My sisters scold me for their husband’s flirtatious behavior when I am innocent; what to do?
I came from an "okay" family. My mother is always the hard-working one while my father is always drunk, cheating or abusing my mother. We are 3 siblings together and none of us has fallen unto my fathers footstep. Thank Allah.
As we get older, we are all married except for me. My marriage did not work out and so i am divorced with two beautiful kids. While i was married to my husband my liitle sister got married and was living with her husband. We live next to each other. Even though he was married to my sister he will text me and tell me how much he love me and how much he wants to be with me. I told my mom. My sister found out and scold me for the whole scene. telling everyone i break up her house. To this day they are still togther. I was so hurt, allah knows my intention i will never ever do that. Well my sister did not talk back to me for years neither did the husband. Instead she is best friend with my ex. and his new lover.
Now my other sister, as my divorce became final. Her husband approached me one day and told me how he is love with me and wants to be with me. Oh Allah.. have mercy on me. I taught he was joking but the next day he did the same thing begging me to go out with him. No one knows anything and i fear to report it to anyone including my mom. As i said this will NEVER happen. I no longer talk to him also. In general my sisters do not like me and if she find out i dont know what will happen. she will scold me instead of him even though i am innocent. I have great respect for my sisters and their husband(s) but why can't they respect me. What kind of a society are we living in?
Mohammad
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salam sister,,,
so sad to hear your story...
anyways,.let's get to business.your first step is to seek help from Allah and do the all obligatory ibadah..
the second step which u must do is inform your mother and others who love u and with their help speak your part of stories and hoe they were encouraging u to be with them..but plz dont lose hope and be ungrateful to Allah..
dont make it late ti inform your family members else things will go the worst..there is another thing u can do ti save your modesty and respect, you can change your resident but that is upto u.its not that u should do that infact they should be the to do that.but u how our society is even u already experienced it..besides that y r also a human being so Shaytan can also lead u to his way...but Alhamdulillah u r much aware of what Allah wants and what our prophet taught and also about your childrens future..
just to get rid of future risks ,,i highly and earnestly advise u to inform everyone and stick to Ibadah so that Shaytan can not make u think like their husbands ..
may Allah guide and save u from evil..
Sister,
Your sisters husbands are evil indeed. You should not be talking to them or having any contact with them as they are non mahrem. But I understand its difficult because you go to your sisters house and they are present..
Its the 20th century now these men can be caught redhanded. If they text you again save the message or if they call you, record the call. Make sure you clearly say no to them on the call and curse them, show this evidence to your mother and sister! or do not answer any calls from your sisters husbands. Just ignore them! Explain to your sister that islamically you are not allowed to talk to them as they are your non mahrem. So that they do not think you are being rude to their husband.
I do not understand why both the husbands are interested in you. You must be very attractive! observe proper hijab if you are not doing this already.
"""I do not understand why both the husbands are interested in you. You must be very attractive! observe proper hijab if you are not doing this already"""
hmmmm,,,
well,,,
i m sorry but i also had the same question but did not ask bcz she was already burdened with so many sorrow and i somehow knew that she is not one of those who will try destroy others' home as she already had the chance twice and she herself experienced how it feel to be separated,,regardless she is speaking the truth or not in her posts..
so i agree with the other suster that u should wear hijab if u r not already doing it..
and ine more advice or u may tell a whisper in your ears that GET REMARRIED TO PIOUS MAN who will provide u security and besides that u have your whole life ahead of u and u hav the right to remarry as Allah gave u that right.u also note it that your childrens' future also must be managed.
that is upto u to remarry or not but as Allah gave u the right to remarry then one should go ahead. as far as your situation is concerned, remarry a pious man will help u protect yourself..
but if u remarry then make sure u marry a pious man otherwise u will cause trouble for yourself as well as your children..
may Allah help u,Ameen.
Allah knows the best...
