Our marriage in danger, we fight every day
Recently, it was our 5th wedding anniversary and in last 5 years, we may have had conflicts/fights 50 times. We live outside india in Qatar and every year we go on vacation to meet our parents. From our marriage we have masha allah 2 kids, both are son and are beloved to us.
The problem is my wife is losing love and affection towards me after a year of marriage, and for the last 4 years differences are building up between us. Husband wife relationship is breaking day by day. Whenever we have fight or heating discussion and if its her mistake, her family always give her side and they try to take is lawfully and want to involve police also.
I try to be a good husband by involving myself in household work, all grocery shopping I do, I never ask my wife to go with children to buy vegetables, once a week i call domestic help to come and do the cleaning at home. Whatever a husband work I properly do take care of, but my wife dont love me, she fights for small small things and whenever there is a fight she brings old matters and make it more worse. Please advise what should i do. Since 3 days, we have stopped talking and are living like strangers in one roof.
-YusufQatar
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As salamu alaykum, brother Yusuf,
Have you considered marriage counselling?
Can you sit with your wife calmly and ask her what she wants from you and your marriage life?
If you do it, let her talk, listen to her and if she gets agressive stay away from her.
I am not able to advice you anything else, these people seems to be ready for war, this is not a very healthy way of living your marriage life, try your best and see how she reacts.
Brother try to be strong in your iman to see the situation with the wisest approach, insha´Allah.
You seem an extremely healthy man, try not to feed unhealthy situations, your children don´t deserve to see his father going through so much unjustice, I am sure you will find the ways. Please, mantain yourself always inside the limits, if you feel you are going to fight or lose control, remember that water extinguishes fire (wudu), look for refuge on Allah(swt), sit or lie down, if you think after all of this you cannot control, take dua with deep meaning for you and recite it to calm down and to give you strength to remember and focus on Allah(swt) to save yourself from her fire, insha´Allah.
Today we got this post, is not your situation, but may have some tips that would help you, insha´Allah.
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wife-hates-me
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salam aliekum brothr yusuf
MashaAllah brother you are trying your best to keep the compatibility between you and your wife.
I guess you are an Indian. And I guess you forgot to mention that when you are at your native place during your vacation she spends most of her time in her natal home.
Brother I think your wif is expecting more than what you are giving her. And I think she is in the company of boastful women who boast of their husbands in front of her.
I think you should go with sister maria's advice.
Let Allah bless you with a peaceful life. Aameen.
As salam aliekum.