Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Forbidden Love

As-salaam Alaykum

I wanted to ask and seek for advice. I have a Muslim boyfriend for almost 4 years and I'm a Christian and have a one baby out of marriage from another guy. Before he courted me i told him everything about my past and he accepted it with open arms, but his family doesn't know about my past. I already meet them. They are a good family and they treat we nice when I'm with them. But he decided to end our relationship because he doesn't want to choose between me and his family. He told his best friend before that he will marry who he wants because at the end of the day it’s his life. He also told me that at the age of 30 he will get married no matter what the nationality or culture of the girl(this gives me a chance), but why all of a sudden he changes his mind? He told me that he's father doesn't like the idea of our relationship but he also said that his family likes me and love me. I really don't understand. It's very hard for me, because of him I become a better person and he brings out the best in me. Because of him I got to know Islam and I'm already adopting Islam and their culture. We love each others so much and I want his family to accept me and my past, but he keeps on telling me he knows already the answer(that his family will disagree). This broke me into pieces. I don't know how to start again. Please give me your advises. Thanks in advance. Peace be upon us all.



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2 Responses »

  1. I find most Muslim guys use western girls for sex and so on and when they want a wife they end up wanting a virgin and one from the same culture. Sorry but his lying to you!

  2. Assalaamualaikum

    I think that, if he's made it clear he won't marry you, the only thing you can do for yourself and your child is to cut your losses and walk away. You and your child deserve a husband and a step-father who will be proud to stand beside you and will not hesitate to stand up for you to anyone. If this guy can't do that, then I'm sorry but he's probably not the right man to marry. Don't sit around waiting for "a chance" - forget that, you deserve someone who'll be thrilled at the chance to marry you!

    I hope this guy won't tarnish your view of Islam. Islam teaches respect and peaceful values; it is perfect. Sadly, human beings by our very nature aren't. This guy shouldn't have become involved with you if he wasn't 100% set on marriage, and he shouldn't have become so emotionally involved outside of marriage. If a Muslim man is serious about having a relationship, he should approach you, and your wali (male guardian) if you have one, with a proposal for marriage, not get involved in a premarital relationship. A practising Muslim man of good character should know that if he is not prepared to make this commitment, he shouldn't get involved romantically.

    Midnightmoon editor

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