that none shall be saved from it except that he shall enter it.''' ( Hasan ) [Abu `Eisâ said:] This Hadith is Hasan Sahih .

      This will help you build your taqwa, in sha Allah. If required, print this post and keep it in your pocket to remig yourself again and again.

      For a man, another choice is that he visits graves in the graveyard, reminding himself that he will go into one such graves shortly.

      May Allah make us the inheritors of Jannah and May He protect us from Jahannam.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Start Praying whole heartidly five times a day and let Allah SWT do the rest cuz Allah Himself tells us :

    " Verily Salaah ( offered in a proper manner ) prevents from Fahisha and evil deeds"

  4. Asalam o Alaikum

    The best solution is to get married .... pray for finding your soul mate .... As am doing because i have the same issue ... Then Mufti Sheikh Abdullah (Riyadh / Saudi Arabia) guided me to marry as soon as possible.

    He teaches me DUA " Rabbana Hablana min azwaajina wadhurriy-yatina, qurrata 'ayioni wa-jalna lil-muttaqeena Imaama" please recite this DUA as more as possible.

    Marriage is complete meditation thats why Our Beloved Prophet said "Those who marry saves half of his imaan" (these are not the exact words please refer hadees for that)

    Bro Khan, has provided very beautiful instructions. But these are for every one those masturbate's or those dont particularly. Every Muslim Brother or Sister have to do it.

    Here are few Azkars for you, also include morning and evening supplications;
    recite Surah Rahman
    ===========================================
    ***أعوذ بكلمات الله التامات من شر ما خلق ***
    Authu bikalimaatil lahi tammati min sharri maa khalaq
    It is narrated that whoever says this Du’a three times in the morning, no sting will harm him that night.” (Tirmidhi)
    Meaning:
    *I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from the evil of what He has created*
    ===================================================================
    اللهم رحمتك ارجوا فلا تكلنى الى نفسى طرفة عين وأصلح لى شأنى كلة لا اله الا انت
    Allahumma rahmetuka arjoo, falaa tekilnee elaa nefsee tarfete ayn, wa aslih lee shenee kullahu. Laa ilaaha illaa Anta.
    Meaning:
    “O Allah I seek Your mercy, so please don’t entrust me to myself –not even for the blinking of an eye- and please resolve all of my problems. There is no god besides You.”
    ===================================================================
    رَبَّنَآ ءَاتِنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحۡمَةً۬ وَهَيِّئۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَمۡرِنَا رَشَدً۬ا
    “Our Lord! Bestow on us Mercy from Thyself, and dispose our affair for using the right way!”
    ==================================================================
    اللهم فاغفر لنا ذنوبنا وكفر عنا سيئاتنا وتوفنا مع الأبرار
    “Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and efface our bad deeds and take our souls in the company of the righteous”
    =================================================================

    And Allah knows best & He is the source of strength!

    اللَّهُمَّ اِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ ، تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي
    Translation: Allahumma innaka afuwwun kareemun tuhib-bul af-wa fa-afo anni
    Meaning: O Allah You are The One Who pardons greatly, and loves to pardon, so pardon me.

    May Allah guide us & help us to overcome our sins

    Thanks

    Omair Khalid
    Riyadh Saudi Arabia

  5. Dear All

    Please there is no such word "Salam or Salamualaikum". Please correct your self & teach all others also

    The correct word is;

    Assalaamu'alaikum Wa Rahmatoullaahi Wa Barakaatuh...

    or

    Assalam u Alaikum (in short)

    http://www.123muslim.com/muslim-today/18065-different-meaning-salam.html

    • I totally agree thank you...

    • Brother Omair, this is not correct. Allah Himself uses the phrase SalamunAlaikum. You can find it here in 39:73
      وَسِيقَ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوْا رَبَّهُمْ إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ زُمَرًا ۖ حَتَّىٰ إِذَا جَاءُوهَا وَفُتِحَتْ أَبْوَابُهَا وَقَالَ لَهُمْ خَزَنَتُهَا سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ طِبْتُمْ فَادْخُلُوهَا خَالِدِينَ
      But those who feared their Lord will be driven to Paradise in groups until, when they reach it while its gates have been opened and its keepers say, "Peace be upon you; you have become pure; so enter it to abide eternally therein," [they will enter].

      And in 10:10
      دَعْوَاهُمْ فِيهَا سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ وَتَحِيَّتُهُمْ فِيهَا سَلَامٌ ۚ وَآخِرُ دَعْوَاهُمْ أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ
      Their call therein will be, "Exalted are You, O Allah ," and their greeting therein will be, "Peace." And the last of their call will be, "Praise to Allah , Lord of the worlds!"

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. Fast regularly. It will change your life in everyway InshaAllah: concentration, health, decreasing urges, taqwa - everything. Ask Allah to empty your heart from attachment to this dunya as well.
    Ideally do the Sunnah which is Monday & Thursday if not do once a week minimum if you can even if it is not a Monday or a Thursday (although I dont think you can do a Friday on its own.)
    At the time of breaking the fast make sincere dua for anything good you are seeking because this dua is guaranteed to be answered. So ask Allah to protect you from this sin and help you control your nafs.

