Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feel lonely with In-laws

Muslim woman walking

AOA. I have been married for 5 years and am married to my cousin. My mother in law is my father's sister. I feel extremely lonely in this house. My MIL doesn't give me half the attention and respect given to her own daughter. My own parents live in another country and I see them every few years. I don't have any other relatives here so there is nowhere else for me to go.

She doesn't treat me badly; the only way I can describe it as is mental torture. I am constantly made to feel that I am not good enough as her daughter, that I am materialistic and my husband will never earn enough for me. I see her so loving with her daughter and she knows I don't have my mother here but she doesn't give me the time of day. Her daughter is married but is over here all the time with her kids. When guests come over, she constantly praises that her daughter did everything (even though she did not). I know these things may sound petty but I just want her to be fair. I cannot begin to explain how hurtful and painful all this is especially when I try to be a part of the family. To top it off, my MIL is active in a Muslim community and gives Islamic lectures all over the city. It is exactly the case that she does not practice what she preaches. I have tried talking to her about it many times. She tells me I am paranoid and that she doesn't treat me differently but nothing ever changes. If I stay in my room all day, no one will even come to ask me what is wrong. I just want to be accepted and want her attention too. But I am constantly made to feel like I am on my own. I really don't know what to do anymore. Please help.


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1 Responses »

  1. Why do you care so much about your mother in law? The fact is that there is nothing you can do to make your mother in law love you or treat you like a daughter. What you can do is make sure you are treated with respect. That means if she gives her daughter credit for something you did, don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. But other than that, the best thing for you to do is not care about how she feels about you. When you demand that she be more loving or nice to you, you come off as needy and that will make her lose respect for you. Hold your head high and don't let her behavior bother you. If you feel lonely, go out and make some friends! Your family should not be your only source of social interaction anyway.

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