Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Forced marriage and marital rape

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Rape is a crime. It is never the fault of the victim.

salam. M a 24 year mbbs doctor currently doing my housejob. My rishta was fixed to a cousin who used to sexually abuse me in my childhood and i was not even asked if i was willing for the rishta. I had seen him abusing my ither cousins as well thats why i have always hated him. When i got to know i told my mom very clearly that i was not willing to marry him and for seven long years i begged her to refuse them but she never did. I am now forcefully marrieed to him and m a going through physical mental and sexual abuse everyday he has beaten me badly several times he accuses me of having an affair and spreads this rumour everywhere and not even willing to divorce me. M in a great misery even my parents don't support me m all alone struggling and suffering. They ask me to compromise for family's reputation and honour. But i feel like m dying slowly here. What should i do now?

Sara

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11 Responses »

  1. assalaam alaikum, you know what to do, get out of there, islam doesnt recognise forced marriage.

  2. Ws. You must get out. But, first plan your escape. You are educated and can earn a steady amount with your qualification. Start collecting evidence against him. Pics of torture marks, record his abusive language. Consult a lawyer/read up on the internet evidence used in such cases. Enlist the help of cousins who were his targets. Do not reveal your plans. Just bring them into the loop saying you know what has been done to them and they must help you when the time comes.
    Plan your escape, where you will stay, how will you conduct a lawyer, how will you file a case, how evidence is to be presented. Do all your homework before you leave.
    Leave. File for divorce. And then once the process is through, leave the country you live in if possible. All along, be careful not to have a child with him.

  3. Walikumsalaam sister.

    Its abvious what shold u do? The anwser is simple and strightforward LEAVE HM!. Ask for khula and leave him. U dont need ur perents support as they dont have hearts nor they fear of allah!! They are selfish and crule people. They will not help u or support u even in the future so u better not expact anything from them. As u said ur a doctor so u should have some mony and u shold be able to fainancily support ur self. If yes. Then please sister dont west even one more day of ur life with that monstar. Leave him as soon as u can. Dont listen to ur perents selfish useless lacture or u will regret it one day. U have to stand up for ur self and save ur self from tht monstar.

  4. Sister doesn't he show a single bit of love to you?

  5. Sister if what you say is true then islamically you have the right to leave. You shouldn't be going through all this abuse. You will need to find someone that will love and care for you not abuse you. But that will later you must first plan your future how your going to live and divorce obviously you don't want to mention that to your family or abusive husband otherwise they'll abuse you even more. Probably after you get out of all this you maybe able to explain all this to them later.

    Always remember Allah and pray to him to make things easier for you. I hope it all works out for you.

  6. Assalam o alaykum,, i am sure that you are in a pakistani family.

    Best option for you is to go to a qadi and take khulaa. I am sure he hasnt even given meher and that too amount was so low intentionally.

    Bring this up in fromt of the qaazi and ask his family and ur family members to attend and u should say that ur no longer interested to continue this abuse.

    .

  7. Leave him before you get kids. Don't waste your life with him. After having children it's going to be really hard for you as well. Eventually you have to do this than y should after having kids. Don't waste your life for that ------; your life is much more important that you family dignity.

  8. Salam.Sister leave now...this is not about family reputation and honor...This all pure evil ..In Islam life should be simple honest loving respect...If we are not practicing are faith and bringing the t best noble character in our lives prophet Muhammad. ...Then how will we survive in this world....Shaitan comes 24/7 this his job...but if we are reading Quran and protecting are IMAN ..praying SALAH helping others reform..

    Then we are living a cursed lif. .I feel sorry for you and others...That's why if you are educated .you are In dependant and can go anywhere...your parents will come to there senses and will realize that you have rights. .Women in Islam have more rights then a man...I would know my wife is a Sunni scholor..pack your bags file a report and find sisters at sunni mosque who will help you...Right now you need to divorce him and start fresh...Learn your Deen and understand it and practice it...Allah knows all...Do not dwell on past..this is how shaitan wins.. A pious man's says an idle man's brain is a devils workshop. So do zikr and fill your heart with Allah's love.Remember Allah created this world to test everybody and everybody will be taken to account

  9. Leave him immediately ....right now...

    Did you leave him or not till now?

  10. Are you serious, sister? You need to get out of there fast.

    Record his abuse on your mobile if you can.
    Plan your escape carefully.
    Collect your papers, bankcards and passport
    Make an escape bag including change of clothes, medicine etc.
    Leave when he isn't home.

    You need to find out your options because where you are (country) is important. Can you escape? Wil the law and police protect you or hand you back to your family? Contact the mosque or Islamic council for how to obtain a divorce (khula)

    You have a solid qualification and can work anywhere. Just get out.

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