    Also this sounds weird but do you have a 'trigger?' Is there a pattern. Sometimes when we form habits there is a pattern - something that causes it. Especially when these habits come from a feeling. And feelings can limit you in the way they make you think. I am going to ask you a personal question: for YOU to consider(you do not have to answer on this forum). Why do you masterbate? Is it lust for men or a particular man, is it after reading books or watching movies or romance. Or is it a 'stress relief' instead of what most people do when stressed which is 'eat chocolate' (dont do that though!)

    Do the typical things like avoid romantic movies, books, never be alone. If you feel aroused for any reason get up and go and do wudhu and read Qur'an or do tasbih. Do something to be close to Allah.
    Also release any residual feelings of stress, worry, anxiety or sadness that you might be holding onto.

    And if you feel emotionally ready - consider marriage. Take some steps. But don't just marry a brother for sexual reasons otherwise there is a risk it will cloud your vision and once you have satisfied your desires and the 'crazy in love' feelings goes (which it inevitably does) you might be shocked at your choice. I know this is controversial so I apologise if this offends. But consider it - take steps towards it and purify your intentions.

    Stop hating yourself, there is no point - make tawbah and trust that Allah will help you if you have sincere intentions to stop.

    Oh and check out ipersonalenrichment.com - there is a free audio on releasing feelings and whims.
    If you want more advice on that just message on here and let me know InshaAllah

  7. Very rightly you have been advised for your problem,Mr "hollow soul",by Khan & Bari ...
    Two more things,,,,,,:
    "hollow soul "may be some sort of rhetoric term in your case,but not the acting & applying symbol.if you are feeling sorry about your vice,that's the great blessings of Allah Almighty,so stop feeling hollow soul,any more..!
    2nd thing ,I will join with Bari & Khan saying,"there must also be some physical way to get rid of it",you know what..?HAVE SOME EXERCISE AS WELL AS STAMINA GIVING ACTIVITY. have a running of at least 5 km's a day...got worried??????????not a problem man! go on even with 1 km a day,but increase ir gradually ...5 KM,IN NOT MORE THAN 20-25 MIN'S ...YOU WILL SEE THAT IT WILL WORK...BUT AGAIN DO ALL THIS,WHILE DOING WHAT KHAN & BARI SAID,,,

  8. Asm amth
    You are suffering from addiction and Allah is the only one who can cure, but you have to support and provide for the cure by your will. don't say you want to and you can't do it. Actually, when you wish something sincerely you just do it, it does not require angels to help you because it is just so easy. First thing, dont expect any help from Allah when you don't seek it. If you want to be cured, seek help of Allah as much as you can. whatever you do whatever befalls you in your recovery process, dont give up seeking Allah's help. It is not what you do and what you don't do that is the evil, actually it is not seeking Allah's help that is the real evil.
    Secondly, there is cure for every disease in Quran. Read Quran and understand it. then think about it, read as much as you can. Read sura Yousf as much as you can. Read sura duha, dhar and sura talaaq. I found the best cure in these suras. Besides, don't feel hopeless and don't make plans. admit that you need Help of Allah because you have failed in the past. Write as much as you can about your experiences and then destroy everything you write. Although that what you write might appear to you as the best wisdom and divine inspiration, actually it is all crap. The only truth lies in Quran. But if you start getting disturbed by feelings and emotions, write about them and write about your helplessness. then think about it weather yo are so helpless and weak that you cant do what you wish to do.

  9. Assalamualaikum Warhamtullahi Wabrakaatuhu Sister.

    Listen sister, It does not matter even if you do this heinous thing again and again, I think our brothers and sisters out here have given you helpful and much need information on how to stop this and overcome this addiction. Get married sister, so then it would become legal for your spouse to do it on you or maybe Allah would remove this addiction from you totally. The key here as clichéd as it may sound, I can’t stress it enough Have Taqwa of Allah, Do not go near things that cause you to act in this certain way.

    I know cuz I was addicted to this act for like 12 years and Alhamdulillah Allah protected me, and now I can contain my urges even though I am not married. May Allah protect you and remove you from this burden.
    The key here is feeling guilty for the crime, repenting and being sincere about not doing it again and then even if you fall into your urges again and commit this crime, do tawba again and again, I have found this very effective in overcoming such addictions like this.

    The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, says, ‘O son of Adam, as long as you call on Me, I shall forgive you of what you have done, and think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if your sins were to reach up to the clouds in the sky, and then you were to ask for My forgiveness, I would forgive you and think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if you were to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you were to meet Me after death, not worshipping anything besides Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as the earth.’” [Tirmidhi]

    Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) loves it when people ask Him to forgive their sins. He is overjoyed with their repentance, since He hates to punish anybody. At the slightest excuse He washes people’s sins away. The only condition is that the human being must truly regret in his/her heart that they did what they did. The sinner should be ashamed of their misdeeds, and discontinue committing such sins. If the resolve to avoid the sin is not there then one has not actually repented.

