Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I go with results of istikhara or listen to my heart


The answer to my istikhara was unclear. I need advice


I was really glad to see such a nice forum. you people are doing a great job MashaALLAH , may ALLAH SWT bless you all. i would like to post a query for which i m very confused from past 1.5 years. I am a hafiz e quran as well a  teacher by profession. I had a proposal from a colleague, I knew him as a  nice and good bad habits or deeds apparently. i did istekhara, had a dream that he gives me sum thing that truns out to be black. later on my family also rejected. afterwards, i went for umrah and prayed in kaba to have wht is best for me.

after that he talked to me again that i should consider the option again and all that, afterwards, once i had a fight wd him on a cretain issue and i wanted to break up, i thought to go for istekhara again. again i had a bad dream as if i m struck in mud and as if i m returning back sumthing that i hv bought in  hurry and now turns out to be bad. the guy still claims to be very sincere wid me and my heart has varing thoughts... should i go for the result of itekhara or listen to whats in my heart. i have faith in ALmighty he ill do the best for me ..

bint e saleem

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10 Responses »

  1. Wa'alaykumsalam Sister,

    Masha'Allah you are a hafiz of Quran. Im certain that you also understand its meaning.

    I believe that you are not in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship with him. But you had fights with him and you wanted to break up makes me think otherwise. I hope i'm wrong because, you being hafiz should know better regarding socializing with non mahram, its prohibition and sins.

    Now regarding your question, the answer is very clear and you have it. Its written on the wall. You did istikhara thrice and the result is negative, you know that istikhara means guidance by Allah yea ? So do not try to ignore Allah's guidance. Allah has indeed made it clear to you three times that, that man is not right for you and cut all ties with him. You would be a total fool IF you ignore the outcome of your istikhara and listen to satan's whispers in your heart. I believe you wouldn't ignore it.

    Tell him its finished, and tell him to not interfere in your life again.

    All the best

  2. As Salamualaikum,

    Sister bint Saleem, if you are certain that those were the indications from Allah, then would you like to go against what Allah Wants?

    If Allah Has Said He Likes something or He Doesn't, it is well worth consideration. Your heart could have influence from the Shaitaan, so don't always depend on it. Yes, dreams are not necessary and sometimes we feel an inclination towards what Allah Wants. But dreams are possible, and perhaps, this is your case.

    This, in no way means that the man is not nice. It just means that he is not nice for you. Just being good on Deen or the otherwise is not enough for a successful marriage. What you need is perfect compatibility, which, perhaps does not go with the man mentioned. Allah Knows Best.

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  3. Salaams,

    Just to put it simply, you asked if you should "listen to what's in my heart", but also stated that "my heart has varying thoughts".

    I think it's pretty clear that you shouldn't listen to or put your trust in something that is "varying", because it's going to give you different answers all the time. That's no guidance at all.

    -Amy Editor

  4. Dear Sir,

    I have got job offer in Cambodia. I was confused so I consulted an Aalim for Istakhara. My istakahra came neutral. Aalim said that decision is upto me. What should i do in this case. Please advice.


    • Ali, pray istikhara yourself, and then make a decision based on what you feel is best, and trust that Allah is guiding you.

      Wael Editor

  5. Assalammu alaikkum
    I am performing istekara for last five days...

    [Editor's note: Please read the information available in the Istikhara section of the website. If you need further advice, please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post - that way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  6. Salam..
    I love somone and I want to marry him I have done istekhara but I have seen so many dream dont even remember ..... so what I have do to

    plz help

    thanks may Allah bless u all

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Istikhara isn't dependent upon dreams. Please read the advice already given and the articles on this website about istikhara.

      Midnightmoon editor

  7. Salaam

    I want to marry a Sikh who is converting to Islam. He is learning to pray and fast but of course his family is still Sikh.
    I did istikhara and the ayah that came was positive (Surah 9 ayah 100) but my family is 100% against it.
    What do I do?

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