Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Fight with My husband’s brother’s wife

Angry in-laws


Hi, I had a fight with my husband's brother's wife. I did not give back-to-back comments during the fight, where i can really give the comments and show her faults. As she was shouting a lot i did not shout back rather i was smiling and moved away from her and went to my room.

But now after the fight is done, I am getting angry on myself that why i did not fight with her, why i did not show her faults, as she was taunting me, why i did not taunt her?

I hate her and I don't want to talk to her anymore. She is a woman who did my brainwash and was backbiting always about other co-sisters and sister in law.

- chesplay001

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6 Responses »

  1. ASA sister,

    First of all I want to tell you that you did good by not letting the anger take over you. You showed what "True Islam" is all about! I understand what and how you feel, as this happened to me, my husbands brother was calling me names and saying so much horrible things so me and and as respect to my husband I did not reply (this was via txt). Now, he looks dumb because of how he treated me and feels horrible, he wants to apologize and move on buy yet had not because he does not feel good looking into eyes after saying those bad names. I guess I'm trying to say GOOD THAT YOU DID NOT SAY ANYTHING! You look like the bigger person and eventually she will apologize!

    Good luck sister!


  2. Salam alaykum,

    Please read the following hadith:

    Once the Prophet [SallAllahu Alayhi Wasallam] was sitting with his Companions, and one person used insulting words against Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu] causing him pain. But Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu] remained silent. The person again used bitter words against Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu], and still Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu] did not respond. The third time when this ignorant person hurt Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu] with his tongue, Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu] tried answering back.
    At this point the Prophet [SallAllahu Alayhi Wasallam] got up. Abu Bakr [Radhiallahu 'Anhu] asked him, “Are you displeased with me, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet [SallAllahu Alayhi Wasallam] replied, “No, but (when you remained silent) an angel came down from the heaven responding to this man’s talk. But the moment you started replying to that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down. And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting.” (Abu Dawud B41#4878)

    What you did was a perfect example of sabr, strength, and proper manners which many of us do not possess. Congratulations, may Allah reward you.

  3. Masha ALLAH sister you did great job! by not fighting back!

    It's just shaytaan.

    Proud of u

  4. Sister,

    You may not realize this but, the fact that you just stood still and smiled during the argument made you the stronger person. The fact that you said nothing whilst she had her rant, killed her! She wanted you to say something and believe you me, right now she is probably mad that you didn't come back at her with your own words. Don't be mad at yourself or even second guess your actions. You are a better person due to the way you held yourself...classy and a lady.


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