Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feeling continuous guilt

True Love

Assalam o alaikum.

I'm here with a problem. Actually I have made some mistakes in the past because of which I can't get out of the guilt now. I have repented so much and I have heard that once a muslim repents then its the same like he haven't committed that sin.

I have been in a relationship with a guy who wasn't actually worth anything and that was a social media relationship, not real life thing. I just used to talk to him like a daily routine, I never even met him or saw him in real, but I showed him my pics. He simply left me while I still wanted to be with him.

Now I'm getting engaged and I haven't told this person about my past, I just don't know what to do. I have heard we have to conceal our sins the way Allah has concealed it till now and that its a sin if a person commits a sin and the next day tell people about it that I did so and so, a sin should be between a person and Allah only.

I continuously remind myself that I have repented and I daily repent but still there is a kind of guilt in my heart, and I'm also a bit afraid that what if God forbid he again came in my life or threatened me, then all the trust will be lost between my fiance and me.

So what should I do to get out of this guilt? Should I tell this person about my past or not? I seriously need advice, I wish I could go back and erase the time I spent with him but I can't. I was totally out of control at that time, though I used to cry so much to Allah because I knew I'm doing wrong and its haraam. But I used to cut contact for few days and then again started, it was just so difficult for me at that time. I knew he was not good for me but I can't explain how I felt at that time.

Now I just want to get out of guilt and feel as if I'm still clean and pure. Is there any way to be so?

muslimah1993


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3 Responses »

  1. One of my favorite sayings that I read about is 'Every righteous person has a past and every sinner has a future.' Alhamdulillah, you have repented and are engaged. How could this boy come back into you life? Through social media? Does he have your contacts?

    If he tries to contact you through social media, just don't answer him at all. If he has your personal information like a phone number or email, then I strongly advise you to change it. Or block him. If you could end the accounts he used to contact you in, do so and create a new one if the need arises.

    I know it sounds extreme, but this is if he tries to come back and has your information. If he does not, then blocking him or not answering is enough. You might be feeling guilty, but think about it- you did good by not going further. And you certainly don't have to tell your fiancee, because that past belongs to you alone. Only Allah has the right to judge someone's actions, and if Allah has forgiven you, why should he even know about it? Besides, you can never know whether he has been through anything himself, and since you respected him enough not to ask, he doesn't have to ask or know.

    I know I'm wording it badly, but sister, trust me, everything's going to be okay. This is from a sister who didn't used to pray or fast. I had everything against me, peers, academics, family.....but when I turned back to Allah, I never looked back. So please don't look back. I still make mistakes and slack in my ibadah, but the important thing is to try and remember Allah always.

    From your sister in Islam, Noor 767

  2. OP: I just used to talk to him like a daily routine, I never even met him or saw him in real, but I showed him my pics. Now I'm getting engaged and I haven't told this person about my past, I just don't know what to do. I have heard we have to conceal our sins the way Allah has concealed it till now and that its a sin if a person commits a sin and the next day tell people about it that I did so and so, a sin should be between a person and Allah only. I'm also a bit afraid that what if God forbid he again came in my life or threatened me, then all the trust will be lost between my fiance and me.

    I am sure person you engaged to also met few girls on the Internet also. Does your online friend knows where you live? How far he lives from you? If he did not try to meet you, there is a little chance he will meet you in future. Just delete all of your chat ID's and social media accounts and create new ones.

    Most of the things we humans are afraid of, never happen in our lives. Don't meet people on the Internet. Your future husband may try to TEST you online

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