Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Parents died and I’m being forced into marriage

forced marriage

Forced Marriage

Asalamu 3alaykom, i want to start out by telling you that my mother passed away a few months ago. My mom meant the world to me and before she died she told my uncle to take care of me.

I came to my home country to see the guy I was going to get married to but things didn't work out and we broke it off. I was very happy and I said now I can go back to America and finish college just how my mom wanted me to do before getting married. But things changed. My uncle forced me to get engaged to my cousin who I don't want at all and I don't want in my life. He beat me to get engaged to him and he scared me a lot.

I didn't have anyone not even my family I couldn't tell anymore now i have been engaged to him for the past 5 months things are not really working out, especially after I told him I said maybe Allah will make things better. He's a really nice guys with a sweet heart and he's in love with me. I just don't love him or even want to see him. We get into so many fights and I can't stand him sometimes. I really can't stand him or even want to see him.

I feel bad but I was forced in to this marriage. If things didn't happen like that I wouldn't be like that. I always dreamed of my husband, and always wanted to be the best wife but things went horrible for me, and my life is so hard right now. I don't know what to do.

I am interested in a guy that is so sweet and caring and I might be falling for him but I'm scared I'll get attached. I wish the guy I'm getting married to leaves me and I never see him again. I just want to be happy and fulfill my deen with the love of my life.

I'm so so scared, worried and I feel so bad. Ya Allah help me, I wish things could change. Please help and and give me advice. My uncle will kill me if I leave him and I don't know what to do. I wish I was happy and I just don't want him in my life at all. I want to complete my deen with the love of my life. Ya Allah help me and please help me.

- Nadoosh08

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5 Responses »

  1. What nationality is your citizenship? If you are a US citizen or green card holder, go to the consulate and talk to them about your situation.

  2. Salaam Sister,

    Are you American born/citizen?

    Your sister
    Hana

  3. You need to go to the police and get out. Get your passport and get in touch with the ambassador of pakistan to contact america. Force marriages do not exist in Islam.

  4. Salam Sister,

    Make an excuse to go out of the house and head to the nearest American Embassy by taxi or any means. Do not go to the Pakistan Police Station as they might turn you back to your family.

    If you are 18+ and living in US, you are basically legally independent, it means you make decision of your life and bear the responsibility and consequence after it. Your life is yours and your uncle can give you advice ONLY but the decision is YOURS. You may like to talk to him respectfully but firmly let him know that you do not want this proposal. I know there is a lot of cultural burden and barrier in Paki-Indian culture. One thing you need to know is there is no forced marriage in Islam. You should stand up strong for yourself since there is noone to speak to you anymore and it is your future. Do not be afraid to speak up, do not feel pity for the boy as this is your future. I hope this message arrives you safe.

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    Forced marriage has no place in Islam. It is a form of oppression, and goes against our rights as Muslimahs. There is no blame attached to leaving such a situation.

    If you are a US citizen or have residency rights (even just for studying), you can go to the nearest US embassy and ask for help - they will inshaAllah be able to keep you safe and get you back home to the US. The US embassies have a website - http://usembassy.gov - you can find the nearest embassy to you and how to make contact with them, inshaAllah.

    If you can, try to plan your exit strategy so that you minimise the risk to yourself. Try to make sure that you know where you're going and how to get there safely.

    May Allah protect you and guide you through this, and help you find a happier future.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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