    In this hadith, Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) tells us that no matter how many a person’s sins are, should they even reach the sky in heaps, Allah would forgive the sinner if they were to turn to Allah in repentance. In a different hadith, the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) told us that Allah’s bounty is so vast that He would actually convert all the sins into good deeds, should the person truly repent. We should not postpone repenting of our sins and reforming ourselves to when we become old, since nobody knows when they will die.

    What seems to be evident – and Allah knows best – is that whenever a person truly and sincerely repents after committing a sin, then that sin is wiped clean away, as if the person never committed it in the first place.

    For a person's repentance to be genuine, he or she must feel deep regret for having committed the sin and have a firm resolve to never commit the sin again. These are among the conditions of sincere repentance.

    Bukhari & Muslim; narrated by Abu Huraira: “I heard the Prophet saying, "If somebody commits a sin and then says, 'O my Lord! I have sinned, please forgive me!' and his Lord says, 'My slave knows that he has a Lord who forgives sins, and punishes for them, I therefore have forgiven my slave (his sins).' Then he remains without committing any sin for a while and then again commits another sin and says, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah says, 'My slave knows that he has a Lord who forgives sins, and punishes for them, I therefore have forgiven my slave (his sin). Then he remains without Committing any other sin for a while and then commits another sin (for the 3rd time) and says, 'O my Lord, I have committed another sin, please forgive me,' and Allah says, 'My slave knows that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for it I therefore have forgiven My slave (his sin), he can do whatever he likes."

    a. Asking forgiveness does not necessitate a persons stopping from doing the sin, but rather it is important to ask for forgiveness from a sin even if you continue doing it. e.g. masturbation, zina, missing prayers etc …

    The Sinner whom Allah Loves and Smiles At - Hope Enducing

    Now to get to my second point Shaytaan the evil snob does not want us to return to Allah , so he comes and says “How can you ask forgiveness form Allah , when you know you are going to do it” or “How can you face Allah after you did such a crime” , but always keep the hadeeth that I have mentioned above in mind and there are many ,many Ayahs and Hadeeths about Forgiveness and mercy from Allah .
    Has it never occurred why we always start our reciting the Qur’an by saying Bismillahi(In the name of Allah) Ar-Rahmaanir(The most compassionate, the unimaginably merciful) Ar-Raheem(The merciful towards the believers) ?

    Sister the videos mentioned here are just like 7 mins in total I urge you watch them , they explain much clearly about my poor attempt to explain the Mercy and compassion of Allah.

    Ya Allah purify my intentions, and forgive me. Ya Allah help my sister overcome this addiction and become a Standard/Role model for other Muslims to follow.

    Hisham Al Awadi┇Sins To Merit Converter┇The Inspiring story of Abu Tawweel

    I am so messed up. Will Allah forgive me ?

  10. Never listen to the shaitan. He is our enemy. do not stop asking forgiveness to Allah.

    Al-Tirmidhi narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “Allah, may He be blessed and exalted, said: ‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you and I would not mind.’” [Saheeh al-Tirmidhi].

    Ibn Maajah narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” [Saheeh Ibn Maajah].

    you said "every time I do it I feel guilty and promise Allah that I will never do it again BUT I do it again. "

    do you know that if you break a promise you will have to offer expiation for breaking an oath (kafaarat yameen) ?

    a similar story like yours found here islamqa.info/en/ref/47738/promise

  11. Look hollow soul,
    I`ll be straight and frank. If there are no wrong inputs like movies, books etc and if you are constantly praying salah and quran and if you still feel the urges, then there are 2 reasons:-

    1) Body heat :- Increase in body heat will increase the urges and some foods like beef, meat can add to it.
    Reduce intake of such foods. drink soya milk and drink lot of water. it helps
    2)Hormonal changes :- during teenage lot of hormone changes go in the body which could add to these urges.

    The solution to these 2 reasons is exercise. play some outdoor sport or hit the gym and workout till you are tired. All excessive heat will be released and your body will cool down.
    Once you make it a habit to exercise then add one more habit to it. Meet your girlfriends frequently and hangout with them in fresh air ad explore new places in your city.

    And when you are alone in your house (like your room or bathroom) make it your 'ME' time. As in take care of your hair, apply cleanser, toner and moisturizer to your skin, brush your teeth etc. and when you see changes in your skin and hair, Insha Allah you will love the change and would want to do it more rather than wasting your time thinking about urges, and soon Insha Allah your habit will reduce and vanish in thin air like it never happened but keep praying tauba everyday and keep attached to salah and quran otherwise shaitaan will grip you once again.

    Last but not the least, remember A healthy mind makes a healthy body. If its too early to marry, focus on your health and studies and your talents.

    Goodluck. Do let me know if this helped you. It did to me.

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