I think if your sisters don't believe you, then when your brother inlaws call you I think you should record and save his messages is better for you because that is your prove to show your parents. And shame on your brother inlaws they are like your brothers there not suppose to be stupid and do such awful things.Is up to you but you should try to find a good muslim brother to take care of you and be there for you and your
Kids.
Assalam alaikum sister,
While it may be important to keep evidence of text messages and missed calls from your sisters' husbands, I think that if your relationship with your sisters is already suffering, it will do no good and may in fact make the relations worse. The evidence you provide might be looked at, but still not believed.
I would suggest that you minimize your interactions with your sisters for now. Focus on yourself and your children. If your sisters want to meet with you or talk with you, you can do so with them, but do not meet with their husbands. If they ask why, you can simply state that you want to prevent any problems like the ones in the past--and also mention that since you do not have a husband, you feel awkward--furthermore, it is not Islamic to be freely mixing with your sisters' husbands anyway. Talk to your sisters only and be very cautious and aware of your interactions--this will be odd as they are your sisters, but in situations like this, I don't think you have a choice.
Basically what is lacking is trust among sisters and there is a lot of sibling rivalry occurring--your sisters may interpret anything you do as negative since you are divorced and might see you as a threat. Do not worry about what they think - all you can do is control your own actions. If you are right and are behaving Islamically, that is all you can do.
May Allah ease your difficulties, Ameen.
I agree.
Hi Mohhamad,
Salaam,
If you are innocent no need to prove it, just be as you usual,
As part of sisters husband, if he again approach you just say "NO" and tell him don't repeat this also ask him get away from your sight,
rest of the comments and scold from your sister just give her some , when she came through the truth she will feel she done something wrong,
for till the just be cool and simple,
Be happy and don't worry,
May Allah Bless you dear
Gopi
Salam Sister,
Now that you are divorced many perverts will assume you to be readily available and as someone easily convinced into a haram relationship. your brothers- in-law are both, unfortunately very sleazy men with evil intentions, as it is well revealed to you.
Your relationship with your sisters is also not that of mutual trust, love and understanding. perhaps you are also beautiful and they are jealous of the fact and furthermore see your divorced or single status a threat to their respective marriages. if you had shown your brother-in-law's text messages as a proof of his misbehaviour to your other sister and yet he could easily slip out without any consequences then it is purely because your sister deliberately chose to ignore those proofs to save her marriage and directed all her anger very conveniently towards you. it only shows how weak she is and also how foolish. this probably must have further encouraged your other brother-in-law. He believes he can also easily escape since no1 will take any action against him and also since you have no supporters in the family.
I think trying to involve anyone now will prove futile as it did before. maybe you should take necessary steps to ensure that you don't send out wrong signals unknowingly.
1. observe hijab
2 don't open the door for any of them.
3. hang up their calls and block their numbers on your cell.
4. save any sleazy messages if you still have them as proof to produce in future if things cannot be controlled
5. in situations where you cannot avoid them like your parent's home or a family gathering, do not sit in the same room even though you are in your hijab. WALK OUT.
6.Talk to them in a very firm tone and voice if you absolutely have to talk to any of them and keep your expressions firm as well.
7. Avoid wearing makeup or perfume in general. if you wear makeup for a ladies function then wear a niqab to hide it from all men.
8. Even After taking all precautions if any of their sappy drama repeats then threaten them in front of everyone that you will take police assistance if they acted like rascals. That you have the proof and it won't hurt you to forget that they are related to you on anyway. Show you anger, your disgust. BURST OUT!!!
To live in dignity is your right. Nobody should be allowed to take that away from you.
As a Muslim I urge you to live an Islamic lifestyle. Allah will be pleased and you will be protected.
Dear sister,
Plzz go ahead and tell ur mom with confidence and trust in Allah... keep ur mother in loop.... Don't let the evil people take over ur self respect....
If any such thing happens again, u have a right to scream, embarrass and abuse that man in front of the society.. and lodge a complaint in women's association.
provoke ur inner strength to fight for ur honor and believe in ur purity, Allah will indeed help u out of it.