Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Fleeing an abusive husband… but still trapped

Hijabi woman with veil drawn over her face, half face

Dear members,

I belong to Pakistan, pukhtoon basically from afghanistan but born in Pakistan and hold Pakistani nationality. My family lives in peshawar and my in laws live in Karachi. I have been married to my maternal cousin since feb 2008, have two male kids aging 5.6 and 3 years. My husband treats me badly, abuses me, beats me, has extra martial relations.

I thought it would get all ok, but it has become worst and somehow, I got to my family in Peshawar and filed khula without informing my family but as the notice by court delivered him, my maternal uncle(my father in law too) called my mother and asked about it?

She got shocked and she and my brother started beating me even they know what kind of person my husband is. I really don't want to live with that beast and ruin up my children life.

Please someone can help me and guide me what can be done to nullify this marriage? I have had enough, I even tried to commit suicide. Please someone guide me what can be done? Thank you.


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3 Responses »

  1. The whole point of Khula is that the husband does not have to agree to it or accept it, it is enacted by the court with or without his approval. My advice to you therefore would be to proceed with the khula, then you will be officially and Islamically divorced and there will be nothing your husband or your mother or anyone else can do about it.

    You should not stay with your mother and brothers if they are abusing you. I do not know your financial situation, but if you work and have money get your own apartment and move out with your children. You do not have to live with your family. If you are not financially independent, perhaps you have other, kinder relatives, maybe on your fathers side, who can take you in temporarily until you can stand on your own two feet.

    You did the right thing by ending your marriage with a man who is abusive and a sinner. Stay the course, be strong and do not falter. May Allah help you and give you patience and strength.

  2. talk to the lawyer about it that your family is abusing you .
    there is an advocate Malik Salman Aslam. you can easily find his id on facebook. in his cover he has mentioned he is advocate he can help you in such case. he dont take divorce cases but he has long approach to help people like you. Go contact him and tell your situation.

  3. Subhan'Allah sister. I can understand this is such a difficult situation but remember Allah has an amazing plan for you, Allah truly tests those He loves and will reward you for your patience. Don't consider suicide sister.... this is the trick from shaytaan convincing suicide is easier buto there is no ease in jahannam sister!!

    Place your trust in Allah. He will make a way out for you. Pray tahajjud and beg Allah for help, you will see ease come from all angles insha'Allah.

    I don't know the situation in your country but maybe find someone you trust and who can help you escape this horror. Maybe it is common from women to get beat in your society? However this is ABSOLUTLY FORBIDDEN, haram in Islam sister. No one has the right to place their hand on you in that way sister. Seek help sistereo from wither someone you trust or the local authority, government, mosque ... anyone who can help you. Don't just suffer in silence. This is no home you should live in!

    Again, I don't know your society otherwise I would have said to move and live with your children alone but I don't know your condition if you can and if it is safe?

    Don't stay there and suffer though sis. Don't feel like you have to. Allah will help you ♡♡♡♡

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