Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feeling broken-hearted

Heartbroken, broken heart

Heartbroken.

Hi

I am 19 year old and I already lost everything I loved the most.

She treated me like an option. I met her on Facebook 3 years back and it was a long distance relationship and I fell in love with her. But she never loved me the way I loved her. She left me millions of times in those three years and I was left all alone miserably... I cried all time thinking what to do is my life over? Can I forget her, she's so cruel that she hates me, that she doesn't even care if I die or not...

I don't know what to do. I have given her numbers of chances just to be with me but this time I gave her chance and forgave her mistake but she after 3 days left me for no reason. She betrayed me, my life, my love, my care for her. But I can't stop loving her. It's so real that I can feel the pain in my heart, I'm so broken inside and outside.

I know there is nothing I can change but can anybody help me coz my pain is very real and is killing me day by day. Is there anybody who can help me by suggest something with dua or any? Please, I really need this. It's been 3 years of living a life where she is betraying me and I still forgave her and she left every time. Please help ae Allah help me through this...

muhammad hassaan

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3 Responses »

  1. dear brother.
    Believe me its natural to fall for someone at such age. and its natural to feel suicidal and lonely without her. everybody has gone through such phase but believe me you will get fine very soon but you have to leave that girl as she doesnt really seemed to be caring and worried about you.
    i am giving you advice like an elder sister. Block her and delete all her messages and contacts, you will feel a bit lonely but eventually you will overcome this feeling. You have no other option just to leave her otherwise you will hurt yourself more by seeing her online and reading your chats and facing her deceitful messages.
    Establish your deep connection with Allah and pray five times a day.Read Quran with translation and tafseer keep yourself busy in healthy activities.
    Plus you are young you should concentrate more on learning and gaining knowledge and education. Go out for walk, sports and workout, keep yourself busy and eat healthy, concentrate on your health and give time to your family and learn and share everything with them.
    Quit listening to songs they will lead you more towards thinking her and your efforts of forgetting her will be wasted. Moreover watch good informative documentary movies that will increase your knowledge and again avoid watching movies based on love stories.
    You are young and emotional, life has many things to offer INSHA ALLAH you will find a way better girl but you have to wait for the right time so until then attain good education and Job, become a man of good character and morals.
    Best of Luck My Brother (Y)

  2. Assalam alaikum,

    In the thing that you claim is love, you felt ever so betrayed by her just leaving and giving no reason and treating you with such low regard, Yet, Dear Brother, Allah swt loves us more than we can imagine and again and again, we treat His love with such disregard, isn't it true? I don't mean just you alone, but you, I and many of us.

    So, please, stop allowing her to treat you in this way. You have the love of your Creator and you need to pick up the pieces of your life by beginning each with the remembrance of Allah swt, and ending each day with the remembrance of Allah swt and getting through each day in the same way. Remove all memories of that girl by replacing them with dhikr and positive thoughts for yourself.

    Visit a hospital and volunteer your hours by giving company to sick children and the elderly. Help a neighbour with some household tasks that they are unable to do. Try to feel the pain of others in everyday things that we often take for granted to shift your focus and reevaluate your priorities. Remember your purpose again in life--it isn't this girl who walked all over you--it is for you to reach the best you that you can be and in that person is the one who worships Allah swt in prayer and in deeds. We all have to remind ourselves of this when we are hit by betrayal and pain and it can be done--so long as we remember that no one guaranteed us that life would be easy and without betrayal--no, in fact, in the dunya we are guaranteed that we will suffer and face trials--this is expected. So take a deep breath and start now in rebuilding a better and new life for yourself.

    May Allah swt replace your pain and grief with wisdom and patience and give you insight to your real and true purpose, Ameen.

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